Sins
by K. Walsh
Summary: Our Detective, A.D.A. and their daughter find themselves in some pretty incredible situations.
1. Chapter 1

Hey,

Just wanted to update everyone; Sins is complete and was given to my editors on Monday. Once I get it back from them I will post. This has been a long time in coming. I'm sorry for the delay but life seemed to get in the way of my writing this year. It's the third novel in the series so some old storylines will be revisited but there are plenty of new ones. Our Detective, A.D.A. and their daughter find themselves in some pretty incredible situations. I hope you find the story intriguing and that you keep with it until the very end.

-K. Walsh


	2. Chapter 2

_**Law & Order: SVU**_

"**Sins"**

An Original Law & Order: SVU Story

Copyright 2010 by: K. Walsh

**DISCLAIMER:** Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf. All the other characters are fictional and have come from the depths of my imagination. This story is an original work of fiction set in the pre-existing world of Law & Order: SVU. All original characters and major storylines contained within this story belong to the author. The pre-existing characters have been borrowed for the purposes of good clean fun…well, maybe not clean. Take heed: this story contains coarse language and sexual violence (rape and sexual assault), brief graphic depictions of violent crime and trauma. There are also scenes of sexuality and mature themes between two female characters and two teenage characters.

**Author's Note: **A special thanks to Torrie and Becca Boo for inspiring The Kid, Shelley for introducing me to Derby Cain Casey and Jude Lucien. Also to Shoana Martin, whose updates about her little girl inspire anyone who reads them to enjoy each day to the fullest. To Kate Gage for editing _Sins_ and my father, Joe Walsh for editing this story and the other two; all a child ever needs from a parent is acceptance and support. Thanks for accepting my stories and supporting my writing. Lastly to all my friends who have put up with me…I know I can be a mess! Sins is the final chapter in my 'S' series; Sideways and Scent are the other two. While you don't need to have read Scent or Sideways to enjoy Sins, you probably should, in that order. It will it will clear up a lot of confusion you may have and explain the short blonde running around in the story.

**Rating: **18/M

Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson

Stephanie March as A.D.A Alexandra Cabot

Christopher Meloni as Detective Elliot Stabler

Richard Belzer as Detective John Munch

Ice-T as Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

Dann Florek as Captain Donald Cragen

Diane Neal as Casey Novak

Anson Mount as Jim Steele

Special Appearance by Angie Harmon as Abbie Carmichael

**Prelude**

Jess and Olivia had moved into Alex's condo a month earlier. It was the best thing for all three women. The teenager continued to keep her grades up in school and work part-time in Computer Crimes for Rubin Morales. True to his word, Jess only did grunt work for him, ran searches, hacked through some firewalls, did some decoding and tracing. Although the chores were generally routine, she had done some high-profile and difficult work for Computer Crimes. The young blonde never saw the victims or the suspects until she was subpoenaed and testifying in court, and sometimes not even then. Jess and Richard Stabler were still dating. It was hard to find time together, given both their busy schedules. They did go out dancing on Friday or Saturday night, whichever night Olivia and Alex went out; fewer questions were asked of them by the older women if they were already going out.

To say that Alex was happy would be an understatement. For the first time in a long time she felt as though her world was whole. She and Olivia almost never fought anymore and she and Jess were closer than ever. The A.D.A. was prepping for Brian Nudds's trial. The case was beginning with opening arguments on December 17th. The A.D.A. was also in the midst of working with the Special Victims Unit on a new case.

Olivia was finally starting to feel as if her life was settling down. She was living with the woman she loved; had loved for a very long time. Her quasi daughter was living a somewhat normal life. Jess was down to one therapy session with Dr. Hendrix a week, was attending school on a regular basis and was doing mostly low-key work for Computer Crimes. The detective and Alex were happy. They made regular 'date nights' and for the most part never canceled on each other. For the first time in years Olivia was sleeping though the night. She still worried about Jess and Alex, but not the way she had been. She also continued to have flashbacks of her time in Sealview, although they were few and far between.

Jack McCoy had a meeting with Alex a week before Brian Nudds's trial was to start. He told her that he felt she had a personal stake in the case. He would let her try it but he was assigning her a co-chair. Jim Steele would be working with Alex on the case. The two had been friends and co-workers for years. Shortly after Alex returned from WITSEC she became Bureau Chief of a group of A.D.A.'s and Jim was one of them. They had been involved on a personal level when they there much younger and had a one-night-stand while Alex was his Bureau Chief and engaged to Richard Manning. The engagement and the one-night-stand were both very distant memories.

The One-Six was in the midst investigating a string of rapes. The suspect looked different in every attack, but the MO was the same. The papers had dubbed him 'The Cowboy Rapist' because he hog-tied his victims on their bed after he raped them.

**Chapter One: The Vic**

**232 Lexington Avenue**

**Saturday December 9****th****, 00:21**

He followed her home. He accosted her by gunpoint a block from her apartment. The man put his arm around her and held the gun with his other hand hidden in his coat. He made her walk into her building and to the elevators. They rode up to her floor, got off and walked into her apartment. Once inside he took his coat off, held the gun on her and instructed her to do the same. He made her go into her bedroom and go through her dresser drawers to find a pair of pantyhose. He took them from her in the hand that wasn't wielding the gun. "Strip," he commanded.

She shuddered. Gripped with fear she slowly took off her cashmere sweater and designer blue jeans. She stood in front of him in panties and bra.

He cocked the gun in his hand. "Do what you're told." His tone was even and nonchalant, as if asking for a glass of water.

Her body shook and the bottom of her jaw quivered as she removed her bra and slipped her panties off. He forced her to lie on her back on the bed. He tied her arms, at the wrists, above her head to the iron slats of headboard of her bed with the pantyhose. He pulled a condom out of his pocket and held it in his teeth as he took off his pants. She struggled against him, tried to keep her thighs closed. He forced them apart and she whimpered, knowing that she couldn't stop him. The power he had over her made him hard. He ripped the condom wrapper open with his left hand and rolled his on his penis. He held the gun on her with his right hand as he kneeled on the bed between her highs.

She looked up at him, her eyes wild and full of tears. "Please…don't…" Although she had meant to scream it, scream anything, the plea had come out as a whisper, barely auditable to even the two people in the room.

He pushed himself inside her.

She closed her eyes and started to cry. He brutally raped her. When he was finished with his savage attack he untied her wrists, then forced her onto her stomach. He tied her wrists and ankles together, essentially hog-tying her. He pulled the condom off, found the rapper and placed them both in a small plastic bag he pulled from his pants that were on the floor. He put his clothing back on, pocketed the tiny plastic bag, put his coat on and left the apartment.

**Saturday December 9****th****, 08:06**

Olivia and Jess were on their way to the station house. The detective legitimately had to work and the short blonde riding shot-gun in her Mustang wanted to do her homework there. Olivia always found it odd that Jess found some sort of calm in the utter chaos that was her workplace. She hadn't questioned the teen in quite some time about it though; she just accepted it. As had the other detectives and their Captain.

Jess and Olivia were singing along to the radio at a red light. The light turned green and the detective followed a minivan though an intersection.

BANG!

The sound of metal on metal and glass shattering broke the serene air in the Mustang. Olivia served to the left to avoid the accident; an SUV had t-boned a minivan in the intersection in front of them. The detective brought the car to a skidding stop. She and Jess leveled looks at each other.

"Shit! Are you okay?" Olivia unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned towards Jess. She touched the teen's face and head with her hands. Her eyes became wide as she looked for injuries on her little girl.

Jess nodded her head. "Yeah…yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?" She took Olivia's right hand in her own. She held Olivia's left hand to her cheek with her palm. She desperately wanted the detective to look at her. Olivia stopped and gazed into the hazel eyes looking up at her. "Livie, I'm fine." The brunette's eyes became softer as she sighed.

With everything that had happened in the seven months they had known each other it didn't surprise Jess that Olivia had over-reacted the way that she did. The teen gave a half smile. "We didn't even hit anything." Then she looked away from Olivia and out her window. "They did though." The detective followed her daughter's line of vision to the accident beside them. They looked back at each other for a second before they flew out of the Mustang to help.

There was a woman and a two-year-old in the mini van. The woman was unconscious and slouched over the steering wheel. Jess opened the sliding door and unclasped the tethered straps of the toddler's car seat. Other drivers and proprietors of local businesses came out. Jess tried to lift the crying toddler, seat and all out, of the van, but she wasn't strong enough. Another driver came over to the door. He picked up the seat and followed Jess over to Olivia's Mustang, which was still running. He put the little girl in the front seat to keep her warm. The teen closed the door, thanked the man and looked for the detective who was going into the passenger side door of the van. She called to Jess. "Call it in! Get buses here! Stay with the baby!"

Jess went around to the driver's side, opened the door and got in. She closed the door and grabbed Olivia's walkie-talkie and clicked in. "This is SVU portable to Central. We have an MVA involving two autos at the intersection of 64th Street and Central Park West. We need multiple buses at the scene; there's an infant involved."

Dispatch came back to Jess and informed her that EMS, Fire and Police were on the way. Jess looked towards the van and SUV in front of her. Olivia was climbing out of the minivan and their eyes met. The teen opened the driver side door and called out to the detective. "Cavalry is on the way!"

A woman came up to Jess. "I manage the store over there." She pointed to a children's clothing store behind and to the left of them. "Is everyone alright? Do you need any help?"

Jess looked at the woman and then to Olivia, who was headed over to the white SUV to see if anyone was hurt. As Jess turned her head to address the woman she saw the driver of the Sport Utility Vehicle exit the vehicle and take off, away from Olivia. The detective called out. "Stop! Freeze!" The driver ran full-tilt down the street with Olivia following him.

The teen looked at the woman. "Yes, you can help." She turned and saw the man who had brought the child to Olivia's car. She called him. "Grab the baby and take her into this woman's store to keep her warm. There is help on the way." He opened the passenger door and grabbed the toddler in her seat. He followed the woman to her store. Jess got into the Mustang, put her foot on the clutch, pushed it into gear, punched the gas, swerved around the wreak in front of her and took off in the direction Olivia and the driver of the SUV. She looked down the alleys between the buildings and didn't see anyone. What she did notice was that a street ran at the other end of all the alleys. Jess came to the sixth alley and saw Olivia's back. She was only a quarter of the way down; the perp was about half. Jess hung a right into the seventh alley and buried the gas peddle. She flew through the narrow space between the two buildings, came out at the other end, hung another right and came to a screeching halt on the asphalt at the end of the sixth alley. She wretched the door open, slid out of the car, bent down and reached under the seat. She hit a button and a small compartment opened. Jess grabbed the gun from inside it, cocked it, looked up and was face to face with the driver of the SUV. She planted her feet, squared her shoulders and levelled the gun at the man. "Freeze!"

A look of shock carved his face and he tried to go from a full out run to a sudden stop in one stride. It didn't work and he stumbled. Olivia came from behind him and pushed him onto the hood of the Mustang. She grabbed his left wrist with one hand and her cuffs with the other. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked him, out of breath, as she cuffed his wrists.

The man just grunted. Olivia pushed him harder onto the hood of the car and she cuffed his right wrist. Then she looked at Jess. "Take the car back to the scene, call this in and WAIT at the scene for me."

Jess knew she was in trouble. She unzipped her coat, put on her gloves and wiped her prints off the gun with her hoodie. She placed it back in the secret compartment and closed the tiny door. She took her gloves off, pocketed them and got back in the car. She drove it back to the crash sight, parked it and grabbed Olivia's walkie-talkie. She heard the sirens behind her. She wouldn't have to call it in; she could tell the first responding officers in person in about two minutes.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Saturday December 9th, 10:31**

It was a full house by the time Detective Olivia Benson and Jessica O'Malley walked through the doors of the bullpen. Fin and Munch had caught the latest rape the night before; it was also the latest victim of 'The Cowboy Rapist'. They had been up with the victim all night, first at the scene, then the hospital, followed by the squad room where they had taken her statement. Fin had driven her home and had returned to the bullpen about ten minutes before Olivia and Jess had come through the doors. Elliot had been called to the scene as well, in charge of overseeing the CSU process the apartment. Munch and Fin hadn't slept all night, but Stabler had caught three hours in the crib.

Stabler looked up from his coffee cup as his partner and her pseudo daughter edged through the door. As he looked at Olivia he saw something in her eyes. Elliot couldn't place it right then, but something had spooked his partner. He nodded to them. "Morning ladies, so nice of you to join us this morning," he said in a sarcastic tone, knowing Olivia should have been in the squad room two hours earlier.

His partner's eyes changed; she gave him cut-eye as she met his gaze. "Not a good time, Elliot."

As the women turned sharply to the right and headed up the stairs to the crib, all three of the detectives watched in bewilderment. Olivia had Jess's coat in her right fist and was pushing her up the stairs.

Munch turned to the others after they saw the door to the crib closed. "Wonder what the Kid has done this time?"

Fin shrugged. "Gotta be somethin' pretty bad. Liv's never even come close handling Jess before."

Stabler let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Having children was a rough job. He placed the look in Olivia's eyes now. It wasn't so much one of anger, but of fear. There was no doubt Jess had done something, but he was positive it had scared his partner more than anything. "Whatever it is…we should stay out of it."

This garnered raised brows from Detective John Munch and Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Stabler was usually the first to stick his nose in Olivia's business.

About five minutes later Captain Donald Cragen poked his head out of his office and addressed his detectives. "Is Benson here yet?"

Stabler looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "Yeah"

Cragen nodded. "Get her, briefing in five minutes about the rape last night."

The detective closed the door behind her and finally relinquished the hold she had on the winter jacket. Jess didn't turn around; she waited for the older woman to address her. It didn't take long. "I'm not even sure where to begin." The words had come out slightly labored, Olivia's head and heart where bounding between anger and fear. She decided not to show her fear. "Turn around," she said sternly.

Jess turned to face her maker. Of all the things that would make Olivia send her back to Foster Care and drop the case to become her adopted mother what she had done this morning was surely it.

Olivia crossed her arms. "How long have you known about the gun my car?"

"I don't know. A while…" Jess said with a shrug, trying to hide how terrified she was.

The detective narrowed her eyes. "Stop it. Don't play these games with me, Jess." Olivia squared her shoulders. "How long?"

"Richard and I took your Mustang to one of those coin car washes in the fall…" Jess closed her eyes and shook her head trying to think back. She opened them again. "I honestly don't remember the date, sometime in October. I was vacuuming out the front seat. I looked under the driver's seat and saw the little black box. I waited until later than day, when I was alone but I opened it and found the gun."

As innocent as the explanation was it scared Olivia to death that Jess had found her gun. The anger continued to win over the fear. "Did you pick it up that day?"

Jess nodded her head but said nothing. Her fear grew.

"Damn it, Jess, it isn't a toy!"

Tears formed in Jess's eyes. "I know it's not. I just picked the gun up; I just wanted to see what it felt like…"

This further enraged the detective. "Are you kidding me? You wanted to know what it felt like? Why didn't you ask me what it felt like? In fact, why didn't you tell me you found the gun at all?"

Jess shrugged, holding back the tears. "I don't know…I thought you would be mad I found your hiding place." She stuttered as she spoke. Her detective, her protector, was angry with her.

Olivia uncrossed her arms and threw them up in the air. "Oh, right! 'Cause pulling it on a perp was a much better idea? 'Cause that wouldn't make me mad at all!"

The kid was on the edge; she couldn't hold on much longer. "No! I didn't mean to do what I did today…Livie…please…I really didn't…I swear…"

"Just want exactly were you thinking today? Honestly, what the HELL was going through your head?"

Tears fell down Jess's cheeks. How could she explain? How could she make Olivia understand? Jess had only had one thought in her mind in that split second when she saw the woman who held the key to her safety run full-tilt in pursuit of the driver of the SUV. "Elliot…" she said softly.

Olivia wasn't sure she had heard Jess correctly. She crossed her arms over her chest again. "Of all the things you _should _have been thinking about, all that was going through your head was Elliot?"

"Livie…please…just listen to me…I…" Jess's breathing became labored as she tried to explain. "I saw you take off…after the driver of the SUV…and something just snapped…inside of me…" She closed her eyes, unable to verbalize what had shot through her on the black top as she watched the detective run after the perp without back-up.

"For someone who normally has too much to say about things you certainly have very little to say for yourself." The words had come out sounding very little like Olivia. Her tone was dark and laced with disgust, something Jess had never heard turned on her before. It actually scared the teen into trance-like state. She stopped crying instantly and the colour drained from her normally hazel eyes.

Jess looked into Olivia's eyes, but appeared to almost be looking through the detective. "I'm sorry I can't explain myself." She spoke in a tone she didn't recognize; it was distant and monotone.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the teen. "You'll have plenty of time to try. I'm not letting you out of my sight until you can explain what happened today."

A knock at the door broke Olivia's intense gaze; Jess's eyes never moved. The detective turned on a heel and opened the door to her partner. He stared at her, "Cragen wants to go over the case in five."

The brunette pushed past him in the doorway and headed down the stairs. She needed to be briefed on what had happened last night before Cragen was. Elliot was left looking into the crib. Without Olivia blocking his view he could actually see into the room. Jess stood, staring into space with an absent look on her face. It was a face he had seen before. The first night he had met Jess she had stared up at him with that look on her face. "Jess…" he said softly.

She turned to meet the voice. Olivia was gone and Elliot was standing in the doorway. She looked at him, unable to speak.

Elliot visibly shuttered as Jess turned and met his eyes. He saw the icy nothingness that had formed over the normally vibrant green. "Jessie," he said, in an almost panicked tone, "what happened?"

"Nothing," she responded in a monotone and walked past him. She went down the stairs, took her laptop bag off her shoulder and placed it on her desk. Jess sat down, shrugged her coat off and booted up the computer. She and Olivia never made eye contact even though they were sitting adjacent to each other. Elliot watched from above. Whatever had happened, it was big and had scared his partner to death.

Cragen walked out of his office to address his squad. Although he noted Jessica O'Malley's presence in the bullpen he had accepted the fact that she was a fixture in the room, like the florescent lights that illuminated the room, or the very desks where his detectives sat. Cragen walked over and leaned against Olivia's desk, forcing her to roll her chair slightly away from the desk. He looked at Fin, who was the Primary on the case. "What is our latest victim's name?"

Fin stood as he spoke. "Meghan Russo." He walked over to the media board, all eyes on him, including Jess's. "She's 36 years old, a teacher at Manhattan Tech."

"That private school in Tribecca?" Olivia asked.

Fin nodded. "Yeah, hence why a teacher can afford to live on Lex between 54th and 55th streets."

Munch stood and walked to the media board. "She fits the profile of all the other victims. Late 20's to late 30's, at least moderately wealthy, lives alone, no known enemies, hasn't received any hang-up phone calls, hasn't sensed anyone following her."

Stabler spoke up. "What's with his guy? How does he know where these women live? I mean, he must be stalking them."

Benson furrowed her brow. "What did she say the perp looked like?"

Fin turned to the media center and hit a couple of buttons. On two screens five sketches appeared, the day before there had only been four. He pointed to the fifth sketch. "Bald, 6'2", light brown skin, blue eyes, a nose that looks like a beak and a mole on the left side of his cheek."

"How is it that he can always be 6'2" but everything else is different? He's had four different eye colours, including red. So we know he's wearing contacts. His nose always looks different and he always has something identifiable on his face but it's always different." Olivia got up and walked over to the board. She pointed at the first sketch. "The first victim remembered he had a scar over his right eye." She pointed to the second sketch. "The second victim recalled he had a tattoo on his left cheek."

Munch pointed at the third and fourth sketches. "A scar on his right cheek and a hairy mole on his chin were described by his third and fourth victims."

Cragen raised his brow. "Now a mole on his left cheek. Sooo…he wears contacts and his face is different in every attack. Either we have five perps that are all the same height or one perp that is disguising his face somehow."

"Putty."

Everyone in the room turned in the direction of the voice. Jess stared into nothingness, not quite focusing on anything in the room. "You can use face putty to change certain features like your nose. You can also create fake scars with it. You can buy fake moles and tattoos at any costume store. If you go on-line you can order high-grade face putty, the kind they use in the movies. You can make entire masks with it, which might explain why your perps face is different every time." The explanation was given in a monotone as Jess stared into nothingness, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by everyone in the room.

The Captain turned and narrowed his eyes slightly at Benson, conveying he wanted to speak to her after the briefing. She saw the subtle nuance and nodded slightly. Cragen addressed the room. "Good call, O'Malley. We should be looking into some of the higher-grade places that sell this type of putty. They will probably sell mainly to production companies, so hopefully they will remember a man buying a lot of products for himself. Was there any DNA this time?"

Munch shook his head. "It's not likely. As with all the other cases the perp wore a condom and took it and the package with him."

Cragen looked at Stabler. "What did CSU find?"

Stabler leaned back slightly in his chair. "Not much, which is pretty consistent with the other crime scenes. The perp wore gloves, along with a condom. We're running finger prints found at the scene, but we're not expecting anything from them. He shaved his head, so there were no hairs. The rape kit isn't back yet, but like John said, it's unlikely that there will be any fluids from the perp."

Fin looked at Jess. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. He wondered if it was her upcoming testimony against Brian Nudds or something new entirely that had the teen spooked. He looked back at everyone. "If this guy is using professional grade costume make-up, it's possible he's stealing it from where he works. We should also be looking into any movie productions that are going on in the city that started filming just before the first attack and are still in production."

Cragen nodded. "Okay, people, get to work and see what we can find." He went back to his office. Benson followed him. The other detectives divided up the work and sat back down at their desks. Jess continued to work on her homework, although she was having a hard time concentrating.

Once inside the Captain's office the detective closed the door. Cragen stood behind his desk and looked at Olivia. "What's wrong with Jess?"

Olivia shrugged. "Nothing. Why?"

Cragen raised his brow and cocked his head to the right. "Well, for starters she didn't look at you during the entire briefing. In fact, she didn't look at anyone at all. She seemed distant, lost…scared. She didn't even speak in her normal tone. So, Detective Benson, I'll ask you one last time…what is wrong with Jess?"

The detective's mouth dropped slightly from being called out so accurately. "I'll handle it."

"See that you do." Cragen sighed and dropped the bad cop persona. "Olivia, the Kid has a lot on her plate right now. Nudds' trial is coming up. Is she going to be able to testify?"

Olivia sucked in some air and closed her eyes. Through her own anger and fear she had forgotten about the stress of the impending testimony her daughter was going to have to give. _FUCK. Mental head slap_. The detective opened her eyes. Her tone was calmer and devoid of hostility. "She is working on it with Alex. I think she will be able to do it."

Cragen looked at his detective and spoke with a fatherly tone. "Whatever is going on between the two of you…work it out. Jess is going to need someone to make her feel safe…we both know she'll be looking for you."

Benson nodded. "Thanks Cap."

Cragen nodded. The detective left his office and closed the door.

The detectives worked for the next few hours in almost complete silence. Jess struggled to concentrate on her homework. She got up silently at one point and when to the bathroom. She stood in the tiny room and looked at herself in the mirror. This was it, she thought to herself. She had finally managed to ruin the best relationship she had in her life right now. Olivia was going to give her up. Her eyes filled with tears. She could not go into Foster Care. She was ripped from her own thoughts by a knock at the door. She ran her right hand over her face and opened the door. She was startled to see Elliot standing there.

"Will you tell me…please?" He said it in the softest, most fatherly tone he had. Jess and Elliot had been to the brink of hell and back. He had kept her safe and captured the man who sexually assaulted her. He had lied to her and hurt her. She had forced him to put in his paperwork to transfer out of SVU. They had come to an understanding after that, and even bonded over helping Olivia. The detective thought of Jess as one of his daughters. He loved her and would do anything to protect her.

Elliot was the closet thing Jess had to a father. She loved him like one, even thought of him as one. While neither one had ever said it to the other they realized these feelings where mutual. She held the door open and nodded slightly. Elliot walked into the bathroom and Jess let the door close. She turned to him. "Livie is going to give me up…"

"What makes you think that?" Elliot's eyes squinted as his jaw dropped slightly. There was no way his partner was going to give up her little girl.

The teen swallowed hard, her body shook. She met Elliot's blue eyes. "I found the gun, under her seat in the Mustang. I pulled it on a perp today…"

Elliot's eye went wide. He lost control for a moment. "What? Jess, why did you do that?"

Instead of scaring Jess, the way Olivia's had, Elliot's tone and body language made her angry. "The driver of the SUV took off this morning. Livie ran after him without back-up! I had to go after her!"

The detective sighed as he tried to regain some of his composure. He could tell Jess had only pulled the gun because she was trying to protect Olivia. The teen had put herself in danger, not to mention the fact that she hadn't even hesitated to pull a gun on someone. As Elliot spoke he had his hands in front of him, gesturing to emphasize his point. "No, Jess. You didn't have to go after her. You shouldn't have. Olivia is a trained police officer. You are a teenager."

Jess was furious. _Who did Elliot think he was?_ "Oh, really…El? What would you have done?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I would have gone after her. But Liv is my partner, we protect each other. I'm a trained…"

"That's right; you would have gone after her! You weren't there though…I was. I did what you would have done." Jess cut Elliot off. He had made her point for her.

Elliot sighed. "Okay, Jess I see your point. I know you just wanted to protect Liv. I get it…I really do." He uncrossed his arms and extended his right hand to the tiny blonde's face. He ran his fingers down her right cheek as he spoke. "But you have to listen to me, hear_ my_ point." He withdrew his hand. "I am a trained police officer and before that I was a Marine. Olivia is also a trained police officer. We know how to aim and fire a gun. We know how to bring a perp down. You are a very intelligent, very capable person…but you aren't trained the way Liv and I are. What if the guy had gotten the gun away from you? He could have turned it on you and Liv, and shot you both. You would have never meant for him to get the gun…but he could have gotten from you."

The teenager had calmed while Elliot had been talking; she listened to him. "I know…you're right. I didn't really think about that." Jess sighed. "Honestly, all I could think about was what you would do if you had been there."

"I know that. It shows how much you love Olivia so I understand why you went after the guy. You can't do that again though." Elliot stared down at the tiny blonde.

Jess nodded. "I know." She looked up at the detective with tears in her eyes. "Livie is so angry with me. She's going to give me away…"

Elliot was about to cut her off when the door to the bathroom opened and Olivia walked in. She looked at Jess as the door shut behind her. "I am not going to give you away." The rage and fear had left the brunette's tone and eyes. "Who exactly do you think I would give you to?"

The blonde looked into Olivia's deep brown eyes. She was no longer terrified by what she found there. "I, uh…I'm not sure. I guess back to Ms. Wilkinson."

Olivia stepped closer when she realized Jess was no longer scared of her. "Why do you think I will give you away every time I get angry with you?"

"Because you can!" The three words came out more as a wail than anything else.

The detective scooped Jess up in her arms and held her. "Shhhh…It's okay," Olivia cooed to the crying child in her arms. It took a moment but the crying subsided. The brunette held Jess an arms length away from her body, so she could look into her eyes. "I can't give you back…or away. I physically couldn't do it. I love you more than anyone else in my life."

Elliot looked at the women. He was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable. His partner and her daughter should be having this conversation in private. They didn't need to be having this discussion in front of someone who wasn't a part of their family. He cleared his throat. "Well…umm…I better get back to work…"

The women turned from each other to face him. Olivia spoke. "No…I…um...don't leave. I want you to hear this, too." She looked between her partner and her daughter. "Elliot, like it or not you are a huge part of Jess's life. There is no denying the love between the two of you."

A slight blush found its way up Elliot's neck and across his face. He looked at Olivia, "You're right." He turned to Jess. "She's right. Jess…I think of you as one of my daughters. My family is crazy about you. Dickie," He shook his head. "Richard loves you. Maureen, Kathleen and Eli love when you're around. Kathy adores you and Lizzie…well…there is some bond between the two of you that I haven't quiet figured out yet." He sighed. "The point is you are a part of my family and I love you very much."

Jess smiled at him, slightly embarrassed herself at the detective's show of emotions. "I really like being at your house, with your family. I love Richard very much." The blonde walked over to Elliot and took his right hand in hers. She didn't look at him; she just ran her thumb across the knuckles of his hand. They were much larger than her own. There was something very comforting about them. She finally looked up into his blue eyes and broke the silence in the room. "I never knew my father. Tony is a great guy, and he has taught me more than any other man I know. But you…" She looked away for a minute and when she looked back at Elliot, Jess had a small smile on her lips. "…You protect me. You…get me. You think my games are amusing." The slight smile morphed into a full on grin. "You even play my games with me. I've never had that…with a man." Jess shrugged. "I've grown to love it, El."

He squeezed her hand slightly and she let go of it and hugged the detective. Elliot put his arms around the tiny blonde and hugged her. He smiled over her at his partner. Olivia winked at him and smiled her trademark crooked smile. "I love it, too," was all he said. They let go of each other and turned to Olivia. "I'll leave you two alone." Elliot walked past them and left the bathroom.

Olivia looked down at her little girl. The smile had disappeared but her face remained soft. "I know what it feels like to not have that connection to a father. I am unbelievably thankful you have found that with Elliot."

The teen looked up at Olivia, a million questions etched on her face. Only one came out of her mouth. "What was the reason your mother gave you for not telling you who your father was?"

It was the one question she wasn't prepared to answer. Olivia shook her head. "Another time. Jessie, you have to start believing me when I tell you that I will not give you away. You are not some toy that when I get bored with I will put on a shelf and forget about. I waited what seems like a lifetime for you. My little girl finally came into my life. Jess, no matter how angry or frustrated I might get with you, I will not give you up. Nor will I give up on you. Please…please don't give up on me."

Jess looked up at her foster mother. "I could never give up on you. I love you. You…you protect me. You make me feel calm. I need you…Livie…I can't explain it. I just need to see you, be near you. I…I can't function without you." She sighed. "I know I was outta line this morning. I just…when you took off after that guy…"

Olivia held up her hand, palms out. "I know. I heard you explain everything to El. I understand why you did what you did. Please…Jessie I am begging you…please don't ever do anything like that again." The brunette looked away for a moment and then back down at Jess. "You scared the hell out of me. I have never felt so close to losing the most important person in my life as I did today. I can't lose you…I just couldn't bear it. I know I over-reacted but I just needed you to never, ever do something like that again."

The teen threw her arms around Olivia. "I swear I won't."

"Good. Now, how is your homework coming along?" Olivia asked as she hugged the tiny blonde back.

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Saturday, December 9th, 18:47**

Dinner had been made, the table was set and now the women sat down for dinner. Alex looked at Jess and Olivia. "So, I guess it would be too much to ask of the two of you to just have a normal Saturday at the One-six, huh?" she said over the top for her black framed glasses.

Olivia and Jess leveled looks at each other and grinned. The shorter blonde looked at the taller one. "Ally, you have to appreciate the fact that trouble just seems to find us. I mean, did we set out looking for what happened today?" Jess raised her right eyebrow. "No. It just happened."

Alex shook her head and smiled as she looked between the two women. "See that nothing else like this just happens again."

The detective smiled lovingly at her girlfriend but spoke with sarcasm. "We can try, dear."

"Please try, darling, that's all I ask." Alex raised her right eyebrow as she pushed her glasses up on her nose.

Jess watched and listened to the women sitting with her at the table. Calm washed over her. The blonde liked when Olivia and Alex played their little games and called each other endearing names. Although said with sarcasm Jess knew they loved each other. "So…what time are you two going to 904 tonight?"

Olivia looked from Alex to Jess. "We were sort of thinking of staying in tonight."

The A.D.A. turned her attention to the short blonde to her right. "We haven't spent a lot of time with you lately. We thought we could all have a quiet night together."

As nice as that sounded Jess hadn't seen Richard Stabler in four days. They had plans to go out to The Market, a club they frequented. She_ needed_ to see her boyfriend. Jess also needed the release she felt when she was on the dance floor. The teen had to get her pseudo mothers out for the evening if she had any hope of leaving the condo that night. "Awww…that's so sweet. I would love to have a night with just us girls. When was the last time you two were out on a date?"

The detective thought for a minute. Had it already been two weeks? "I think we were out a couple of weeks ago."

Alex thought back as well. It had been a while.

"Look, we can all hang out any night of the week. You two should go out tonight. Live it up at 904. We can chill tomorrow night." Jess said, hoping they bought it.

Olivia and Alex exchanged looks. Their eyes lit up with the prospect of dancing to the Latin beats in the club. The older blonde looked at the younger one. "You're sure it's okay?"

Jess nodded. "Absolutely. I'll clean up here. You two need to get ready."

Intense brown eyes met electric blue ones. Coy grins found their way onto Olivia's and Alex's faces. "I guess we're going out."

While the detective and the A.D.A. got ready Jess cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher and started it. She also texted Richard and told him to come up in 45 minutes. Jess knew Olivia and Alex would be gone by then.

As if on cue, 20 minutes later both women appeared in the living room dressed to kill. Olivia wore dark blue boot-cut jeans with a black v-neck blouse that was tight in all the right places. To finish the outfit she wore four-inch stiletto heeled boots. Alex was clad in tight designer blue jeans, a flowing pink blouse and three-inch heels. Jess turned her attention from her laptop to the women standing before her. She let out a low whistle. "Woooow…you two look slammin'."

Alex smiled. "Thank you. Now, what are you doing tonight?"

"Not sure yet. Richard is studying at the NYU library for a bit, and then he is coming up here. We'll probably just stay in and watch movies."

Olivia glanced from her girlfriend to her daughter. "If he stays over he sleeps in the guest bedroom, understood?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Yes, Livie. Why do we have this conversation every time he spends the night?"

"Because sometimes teenagers have short-term memory problems when it comes to sleeping arrangements. I just want to make sure you, and Richard, don't fall victims to that problem." Olivia said, her right eyebrow arched.

The teen shook her head. "You think you're funny, don't you?"

Olivia shot her a half-smile. "Sometimes. Admit it…you find me mildly amusing."

Jess rolled her eyes, again, and smiled in defeat. "Yes, Livie. I do." She slid the laptop onto the couch and stood up, "Goodnight, ladies. Be safe."

Alex kissed Jess on the top of her head as she hugged her. "Goodnight, kid." She tickled the left side of Jess's neck, directly on her pink scar. The teen smiled. She let go of the A.D.A. and turned to Olivia; who held out her arms. "Goodnight, Jessie." The young woman nuzzled the detective, which made Olivia close her eyes and hold her little girl tighter. She loved Jess more than anything. They let go of each other, grabbed their coats and the tiny blonde showed them to the door.

About 15 minutes later Richard Stabler arrived. Once he shed his coat he was dressed in nice jeans and a black dress shirt. Jess met him in the foyer clad in halter-top crimson dress that stopped just above her knees. She stepped into three-inch red heels and Richard held his hand out to her. She took it and he spun her around until she was up against him. They were face-to-face. "Hello, Querido," Jess said in a coy tone.

"Hola Hermosa," Richard said back, grinning. He captured his girlfriend's soft lips in a kiss. They let go of each other's hands. Jess wrapped hers around Richard's back and ran her fingers possessively up and down. His started on her neck, ran down her back and pulled her closer to him. The kiss deepened and it occurred to both of them that they didn't have to leave the condo if they really didn't want to. They broke the kiss and Jess spoke first. "I love when you speak Spanish to me."

Richard smiled. "It's pretty sexy when you speak it, too. You know…we could just stay here, have a night in?"

"True, but I want to dance. Actually…strike that. I _need_ to dance, with you…now." Jess shot her boyfriend a devilish grin.

He let go of her and grabbed their coats. "You don't have to ask me twice. Are we going to The Market or Island?"

Jess put on her coat. "Uhhhhh…actually I'd like to go to Island, DJ Z is spinnin' records there tonight."

"Niiice!" Richard said as they left the condo, locked the door and headed for the elevator.

When they arrived at the club they were let in immediately by the two bounders that patrolled the entrance. One of them clicked into the wireless network that the security team used to communicate. "Your guests have arrived, Mr. Rios"

"Thank you. I can seem them on the monitors in the control room." Juan Rios said as he watched the many screens in the security control room of the club.

"**904"**

**Saturday, December 9th, 23:19**

Alex, Olivia and Becca, the owner of 904, stood at the bar and each tossed back a shot of tequila…followed by a lime to suck on. Olivia was the first to take the lime out of her mouth. "Becca, you still have the best club in Manhattan."

"I agree," Alex said as she set the lime on the bar beside her, "and the best tequila."

Becca smiled. "Thank you, ladies. It helps that two of my best customers come around much more often these days!"

Olivia and Alex smiled at each other. Becca smiled and rolled her eyes. "Oh Christ, just kiss and get it over with!" The blonde and the brunette did just that. It was a very passionate kiss and when it ended they were both slightly embarrassed for having done it in front of someone. Becca shook her head and smiled. "You two are sooo cute."

A voice from the other end of the bar called to Becca. She smiled at the woman and waved. "Duty calls, ladies. Have a great night if I don't see you again."

"We will. Thanks, Becca," Olivia said and hugged the woman.

Becca turned and hugged Alex goodbye. "Get back out on the dance floor," Becca said. She turned and disappeared into the crowd of women in the direction of the one that had called to her.

Olivia smiled. "We should take her advice."

"It would be rude not to." Alex pointed out.

The pair looked at each other and burst out laughing. They hit the dance floor and started dancing face-to-face. Alex put her right leg between Olivia's and her left on the other side of the detective's leg. They wound and ground on each other to the Latin beats for another thirty minutes. Arms snaked around each other's torsos; fingers slid across silky fabric as they teased the skin beneath. Olivia nipped at the tension cords of Alex's neck. The A.D.A. slid her left hand down the brunette's back until it rested on her backside. Alex possessively cupped one of the detective's cheeks and pulled it towards her. Olivia bit down harder on the blonde's neck, causing her to hiss slightly. The taller woman turned the shorter one in their personal space so they were dancing front to back.

Alex wound her right arm around her detective's torso and let her fingers play across her stomach. Olivia's right hand found the blonde's and forced it lower still, past her navel until it rested on the top of her jeans. She also pushed her backside harder against Alex's abdomen and wiggled. The A.D.A. grinned and pulled the brunette closer to her. Olivia craned her neck back and let it fall on the taller woman's shoulder. Alex licked her detective's neck and whispered in her ear. "I _want_ you, Detective."

Olivia's eyes shuttered closed as she felt her girlfriend's breath on her ear. Alex nibbled on her earlobe. That was it. The brunette's eyes shot open. "I _need_ you, Counselor."

That's all it took. Olivia turned to face Alex and they both knew what was going to happen. Although they had not discussed it the sparkle they saw in each other's eyes told the story of what was to come. They left 904, grabbed a cab and took it uptown. They remained silent in the taxi but sat touching each other in the backseat. An almost electric current flowed between them. The driver stopped outside the building, the women paid him and got out of the cab. Although the taxi was gone the pair stood in silence looking up at the building. Olivia turned and smiled at her lover. Alex grinned. The Olivia grabbed her right hand and dragged her into the building. Once inside she let go. They acknowledged the people they encountered and continued up the stairs and into the SVU bullpen. The room was completely empty.

Alex grabbed Olivia's hand and tugged it, forcing her to spin around and face the A.D.A. Her blue eyes sparkled with intrigue and an inquisitive grin played across her face. "The crib?"

Olivia shook her head. They had made love in the crib before. She wanted something new, something that dared the women, something that was forbidden. She met the blonde's blue eyes with her own intense brown ones. A coy smiled graced her lips as she spoke. "Interview One." Olivia walked towards the interview room, pulling Alex with her. The detective closed the door and turned to the blonde, who had taken off her heels. She walked toward the A.D.A. and kissed her. The kiss was soft and gentle, unlike the ones they had shared in the club. Alex backed the brunette up towards the door. The kiss intensified; the blonde invaded Olivia's mouth with her tongue. The detective sucked on Alex's tongue, then forced it out, ending the kiss. A devilish smile played across her lips as she looked up, "Turn around."

Electric sapphire eyes narrowed slightly. "No."

The detective squared her shoulders; her eyes became darker at the disobedience. She thought for just one second before acting. She put both hands on blonde's blouse and ripped it open. Olivia grabbed the A.D.A.'s left arm and twisted it behind her back. Now that she was behind Alex, the brunette shoved her against the glass of the mirror that was also a two-way window looking into the interrogation room. The blonde braced her contact with the mirror with her right hand. It wasn't a hard shove her detective had given her; it hadn't hurt at all. The little game wasn't about pain; it was pushing their limits and daring each other as a couple.

Olivia placed her lover's left hand on the mirror; she dovetailed their fingers, found Alex's right hand, put it on the mirror and did the same. She leaned into the blonde's backside with her abdomen, stretched her body the length of Alex's and dropped her head to the right side of normally taller woman. "You should have turned around…" she licked her earlobe.

The A.D.A. shuttered, not only at the words but also at the velvety touch of her girlfriend's tongue. She soon found strong arms winding around her waist and undoing her jeans. One good tug and her pants were around her ankles…as was her thong. Olivia pushed her shirt up her back with one hand, while she undid her bra with the other. She pulled at the shirt, forcing Alex's hands off the mirror and her arms back. Before she knew it the A.D.A. was rid of the blouse and bra. She stepped out of her pants before anything else happened. The detective laced her fingers into her lover's and placed her hands back on the mirror. She nipped at Alex's back and sides, the blonde's breath caught in her throat for a moment and her alabaster skin grew goosebumps at the sensation. Olivia let go of the hands under hers and ran her fingers along bare arms, shoulder blades and back. She pushed the blonde hair to the left side of Alex's neck; it fell down her front and tickled her left nipple.

Alex felt one hand cup her right breast. It kneaded it at first and then gently pinched the nipple. Her thighs started to sweat as Olivia pinched harder. The detective snaked her left arm around the A.D.A.'s waist. She slid it down her flat stomach, over her abdomen and through the thin patch of blonde hair that hid her girlfriend's sex. The brunette gently ran her index finger through the now very slick folds of the A.D.A. She felt Alex's sharp intake of breath, before she found her clit and lightly rubbed it. The result was a slow exhale combined with a moan.

The detective rubbed harder and rolled Alex's nipple between her index finger and thumb. The blonde's breathing started to become labored. Olivia watched in the mirror as her lover's eyes fluttered shut and her forehead lowered onto the mirror. She smiled; it was a beautiful sight. She abandoned the soft breast and ran her fingers down Alex's body and rested them on her abdomen. The brunette slid her finger from the A.D.A.'s clit to her center. She pushed two fingers inside. Alex spread her legs wider and swallowed hard. Olivia slid her fingers in and out of the blonde's sex. She pushed a third finger inside and developed a faster rhythm. Her lover responded by bucking her hips to the rhythm. Alex's natural arousal was dripping down her girlfriend's fingers and onto her own bare thighs.

Olivia wondered just how far she could push her girlfriend. As she slid her fingers out of Alex she slid them behind her sex, up her backside and to the tiny puckered opening. The first few times she did it very lightly. With every stroke she pushed slightly at the opening with her thumb as she made it wetter. The blonde's breathing became ragged and she began to whine each time her backside was pushed. Olivia couldn't tell if the noise was out of enjoyment or fear that she would push inside. Maybe she had finally found her lover's limit? She slid her thumb one last time back to the tiny opening and pushed gently at it. Alex pushed against the detective's thumb, forcing it inside. "Uhhhhhh…" the A.D.A. hissed as she pulled her hands into fists on the mirror. The detective's jaw dropped as she looked up at Alex's face. Then she grinned and bit her bottom lip as she realized she had found a new way to excite her girlfriend. Olivia stretched her fingers out and pushed them inside the blonde's sex as she slowly moved her thumb back and forth in the tight space it occupied. Alex inhaled sharply and buckled under the sensations; her chest fell against the mirror as did the left side of her face. The detective held her right hand in place on the A.D.A's abdomen and supported her until she found her bearings. "I've got you."

Hearing her lover's voice brought Alex back from the edge. She felt her legs again and used them, taking her weight off of her detective. Olivia flexed her fingers inside the blonde with every stroke.

"Uh, uh, uh…more…uh, uh…"

A grin appeared on Olivia's lips. She looked up at Alex's face and watched as she slid her right hand down onto the blonde's clit. She stroked it as she pushed her fingers in and out of the A.D.A.'s sex.

"Ohhhhh….fuuuuck…." Alex panted as she bucked against every part of her detective's hand.

The grin widened as Olivia pushed her thumb all the way inside her girlfriend's tiny hole and wiggled it.

Alex's fists opened and her hands were palms out on the mirror. "Yeeeesss….yeeeesssss…." it came out more of a whine than anything else. It was all the blonde could get out as her detective sent her over the edge for good. Her orgasm took over. She stopped bucking her hips, but Olivia continued to ravish her.

The detective finally relinquished her stranglehold on Alex's sex. She snaked her hands up the lithe body, held the A.D.A. around the waist and kissed her bare back gently. "Think anyone watched us do that?"

As she tried to catch her breath Alex opened her eyes and grinned. "They received quiet a show if they did." She turned in the small space between Olivia and the mirror to face her lover. "How did you know…" she dipped her head out of embarrassment, "that I wanted _that_?"

The brunette shook her head and smiled sweetly. She took Alex's face in her hands and lifted her head up, so their eyes met. "I didn't know you wanted _that._ I just wanted to see what would happen if I touched you like that. Al, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. _That_ was HOT."

A blush started on her neck and found its way up normally pale cheeks. Alex smiled. "You're HOT." She buried her face in crook of Olivia's neck, still embarrassed by the shameful act she had participated in. She played with the hem of her detective's blouse, and started to undo the buttons. Alex pushed off the brunette and kissed her. It was a sweet kiss, in which her tongue asked for permission into Olivia's mouth and it was granted. She undid all the buttons on her blouse and rid her of it and her bra. The A.D.A. moved her hands to the detective's back and pulled her closer, so that their breasts came together. The brunette's skin was warm and soft against Alex's. She worked the button fly of the jeans and pulled them down. Olivia stepped out of them and her heels; her girlfriend grabbed her backside and pulled the pair together. The A.D.A. licked and sucked on her lover's neck. She kept her left hand on the brunette's backside, but moved the right one around her body, down her abdomen, under the string bikini and found her detective's clit. She played with it gently, garnering a moan from the older woman as her eyes fluttered shut. She wanted to hear Olivia beg so she never increased the pressure of her rubbing.

Olivia couldn't take it anymore; she shamelessly started grinding herself against Alex's fingers. This only encouraged the A.D.A. to stop all together, move her hand away from her girlfriend's clit and pull her hand out of her panties.

The brunette's eyes flew open. "No, no, no…get your hand back down there." She grabbed the blonde's right hand and forced it towards her center.

The younger woman pulled it back in protest. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Detective. You're on my time now."

A coy smile found its way onto Olivia's lips, her eyes filled with need. "Oh really, Counselor. What exactly does that mean?"

Having finally been honest about what had happened to her while she had been under cover in Sealview Alex never wanted to 'force' Olivia to do anything while they were making love. The brunette liked to play the top, and the blonde loved being a bottom for her. Although they had played opposite roles Alex never wanted to make her detective a true bottom. She captured Olivia's lips with her own, and slowly backed the shorter woman up to the table in the middle of the room. She picked her detective up under her backside and set her on top of the table. Alex stood between the strong olive coloured thighs; she ran her hands over them as Olivia sucked her tongue. She wound her arms around her detective's upper back and lowered her to the table.

Alex broke the kiss. She winked and smiled seductively. "Just you wait and see, Detective." She pushed off the brunette and tugged at her bikini. Taking the hint Olivia lifted her backside slightly and the A.D.A. pulled the small cotton piece of clothing from her cheeks, down her thighs, over her calves and off her feet. She pulled the chairs from either side of the table and placed them at the end of the table with enough space for her to stand between them. The blonde took her lover's left leg and moved it so her foot rested on one of the chairs; she did the same to the right leg. Alex stood between them and leaned over her detective. She started at Olivia's neck and left a trail of kisses down the center of her body; between her breasts, down her defined stomach and abdomen and ended at her center.

The soft touch of Alex's lips on her clit made the brunette exhale slowly. She ran her tongue through Olivia's slick folds, which garnered a sharp intake of breath and a moan. The A.D.A. licked and sucked her girlfriend's clit. The detective squirmed on the table at the sensations. Alex finally stopped and looked up the shorter woman's body. "I love that you give yourself to me," she said with a grin on her face.

"It's very easy when you suck my clit," Olivia replied, her eyes open now as she looked down at the woman she loved so much.

The blonde put her hands on her detective's hips and pulled them closer to her, bringing the older women almost to the edge of the table, her knees bending sharply. She stretched her body across the brunette's and licked an already erect nipple. As Alex licked a line with her tongue across to the other breast she pushed two fingers into her lover's sex. She sucked on the nipple as she pushed her fingers in and out.

"Uhhhhhh, uh, uh, uh…" Olivia loved how her girlfriend's fingers felt inside her the first time they demanded access to her sex. It was like pure liquid. Her thighs started to sweat as Alex quickened the pace of her fingers. She nipped at the detective's nipple as she sunk a third finger inside the wet center.

"Ahhhhh, uh, uh, uh…" The tiny bit of pain felt incredible against Alex filling her fully.

Alex grinned at the noises emanating from the woman beneath her. It made her wet all over again knowing that she could make the detective act this way. She curled her fingers inside the brunette, found that tiny spot she knew Olivia wanted her to hit and listened for the inevitable.

A sharp intake of breath, "AHHHH, uh, uh, uh…"

The A.D.A. knew her detective was getting close. How could she not be? The tremors had already begun. Alex knew it was only a matter of time before the brunette's body won over her mind and she would be forced to let go. "Come for me."

"Uh, uh, uh…Al…Al…uh, uh…"

Alex moved her left arm under the small of Olivia's back. She pulled her detective closer to her, and arched her back. She quickened the pace of her fingers inside her girlfriend. "I've got you. Come for me, Liv."

Olivia inhaled quickly as she let go. Alex's words echoing in her ears as every muscle in her body tensed. The blonde continued to move in and out of her lover's sex as she came. She slowed the pace as the contractions became weaker. She sucked at the brunette's left nipple.

"Ooooooh God, un, un, un…" Olivia said at the sensation of Alex's fingers still inside her and her soft lips sucking at her nipple.

The A.D.A. pushed her thumb against her detective's clit and savagely rubbed it.

"Un, un, un…Allllllexxx…" were the only words that came from Olivia's mouth as she squirmed on the table in the interview room. Her body tensed again…and Alex smiled.

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Sunday, December 10th, 08:31**

Jess woke, slowly becoming aware of her surroundings. She could feel her boyfriend's arm over her stomach. She thought for a moment, opened one eye and put a hand on top of his. He didn't move. She ran her thumb over it. Richard still didn't move. Jess spread her legs apart and moved his hand down her abdomen, through the tiny patch of blonde hair and through her slick folds. He started to move his fingers in circles. Jess's eyes shutter closed. He pushed a finger inside her sex and she moaned.

His eyes shot open and leaned so he could see his girlfriend's face. "Woooow…you're wet?"

The sides of her mouth tugged up in a smile as she pushed two of his fingers inside of her. "Uhhhhhh…girls wake up with morning wood too, you know."

Richard wiggled his fingers inside his girlfriend, which garnered a full on grin and a moan. He was about to kiss her when they heard the front door to the condo open. They both froze.

"Shit…" she whispered.

"Fuck…" he whispered.

The door closed and someone started the coffee in the kitchen.

He pulled his fingers out of her and she winced and held her sex.

Richard looked at her and immediately apologized. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry, Jess…"

She sighed. "It's fine…just don't pull out like that again."

"I won't, I swear."

"We have bigger problems…you're not supposed to be in here."

"Yeah…no shit. You think they looked in on you last night?"

Jess shook her head. "No way."

He got up and put his boxer briefs on. "How can you be so sure?" He asked, slightly worried about seeing his girlfriend's quasi mothers at the breakfast table that morning.

She moved to the side of the bed and knelt. She looked up at her boyfriend. "Because you still have this…" She cupped his penis, which was hard, through the cloth of his underwear.

He cocked his right eyebrow, "Good call."

"Go to the spare bedroom, through the bathroom. Don't come out until you hear me start the bacon."

Richard nodded, kissed his girlfriend and left her bedroom. She smiled as she watched him walk away; he was having a bit of hard time given the state of his penis. She retrieved sweat pants, a bra and an NYPD tank-top from her dresser. She went to the bathroom, came back into her room, put them on, opened her door and padded barefoot out to the kitchen.

The tiny blonde smiled at the taller one sitting at the table, reading the paper. "You're up?"

Normally, Olivia went out to the kitchen first while Alex fussed with her skirt suit, make-up and hair. Today was different. "Yes…I'm up. Is that a problem?"

Jess went to the fridge and grabbed the bacon. She moved to where the pots and frying pans hung and took down a skillet. With her back to Alex she said, "No, it's not a problem. Where's Livie?"

The A.D.A. knew her daughter was asking because she figured the detective had left early this morning for work and hadn't woken her to say goodbye; something Jess had begged Olivia to do ever since the Markus Stanley case. The detective had done so every night or early morning since. "She's still sleeping."

The frying pan had heated up on the gas burner and she was about to put the strips of bacon in it when she heard Alex's answer. Jess put the strip of bacon down on the package and slowly turned around, a half-smile played across her lips. "You wore her out, huh?"

Alex looked up from the paper, thought for a moment and then glanced at her daughter. "Judging by the fact that you got up late this morning and Richard is still here I'd say Liv isn't the only one that was worn out last night." It was said with perfect composure and matter-of-factly, as if she had simply asked for a cup of coffee.

The teen's jaw dropped, not just from the accusation about her and her boyfriend, but also from the admission about the women raising her. She was speechless.

The older woman went back to reading the paper. Only then did she smile. "Jessie, close your mouth, dear."

"Daaaaaaamn, that was great!" Richard appeared in the kitchen.

Both women looked up. Jess smiled. Alex went red.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Sunday December 10th, 12:06**

Normally the bullpen was pretty empty on a Sunday, just the on-call detective and sometimes the Captain. Normally they weren't working a serial rapist case with no leads. Everyone was in and they were spinning their wheels. Cragen walked into the squad room. "It's been 24 hours since the latest attack. Whatta we got on our rapist?"

The detectives looked at each other and then at their Captain. Munch cleared his throat. "It took some time, given it's the weekend, but we finally received a list of motion pictures filming here in the city." He looked over his glasses at the Captain. "There are 27 that started just before the rapes began."

Fin looked at the Captain. "We widened the search to include theater productions that started around the same time…there are 8."

Benson held printouts in her hand. "Got a list of all the high-end cosmetic stores that sell face putty." She looked at the total number on the last page and sighed. "There are 55 in Manhattan alone."

Stabler shook his head. "I've heard about finding a needle in a haystack…but come on."

Cragen looked between the detectives. "We need to catch a break in this case…find me one." He walked to his office and closed the door.

The detectives looked at each other. Munch spoke first. "Fin and I will run down the theater productions and movie sets. See if anything turns up."

"Liv and I will canvas the make-up stores; see if any rapists jump out at us." Elliot said sarcastically.

Benson shook her head. "There has gotta be a better way to go at this."

"When you figure it out, call us," Fin said as he grabbed his coat.

They spent the rest of the day out in the field, got through roughly half their lists and yielded very little.

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Sunday, December 10th, 22:43**

Although Alex had cleared space for Olivia in the den, and they had step-up a desk, the detective preferred to pore over case files in the living room, in an oversized arm chair. She had actually made it home for dinner. She and Elliot had called it quits around 17:30. The detective now found herself in the oversized arm chair in the living room. She had Fin and Munch's notes on the case in her hands, crime scene photos spread all over the coffee table and her own note pad and pen on the left arm of the chair. Alex and Jess where lying on the sectional couch together, watching a movie. Once the movie was over the shorter blonde sat up, the taller one looked at her and spoke. "Do you want to prep here tomorrow after work or in my office?"

The statement caught Olivia's attention and she looked up from the case notes for the first time in a couple of hours.

Jess pulled her knees up to her chest; something that did not go unnoticed by the older women in the room. "Your office."

Alex sat up and looked at the teen. It was the first time she had chosen to be prepped for this case anywhere but at home. "You're sure?"

The blonde nodded her head and looked at Alex. "Yeah, I'm sure. I need to say my testimony somewhere other than here."

"That's a good idea," Alex said as she nodded.

"I need to say it in front of someone other than you, too," Jess said, breaking eye contact and furrowing her brow.

Olivia shifted in the chair, winced and immediately regretted having not moved in two hours. "I can meet you in Ally's office tomorrow. You can do the prep in front of me."

"You'd do that? You'd come down and listen to me?" Jess asked, turning to the brunette.

"Of course, Jessie. I'll be there whenever you need me to be," she said, smiling sympathetically.

Jess got up and went over to the detective. She threw her arms around Olivia's neck. When she finally let go she pursed her lips. "Thanks, Livie." She turned so that she could see both women. "I'm going to bed, night."

The detective took Jess's hand in hers and kissed it. "Night, Jessie."

She let go and Jess walked by Alex. She hugged the taller woman and they said goodnight to each other. Jess disappeared into her room. The women looked at one another. Olivia raised her right eyebrow. "How is she doing?"

Alex shook her head. "She could be doing better." She moved to the other end of the couch, in order to be closer to Olivia. "When she retells what happened to her she doesn't use the correct terms. I need to get her to actually use the words. She can't continue to use phrases like 'his thing'. She needs to say his penis." The blonde sighed. "It's a lot harder than I thought it would be to prep her. Most victims I push and coach to use the proper terminology, but Jess is different. I don't want to push her…actually I can't," The A.D.A. admitted.

Olivia pursed her lips as she looked ruefully at her girlfriend. "I can't even imagine how hard this has been for you. I guess that's why McCoy made you second-chair in this case. Has Jess prepped with Jim yet?"

"No," Alex shook her head. "She refuses to talk to anyone but me about what happened during her attack. The fact that she is going to talk about it at the office is a step in the right direction, but she will be called on Thursday or Friday of this week to testify. I can't even begin to predict how she will do on the stand, in open court, in front of Brian Nudds." She cocked her head slightly as she looked at Olivia. "Honestly, if Jess wasn't our only living victim I probably wouldn't put her on the stand."

The detective raised her brow and let out a long breath. "Great," she said sarcastically out of frustration. "What do we do?"

"I honestly don't know."

**Monday December 11, 01:58 **

The blondes in her life had gone to bed quite some time ago. Olivia had the case files of all the victims laid out, on top of the crime scene photos, across the coffee table. She was still sitting in the over-sized arm chair, but she now had her note pad in one hand and a pen in the other. Jess had gotten up to go to the bathroom and on the way back she noticed light streaming in from under her door. She opened her bedroom door and padded out on the hardwood floor to shut the light off in the living room. The teen was surprised to see the detective still poring over the case files. She walked over, sat on the couch and looked at Olivia with her eyes squinted from the bright light. "It's two in the morning. Go to bed."

Olivia looked from her notes to her watch. "Shit, you're right."

Jess rubbed her eye. "I know I'm right." She stopped and looked at the brunette. "This case has really gotten to you, huh?"

The detective tossed her notepad and pen onto the coffee table and leaned back in the chair for the first time in a couple of hours. It felt good. "Yes." She opened her eyes wide, as if stretching them and then focused back on Jess. "We have six victims and not one lead."

"The putty thing didn't work out?" The blonde asked as she closed each file and stacked them on top of each other at the end of the coffee table.

Olivia watched and didn't protest as her work was being put away for the night. "Actually that's the only lead we might have. Do you have any idea how many cosmetic stores carry face putty? Or how many theater, movie and television companies are currently using it in the city of New York?"

"Countless," Jess said as she stacked the last file. She looked at the crime scene photos that were left on the table. "I'm a visual person. Can I look at the photos?" She finally looked up at Olivia.

The detective cocked an eyebrow but nodded. There was silence between them for a few minutes while Jess looked at all the pictures before the brunette spoke. "Well, what do you see?"

Jess looked up with an 'are you kidding me' expression. "It's ten after two in the morning…I should be seeing the inside of my eyelids."

Olivia grinned. "You asked to look at the crime scene photos."

"I'm not at the top of my game here," Jess said as she rolled her eyes. She gathered the photos and placed them on top of the files as she spoke. "Look, there has got to be something that these women have in common. Do they go to the same gym? Go to the same hair salon? Have the same doc…"

The brunette held up her hand, palms out as she cut Jess off. "Doctor? No, they don't. So far we haven't been able to find a single common thread. Two were on the same dating websites, but the rest weren't. They all go to different gyms. Only one is in therapy. Two have the same dentist, but we ruled that out like we did the dating website. None of them remember being followed or feeling 'creeped out'. No hang-up phone calls, weird mail, emails or strangers talking to them."

"If the perp is wearing face putty he might work in a cosmetic store that sells it. All of the victims were moderately wealthy. By the looks of the photos they liked nice things; nice clothing, nice furniture, nice shoes, Egyptian cotton sheets on the bed. Most women like to spend their money on clothing, shoes and make-up." Jess sat back on the couch and crossed her legs.

Olivia looked at her, slightly stunned. "If we asked the victims to look at the list of cosmetic stores they might all be able to pick out the same one."

Jess shrugged. "It's a thought. A lot of sales people ask you all kinds of personal questions as you check out. What's your phone number, email address, zip code? The high-end stores have more information."

The detective grabbed her note pad and pen off the coffee table and started writing. It was late and she was exhausted but she didn't want to forget anything she was thinking at that moment. Jess waited until she stopped writing. "It's not a lot to go on, Livie."

"It's a start. Let's go to bed."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two: So It Begins

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Monday December 11, 08:05**

Olivia strolled into the bullpen. As she passed her partner's desk he spoke to her. "You're late…again."

"Awww…yes, but today I bring a gift," she said over her shoulder as she set the box she was carrying down on the table with the coffee maker on it.

"What's in the box?" Munch asked, looking up from his paperwork.

Fin and Stabler got up and walked over to the box, and Olivia. "Doughnuts and pastries from…Moretti's Bakery," Fin said.

Munch raised his brow as he got up and walked over to them. "Someone went all-out this morning, didn't they?"

"You know, a simple 'thank you, Liv' would suffice. Instead I get called out on my tardiness from Elliot and I have to hear sarcasm from you, John."

"Thanks, Liv," Fin said, his mouth full.

"These pastries' are nothing more than a bribe, Liv, and you know it," Elliot said as he bit into a jelly doughnut.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I hope you choke on that 'bribe', partner."

Everyone sat back down at their desks. Olivia grabbed the case files out of her bag and handed them back to Munch and Fin. She kept the photos and arranged them on her and Elliot's desks. The men watched her in silence. When she was done she turned to all of them. "I think I may have figured out a common element between our victims."

This made all three men stand and look at the photos. They were of either the victim's bathrooms or bedrooms. Olivia pointed to each of the six pictures and pointed out either a tube of cream or a bottle of perfume in each photo. "Each one of these bottles or tubes is from the same exclusive cosmetic line. You can only buy the line in one store, on Fifth Avenue, called Shea It Isn't So."

Cragen weighed in. He was pretty sure none of his detectives had heard him come up behind them. "Does the store sell face putty?"

The detective's wheeled around to come face-to-face with their Captain. Olivia nodded her head. "From what I remember, yes. It's very high-end cosmetics store."

Elliot grind. "And _you_ were in it?"

Olivia glared at her partner. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He put his palms up in retreat, immediately regretting having said anything. "I'm sorry."

"Benson, Stabler, take a ride over to Shea It Isn't So and check it out. If it looks promising let me know. Munch, Fin get back to the theater companies."

The detectives grabbed their coats and started their assignments.

It was eight-forty-five in the morning and traffic was a nightmare. They had been in the car for almost 20 minutes and had said nothing to each other. Elliot looked out the windshield from the driver's seat of the sedan. "I really am sorry about that crack I made back in the squad room."

Olivia also stared out the windshield. "It's fine."

Stabler looked at her. "No, it's not. I didn't mean that you wouldn't buy makeup from a nice place. I mean…I guess that's what I was implying…but I know it's not true. I mean you always look good…and uh…"

His partner looked at him with a bewildered look on her face. "Thanks, El. I meant what I said though, it's fine." She glanced back through the windshield. "I over-reacted. You're right about the doughnuts. They were a bribe. I need you to drop me off at Alex's office today around 5 o'clock."

Elliot was surprised at the request. "Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?"

Olivia looked back at her partner. "Alex is prepping Jess for her testimony later this week in the case against Brain Nudds. Apparently it isn't going well. Today is the first time Jess is going to be prepped anywhere but at home. Plus, she hasn't told her account of what happened that night to anyone but Alex."

"I thought Alex was second chair in the case? Why isn't Steele prepping Jess?"

The brunette raised her brow. "You know Jim Steele is first chair in the case?"

He nodded.

"How do you know that?"

"Liv, Jess is like my daughter. Do you honestly think I wouldn't concern myself with something as important as the trial she is testifying in?" He looked back to the road and moved the car forward.

She continued to look at her partner. "No, it's just that we haven't discussed it, at all. You took it upon yourself to find all this out?"

He shrugged as he stared forward. "Yeah." He turned to her after stopping the car at a red light. "I'm not sure if you know this but I am a _detective._"

Olivia grinned and rolled her eyes. "Asshole."

The detective smiled back at her. "Yes, but I'm your asshole." His smile disappeared. "So Jessie isn't doing well, huh? Is Cabot gonna put her on the stand anyway?"

His partner shifted slightly in the passenger seat. "Alex doesn't really have much of a choice. Jess is the only living victim."

Elliot looked back at the road and inched the sedan ahead as the light turned green. "Is Cabot pushing Jess?"

"No, that's sort of the problem." Olivia looked ahead. "Can I tell you something that you can't repeat, no matter what?"

He knew better than to look at his partner. Confessions were always better said to someone one who wasn't making eye contact with you. "Of course."

"Al isn't pushing Jess at all. She claims she can't. She told me last night that if Jess were any other victim she would have already pushed her, hard. At this point Jess isn't even using the proper terminology when it comes to describing her attack."

Elliot stopped the car behind a long line of others in the bumper-to-bumper traffic. He leveled a look at Olivia. "Are you kidding me? What is Alex thinking? Steele should be prepping Jess then. Liv, I can't believe you are letting his happen?"

"Whoa! I didn't know it was happening! Now that I do I'm putting an end to it tonight."

"Cabot shouldn't be trying the case at all."

"She thinks she can handle it."

"Well, it's obvious that she can't."

"Hey, easy there quick draw. You don't know that. She wants to see Nudds get life without parole for what he's done. Have you forgotten that Nudds attacked Alex as well?"

"Have _you_? McCoy should have never let her try the case; she was one of the defendant's victims for Christ sakes!"

While Olivia knew that in fact the attack had happened before her eyes, she had actually never talked to Alex about the fact that she was attacked. Alex was a _victim_. The kissing that Jess and Alex shared on each other's neck, on top of the scar left on each by Brian Nudds was a coping mechanism. It was something that they did to each other to acknowledge that they had survived the attack of Nudds. _How had she never picked up on that_? She turned to her partner, who was concentrating on driving now. "Alex is doing the best she can. Don't judge her."

Elliot pulled the sedan to the curb in front of the cosmetic store. He threw it into park and turned slightly to Olivia. "Look, I'm not trying to judge her. I'm just pointing out that she might be too emotionally invested in this case to try it to the best of her ability. If Jess tanks on the stand Alex will never forgive herself. Think about that."

"I have thought about it. I told you, I'm going to work it all out tonight." Olivia looked over at the store and then back to her partner. "How do you wanna play this?"

He admired her commitment to everything in her life. "Cool. If our perp is in there we don't want to spook him into thinking we are on to him."

Olivia nodded. "We can go with fraud? Ask to see the manager, tell them the truth, provided they don't look anything like our perp and get an employee list from them?"

Elliot nodded and they got out of the car.

**720 5****th**** Avenue**

**Shea It Isn't So**

**Monday December 11, 09:08**

The detectives walked into the store and up to the counter where the cash register was. Olivia smiled at the woman behind the counter. "Hi, could we please speak to the manager?"

"Is there a problem?" The woman asked.

"Oh, no. It's just that I want to special order something for my lovely wife here and I would like to speak to the manager about it." Elliot smiled, put his arm around his partner and held her close to his side. He looked down at her. "Isn't that right, dear?"

She looked up at him. The smile hadn't left Olivia's face, although her jaw had dropped ever so slightly. "That's right, darling." She put her arm around his back and hugged him. She looked back at the woman behind the counter. "He's such a prince."

The woman smiled back. "I'll go get Anastasia. Wait right here," and she went to the back of the store and knocked on a door.

"Asshole," Olivia hissed between clenched teeth, still with a smile on her face as she looked up at him.

"A minute ago I was a prince." A shit-eating grin plastered on his face as he looked down at her.

The woman called to them as she walked towards them. "Anastasia will see you."

"Great!" Elliot called as he turned slightly.

Before he could turn totally away from her Olivia turned into him, pinched one of his nipples between her thumb and index finger and twisted it. He pulled away from her and hissed at the pain. She turned to towards the woman coming from the back of the store. "Great, thanks so much," she said with a huge fake smile on her face and walked to the back of the store. Elliot caught up with her about two-thirds of the way there. He put his arm around her waist. "Was that really necessary?"

She shot him a half-smile. "Yes, _dear_…yes, it was."

Once they were inside the office, with the door closed the detectives identified themselves and filled the manager in.

"So what you are telling me is that you think that one of my employees is a rapist?" Anastasia asked.

"I realize that is a pretty difficult thing to hear. We aren't positive about it though. We were hoping you would provide us with a list of employees. It would make the investigation go a lot faster," Elliot said.

Anastasia put her elbows on her desk and placed her face in her hands for a moment. Then she looked across the desk at the detectives. "I just, I just can't believe this."

Olivia looked at the woman. "I know it's shocking, ma'am. If we could get a list of employees we could eliminate them as suspects. You could put all this behind you."

She nodded her head and moved to one of the desk drawers. She opened it, rummaged through it and pulled out a file. She handed it to Olivia. "Employee files for everyone."

Elliot looked at her. "Thank you. We need to keep this conversation between the three of us. You can't tell any of your employees we were here."

Anastasia nodded. The detectives stood up and left the office. They headed out of the store, into the sedan and back to the One-six.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Monday December 11, 10:10**

Elliot and Olivia stood in front of their desks and rifled through the contents of the file. They each pulled a stapled employee leaflet out of the pile. Stabler looked at his partner. "There are only two male employees. I have Cameron Lapierre."

"And I have Desean Allen. We should run their names through NCIC and see if either has a criminal record."

Olivia sat down and accessed the National Crime Information Center's database. She typed in Desean Allen's name and social security number first, then Cameron Lapierre's and started the search on both men.

Elliot sat down at his desk. "Maybe we should talk to the victims again. Show them the list of cosmetic stores and see if there are any others they have shopped at?"

The brunette leaned back in her chair. "That might not be a bad idea. This search could take awhile and might not lead to anything."

"What search?" Cragen asked as he walked by their desks.

"We went by Shea It Isn't So and got a list of employees from the manager," Elliot said, sitting up slightly.

Olivia looked from her partner to her Captain. "I'm running their names through NCIC right now."

Cragen nodded. "Good, in the meantime run down the rest of the stores on the list."

"Actually we were going to talk to the victims again. Have them take a look at the list and see if they all shopped at another store," Olivia said.

"Sounds good, let me know what you find." Cragen had started walking towards the hall when Olivia's computer made a noise. He stopped and turned around. Olivia looked at the screen. "We got a hit. Cameron Lapierre was arrested three years ago."

Elliot raised his brow. "For what?"

Olivia's jaw dropped slightly. "Rape."

Cragen sighed. "I'll call Fin and Munch back here."

**12:16**

Each of the detectives was back at his own desk. Cragen was leaning on Fin's. "One more time, from the top."

Munch looked at the Captain. "We called 'Shea It Isn't So' and the manager, Anastasia, confirmed that Lapierre will be in at 3 PM today for his shift. Benson will go undercover in the store. She'll buy something and see if Lapierre asks her for any personal information."

"What if he doesn't go for the bait? I don't exactly fit the profile?"

Fin looked at her. "What are you talking about? You told us earlier you've actually shopped at that store before."

Olivia raised her brow. "Yes I have, but I don't fit the profile of his victims. They were all between the ages of 25 and 35. I'm flattered guys, really, but come on."

Jess and Casey Novak walked into the squad room laughing. They stopped instantly and looked around. Jess looked at Cragen. "I'm sorry. We'll come back another time." The women turned and left the squad room.

Elliot looked at everyone. "Novak fits the profile."

Munch leveled a look at him. "Novak's also a reporter now."

"True, but if she was working with us maybe she'd be able to start making us look better in the papers. We've takin' a real shit kicking lately. Maybe she might be able to spin a couple of stories showing that we are doing everything we can to catch this guy," Stabler said.

Cragen looked at him. "That's a lotta maybes, Elliot."

Olivia looked around at everyone. "How long will it take to get an undercover officer that fits the profile?"

The Captain shrugged. "Couple of hours, maybe longer."

Fin looked at the Captain. "We don't really have that kind of time."

Cragen looked between Fin and Munch. "Well, it's your case. What do you wanna do?"

The partners looked at each other. They had been working together for ten years. Despite their ups and downs they knew each other quite well. Munch sighed. "_Maybe_ we should at least _ask_ Novak if she wants to do this before we just assume that she will."

Olivia got up and ran out of the squad room, down the stairs and out the front door of the One-six. She caught up to Jess and Casey on the steps. "Casey, we have a favor to ask you."

**Shea It Isn't So**

**720 5****th**** Avenue**

**Monday December 11, 15:25**

Benson, Stabler and a few TARU techs were in the back of a surveillance van. Cragen, Munch and Fin were in an unmarked sedan just down the street.

"The microphone Benson wired you with is on now. As you walk towards the store say something into it and we'll let you know if we can hear you through the IFB in your ear," a TARU tech said to Casey.

She nodded.

Stabler looked at her. "Fin is going into the store before you. If you need anything the code word is fabulous. If you say that word he will come straight to you."

She nodded again.

He squinted his eyes at her. "You sure you wanna do this?"

Casey nodded. "Absolutely."

Benson looked at her. "You remember the address Cragen gave you?"

"510 Madison Avenue, Penthouse suite."

Olivia smiled at her. "You ready?"

Casey smiled back. "Let's do this."

Benson opened the back door to the van and got out. Casey followed her. The detective brought the strawberry blonde to the side of the van. "Case, you're sure about this?"

Novak looked hard at the brunette. "I wanna nail this bastard."

"Going undercover is rough. If he takes the bait you're going to have to assume a new life for awhile. He's going to be watching you, stalking you," Olivia said, narrowing her eyes.

"Better he stalk me, with you as my back-up than another innocent woman with no back up."

Benson nodded. "Okay, what's your name and DOB?"

"Cyana Hildebrandt, June 2nd,1976."

Olivia winked at her and smiled slightly. "You're ready."

Casey smiled, nodded and walked around the van. Fin was already heading into the store. The strawberry blonde talked quietly. "Did you guys get all that?"

Stabler's calm voice radiated in her ear. "We got it. You're gonna do great, Case."

She crossed the street and walked into the store. Casey never made eye contact with Fin, but she made sure to locate him in her peripheral vision. She walked through the store, looking and picking up many bottles of perfume before she settled on one.

The manager of the store had described Lapierre as a white male, 6'2' with a slender build. The height and build matched with the suspect, but the colour didn't. However, face putty can be painted with cosmetics. The squad's assumption was that he was colouring it to throw the victims and the detectives off his trail.

Casey headed towards the register with the bottle of perfume. She saw Lapierre behind it finishing up with another customer. He smiled at the woman, handed her the items she had purchased in a bag; she turned and left the store. Casey was five feet from the counter when another employee joined the suspect behind the register. They exchanged words and then Lapierre left and the other employee stayed. The strawberry blonde wasn't sure what to do. What would be the point of buying the perfume if the suspect wasn't going to ring it up? She heard Fin's voice in her ear. "It's okay, keep going. Buy the perfume. You're Cyana Hildebrandt and you live in the penthouse at 510 Madison Avenue."

The reporter continued up to the counter. The employee smiled at her. "Will that be everything, _Miss_?"

Casey nodded. "Yes, thanks."

The perfume was scanned and the price came up. "You're total is $265.95. Will that be cash or charge?"

"Cash," Casey said with a smile on her face. She reached into the Kate Spade handbag she had over her shoulder and fished out a Coach clutch. She handed the employee 280 dollars. He had been hitting buttons on the computer that was the register. "Miss, could I ask you a couple of questions for an in-store draw?"

The strawberry blonde was shocked. To her credit she didn't even bat an eye. "Sure, what is the draw for?"

Desean Allen smiled at her. "We are giving away a free trip for two to St. Barts. It will only take a minute to get the information I need. I'm sure you and your boyfriend will have an amazing time if you win the trip."

Casey smiled back. The guy was trying to see if she had a boyfriend. "Oh, no boyfriend."

He nodded. "Girlfriend?"

She shook her head. "Nope, just me."

"Awww…now how is that possible?" He feigned flattery. "You're beautiful."

The reporter smiled and looked away for a minute, pretending to be embarrassed. "You're too kind."

"Well, I'm sure you will be able to find someone to go with you to St. Barts. Now, I just need your name, address and phone number where you can be reached if you win the trip."

"My name is Cyana Hildebrandt."

"Nice to meet you, Cyana."

"I live at 510 Madison Avenue. Penthouse."

Desean Allen cocked his right eyebrow. "I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding a guy to go to St. Barts with." He typed on the keyboard.

"You'd be surprised. Most men are threatened by wealth. My cell number is 212-555-9543."

"That's really too bad. I wouldn't be threatened by a woman's wealth." He finally rang in the money Casey had given him and handed her back the change.

She smiled at him. "I wish there were more men out there like you."

He smiled back at her as he handed her the perfume in a bag. "Thanks, Cyana. Enjoy the perfume."

"Thanks." Casey turned and left the store. Fin followed soon after her.

Everyone congregated in the surveillance van. Cragen spoke first. "Well, I guess Desean Allen is our suspect. What do we know about him?"

Munch looked around. "Not much considering he's only been our suspect for five minutes."

"Alright, so we called it wrong. At least we know who the suspect is now. Olivia and I can go back to the squad and find out all this guy's dirty secrets," Elliot said.

"Munch and I can stay here and follow Allen. He won't be getting' off shift until 9:30PM but if he rolls by the safe-house address we'll be on him," Fin said.

Cragen nodded. "Casey, you should go home and pack for a few days." He pulled a keycard pass and a silver key out of his pocket. "These are the keys to your place Cyana. Fin and Munch will be there until 11PM tonight. Then Benson and Stabler will take over. We'll work out a schedule tonight so that you are protected 24 hours a day."

Casey took the keys from Cragen and nodded. She turned away from them and de-wired herself. She handed the mic and battery pack to one of the two techs in the van. Everyone dispersed then. Casey went home and packed.

**One Hogan Place**

**Office of Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot**

**Monday December 11, 16:58**

"It was sweet of Richard to make sure you got here."

Jess smiled. "Yeah, I think he's scared I'm going to break apart into like a million pieces this week if he isn't_ right_ beside me."

The taller blonde smiled and hugged her daughter. "He's just worried about you."

There was a knock on the door but the person on the other side didn't wait for permission to come in. He just opened the door, walked through it and pulled it shut. "Alex, I want to go over…"

Alex looked a little bit like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar by her mother. "Uhh…Jim…this is Jess O'Malley." The pair stopped hugging.

Jim smiled awkwardly at Jess. He wasn't sure why Alex was hugging their only witness. He also wasn't sure why she had insisted on prepping Jessica O'Malley privately. "Hi, Jess." He extended his hand for her to shake. "I'm Jim Steele. Alex and I are working together on your case."

Jess pursed her lips and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you." Jim Steele was very tall, taller than Alex. He had dark hair and an old movie star look to him. Jess couldn't put her finger on why but she instantly felt uncomfortable being near him. She took a slight step back and took Alex's hand in hers.

The taller blonde squeezed the tiny hand in hers slightly as she looked at Steele. "Can we go over what you have later? I was about to prep Jess for her testimony."

Another knock interrupted the conversation.

Benson and Stabler got off the elevator and were surprised to see Richard Stabler standing there, waiting for the elevator.

"Hey son, whatta doing here?"

Richard nodded to them. "I was just making sure Jess got here." He shifted on his feet.

Olivia could tell there was something up with the kid. "I'm going to go see Jess. Have a good evening, Richard."

"You too, Olivia. They're in Alex's office."

She walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Richard looked at his father. "Can I ask you something?"

It was a very rare occasion that any of his kids ever asked him for advice. "Sure."

Richard's face twitched slightly, a sign that he was struggling with something. "Do you think I should go to court when Jess testifies?"

The detective sucked in some air. "Well, has Jess asked you to be there?"

He shook his head and looked at his father. "No. She asked me to stay away. Dad...I think…I think I'm losing her."

Elliot shook his head and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "No. No, son, you're not losing her." He motioned to a bench beside the elevators. "Here, sit down."

They sat on the bench and stared straight ahead. "Did Jess tell you what happened to her in the diner?"

Richard narrowed his eyes. "Yes."

"Did she use the terms fingers, thighs, penis…"

The young man lost his temper, turned to his father and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Shut up! You, shut up!" He pulled on Elliot's collar and yanked his father hard enough that the detective stood up. "Don't you ever say shit like that about Jess! You hear me?"

Elliot let his son's anger run its course. He calmly answered him. "Okay, Dickie. Okay, I won't. I'll never say anything like that again."

Hearing his boyhood name Richard snapped out of his rage. He let go of his father's shirt and stepped back.

The detective looked back at his son. "Jess doesn't want you to hear her testimony. She's not pushing you away because she wants to break up with you; she's doing it to stay with you." He extended his hand back to the bench. The two men sat down and faced forward. "There are some things that you just shouldn't hear, Richard, and Jess's account of her attack is one of them. It's going to be very detailed, very clinical. Once you hear something like that, you can't forget it. On some level, Jess knows that you can't un-ring a bell. By pushing you away from hearing her testimony she is saving your relationship."

Richard's eyes stung with tears that he wouldn't shed in front of his father. "She's scared, Dad. I don't want her to face Brian Nudds alone. I wanna be there, I wanna protect her."

Elliot sighed. "I know you do. I know you would do anything for Jess. But you have to respect what she wants. Olivia and Alex will be in court with her. She won't be alone."

"Will you be there?" He asked, looking over at his father.

He looked at son and shrugged. "I don't know. Jess hasn't asked me to be there, so probably not."

The younger man's eyes widened. "Be there. Please, Dad…you have to be in the courtroom. You have to protect her. I've never asked you for anything like this before. I'm begging you; please do me this one solid, just this one favor."

Elliot bit the side of his mouth. He couldn't sit there, lie to his son, and say yes. Richard would be standing outside the courtroom; he would know if Elliot was in the room or not. He also couldn't betray Jess by just showing up to hear her testimony. She'd never forgive him. "I will talk to Jess. If she says she wants me there then I will be. Otherwise, I'll be just outside the courtroom doors with you."

Richard sighed. His eyes were becoming redder. Elliot put his hand on his son's shoulder. "We're gonna get through this. Richard, you gotta believe me."

He nodded. He was afraid to speak.

The detective nodded. "Go home; kiss your mother goodnight for me. I got a detail tonight starting at 11."

"Come in," Alex called and Olivia walked through the door.

Having been a detective for years she read the temperature in the room. The man, who she assumed was Jim Steele appeared to be confused. Alex looked embarrassed and Jess looked on edge. _What exactly had she walked into?_

"Detective Olivia Benson, this is Jim Steele," Alex said.

Steele extended his hand. "Nice to meet you, detective. I heard you are Jess's legal guardian."

Olivia nodded and shook his hand. "Yes, I am." Apparently confusion was contagious because now she was just as perplexed as Jim was. He had only addressed her as Jess's guardian, never mentioning that she was Alex's girlfriend.

"So, Jim, we'll go over that stuff later. I'll come by when I'm done the prep," Alex said, trying to get him to leave her office.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could stay for the prep. I know you are going to be questioning Jess on the stand, but I would like to at least be a part of the prep," Jim said.

Jess tightened her grip on Alex's hand, although her facial expression never changed. Alex hadn't been completely honest with Jim about _how_ personally involved in the case she actually was. Given that she and Steele had been involved at one time, and that she had cheated with him on her ex-fiancé, Alex had felt that talking about her personal life with Jim was a bad idea. She also hadn't seen him in close to three years and it seemed as though he had changed a lot during that time. She wanted to stick to the facts of the case, nothing more. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be that easy. "Uh, Jim, I think there are going to be enough of us, now that Detective Benson is here. I'll talk to you about it after."

Jim furrowed his brow slightly. "Alex, I really think as first-chair I should be privy to at least one of the prep sessions of such an important witness."

Alex squared her shoulders slightly. "I'm handling the prep of this witness. There is no reason for you to be here."

He stepped closer his co-chair and lowered his voice. "Alex, she needs to be prepped with a man in the room. She's going to tank on the stand if her first encounter with a male while telling what happened to her is with her attacker."

"No, she won't. Jess will be fine. Don't you trust me?" Alex asked.

"This isn't about trust; it's about our witness breaking on the stand, in open court."

Jess had heard enough. "Stop it!" She let go of Alex's hand. "Stop talking about me like I'm not in the room!"

The lawyers looked at each other and then back at Jess.

"Jess, we're sorry…"

The shorter blonde cut the taller one off. "I'll prep with a man in the room."

Jim nodded his head. "Thanks you, Jess. I really am sorry…"

"Not you. I'm not explaining what happened to me in front of you." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, if not me then who?" Steele asked with a raised brow.

"Elliot." Jess nodded towards Olivia and Elliot who were standing side-by-side watching the kid they both loved stop the pissing match between the lawyers.

Jim's expression turned apologetic, although Jess didn't totally buy it. "Jess, I really am sorry for talking as if you weren't in the room. You should go over your testimony with people you trust. I'll see you in the courtroom." He nodded to everyone in the room and left.

Stabler walked over to Jess. He sat in the chair that was next to her and looked up at her. "You sure about this? I know you don't wanna prep in front of Jim, but that doesn't mean you have to in front of me."

"You saw me behind the counter at the diner. You handed me the blanket. You made the CSU team and all the Unies look away, so they wouldn't stare at me leaving the diner." Jess nodded at him. "I'm sure about this."

Olivia and Alex exchanged looks. The detective was down right pissed about what had happened in the last five minutes. The A.D.A. had to admit her girlfriend had every right to be.

Alex had Jess sit in her leather chair. The detectives and the A.D.A. sat on the other side of the desk. The taller blonde referred to a notepad she had picked up off her desk. "Jess, can you identify who attacked you on May 14th of this year?

"Yes. It was Brian Nudds."

"Was that the name you knew him by at the time?"

"No. He had introduced himself as Mitch Simpson."

"Can you please tell the court what Brian Nudds did to you in Tony's Diner on the night of May 14th?"

"I was washing the floor in the dining room area of the diner. I looked up and he was standing there, with a knife in his hand. He told me that he was looking for me...that I had to be taught. He came after me with the knife and I ran to the front door of the diner. I couldn't get it open. He pulled my hair." Jess's eyes started to glaze over slightly and she looked almost through the A.D.A. Her sentences became shorter and less detailed. Alex pulled her out of her own thoughts.

"Why couldn't you get the door open?"

Jess looked up and made eye contact with Alex. "It was locked. Tony, the owner, had locked it when he left to make the nightly deposit. Brian Nudds grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back to the counter. He, ummm…he bent me over the counter on my stomach. He held the knife in his hand to my throat. He said if I screamed he would cut me from ear to ear. Then he took his pants off. He pushed me harder onto the counter. He took the knife and cut my jeans and underwear off. He told me that he had waited a long time for this; that I needed to be taught. Then he..uuhhh…he licked my cheek. He pushed his crotch into my…uhhh…backside and rubbed it." Jess narrowed her eyes. She was having trouble looking at Alex as she re-told what had happened to her. "He uhhh…licked his fingers and ummm…rubbed them on me."

It wasn't detailed enough. Alex saw Olivia's stare out of her peripheral vision. She continued to look at Jess as she redirected her. "Where did he rub his fingers on you?"

The tiny blonde shifted in the chair but looked at Alex. "My thighs."

Alex nodded. "What did Brian Nudds do next?"

"He…uuhhh…" Jess looked down at the desk. "He ummm…"

The A.D.A. looked at her daughter. "Jess, look at me. Tell _me_ what happened next."

She looked up with tears in her eyes. "He rubbed his…uhhhh…_thing_ between my legs."

Olivia nudged her girlfriend's leg with her own. Alex pushed their daughter. "Jess, you can't refer to his penis as his _thing_. You have to use the correct terms for body parts."

Jess looked down at the desk. "He rubbed his…" she stared to cry.

Elliot wanted to vomit. Actually he wanted to drive to Sing Sing and kill Brian Nudds, and then he wanted to vomit. It was one thing to hear a victim he didn't know re-tell what happened to them. He listened to their accounts of what happened everyday. It was quite another to hear Jess tell her story. To hear about how she had been violated.

Olivia stepped in. "Jess, look at me."

The tiny blonde looked up with tears running down her now very pink cheeks. Olivia eyes were dark and soulful. "Say the word 'penis'."

Jess swallowed hard and visibly shook. "Penis."

"Say it again."

The teen shook her head, as more tears formed.

"Say 'penis'."

"No," she whispered, as the tears fell.

"Jessie, I'm not going to ask you again. Say 'penis'."

"He rubbed his penis between my legs!" Jess wailed. Tears streamed down her now red cheeks. "Are you happy? I said it! That pig put his penis between my legs! I _felt_ him. If Tony hadn't come in when he did Brian Nudds would have pushed inside me; he would have _raped_ me." She put her arms on the desk in front of her and buried her head in them. She was so ashamed, so embarrassed.

Alex moved to get up. She wanted to hold Jess until she stopped crying. Olivia put her hand on the older blonde's hand and held her in the chair. She looked at Elliot. He met his partner's eyes and knew what she was asking. He turned his gaze to the teenager he considered to be his youngest daughter. "Jess, look at me."

A muffled "No" was all he got.

"Kid," he used her nickname in an attempt to show her how much he loved her, "I'm very proud of you."

Jess sucked in some air at the sound of her nickname. She loved Elliot. She so badly wanted to look at him…but she couldn't. She wasn't sure she could ever look him in the eyes again. She was humiliated. "No, you're not. Stop lying. I'm damaged."

"You're not damaged. I know you feel that way, but you're not. Kid, I am proud of you. Telling us what happened to you, saying it out loud, is the hardest thing to do. There are some people who aren't as strong as you. Some people never work up the courage to say it out loud."

"I can't look at you, El. Please…just go away."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. He couldn't leave. He had to prove to her that they could deal with this, that she was strong enough. "Kid, I know you're embarrassed. I know you feel guilty and ashamed. I know you think that I will look at you differently now, that I will think you are dirty or damaged. I won't, I don't think those things. You're not dirty or damaged. Jessie, you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. You survived. I'm most proud of you for that. Please, Kid," he sighed and looked at her with understanding eyes. "Just look up at me. I promise it'll be okay."

The tears had stopped. Jess swallowed hard. "Swear it."

The detective put his hands on the desk. "I swear it, Kid."

She lifted her head slowly and looked directly into Elliot big blue eyes. What she found there wasn't disgust or shame. What she found was…acceptance. He smiled at her slightly. "This Sunday, my house, who can make the better stuffed chicken you or me; you in?" He cocked his head slightly to the right.

Her eyes lightened. "I'm in."

Alex looked at Jess. "You have to use the correct terms when you testify. Otherwise, I can't put you on the stand. Can you use them?"

She looked at the taller blonde and nodded. "Yes."

The A.D.A. raised her right eyebrow. "Do you want to testify?"

The tiny blonde looked at the three adults sitting in front of her. "Honestly, I didn't want to. The thought of seeing Brian Nudds terrifies me. The thought of having to tell so many people what he did to me is mortifying." She looked away from them. "I know you will all be in court with me, but ultimately I'm going to be up there all alone, explaining what happened to me. I really didn't think I could do it. I was so scared of what people would think of me." She looked back at the other people in the room. "But now…I don't care what they think." She looked down at the desk for a second and then back at the most important adults in her life. "I care what you think, how you see me. If the three of you can listen to me say what happened and still love me then that's all that matters to me."

Alex nodded. "We still have some things to go over. You up for it?"

Jess nodded.

They prepped for another 45 minutes. Once they were done it was decided that the ladies were going out for dinner before dropping Olivia off at the station to catch some shut eye in the crib before her detail started at 11PM. Alex had talked Jim Steele into meeting at her condo around 7PM to talk about the case. Elliot was going immediately to the station to catch up on some paper work before also trying to sleep for a couple of hours. As they walked out of Alex's office Olivia looked at Jess and Elliot. "We'll meet you at the elevator."

The pair nodded and left the office. Olivia closed the door behind them. She turned and glared at her girlfriend. "I'm not even sure where to begin…"

Alex took off her glasses and put her hands, palms up, out in front of her. "I know, I haven't been completely honest about some things."

The brunette raised her brow. "A _lot _of things. For starters, if Steele ever talks to _my_ daughter or acts like that again I'll have him thrown off this case myself..and don't think that I won't."

"She's my daughter, too," Alex said crossing her arms over her chest.

Olivia stepped closer to Alex, anger in her eyes. "Oh really? I didn't see you standing up for her with Steele. I didn't hear you refer to her as_ your_ daughter."

"Jim doesn't know the specifics of how _personal_ this case is for me." Alex squared her shoulders.

The detective snickered and shook her head. "Well, maybe you should fill him in on the _specifics_. Like how Jess is _your _daughter. Or how about the fact that _I_ am your _girlfriend_."

Alex lost her composure. She pointed at Olivia and then to herself. "This isn't about _you_ and _me_. This is about Jess and the case against Brian Nudds."

The brunette narrowed her eyes. "Is it Alex, is that really all _this _is about? Or are you embarrassed that _you_ have a daughter, a family a life with a _woman_?"

"My life, with you and Jess, has nothing to do with this case or Jim. It's none of his business."

Olivia's jaw dropped. "Oh my God…that's it, isn't it? You're embarrassed of me, of our life?"

"Stop saying that, Olivia! That's not true."

The detective became cold as she narrowed her eyes. "I think it is true. You have no problem showing up at the squad, after hours, and showing me, and the guys for that matter, that we are together. But here," Olivia gestured around the office, "in your perfect world, in your expensive office, with your lawyer co-workers _I _don't fit. _Jess_ and _I _don't fit, do we? You don't even have the balls to tell Steele about us." A disgusted smile seared the detective's face as she stepped in Alex's personal space. "You're too ashamed to tell your ex-boyfriend that you make love to a woman."

Alex took Olivia's upper arms in her hands. "That's not what is going on here," she seethed through clenched teeth, "and you know it. What would you like me to do? Kiss you in front of Jim? Would that prove to you that I'm not ashamed of you?" Alex narrowed her eyes. "Or would you like me to _fuck_ you in front of him? Would that convince you that I love you?"

The brunette shook herself free of Alex's grip. "Why won't you tell him about your life with me and Jess?"

"Jim and I have to work together for a couple of weeks. He is someone from my past that I would like to keep in my past. I don't want to share the details of my life with him."

"If you didn't have a daughter and you had a boyfriend instead of me would you be saying the same thing?" Olivia asked with a raised brow.

Alex sighed. "I don't know, Liv. That isn't my life. My life is with you and Jess."

Olivia narrowed her eyes, not totally convinced that her girlfriend wasn't ashamed of their family. "Jess is waiting for us."

She turned, opened the door and left the room. Alex picked up her glasses and briefcase , followed her and shut the door.

**310 Central Park West**

**Meeting room off the lobby**

**Monday December 11, 19:03**

Jim put two briefcases down on the table in the middle of the room. "You know, Alex, I thought when you said we could work at your place that we would actually be in your place."

The blonde had an apologetic look on her face. "I know. I'm sorry, Jim." She shook her head. "My place is a mess, and I can't work there when it's like that." She set her briefcase on the table.

He shrugged his trench coat off and threw it neatly on a chair beside him. "Really? I always remember your place being so neat." He walked towards her, ending in her personal space. "Nothing ever out of place." He brushed some of her long blonde hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Just like you."

There was something about him, something she couldn't pinpoint but always made her lose her mind. She inhaled his cologne. After all these years he still smelled the same; it was one of the only things that seemed to have remained the same with him. It made her close her eyes for a moment. _Olivia_. Her eyes shot open. "Yeah well…what can I say?" She took at step back. "I'm a different person than I use to be." She turned opened her briefcase. "Let's get started."

Jim wasn't totally convinced Alex was a different person than when he had last seen her over three years ago. He had been made Bureau Chief then and had been transferred to Brooklyn. He wished things had ended differently between them. Shortly after Jim was transferred he heard that Alex had broken off her engagement with her fiancé, Richard. He had intended on calling her, taking her out for drinks. He wanted to win her back. Jim wanted to show her that they could have a life together. He missed her. _Maybe she missed him too? She didn't exactly push him away just now._ He decided to drop it for the night and concentrate on the case.

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Tuesday December 12, 03:46**

Olivia got back into the driver's seat of the unmarked sedan. She handed her partner his cup of coffee. He took it and looked at her. "You did a good thing with Jess today. You know that, right?"

She held her cup of coffee between her hands, warming them. She wouldn't look at Elliot. "I did what had to be done. Jess needed to say it; she needed to explain what happened using the correct words."

"Yeah, but, knowing that and actually forcing her to do it are two totally different things, Liv. I know you know that."

The brunette sipped at her coffee and swallowed. "Yeah, I know that."

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. His partner was struggling with something, he just couldn't figure out what it was. "You feel guilty about that?"

She turned to him. "It was for her own good."

"I know that, but that's not what I asked. Something's bothering you, Olivia. We've been sitting her for almost five hours and you've barely said anything. You wanna play 20 questions or you wanna just tell me what's going on?"

Olivia inhaled and held her breath. "I feel horrible about what I did to Jess." She exhaled and looked away from Elliot as she spoke. "It was like she was attacked all over again." She looked at her partner. "Except this time I felt like I was doing it to her."

He shook his head. "You had to take her there. You know you did. It should have been Alex but she couldn't do it."

The detective snickered. "What does that say about me? That I could do that to my own child."

Elliot looked at her. "It says that you are a good parent, who loves her daughter. It says that you are willing to help her at any cost." Olivia turned and looked away from him. He shifted towards her in his seat. "Hey, look at me." He set his coffee cup on the dashboard and put his hand on her shoulder. "Look at me."

She turned. "Jessie has one shot on the stand; one shot to face her attacker. Do you really think she was prepared for that before today?" Olivia didn't answer. "Do you?" Elliot pressed.

"No"

"That's right." He narrowed his eyes at his partner. "She's stronger now. She has the right tools to say the correct words. She believes in herself. When she sees Brian Nudds in that courtroom she's going to have courage. _You_ gave her that, Liv. You got her to say what she needed to. You pushed her as hard as she needed to be pushed to show her that she had the strength to do this."

"You caught her after I pushed her over the edge." Olivia's eyes welled up with tears.

He shook his head. "No, no…that's not what happened. You knew that if Jess could sit up and look me in the eyes then she would be able to look at anyone else after telling them what had happened to her. You looked at me, Olivia. You asked me to coax her back to us."

Olivia shook her head; a tear fell down her cheek. "I never _said_ anything to you."

"Don't be an _asshole_." He grinned as he used her pet-name for him. He took his hand off her shoulder and pointed at her. "You _looked_ at me. I know all your looks, lady."

The detective smiled through her tears. "Oh you think so, huh?"

He put his hand down. "You're like an open book to me, _sweetheart_." He had made her smile; it was the first one he had seen from his partner all night. "You knew Jess would respond best if I talked to her. It takes a real parent to know their kid that well; to be able to lay it all on the line for their child's best interest like you did with Jess today."

She wiped the tears off her cheeks. "She wants you in court when she testifies."

"Jess never asked me to be in court."

The brunette opened her eyes wide for a second, trying to clear them of tears. "Well, she's going to. What are you going to say?"

Elliot sucked in his bottom lip for a moment. "Dickie's worried about Jess. He asked me if he should show up in the courtroom when she testifies."

Her jaw dropped slightly. "Tell me you told him not to."

"I told him that it would be a bad idea," Elliot nodded. "We talked about it and he asked me to be in the courtroom when Jess testifies."

"What did you tell him?"

The detective raised his brow. "I told him that unless Jess asks me to be in the courtroom I'd be outside with him, in the hall."

Olivia raised her brow. "Are you going to be in the courtroom with Jess or outside with Richard?"

He shrugged. "If they both want me in that courtroom then that's where I'll be."

The brunette sighed. "Those two have been through the ringer."

"Dickie would do anything for her. I've never seen him fight so hard, care so much for anything or anyone."

Olivia gave a half-smile. "Jess loves him. She feels comfortable enough with him to sleep with him."

Her partner narrowed his eyes. "You caught them in the act?"

"No! God, no. I really hope I never do," Olivia said with a disgusted face. "The other night, I went into Jess's room when Alex and I got home from our date. I just wanted to…I don't I guess I just wanted to see her," she said with a loving smile on her face. The smile faded as she cocked her right eyebrow and she looked at her partner. "I opened the door and she was lying in bed. Richard was lying beside her, with his arm over her."

Elliot narrowed his eyes again. "We told them not to sleep together."

"I know. It's really weird though. When I saw them I should have been pissed, right? Should have woken them up, pulled Dickie into the spare bedroom, right? I couldn't do it. I wasn't even angry that they had disobeyed me. They looked peaceful, El. I want that for them."

"Olivia, they are teenagers! They have their whole lives to be peaceful. As long as they are living under our roofs they play by our rules."

"I know, I know…you're right." She gave Elliot a half smile. "They are pretty cute, though, don't you think?"

He rolled his eyes and then looked at her sincerely. "They are very good for each other."

**Captain Cragen's office**

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Tuesday December 12, 14:35**

"Okay kids, what's the game plan?" Cragen asked.

Fin looked at him. "We are going to have uniformed officers sit on the safe-house with Novak from the time she gets in at night until the morning, in case Allen shows up."

Stabler nodded. "We have a copy of Allen's schedule from the manager of the store. He's working an afternoon shift today; he gets off work around 9:30PM. However, on Wednesday and Thursday he is working a day shift. He'll be getting off work around 4PM. He has Friday off."

"We are thinking that he will try staking out the safe-house on Wednesday and Thursday. Look for Novak; figure out what time she normally gets home. He always grabs his victims on their way home, usually a block or less away from their residence," Munch said.

Cragen furrowed his brow. "How do we know he'll move that quickly? Most stalkers like to spend time getting to know their victims. We told Casey to take a light load at work for at least two weeks."

Benson looked at the Captain. "We spoke with each of the victims. They all gave the same time line. Each one remembered shopping at Shea It Isn't So about five days before they were attacked. All six remember being asked to enter a draw for a free vacation to St. Barts. They all entered it. We put a picture of Desean Allen in a photo array; they all picked him out of the line-up as the employee that entered them into the draw for the trip. "

The Captain narrowed his eyes. "None of them thought to mention that when we asked them about people asking them questions or strangers talking to them?"

Fin shrugged. "That's the thing about this guy's game. No one thinks twice about giving out their information for a free trip. Plus, no one really thinks they're gonna win either, so they never think about it again. The victims didn't mention it because they legitimately didn't think it was important."

Cragen cocked his head. "Gonna make me think twice about entering the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. Could any of the victims ID Desean Allen as their attacker?"

Stabler shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. None of them said they could say for sure just from the picture that Allen was their attacker."

"We asked them if he spoke would they remember his voice." Olivia shrugged. "They all said they would try if we put him in a line-up."

Cabot raised her voice. "We can't put Allen in a voice line-up if we're not sure the victims will recognize his voice."

Benson narrowed her eyes at the A.D.A. "They will remember. He grabbed them and raped them in their own beds. Each victim gave a detailed description to our sketch artist. They will pick him out, trust me."

The blonde crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't say for sure that the victims will be able to pick Allen out of a voice line-up. I'm not going to take the chance that they can't ID him. His lawyer will turn it around and use that in court as leverage. Each of the victims did give a detailed description of their attacker. Unfortunately when they were given a picture of him they couldn't ID him as such. That's already a strike against us in court."

Olivia's jaw dropped. "Oh, so now it's the victims' fault you have to work to get a conviction? The DA's office only prosecuting cases that are slam-dunks these days?"

Cabot lost her composure in front of the SVU squad. "It's not the victims' fault, detective. It's yours for not investigating harder in the first place! There is a pattern that everyone in this squad missed!"

"Back off, Alex. We did the best we could," Munch said.

"Your best wasn't good enough this time."

Stabler squinted his eyes at the A.D.A. and crossed his arms. "You know, you have some nerve, Alex! We have been busting our asses workin' this case! We have a suspect, we established a time-line for his attacks and we have his next victim under surveillance. We just need you to make it stick in court and you act like we somehow blew your case for you."

Cabot narrowed her eyes at everyone in the office. "This department works for me, at my discretion. We don't have a case at all if we don't catch Allen in the act or the previous victims can't ID him. Bring me something useful to positively ID Desean Allen as our rapist and I will sell it in court."

Alex turned and walked out of the Cragen's office.

The Captain looked around the room. "How are we running surveillance?"

Fin looked at him. "We are gonna set up shop on Allen, just in case Novak doesn't end up being his next victim. We have two officers there now but Stabler and Benson are going over shortly to sit on him. Munch and I got him tomorrow."

Cragen nodded. "Good, let me know if anything comes up."

The detectives nodded and turned to leave. Cragen called to Benson. "Olivia, a moment of your time?"

She turned around and waited until everyone left then closed the door. Cragen put his hands on his waist. "You mind telling me what that pissing match was between you and Cabot?"

"Captain, she's blaming the victims for not being able to ID their rapist. She's blaming this squad for not catching on to Allen sooner. What was I supposed to do, just stand there and let her railroad everyone?"

"I'll admit that Cabot was outta line when it came to the victims ID, but she has a point about the squad. You both assured me that your personal lives would not interfere with your professional ones. Is that still true?"

Benson put her hands on her hips. "Uh yeah, that's still true."

Cragen raised his brow. "Then make me believe it, Detective."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three: Heartbreak **

**Across the street from Shea It Isn't So**

**Tuesday December 12, 17:46**

Silence had dominated the stakeout so far, something that was becoming a common denominator lately. Elliot knew the silence was about Alexandra Cabot. What he didn't know was how to bring it up without getting his balls cut off. He was on his second coffee in two hours and he was getting antsy. He cleared his throat. "Wanna talk about it?"

Olivia had been sitting in the passenger's seat, with her right elbow on the door and her head resting in her right hand. She had been watching the door of Shea It Isn't So. The detective had been enjoying the quiet of the stakeout. Olivia had a lot to think about. _What the hell was going on with Alex? Why was she acting the way she was? _Elliot had broken her train of thought by actually talking. She continued to stare out the window. "Not really."

He huffed. "Typical."

That further irritated the detective. She turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"This is what you do when something is bothering you; it's what EVERY woman does. They say nothing. You ask them what is wrong, they say nothing. You ask them if they wanna talk about it and they say no. I don't get it," Elliot said, with wide eyes.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I thought I was an open book to you?"

Stabler stared at her with an 'are you kidding' look on his face. "I'm a guy, guys say shit like that all the time. I have no idea what's wrong with you. I know it's about Cabot, but that's only because the two of you just went ten rounds in Cragen's office. So, we could sit here in silence for the next several hours, or you could just tell me what the hell is going on."

She wasn't sure what to do. Olivia had to vent, had to get how she felt off her chest. She and Alex needed to work through their issues before Jess found out there were issues. The detective looked at her partner. "Alex is ashamed of me, of our life together…of Jess." Olivia looked down in embarrassment.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about? She loves you both."

The brunette smiled sadly, with tears in her eyes. "I know she does, but she is ashamed of us." She sighed. "Alex never told Steele that Jess is her daughter, or at the very least that she lives with Alex. She also hasn't told him that I'm her girlfriend."

Elliot shifted slightly. "Maybe she doesn't want him to know because she thinks he doesn't deserve to know."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"She's only working with him for what, like three weeks? Maybe she doesn't want to tell him about her family?"

Benson's jaw dropped. "Elliot! They're friends! If she hasn't told her friend of many years about her family then she is ashamed of us."

"Are they friends?" Elliot asked, shaking his head. "How often do they see each other?"

She closed her eyes and opened them again. "I don't know. All I do know is this: they are longtime friends and she hasn't told him about me or Jess."

He looked hard at his partner. "Talk to Cabot. Ask her why."

"I did. She said she didn't want him involved her personal life."

"There you go. Liv, that's really all it is. I've known Fin and Munch for years and I tell them as little as possible about my family. Not because I'm ashamed of them, but because I just don't want them involved in my personal life."

"You're not friends with Fin and Munch. Alex and Steele are friends. It's different."

Elliot sighed. "It's really not that different. Look, this coffee is running right through me. I'll be back in five."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Fine, but we're not done, yet."

"Typical woman; couldn't get you to talk, now you won't shut up."

She gave him a half-smile. "This is your fault for expressing interest in the first place."

He opened the door, stepped out, but leaned back inside the car, a shit-eating grin on his face. "I won't make that mistake again." Elliot closed the door before she could say anything else. As she looked back at the front door of Shea It Isn't So, her phone rang. She grabbed it out of her coat pocket, knowing who the caller was before she even saw the caller ID. Guns 'n Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" emanated from the phone. She answered it. "Hello, my child"

"Sup?"

"Not much. Sup with you?"

"Nothin', coffee finally got to the old man, huh?"

Olivia smiled. "Yeah it did…wait." She furrowed her brow and looked around outside. "Where are you?"

The door opened to the back seat, behind the driver's seat, Jess got in the sedan and closed the door as she hung up her cell. "I'm right here." She smiled.

The detective turned in her seat and smiled. "Where did you come from?"

"Work."

"How did you know where I was?"

She pointed to her head and said sarcastically. "Not just a hat rack. I have my sources."

Olivia rolled her eyes, but continued to smile. "I miss you. I kissed you this morning when I got home."

The kid smiled. "I know, I felt it. Thanks for always doing that. I just…I don't know, I just need it. Please don't ever tell anyone."

She smiled sweetly. As tough as Jess acted, she still needed reassurance that she wasn't being abandoned. There was something about that reassurance that made the teen seem younger than she really was, almost more innocent than she really was. The fact that she was slightly embarrassed by it told Olivia that Jess continued to struggle with some issues from her past. "I won't. But look, you gotta get home. I'm on a stakeout for a while longer."

"Wait, before you kick me out, I wanna show you something." Jess rifled through her laptop bag and pulled out a pair of very square looking sunglasses. She handed them to Olivia. The detective took them but looked at the kid, "Sunglasses?"

Jess raised her brow. "Humor me, put them on."

Despite the darkness the brunette did and instantly knew why her daughter HAD to show her them. She grinned. "There are tiny mirrors at the edge of each of the lenses. You can see behind yourself."

"Sure can," Jess said, very proud of the glasses.

Olivia took them off, grinning but shook her head. "I just have one question…why?" She handed the kid back the glasses.

She put them on and looked at the older woman. "The question shouldn't always be why, Livie. Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself why not. Oh, P.S. your suspect is leaving the store." Jess nodded to the storefront.

The detective whorled around to see Desean Allen leaving the store. "Oh shit!" She grabbed her phone and started dialing Elliot's number. Allen turned back in the store for a moment, as if having been called back in by someone. Jess looked at Olivia; she still had the sunglasses on. "El won't get here in time. I'll play front and follow with you."

She looked at Allen in the doorway, but spoke to Jess. "How do you know about front and follow?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Fin taught me. We don't just talk about music, you know."

She sighed. "Fine, you're front. Go across the street."

The blonde smiled slightly, got out of the Crown Vic and crossed the street. Desean Allen left the store and headed north. Jess sped up her pace, and ended up having crossed the street about five paces ahead of Allen. Olivia was five behind him, on her phone.

Elliot put down the paper slightly, picked up his phone and answered it. He was immediately asked a question by his partner. "El, where are you?"

"I'm down the street at the coffee place."

"What is taking so long?"

He reddened slightly. "You _know_ what is taking so long."

"Well, pinch it off and get your ass back to the car."

"Why?"

"Our suspect left the store. I'm in foot pursuit."

Elliot threw the paper down on the floor of the bathroom stall he was in. "You're following him alone?"

"Oh, I have back-up. Get back to the sedan. It's unlocked and the keys are under the front seat. Call me when you get there. I'll give you our 20."

He looked confused. "Who's your back-up?"

"Jess and I are doing front and follow."

Elliot sighed. "I'll be right there." They disconnected.

The teen could see Desean Allen behind her, through the tiny mirrors on the edges of the sunglasses. It was dark out, so her vision in front of her wasn't great, given that she was wearing sunglass. She walked ahead of him until he turned west on East 59th Street. Jess crossed the street and tuned west as well. Olivia followed Allen around the corner. Jess called the detective on her cell. She picked it up. "Hello?" Olivia said casually.

Jess kept Allen in her peripheral vision across the street. "Just answer yes or no. Do you think he's headed for the subway?"

The brunette acted casual in case Allen could hear her. "Actually, yes, yes I do."

"You think he's headed to Casey's new digs?"

"Probably yes, but we'll have to play it by ear."

"If that's where we are headed, I'll let Elliot know. You called him right?"

"Yes I did, and, thanks, I really appreciate your help. Elliot is supposed to be calling me at some point. After I talk to him I'll call you later back."

"Got it. If I don't see you answer your phone before we hit the subway, I'll call the old man. Love you."

"You too, bye."

"Later, Livie."

They continued west. Elliot called as they hit Park Avenue. "Hello?"

Elliot spoke. "What's your 20?"

"Hey, you" she said casually "I'm actually on my way home; I'm at Park and 59th.

"I'm on my way."

"Uhhh…you know what? I think I'm gonna just catch the subway. Why don't you meet me at the condo?"

"You think Allen is gonna catch a local 6 north to the address Casey gave him."

"Yes, that sounds great. I'll see you there."

"I'm on my way. Take care of yourself and Jessie."

"I will. Bye."

They disconnected. Olivia looked at her phone; she had a new text message. "You stay close to him and play front. I'll hang back, play the follow. I'm going to bump into you while we are waiting for the train."

The detective texted Jess back. "Sounds good, be carful. DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY, KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!"

Allen went down the stairs to the subway once they hit Lexington Avenue. The women followed him down there. He paid and went through the turnstile. Olivia paid right behind him. Jess waited for two people to pay before she swiped her Metrocard and went though the turnstile. She fished out the novel she was reading from her laptop bag and held it in her hand. She had her ear buds in as she walked passed Allen. When the blonde came up to Olivia she bumped into her slightly and placed the book against the detective's stomach. She took the book. Jess looked up at her. "Oh, sorry."

Olivia feigned anger. "Watch where you're going, Kid."

Jess continued farther down the platform.

The train came and all three of them got on. Olivia pretended to read the book Jess had given her as she watched Allen. Jess pretended to play a video game on her iPhone as she watched Allen and Olivia. They continued the surveillance up to 86th street. Allen got off there; Olivia followed three people behind him, Jess left through a door farther down the train. They took the stairs up to street level and walked north on Lexington to East 87th street. Allen stopped across the street from the condo building where Casey was staying. He looked up at the building, and then around the area.

Elliot had parked across the street half a block from 510 Madison Avenue. He had called Cragen and the Captain had grabbed an unmarked sedan from the motor pool and met Elliot at the Madison Avenue condo. He was parked across the street from the detective. Allen and Olviia walked by the sedan Elliot was driving. Jess opened the passengers' door and got in the car. When Desean Allen stopped she kept her eyes on Olivia. Elliot looked at her. "Did Allen make you?"

She shook her head, but watched Olivia. "Not yet. We've been tailing him for awhile though."

He reached for the door handle with his left hand, while his right held that day's edition of The Post. "I'll take your spot, Cragen will take Olivia's. Casey isn't here right now. He's probably just scouting the address on his dinner break, and making sure it's legit. I can follow him back to the store; you and Liv should take the cars back and wait for us there." The detective narrowed his eyes. "I'm sending Olivia back here. Tell her what I told you." He pulled the handle and got out of the car. Elliot walked in front of the car and down the street, past his partner, winked at her and nodded back towards the car. She walked to the vehicle while he sat on a bench at the bus stop and opened the paper, under the streetlight where he could read.

Cragen got out of his car and left the keys inside. He stayed on the other side of the street and watched all the players. Allen had walked to the end of the street and was headed back, towards the detectives, the teen and the subway.

Olivia got in the driver's side of sedan. She looked at Jess who was watching Elliot. The teen spoke. "He wants us to take this car and the Crown Vic Cragen is driving back to the store and wait for them and Allen. He thinks Allen will make us if we go with them."

"He's probably right" Olivia scanned the area and located her boss across the street. You okay with driving back to the store?"

"I'm cool with driving. Allen and El are on their way back here," Jess said turning towards Olivia. She reached out to hug the detective. Olivia smiled and hugged her as Allen and Elliot walked past the car.

"You're good at this front and follow thing." Olivia said quietly into Jess's ear.

"I get by with a little help from my friends. Are they gone?" Jess smiled.

The detective was the only one that could see out as Jess had buried her face in Olivia's neck. "Yup, their past the car."

They let go of each other. "You drive his car. I'll grab Cragen's."

"Okay, see you soon."

"It's starting to get really cold. It's gonna snow soon. Be careful on the drive."

Jess nodded.

The detective put her hand on the door handle. She winked at Jess and opened the door. Jess stood on the seat and crawled across to the driver's seat. Olivia hustled across the street and only had to try one other car before she found the Crown Vic that had been left unlocked by her Captain. She and Jess pulled out and headed to Shea It Isn't So.

Allen walked back into the store. Elliot and Cragen got into the front seat of the sedan, parked across the street. Jess and Olivia were sitting in the backseat. She looked at them as they sat down. "Nice to see you both."

They looked back at her. Elliot spoke first. "You did well with front and follow. I'm impressed, Jessie."

Jess smiled. "Thanks, Livie. Fin is a great teacher."

"Fin taught you that?" Cragen asked.

She nodded.

Elliot raised his brow. "Well, you did a really good job. Thanks for having my partner's back, Kid."

The teen grinned. "Anytime, old man." She looked at the detectives. "Look, I would love to stick around on your stakeout but I have homework to do."

Olivia smiled. "Wait, I have a question for you. How do you know so much about this case? You've barely been in the squad room these last few weeks and I haven't talked about it at all with you."

Jess looked down and then back at her. "Cass and I are friends. I was there when you asked her for a favor. She and I talk everyday. I asked her to text me when she gets in at night, just so I know she is okay. Cass told me most of what I know. The address of where she is staying now." Jess nodded towards the store. "Where the perp works." She looked around at everyone in the car. "I'm not getting involved in the case; I just want to make sure Cass is okay."

"That's our job. We will keep her safe, Jessie, don't worry. Now, just because you had my back today doesn't mean you would be invited to stick around tonight anyway. Go home, directly home. I'm sure Alex will be there soon."

The blonde shook her head. "Ally texted me earlier. She and Jim are working late tonight."

"Okay, well make sure you eat dinner. I should be home before you go to sleep. I love you." Olivia tried to hide the fact that she was upset that Alex hadn't told her she was working late that night.

Jess hugged the brunette. "I love you, too." She sat back down and looked between the others. "Make sure you eat dinner. I don't care what you eat, just eat something." She shot Elliot a look. "No more coffee, old man."

Elliot reddened slightly and nodded. "Night, Kid."

She smiled. "Night, El." Jess got out of the car, put her ear buds in and walked to the subway.

Cragen looked at his detectives. "I'm having second thoughts about using Casey in this investigation."

"Me, too," Olivia and Elliot said in unison.

"In the moment is seemed like a good idea." Elliot shook his head. "Now is seems terrible."

Olivia sighed. "She's a civilian. I know she was our A.D.A. for years but that doesn't make her trained to know how to handle what we've asked her to."

"Let me talk to Munch, Fin and Novak. It seems like a pretty big jackpot we've put our old friend in. I want to make sure we're doing the right thing."

**Residence of Bureau Chief Jim Steele**

**358 6****th**** Street, Park Slope, Brooklyn**

**Tuesday December 11, 21:15**

Jim and Alex had grabbed dinner from a Thai place around the corner on their way to his place. The bureau chief lived in a slightly upscale brownstone, which was tastefully decorated. The pair had eaten dinner and were knee-deep in the prepping for the next thee days of the case. Actually they were at each other's throats on how to proceed with the next three days of the case.

"I don't think Jessica O'Malley will be strong enough to testify!" Jim argued as he grabbed two glasses from his bar and a bottle of whiskey.

"And I'm telling you she is! Out of the two of us, I would know!" Alex countered as she watched his back at the bar.

"The only reason you would know is because you wouldn't let me prep her at all. She is our only living witness and I haven't even sat down with her!" He dumped ice in both glasses from a bucket and filled the glasses half full with the dark liquid.

"She is a rape victim, whose attacker was a male. Do you really think it would have been a good idea for you to prep her?" Alex asked, her eyes wide as she took off her glasses.

He turned around with a glass in each hand and walked over to the couch Alex was sitting on. "You're not even listening to me! I said that I haven't even sat down with Jessica O'Malley not that I wanted to prep her!" He thrust the glass towards her.

Alex hated that he called Jess her by full name. She and Jim normally went ten rounds about a case, but this time things were different. Jim was different. He had always listened to her, trusted her. He wasn't doing that this time. His whole demeanor was different. She didn't want him anywhere near Jess. Alex sat back on the couch in Jim's living room for the first time in over two hours. She sighed. "I know Jess. I met her on the night of her attack and I have seen her from time to time since then," she lied. "I just thought it would be easier for her to tell her account of what happened to me, because she knows me." _Not a complete lie_.

The dark haired man stood behind the couch, directly behind Alex. "That may be true, but I still have a right to at least be present in a prep session. How can I evaluate if she is viable for the stand if I've never even sat down with her?"

Alex took at sip of the very expensive whiskey. "You always had impeccable taste when it came to whiskey."

He drank about half of the contents of his own glass, before sitting on a table behind him. Jim leaned down, beside Alex and whispered in her left ear, "I also had impeccable taste in women." Having felt his breath on her ear made the tiny hairs on it stand on end. It left Alex breathless. Her eyes shuttered closed. "_Had_?" she questioned.

"I _had_ the most exquisite woman on earth at one point and I let her get away." Jim licked her earlobe. He moved down to the tension cord on the left side of her neck. He sucked it and nibbled at. Alex shuddered. Jim climbed over the top of the couch. The blonde's eyes shot open. She set her drink down on top of the paperwork they had spread over the coffee table in front of the couch. When she tuned back Jim was already in her personal space.

"What are you doing? We're supposed to be discussing the case." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"We are discussing the case. I'm talking and like usual you aren't listening!"

"I am listening; you're just not making any sense. I am asking you to trust me about the viability of an SVU witness and you won't!"

He kissed her, he forced his tongue in her mouth, and she sucked the whiskey off it. He ended the kiss and started to undo her blouse. "How can I trust you if you're not being honest with me! You keep hiding our key witness from me!"

Alex lean forward and reached for the button on his pants. She undid it the zipper. Jim stood up and took his pants and boxers off in one tug. He stepped out of both, leaned over Alex and pulled her legs towards him, forcing her to lie down on her back. He pushed her knees up and forced her skirt up her thin thighs. "I'm _not_ hiding our key witness from you! Why are you second guessing me at every turn in this case! What's wrong with you?"

Jim slipped his hands under the blonde's skirt and roughly removed her panties. She spread her legs as far as the fabric on her skirt would allow. Alex grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him down to her. He looked into her eyes. "You're different now! I don't even know you anymore. But you smell exactly the same, Alex, feel exactly the same." He kissed her, pushed his tongue inside her mouth and explored. He undid the rest of the buttons on her blouse and grabbed at her breasts. He ran his hands over them and squeezed them. She felt exactly as she had years earlier. The blonde wrapped her legs around Jim's back and started to grind against crotch. He pushed an arm under the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. His penis brushed against her sex. She was already wet.

Jim broke the kiss, lifted the A.D.A. up and onto his crotch. He held her backside with one hand and the small of her back with the other. Alex had unwound her legs as she was pulled up and was now straddling Jim. "I don't know who you are anymore. I hate that you don't trust me. Just fuckin'…fuckin trust…" She ripped his shirt open and bit at his chest. They grinned against each other. The blonde wound her right arm around his neck, pulling herself up. As she lowered herself as she ground against his penis; they both moaned. Alex couldn't believe how easily they had slipped into their routine. This hadn't happened in years. They had one slip when she was engaged to Richard and had fallen back into this. He smelled the same, felt the same as he had years earlier. She wrapped her other arm around his neck, closed her eyes and inhaled his scent.

He leaned over and bit at her neck. He gripped her backside tighter as their already hurried pace quickened. He wanted more; he wanted to be inside of her. "Fuck me, Alex. Fuck me, Counselor."

The blonde's eyes shot open. _What was she doing? WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING? _Alex stopped and pushed off Jim altogether. He pulled her back to him, but she protested. "No, Jim…no." He grabbed her wrists and pulled her onto him. "NO! Jim, I mean it, stop." She pulled her arms away from his grip.

"Awww…come on, Alexandra. This is our game…remember?" He said, smiling as he grabbed for her torso.

She pushed off the couch and pushed her skirt down. "Not anymore." She buttoned her blouse back up.

Jim looked back at her, confused. "Alex, what is going on here? The other day in the meeting room at your condo I felt something. And then today, with the whiskey comment. Jesus, Alex, a second ago I could have slipped inside you. What the hell?"

The A.D.A. finished with her blouse and was scanning the room for her coat and panties. She saw it draped over another chair and her thong on the floor. She grabbed them both. "I know, Jim. This is my fault," she said avoiding eye contact. He stood and put his boxers on quickly. He wanted to stop her from leaving; he needed to.

"Stop, Alex…just stop and let's discuss this," Jim said as he went over to her.

She had her coat and glasses on and was packing up her brief case. "I can't do this, I don't want _this_."

He held her around the waist. "Really? Because a minute ago you were riding _this_ pretty hard." He pulled her closer to him.

Alex pushed away and finally looked up into his dark eyes.. "Enough! Jim, seriously, stop. What just happened was a mistake. I'm sorry I led you on. I'm sorry it got so out of control."

"Look, if this is some weird work thing, we're only going to be working together for another week. Alex, we'll be free then. Please, just stay tonight."

The blonde closed her briefcase as she looked at the Bureau Chief. "I'm with someone. I love them."

Jim's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"

She shook her head.

"You can't be happy with him. Otherwise, why would you want to fuck me?" he said with a snicker.

"I love her, Jim. I am happy. We have a family."

His eyes narrowed. "She? Family? Alexandra…really? You're kidding me."

Tears filled Alex eyes. "Olivia Benson is my girlfriend. Jessica O'Malley is her daughter and they live with me."

Jim burst out laughing. He stopped suddenly and leveled a disgusted look at his colleague. "If you don't want to fuck _me_ you could have just said so. There was no need to concoct such a ridiculous story."

"I'm not lying. Olivia and Jess are my family. Why do you think Jack had you co-chair this case?" Alex narrowed her eyes.

"Jack had me co-chair because you were one of Brian Nudds's victims. He held you hostage on the steps of One Hogan Place, remember?"

_How could she forget?_ She had the constant reminder of the pink scar that the slash he had given her had left. Every time she looked in the mirror that's all she saw. "That's not the only reason. When Olivia and Jess moved in with me I sat down with McCoy, full disclosure. He had me type up a formal letter acknowledging my relationship with Olivia and that if _he_ felt there was a conflict of interest with me prosecuting a case that Olivia worked Jack would pull me off. He felt that I was too close to certain aspects of this case, mostly, that I live with the only living victim from that night at the diner."

Jim shook his head. "So…what…you and Benson sleep together? You help her daughter with her homework? The three of you sit down at the dinner table together and talk about your day? Is that it?" He snickered. "That's quite the little 21st century family you have there, Alex. You, your lesbian cop girlfriend and her bastard daughter. Tell me, does Jessica know her_ father_ nearly raped her that night in the diner?"

Alex narrowed her eyes and slapped him across the face. "Don't you dare talk about them like that. You have no right to speak that way, about anyone. Jess doesn't know that Brian Nudds is her father, and that is the way it is going to stay. What happened here, tonight, was a mistake, Jim. You and I are _never_ going to happen. We are going to get through the next week and then I never want to see you again. You make me sick." She turned and left the brownstone. She went out to her SUV and headed home. It took her twice as long as it should have; the snow had started and was coming down hard.

When she walked into her condo it was late. Both women that she loved were already sleeping. Alex took her shoes and coat off and dropped her briefcase on the coffee table in the living room on her way to Jess's bedroom door. It was slightly ajar. The tall blonde pushed the door open wider and walked in. She padded silently over to the sleeping teenager. Jess was lying on her stomach, with her arms around her pillow. She was wearing a spaghetti strapped tank-top, the rest of her was covered by the duvet. She gently stroked the blonde curls that started on the top of Jess's head and ran down her back. Alex started to cry. She did it silently. Tears flooded out of her eyes, some landing on her cheeks and some falling directly down onto Jess. She didn't realize this was happening until the young woman stirred. Her eyes fluttered open and she immediately felt someone standing beside her. Jess moved slowly. She wasn't scared; she knew who it was. The teen wiped the wet tears off of her face with her hand as she moved and perched herself on her elbow. As she came out of sleep she looked up. "Ally? Whatsamatter?" It had mostly come out as one word. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Nothing, sweetheart. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep," Alex said as calmly as she could. She also tried to stop crying.

Jess took Alex's right hand in her left. The teen rolled onto her back and pulled the older woman's hand with her. She placed it on her heart and held it there with her own hand. She continued to look up at Alex with sleepy eyes. "It's okay. Don't cry, Ally. Lie with me."

Alex knelt down beside the bed. She stroke Jess's forehead with her free hand. "It's okay. I'm fine, Jessie. Go back to sleep, baby," She cooed.

The girl's eyes fluttered shut. The corners of her mouth tugged up in a small sleepy smile. "Love you, Ally." The A.D.A. continued to stroke the kid's forehead for while. "I love you, too." When Jess's breathing became deeper, her head had fallen slightly to the right and her hand had loosened its hold on Alex's. The taller woman started to cry again. "I'm sorry, my little girl. I'm so sorry," She whispered. Alex gently took her hand off of Jess's heart, stood and walked out of the bedroom. She walked down the hall and into her own. She looked at her detective, lying on her side sleeping soundly. Alex sobbed. _What had she done?_

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**310 Central Park West**

**Wednesday December 12, 06:55**

Jess woke suddenly and sat straight up in bed. _Ally. She had come into her room the night before. She had been crying._ Jess jumped out of bed, ran out of her room and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of the A.D.A's briefcase on the coffee table. Alex had clutched the leather case as if it was filled with gold. The teen knew that the lawyer hadn't wanted her to see the contents of the briefcase. Alex had tried to shield her from many of the details of the case she was trying right now. Almost everyone involved in the case had kept her away from the facts of the case that didn't directly pertain to her. Jess narrowed her eyes at the leather briefcase. This was her chance to read everything she wanted to know about the case, _her_ case. Selfishly she turned, walked into the kitchen and started Olivia's iPod in the dock. Music emanated softly from it. Loud enough that Jess could say she had been in the kitchen starting breakfast, but soft enough that she would be able to hear the bedroom door of the women who were raising her if opened it. The teen went back to the living room, rolled the numbers on the lock to the correct combination and opened the briefcase. All the files were there. The blonde opened up the first one and started to skim the pages inside.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open. Alex was sitting at the other end of the bed, watching her. The detective smiled lazily. "Morning."

The blonde hadn't slept very much. She had to tell Olivia what had happened, but it meant the end of their relationship. She had cheated on her detective. Alex spoke in monotone and couldn't look at her. "Olivia, I uhh…I need to tell you something."

Hearing the tone and seeing the absolute nothingness in her girlfriend's eyes shocked Olivia out of sleep. She sat up, concern etched on her face. "Alex, what happened? What's wrong?"

_How could she say it? How could she actually tell Olivia?_ Alex's swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm so sorry." Tears fell down her cheeks. The detective crawled over to the blonde. She held her face in her hands. "Al, please tell me what happened."

Alex looked into Olivia's dark brown concern-stricken eyes. "I ummm…I made out with someone else."

At first Olivia wasn't sure she had heard the blonde correctly. Her jaw fell open in shock as she removed her hands from the A.D.A's face. "What?"

The taller woman closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them again. "Please don't make me say it again."

So she had heard Alex correctly. She had made out someone else. Olivia backed away from her girlfriend. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I don't know. I didn't mean too, I didn't even want to," Alex said as she tried to fumble through an explanation.

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "It was Steele, wasn't it?"

The A.D.A.'s jaw dropped at the bang on guess. She nodded her head.

Having been the partner of the poster boy for anger management Olivia had learned over the years to control her rage. She usually needed to on a regular basis, given that only one of the partners could lose their mind at a time. Through clenched teeth she glared at her soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. "Was it worth it, huh? Was it worth losing me and Jess over?"

Alex started to cry harder. "No…Olivia please, don't leave me. Please don't go." She reached for her detective, wanting to hold her and make her understand how sorry she was. Olivia got out of the bed. She looked at the blonde with disgust. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me. You lost that privilege. Answer me, was it worth it?"

She shook her head. "No. Olivia please, just listen to me. I never meant for it to happen. I love you, please don't leave."

"You have got to be kidding me," Olivia said as she shook her head. "What are you going to tell Jess, huh? That you threw our family away so that you could spread your legs for that prick, Steele?"

The blonde pleaded with her. "I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you and Jess. Olivia, please…I need you and Jess. I don't want to be with Jim. I never did. I want you. I want Jess. I want our family."

Olivia pointed at her. "You lost that chance when you screwed around with Jim Steele. What were you thinking? Did you think about Jessie at all? How this was going to affect her? I mean aside from the fact that she is supposed to testify against her attacker tomorrow."

"No, I wasn't thinking," she said, gesturing with her hands out in front of her. "I told you that. If I had thought for even just half a second I never would have done this. I never wanted to hurt you or Jess. Olivia please…you have to believe me."

The brunette scoffed. "Believe you? Alex, how the hell am I supposed to believe anything that comes out of your mouth? When you hurt me you also hurt Jess. She is shaky at best when it comes to her testimony. How could you do this to her? How could you rip her family apart like this?"

"I know, Olivia. I know. I have fucked up badly here. I don't know what to say to Jess. I love her so much. I never meant for any of this to happen. I will tell her what happened and maybe one day she will forgive me," Alex said as tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

"Forgive you? Alex, do you really think Jess will forgive you? Do you really think you even have a right to ask that of her?" Olivia shook her head and then narrowed her eyes. She couldn't process all of this so quickly. All she knew for sure was that she couldn't stay in Alex's condo one more day. "I will tell Jess to pack a bag today, when she gets home from work. We are not staying here another night. I'll hirer movers to bring the rest of our stuff."

Alex pleaded harder. She even walked towards her. "No, don't go. Please, Olivia, I'll do anything. Just please don't leave. I'll move out."

The detective's jaw dropped slightly as her eyes widened. "If you think my daughter and I are going to live under your roof one more day, you have another thing coming. Jess and I will pack some things tonight and leave. I don't want you anywhere near her. Do you hear me?" Olivia had finally lost her composure. The A.D.A. tried to grab the shorter woman's arm. The detective pulled away before contact was made. She leveled an absolutely horrified look at Alex. "I mean it. Stay away from me and my daughter." Olivia turned, went to the door, opened it and walked down the hall. When she got to the living room and stopped. She put her hand to her mouth and screamed.

Jess had got through the first file. She didn't realize that the DA's office had also filed separate charges in a completely different case against Brian Nudds. He was being brought up on possession of child pornography as well as sexual assault of a minor charges for several victims. _This guy was sick._ The second file in the briefcase was her own file. For shits and giggles Jess opened it and skimmed the contents most of which didn't surprise her. Alex's notes suggested she wasn't sure Jess should testify due to her fragile state. The pictures the doctor had taken at Mercy General were there. Jess skipped looking at those. There were copies of the results of her rape kit and of the fiber analysis from the clothing she wore the night she was attacked. As she looked at the lab results of the swab from her cheek where Brian Nudds had licked her she narrowed her eyes. _49% common alleles between victim Jessica O'Malley and suspect Brian Nudds. What the fuck?_

"Destiny" by Syntax stated to play on Olivia's iPod in the kitchen. Jess could hear it as she skimmed the rest of the page.

(_This is my Destiny only child,_

_Come on and rescue me, 'cause I'm wild_

_This is my selection when I'm sure,_

_Not looking for deception like before_)

The teenager flipped through more of the pages in her file. She knew that alleles had to do with DNA.

_(Beautiful creation, I adore_

_This sensation, never felt before)_

She came across a form. Alex had signed it and so had Brian Nudds. _I voluntarily terminate my legal paternal rights to Jessica O'Malley and turn the minor over to the State of New York._ It was signed by Brian Nudds on the day he was arrested on the steps of Alex's office. _Brian Nudds is my father._ Jess dropped the form.

_(How can I change the path that I'm on,_

_This is my Destiny)_

_My father tried to rape me._ Jess put her hand over her mouth. She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw up. She needed answers. It was obvious everyone around her knew Brian Nudds was her father and had kept it from her. _It was time to face her attacker. Not in a courtroom by the terms set by the law. No._ _She wanted to face him on her terms. Behind bars_.

_(This is my life, my own, right or wrong,_

_Bring it on back to me._

_How can I say what it is that I want?_

_Wisdom speak to me._

_Life your sweet then the moment is gone._

_This is my Destiny)_

Jess went to her room, dressed quickly, grabbed her iPhone and walked out to the kitchen. She hit repeat on the song, grabbed the largest knife she could find and walked into the living room. She picked up the form Nudds had signed, giving up his legal rights to her, and walked over to the front door of the condo. She slapped the form against the door and stabbed it with the knife. It made a slight ping noise as the tip of the blade became lodged into the wood of the door. The teen grabbed her coat out of the hall closet, put on her boots and un-hooked the keys to Alex's SUV off the small rack on the wall by the door. She left her home, rode the elevator to the parking garage, hopped into the BMW and drove off, headed for Sing Sing.

The large knife stuck in the front door had stopped the detective in her tracks. She screamed and Alex came running from the bedroom. She met the brunette in the living room, where they had an un-obstructed view of the front door. The A.D.A.'s jaw dropped. "What the hell?" She walked over to the door and saw what had been pinned to it with a knife. She backed away from it, but continued to stare at it. "Oh, no. Oh God…no."

Olivia withdrew her hand from her mouth as her jaw dropped. "She knows, doesn't she? Jess knows Brian Nudds is her father."

Alex nodded but couldn't take her eyes off the form Elliot had forced Nudds into signing on the day of his arrest. The song was the only noise either woman could hear.

_(This is my intention hear me now,_

_Don't need correction please me how_

_Breaking out the institution, crazy law_

_Ain't no complication, live for more_

_This is my Destiny, only child_

_Come on and rescue me, 'cause I'm wild.)_

The detective shook herself free of her fear and dialed the only number she could think of.

"Stabler"

"Elliot, Jess knows Nudds is her biological father."

"What? How is that possible? What happened?"

"I'll tell you on the way," Olivia said as she went through her clothing in the bedroom. "I'm positive she is headed to Sing Sing to meet him. I need you to pick me up and we need to grab her before she sees him."

"I'm on my way. Do you know for sure she is going to Sing Sing?"

"Not totally," Olivia replied as she pulled a pair of jeans out of a drawer.

"Knowing Nudds sexually assaulted her; do you really think Jess would go to a prison to see him?" Elliot asked, not totally convinced the kid would want to face her attacker by herself.

"My father _raped_ my mother, Elliot. As an adult, I did everything I could to find him. I just…" she sighed. "I just wanted answers, about everything. Jess isn't just looking at Nudds as her attacker. He's her father. He holds the key to her past, everything she ever wanted to know but her mother never told her."

Elliot closed his eyes for a moment as he tuned the engine to his car over his driveway in order to warm it up. His partner was right. It dawned on him for the first time that there were many parallels between Olivia and Jess. He realized, in an odd way, they were good for each other. He opened his eyes. "You're right. I'm on my way."

Olivia hung up and pulled on a clean pair of panties and the jeans she had pulled out of the drawer. Alex looked at her, but the detective wouldn't make eye contact. "Why don't you take the BMW?"

"Because Jess already did."

The blonde walked out to the living room and saw that the keys to her SUV were missing. She walked back to the bedroom. "She almost never drives my car. Why would she take mine and not yours?"

"Mine won't make it out of the garage," Olivia said as she pulled a shirt over her head and down around herself. She finally looked at Alex. "A foot and a half of snow fell last night, and it's still coming down out there. My Mustang will be parked until the spring thaw. There is no way it will make it anywhere in the snow." She grabbed her badge and service weapon from the drawer of the bedside table. "Jess is a smart kid, she knew that. She took the SUV because she knew it would make it up to Ossining."

As her detective holstered her weapon Alex went to her. She took Olivia's face in her hands. "Liv, I love you and Jess. Please bring her back, safely." The brunette put her hands on Alex's and pulled them away from her face. "You don't love us. You would have thought about us last night before you touched Steele if this family meant anything to you. Bringing Jess back to New York City is what I am going to do, but if you think she will ever spend another night in your house you have got another thing coming. She is _my_ daughter, not yours. After court tomorrow,_ if_ I let her testify, you will never see Jess again, do you hear me?"

"No! Please…please Olivia, don't keep her away from me," Alex begged.

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "If you think Jess will even want to see you after what you did, after destroying our family you're crazy!" The detective walked out of the bedroom, grabbed her coat out of the hall closet, left the condo and waited for Elliot in the lobby.

Jess made one phone call on the way up to Ossining. She spoke for about 20 minutes. At the end of the conversation the younger of the two women swore the other to secrecy. Jess didn't want anyone to know what she has said, what she had asked.

Elliot picked his partner up and they headed to Sing Sing. It was slower going than usual, even with the lights and sirens because of the weather. He waited until they were out of the city. "How did she find out?"

The brunette's gaze never left the road in front of them. "Alex came home late last night. She left her briefcase on the coffee table in the living room. Jess found it this morning and went through it. She found her file inside and read the Termination of Parental Rights form you forced Nudds into signing the day we arrested him."

"Does Jess normally go through Alex's work stuff like that?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes at the weather and road.

Olivia nodded but stared straight ahead. "Sometimes. She never reads anything unless Alex says she can. Jess has known her file, along with all the files for her case were in the briefcase for weeks now. Alex has kept it out of her reach though, knowing she probably wouldn't be able to help herself."

"So what was the deal with last night? Alex just conveniently forgot to put her briefcase away?" Elliot knew it wasn't the A.D.A's fault, but he couldn't help shifting the blame off of Jess and onto anyone else.

Tears fell from Olivia's eyes. "Alex was too busy screwing around with Jim Steele last night to think about anyone but herself."

Elliot almost veered the car off the road. He turned his head to his partner. "What?"

She turned and faced Elliot. "You heard me."

"Alex messed around with Steele last night? She told you that?"

Olivia lost her mind. "No, I'm making it up. It's all in my mind," she said sarcastically. "Yes, Elliot. Alex fucked around with Steele last night! She told me this morning when I woke up. While we were arguing Jess found out _who_ her father is and that he tried to _rape_ her." She looked down for a minute and then back at Elliot, whose eyes left the road for a moment to look at her. "Some mother I am, huh?" she said trying to stifle her crying. "I get my kid mixed up in a family with a woman who cheats on me. Then I'm arguing with that woman when I should have been there for Jess."

"Whoa, Liv, you can't blame yourself for what Alex did. She loves you and Jess."

"Stop it! Don't say that! She doesn't love us. She ruined our family!"

"Okay, okay," he said trying to calm his partner down. "At one point, though, Alex did love you both. She did everything she could to keep you and Jess together. She had me force Nudds into giving up his rights to Jess. Olivia, she even took care of Jess after Markus Stanley abducted you. She loved Jess, and you. How could you have known this was going to happen? You can't blame yourself for what Cabot did, anymore than you can blame yourself for Jess reading the files in Alex's briefcase." His cell phone rang.

"Stabler."

"Elliot, it's John. Listen, I pulled the LUDS on Jess's cell phone like you asked. She made one call today."

"Who did Jess call?"

"Elizabeth Stabler."

His jaw dropped slightly. Not the _family member he thought she would have called_. "Did TARU get a location from any cell sites?"

"Yeah, sure did. Jess's cell pinged off of a tower on the edge of Van Cortland Park, just north of Fieldston. It pinged off of several more along Highway 9 until north of Yonkers. Then it went quiet. She hasn't used it since."

"Is the GPS running on the phone?"

"Nope, she must have turned it off."

"Is the Nav system running in the BMW?"

"Not sure. Still waiting on authorization from the navigation company to link into their system. Cabot already gave her permission but it's a third-party we're waiting on now. I told Cragen what happened. He told you guys to grab Jess up from Sing Sing but to get back to the city asap."

"Thanks, John."

"Sure thing. If there is anything else you or Liv need let me know."

"Will do." He disconnected and turned to Olivia. "You were right. Jess is defiantly headed to Sing Sing.

Olivia closed her eyes, sighed and opened them again. "I knew it," she whispered. "Richard knows she's going there, doesn't he?" she asked, implying that it was him that Jess called and spoken to this morning.

"Actually no, I don't think Dickie even knows what has happened."

"What? Who did she call then?" Olivia asked, narrowing her eyes at Elliot.

He glanced at her. "Lizzie."

Olivia's eyes widened slightly. Both partners were silent for a long time after that as Elliot drove north in the snowstorm up to Ossining.

**Sing Sing Maximum Security Prison**

**Ossining, New York**

**Wednesday December 12, 09:07**

Jess walked into the prison, through security and up to a guard in a bulletproof glassed in office. He looked at her. "Can I help you?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Can I talk with Brian Nudd?"

The man in the office typed on a keyboard in front of him. Then he looked down at Jess. "He's not to have any visitors other than his lawyer."

The blonde thought for a minute. It wasn't exactly how she wanted to get him to see her, but better she see Nudds than not at all. "Tell him it's his daughter."

The guard nodded and made a phone call. He told Jess to wait across from him, on a metal bench. She turned, walked over and sat down. About ten minutes later the guard rapped on the glass and looked at Jess. She got up and walked over to him. "Sign in here." He produced a clipboard with a sign-in sheet for her to sign. There was a small opening at the bottom of the bulletproof glass that they slid the clipboard back and forth through. "Go down the hall and through the door. Once you're through the door hang a left and go to the end of the row. Nudds will be in stall 15".

Jess signed in, nodded and started to walk down the hall. She had spent most of the drive up to the prison thinking about what to say to Nudds; about what to ask him. The conversation with Lizzie had helped but she still wasn't sure she could actually face her attacker. She looked at her phone and almost turned it on and dialed Olivia's number. Instead she pocketed the phone and continued to walk. She had to do this on her own. She had to know why her father had done what he did, why he was the way that he was. She didn't want to turn out like him. With almost 50 percent of the same DNA, Jess worried it was unavoidable. The song that had played in Alex's condo before she left echoed in her ears.

_(How can I change the path that I'm on_

_This is my Destiny_

_This is my life my own right or wrong_

_Bring it on back to me_

_How can I say what it is that I want_

_Wisdom speak to me_

_Life your sweet then the moment is gone)_

The young woman opened the door and walked through to the other room, down to stall 15 and came face to face with her attacker. Her father.

_(This is my Destiny...)_

Olivia was on the verge of losing everything. Her only thought was of Jess and how she was about to face her attacker, alone. She remembered the song that Jess had left playing on repeat in the condo.

_(This is my Destiny..._

_Only child, only child_

_Come on and rescue me_

_'Cause I'm wild..._

_And I'm wild)_

Jess would be Olivia's only child. The adoption hearing wasn't until the New Year but the detective worried about it all the time. She also worried that she wasn't good enough for Jess. That somewhere else there was a better family for her. Considering Olivia was now a single mother she knew she would have to talk to Jess about possibly withdrawing the adoption case. She wasn't sure how strong her case would be now. The detective closed her eyes. First she had to rescue her little girl.

The blonde sat down on the other side of the bulletproof plexiglass from Brian Nudds. They each picked up the phones in their cubical. Nudds spoke first. "Hello, Jessica."

All of her muscles tensed and every nerve ended pulsed inside her at the sound of him saying her name again. She tried not to winch. "Hello, Brian."

He smiled at her. "Awwww…come on. You can call me Dad. You know the truth now." He tested the water with his daughter. Nudds had been excited when his lawyer had told him Jess would be testifying. Seeing her in court was something he had been looking forward to. Jessica showing up to see him, alone, was something Brian Nudds was going to savor.

"Do I, Brian? Do I know the truth?"

"You know I'm your father."

She nodded her head. "Yes, I do. But what about the rest?"

Nudds smiled wider and cocked his head. "What else would you like to know?"

"How did you and my mother meet?" Although Jess had never thought about the possibility before today there was a good chance her father had raped her mother, making her a product of that rape. She wanted all the answers, so she had to play nice…for now.

He smiled disappeared from his face. "I met Katharine in high school."

"Did you date her?"

Nudds cleared his throat. "Yes, I did."

"For how long?"

"Two years."

"What happened?" Jess wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to the question, but she knew she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't ask it.

"I had enlisted in the Army a few months before. I was sent paperwork that I would be stationed in Somalia. Katharine saw me off the morning I left and I never saw her again."

"Was I born yet? Did you know me?" Jess could feel herself being sucked into a world that consisted of only her and Nudds. She didn't hear anything else in the room, didn't see anyone else in the room.

He smiled slightly. He had his daughter's undivided attention. "No, you weren't born yet. Katharine told me she was pregnant with you a few weeks before I left for Somalia."

"What happened when you came back? Did you meet me then?"

A sick grin played across Nudds's face. _She was all his now. He had all the power, again. He was going to set her right this time. Make sure she knew everything_. "Towards the end of the pregnancy she said she needed money for doctors' bills. I told her to go to my place; I had some money stashed there. I told her to use it for the bills. Your bitch of a mother took my money and never let me see you! She wrote me after you were born. She said that she would never let me see you."

Jess's brow twitched slightly at the term Nudds had used for her mother. He was starting to come undone, but the teen was starting to regain control of herself. "Why? Why would she keep me from you?"

He shook his head. "I don't know," he lied. "My mom said it was because Katharine was selfish."

_Mom? I have a Grandmother?_ "Maybe your mom was right." Jess lied; she had to. She was so close to the whole truth she didn't want to blow it. "Is she still alive?"

The sick grin became wider on Nudds's face. "You don't know, do you Jessica?"

She tried not to let the use of her full name visibly bother her. "Know what?"

Nudds laughed. Then he looked directly into her eyes. "Connie Carpino is my mother, your Grandmother."

"What?" Any control Jess had she lost in the moment. "How can that be?"

Elliot pulled the unmarked sedan up to Sing Sing. As expected Alex's SUV was parked in the lot as well. It was already snow-covered. Olivia looked at him as they got out of the car. "She's been here awhile."

He nodded and they went into the prison. They made it through security, having to relinquish their service weapons. The partners walked up to the guard in the bulletproof office. They showed their ID. "Detective Stabler, this is my partner Detective Benson. We are here to see Brian Nudds."

The guard looked at them. "He's a pretty popular guy all of a sudden. You'll have to wait."

Olivia sighed. "He already has a visitor?"

"Yup," the guard nodded. "She's been talking to him for awhile. You can wait over there." He motioned to metal bench behind them.

"Is there anyway to go and get Jessica O'Malley? I'm her legal guardian and she isn't supposed to be here."

The guard narrowed his eyes. "She told me Nudds was her father and he confirmed that."

"He was, but he terminated his parental rights to her. Please..can we just go in and get her?"

He shook his head. "No you can't, but I can send someone in who can." He called on his walkie-talkie to another guard, who was inside the area where prisoners met with visitors.

Brian Nudds had told Jess the whole truth about his life, and parts of hers, parts she was having trouble dealing with. She had to get control of this situation before she left him. Otherwise he would always have a piece of her. He finished his up what he had been saying. "So you see Jessica, you are just like me. Even our hair colour is the same. We will always be bound by blood. I am your father and you are my daughter. When I get out of here we can have a life together."

She smiled sweetly at him. "You know you're right. We will always be bound by blood and that is an unfortunate circumstance that I am going to have to live with. But Brian, you are not my father. I have a great guy in my life who is more of a father to me than you ever will be."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Who? Who is this man?"

"Detective Elliot Stabler."

"That prick, Stabler! He shot me!"

The smile on Jess's face became almost evil. "Yup, the prick that shot you. He's who I consider to be my father, not you."

Nudds lunged at the plixeglass between them. "You lying bitch! That fucking dirtbag of a cop forced me to sign the papers. He made me sign my rights to you away. He was going to rape me! You stay away from him. You are mine! You are my daughter!"

Guards came to control Nudds. Jess hadn't even flinched when Brian had gone for her. She acted as if she was unfazed by him banging on the glass. The teen smiled at him. "One more thing. If you think you are getting out of here…you are crazy. I'm going to testify against you tomorrow. That jury of yours is going to convict you and you _will_ get life without parole for what you did to _all_ of your victims. So when you go back to that tiny cell of yours tonight, think of me, Brian. Think of all of your victims and choke on the thought of that tiny cell of yours…cause it's the only thing you'll see for the rest of your natural life."

"You little bitch! You're just like your mother! You're mine…do you hear me! You'll always be mine!" He was grabbing for her even as the guards pulled him away and out of the room. A guard came up to her. "Miss O'Malley, there are some detectives here to see you."

Elliot had left Olivia on the bench and went to make a phone call.

"Hey, Dad. What's up?"

"Not much," he lied. "Have you had any interesting phone calls today?"

Lizzie sighed. "Jess said you'd probably be calling. You looked at her cell records, didn't you?"

The detective's eyes widened. _Was there anything Jess didn't anticipate_? "What did Jess say to you today?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Elliot narrowed his eyes now. "You're not at liberty to say? Elizabeth, tell me what Jess said to you today. This is important."

Elizabeth narrowed her own eyes as she walked to her next class. "Jess is family. She is my little sister. What she told me was in confidence. I'm not going to tell you anything, Dad. Your cop tactics aren't going to work."

The detective put his left hand on his forehead. "Lizzie, I know you think of Jess as your little sister. I think of her just like I think of you and your bothers and sisters. But, honey, this is really serious. Jess is in a really bad place right now. I want to help her, but I need to know what she said to you."

"You know, Dad, you outta be ashamed of yourself. Do you just spill your guts when someone asks you to? No, you don't. You fight for them; you protect them. At least that's what you always tell us. I'm protecting Jess."

He couldn't believe it. _All the detective skills he had and his own kid was stonewalling him. He sighed_. "Is she okay? I mean, is she likely to hurt herself or run away?"

Lizzie stopped in the hall. "Dad, if I thought Jess would do that I would have stopped her. Yes, she is going through a lot right now, but I don't think she's capable of anything like that."

"Okay. Go to class or study hall or whatever it is that you are supposed to be doing. I'll see you tonight."

"K, Bye Dad."

"Bye. Wait Lizzie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

They disconnected and Elliot turned to his partner. She looked as if she might be on the verge of running away. He walked over and sat down beside her. He nudged her with his shoulder. "Hey, things are going to be okay."

Olivia was staring at the metal door at the end of the hall. It was the only thing physical thing that separated her and her daughter, but there was a mountain of emotional things that had just come to a head. She continued to stare at the door. "I need to find an apartment."

He narrowed his eyes at her. He found it odd that out of everything that was happening his partner was worried about an apartment. "Olivia, I know you need to find a place, but Jess is about to walk out here. What are you going to say to her?"

There was shouting coming from beyond the door. The partners stood. Although it was muffled by the concrete walls and metal door it was painfully obvious there was yelling in the meeting room. The detectives walked over to the guard. "What's going on?" Olivia asked and nodded her head towards the shouting.

"One of the inmates is getting out of control. The guards inside are restraining him and taking him back to his cell."

Elliot widened his eyes. "Restraining him? What did he do?"

The guard looked at the partners. "He went after his visitor." The detectives took off down the hall. The guard called after them. "She was never in any danger; he was behind the glass!"

Before they made it to the door, it opened. Jess walked out and looked up at them, not at all surprised they were the detectives who wanted to speak to her. The metal door closed behind her. "I'm sorry."

Olivia had thought about what to say at this exact moment for almost two hours. All the thoughts, all the words escaped her. She pulled Jess towards her and hugged her. She held the tiny woman as tightly as she could and kissed the side of her head.

"Livie, I can't breath."

The detective let go of her death grip. She held her out at arm's length, refusing to let go of her completely. "Are you okay?"

Jess shook her head. "No, but I think I know a way that I can be. I need to go to the diner."

The brunette looked at Elliot. "I'll take her to the diner. Tell Cragen I'm taking the day off."

He nodded.

The teenager looked between the partners. "El, you're gonna wanna come to the diner with us."

Olivia looked at the blonde. "He can't come with us; he has to go to work."

"He will want to hear what happens at the diner. Since he threatened to rape Brian Nudds in order to get him to relinquish his parental rights to me by signing that consent form, I think he has a vested interest in the whole story." Jess's gaze had stayed with Elliot the whole time she spoke.

"Elliot, what did you do?" Olivia asked as her jaw dropped.

The detective nodded his head slightly at Jess. "Did Nudds tell you that?"

"Yes"

"And you believe that lose-bag?"

"That lose-bag is my father. Like it or not; you knew that." She looked at Olivia. "So did you." She looked at them both. "I would imagin the squad knew and Alex, given that it's her name as the attorey of record on the form."

Elliot nodded his head. "Yes, we all knew. I didn't threaten to rape Nudds."

Jess crossed her arms over her chest. "You didn't bend him over the table in the interrogation room and tell him you were going to make him your victim if he didn't sign the consent form?"

The brunette's eyes widened. "Elliot?"

He turned his attention to his partner but pointed to the metal door. "I did what I had to do. That sick fuck has no rights to Jess. I made sure he never would."

"So you threaten to make him your victim?" she asked with a disgusted look on her face.

Elliot continued pointing at the door Jess had come from but looked at Olivia. "That piece of crap was the only thing standing between you and Jess being a family. He isn't her father, he isn't her family!"

Olivia's jaw dropped. "Oh, and you are?"

"Yes he is!" Jess yelled at them. The detective looked at her. "El has been more of a father to me that Brian Nudds ever will be. He severed all my legal ties to him and for that, old man, I am grateful." She looked down and then back at the partners. "If you want the whole story take me to the diner."

The partners looked at each other. Elliot spoke first. "I'll call Cragen."

"Fine. Jess is riding with me in Alex's SUV." She looked down at the teenager. "Keys."

Jess relinquished the keys and the three of them walked out of Sing Sing; the detectives retrieved their service weapons from security.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four: True Colours**

**Tony's Diner**

**7****th**** Ave and W 27****th**** Street**

**Wednesday December 12, 12:45**

The teen and the two detectives walked into the diner. Tony was cooking in the kitchen. They walked to the opening in the wall so they could see him. "Hey Tony," Jess called.

"Hey, Jessie! You comin' to help me out back here? We're getting' slammed."

She shook her head. "Sorry Tony, not today. I need to talk to Connie. Is she in the office?"

"Yeah, she sure is. Hey Liv, hey Elliot," Tony called to the detectives. They smiled and said hi back to Tony. They followed Jess into the back office, a place neither detective had spent any time in. The blonde knocked on the door and Connie answered. "Hey Jessie, come on in."

Connie closed the door behind them and turned and smiled at everyone. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Jess looked at her. "My past." She cocked her right eyebrow. "You're my Grandmother."

The detectives looked at each other and then back at the teen and the older woman in shock. Connie walked past everyone, turned and looked at Jess. "You spoke to Brian?"

The teen nodded. "Yeah. He was telling the truth wasn't he?"

The older blonde became teary eyed. "What did he tell you, Jessie?"

Jess remained stone cold as she started the story, unfazed by Connie's impending tears. "You had an affair about a year after you and Tony got married. Brian was a product of that affair and when you told Tony about everything he threw you out and told you never to come back. He couldn't live without you, though; he loved you. Tony went to you and told you he would take you back if you gave the baby up for adoption. You agreed to this. After you had Brian you gave him up. He was adopted but given back to the orphanage when he was four years old. He doesn't know why or how but you started showing up shortly after he was brought back. You came to visit him every week. When he was 18 he had to leave the orphanage but he didn't have anywhere to go. He asked if he could stay with you and Tony but you told him Tony didn't know anything about him. You sent him to New Jersey to stay in the basement of your best friend from high school."

Tears ran down Connie's face. The detectives took this to mean everything Jess had said so far was the truth. Jess remained emotionless, even after the tears were rolling down Connie's cheeks, as she continued recounting Nudds's life story. "He eventually found work, my mother and the Army. He claims he and mom had a good relationship but," Jess shook her head, "I don't believe him. Brian was shipped off to Somalia and once he was gone my mother wrote him and told him she was pregnant with me. He says that he offered her money and told her to go to the place he had been staying in Jersey for it. Soon after I was born my mother wrote to him and told him that she would never let him see me. Any of this ringing a bell, Connie?"

Connie nodded her head.

"How much of it?" Jess asked crossing her arms over her chest.

The older woman looked up and sighed. She looked back down at Jess. "All of it."

"All of it!" Jess screamed, unable control herself. She uncrossed her arms and gestured wildly. "You knew this whole time he was my father! He had been coming here for two years looking at me with _that_ look. He almost _raped_ me out there," Jess pointed to the door leading out to the dining area, "and you knew…you knew he was my father!"

Connie's eyes widened. "I don't know, I didn't know. He was going by a different name! I was never here on the lunch rushes; I didn't know it was Brian. Jessie, I swear I didn't know…" she said sobbing.

Jess narrowed her eyes at Connie. "What did my mother find in that basement in Jersey?"

The taller blonde shook her head and looked down.

"_Tell_ me!"

She looked at Jess. "No…you don't need to know."

"I already know. She found child pornography didn't she?" Jess nodded slowly at the older woman. "My father, your son, is a pedophile, isn't he?"

Connie started sobbing again as she nodded her head. "Yes."

The shorter blonde swallowed hard. "Did he rape my mother?"

Olivia wanted so badly to stop the whole scene but couldn't. As ugly as it was, Jess needed to confront Connie about everything. Finding out if she was a product of rape was something that she didn't think Jess was ready for. Olivia took two steps forward and took her little girl's hand in hers. "Stop this." She looked down at Jess. "You don't want to know that."

Seeing Olivia, actually looking up into her dark brown eyes, brought Jess out of the world crumbling around her. It also made her, for the first time all day, actually _feel_ what was happening to her. Tears formed in her eyes. "You're right. I don't _want_ to know, I _need_ to know where I came from. I need to know if I am a product of rape."

The detective nodded her head. She had needed to know the same thing at one point in her life. She could understand where Jess was coming from. It was going to change the tiny blonde forever, no matter how Connie answered. Olivia and Jess looked at Connie and held their breaths.

She shook her head. "No, Brian didn't rape your mother. He told me that he loved her. Katharine told me, years later, long after she walked into the diner with you for the first time, that she had loved your father but she had found out something about him that she couldn't get over, couldn't get past."

Elliot watched as his partner and her daughter let out a breath of relief. He narrowed his eyes at Connie. "When Jess and her mother met you, did you and Katharine know each other?"

The older woman shook her head. "Katharine and I never met. We only knew _of_ each other. Brian had given her my address and Katharine sent me pictures of Jessie. She always addressed the envelopes to Mrs. Nudds, I assumed Brian was ashamed of his past and was never honest with her about it. I sent him pictures of Jess while he was in Somalia, to keep his spirits up while he was gone." Connie looked down. "When he came back from that place he was a different person." She looked up at everyone. "He was withdrawn, he never wanted to see me and he asked me to stop sending him pictures of Jess. When Katharine walked into the diner with you," Connie looked at Jess, "I recognized you from the pictures your mother had sent me."

Tears rolled down Jess's face. "Why didn't you say anything? I mean, even after my mom died, why…why didn't you tell me you were my Grandmother?"

"Jessie, baby, I wanted to. I just…I couldn't do it. It would mean unraveling decades of lies to Tony and to you…I just couldn't do it."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the older woman. "You must have known at some point during the investigation that Mitch Simpson was really Brian Nudds. We were looking for him; he was stalking Jess. Why didn't you come forward then? Why didn't you help us?"

Connie shook her head and looked down, unable to look any of them in the eyes. "I don't know. I just…I couldn't hurt Brian. I abandoned him the moment he was born. I just…I couldn't hurt him again."

"Look at me," Jess said in a controlled tone.

The older blonde continued to stare at the floor of the office.

"Look at me!" The girl commanded.

Connie looked up at Jess.

"Maybe you feel guilty about giving Brian up for adoption. Maybe you can forgive him for being a pedophile. I guess you _have_ forgiven him for sexually assaulting your granddaughter. I'm not that forgiving. I will never forgive him for what he did to me. And I'll _never_ forgive you for almost letting him get away with it!" Jess looked at Connie with disgusted. "I never want to see you again." The teen turned, let go of Olivia's hand and walked out of the office. She continued out of the diner and stood on the street in the cold December weather.

Olivia looked at the older woman. "You stay away from Jess. She is my daughter now, and I will never let her get hurt by you and your twisted family again." The detective walked out of the office and diner. She met Jess at Alex's SUV.

Elliot sucked in some air and looked at Connie. "If you even _think_ about coming after Olivia for rights to Jess…" he cocked his head slightly to the right and widened his eyes. "You'll have to answer to me, lady. And believe me," he said with a sick grin on his face, "you don't want to answer to me." He turned and left the older woman crying in the office. He met Jess and his partner out on the street.

The brunette was hugging the girl. Elliot rubbed his hands together to keep warm as Olivia looked at him. She somehow conveyed to him in that look how worried she was that Connie could take her to court for Jess, especially with the adoption hearing only a few weeks away. Elliot nodded slightly to her and mouthed 'it's okay'. She sighed and hugged Jess a little tighter. She mouthed back to him, 'thank you'. He nodded back.

Olivia let go of Jess and the teen looked up at her. "Take me to the salon were you get your hair cut."

The detective narrowed her eyes in surprise at the request. "Why?"

Jess looked up at Olivia with her dark green eyes and tear stained cheeks. "It's the last thing I'll ask you for today. Just…" She sighed. "Just please take me."

The brunette nodded. "Okay."

The teen turned and looked at Elliot. "What you did to Brian Nudds, what you said to him, never do it again."

He nodded.

She looked away from him. "You made sure Connie won't come after Livie for me?"

The partner exchanged looks. Jess was intelligent but she had also picked up on just how close Olivia and Elliot were, what they would do for each other and just how much they loved each other. He looked down at Jess and she finally looked at him as he nodded. "Yes."

Jess walked up to Elliot and threw her arms around him. "I love you, old man."

Elliot closed his eyes as he hugged her back. "I love you, too."

Over the years, Olivia had seen every side of her partner. He wasn't the type to show emotion, at least not love or caring. They trusted each other with their lives on a daily basis and most of their serious or emotional communication was done through looks, never through outright declaration. Seeing him with his children was always amazing her because he did show that side of himself. Seeing Elliot with Jess, even from the beginning had amazed Olivia in the same way. The pair had this connection and it had only grown stronger with time.

The detective and the blonde let go of each other. Jess looked up at him. "Thank you, for everything."

He smiled at her and nodded. "Cook-off this Sunday?"

Jess grinned at him. "You're on. Text me the details."

Elliot nodded. He looked between his partner and her daughter. "I'm gonna head back to the squad. Call me if you need anything."

Both women nodded and Elliot headed for the unmarked sedan.

Olivia looked at Jess. "I'm going to call the salon, but I can't promise anything."

Jess nodded. "If I can't get in there, I'm calling Ally's guy."

The detective was slightly taken aback. _Alex._ It had felt like a lifetime since that morning, since she had broken up with her. Olivia realized she couldn't fool around at a salon all day; she needed to find a place to live. The brunette phoned and got an appointment in 30 minutes; the salon had a cancellation. Jess texted Alex on the way to the salon. "Need to talk to you. Come to Livie's salon before 4PM or I'll see you tonight at home. I LOVE YOU."

When Alex received the text at 1:30PM she was in the middle of hailing a cab on the front steps of the courthouse. Court had ended. Not being able to transfer Nudds from Sing Sing due to the weather had suspended that trial for the day. She had finished up two bail hearings and was now on her way back to her office. She had texted Olivia begging her tell her if Jess was okay and had heard nothing. When Alex read the text from Jess she was relived and confused. The tiny blonde was under the impression that she was coming home to Alex's condo that night, but Olivia had told her otherwise earlier that morning. _Maybe Olivia hadn't told Jess anything yet?_ The A.D.A. texted her little girl back. "On my way to the salon. I love you!"

**Essence Hair Salon**

**Wednesday December 12, 14:02**

Once inside the salon and in the hairdresser's chair Jess looked at her reflection in the mirror in front of her. She could see Olivia's hairdresser's and the detective's reflection as well. The hairdresser, Paul, stood directly behind Jess. "What can I do for you today, Jess?"

The teenager looked into Paul's eyes as she reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her wallet. From inside she pulled a photo and held it up. Paul took it, breaking eye contact with his client. Jess continued to look at the stylist's refection in the mirror. "I want you do dye my hair the same colour as the woman in the picture."

Olivia, who standing beside Paul, knew without even glancing at the photograph who it was of; she was starting to understand why her foster daughter had insisted on coming to the salon. He looked back at Jess, through the mirror. "I'll do whatever you want me to do, but I have to be honest. It's not going to look good."

"Why?" Jess asked, narrowing her eyes at Paul's reflection.

He looked back at her. "Your skin tone is too light. The dark brown will wash your face out completely. Jess, it'll make you look older, and not in a good way. But if you really want it that dark I will do it."

Jess looked away for a moment. When she looked back up into the mirror she looked only at Olivia's reflection. "Dye my hair the same colour as Livie's."

The detective's jaw dropped slightly, although she tried to hide her surprise. "Jess…"

It was too late; the girl had looked at Paul's reflection. "What will that look like?"

"The amber highlights will lighten the stark brown undertones; it should look fine with your skin tone."

"Good. That's what I want then."

Paul smiled slightly and excused himself to mix up the dye. Olivia moved directly behind Jess and they spoke to each other reflections.

"Making yourself look like your mother or me isn't going to make it any easier to face Nudds tomorrow in court."

Jess narrowed her eyes at the brunette. "That's why you think I'm doing this? Because I'm scared of my father?"

The detective looked at her sympathetically. "It's okay to feel scared. It's not something you should be ashamed of." Olivia shook her head. "But this, dying your hair, it isn't going to make you stronger. You are already strong enough to testify."

"I know that." Jess said with false bravado. "I faced my father in jail today, on my own terms. I got to him, Livie. I'm not afraid of him or of testifying tomorrow."

Olivia knew better than to believe Jess wasn't afraid of Nudds. She knew the teen was more scared than ever, for all new reasons. The fact that she continued to refer to Nudds as her father told the detective that Jess was thinking much more about where she came from and what she was made up of than ever before. Olivia played along though; pushing the blonde at this point would only further upset her. "Then why? Why are you trying to look like your mother, or me?"

"Brian Nudds and I have a lot in common," Jess said in a dark tone, something Olivia was very uncomfortable hearing. "He's good with computers. I realized this morning that all those months ago it was me who hacked his computer down at Computer Crimes. I broke his code and found the hidden pictures of his other victims." The teen cocked her eyebrow. "Like father, like daughter. He can't stay away from computers and neither can I."

The brunette's face twisted slightly as her eyes widened. "It's absolutely not the same thing. Nudds used his computer to hide child pornography; you use yours to help take perps off the street." She narrowed her eyes. "You use your skills to assist the NYPD, not to hurt people or hide things."

Jess snickered slightly as a small sick smile played across her lips. "You act as if what I do is totally different than what he does. It's not, and you know it. It's the same keystrokes, it's the same drive and the same pleasure derived from hacking." The young woman's upper lip curled up in disgust. "I have the same DNA he does, the same blood running though me, the same hair colour as his."

"You're not him, Jessie," Olivia said, shaking her head. It was surreal having this conversation, out loud, with someone else. The detective had had this conversation with herself on many occasions, landing on both sides of the argument. "Yes, you have the same DNA. Yes, you have his hair colour, but that isn't what makes up a person…those are only bits and pieces." Olivia put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "You are much more than some strands of DNA and blonde hair. Your mother raised you to be honest, loving, caring and compassionate. You have more empathy than anyone else I know. You are not your father's daughter; you are a product of a wonderful upbringing." The brunette narrowed her eyes slightly. "Don't discount everything your mother did for you and taught you because you found out your father is a sick man."

The blonde looked away and closed her eyes. She found her way back to Olivia's deep brown sympathetic eyes. "That's going to take time." She shook her head. "I hate…" she looked away and collected her thoughts. Jess looked back with a furrowed brow. "I hate myself. I hate the way I look; I hate what I do for a living and most of all I hate Him for making me feel this way. I can't let him do this to me." She sucked in some air. "He took everything from me that night in the diner," The young woman said, close to tears. "My father took the last seven months of my life from me. I can't let him take anything else. I need to look different for now. I just…I need to look at myself and not see Him. Can you understand that?"

This time it was Olivia that looked away. Now was not the time, but at some point very soon, she would tell Jess about her own father and her past. She looked back at the teenager she loved with tears in her eyes as she nodded. "Uh, yeah..." the detective said with a slight smile caused by the irony of the situation, "actually I can." The smile morphed into a genuine one. "Dye your hair. I think it will look great."

"So do I," Alex said as she smiled slightly at blonde.

Jess grinned, for the first time all day. She got up out of the chair and hugged both women, then looked between them. "Promise me you will never let me go. I need you, both, so much. You are my family."

The pair looked at each other and then at Jess. Olivia was the first to speak. "We will always be your family, no matter what."

"We will always be in your life," Alex choked back tears knowing that she was about to be thrown out of Jess's life completely, "as long as you want us."

The teenager sensed the taller blonde's emotions getting the better of her so she took her right hand in her left. "I want you. I need you both."

Paul came back with the dye mixed in a bowl. Jess sat down while he applied it to her hair. Olivia and Alex went outside the salon to talk. The snow had finally tapered off, as had the wind; now it was just cold and depressing. "How much of that did you hear?" Olivia asked without looking at Alex.

The A.D.A. shoved her hands in the pockets of her khaki coloured winter pea coat, also avoiding Olivia's eyes. "Most of it. Jess is really going to need you for the next little while. Nudds must have had done a number on her."

Despite the detective's anger towards Alex she remained calm and told her about the day's events, both at Sing Sing and the diner. A now stunned Alex looked at Olivia, willing her to look back. "Jess needs stability now more than ever. Her entire life was revealed to her today and it horrified her. Olivia, please…look at me."

Olivia finally focused on the A.D.A. that stood before her, instead of the city around them. Those stunningly beautiful blue eyes looked back at her from behind the black frames of her glasses. It actually physically hurt the detective to look at Alex. She loved her so much, she gave the blonde her heart and she had smashed it into a million pieces in just one night. She was snapped out of her own thoughts. "I think you and Jess should stay at the condo. I'll find somewhere else to stay. Jess needs to be at home; she needs to be in a familiar place, a place she feels safe. She deserves that."

The detective nodded. "Thank you for putting Jess first."

"Despite what you think or how I have acted, I really do love her, Olivia. I will always put her first; she's my daughter."

While looking away Olivia admitted, "I know." She looked at Alex. "She needs you, too."

"You haven't told her what happened? I mean…" Alex's eyes filled with tears. "I mean what I did?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, I haven't. I think she's been through enough for one day. I thought it would be best to wait, at least until after she testifies tomorrow."

The blonde nodded in agreement. "Olivia, I'll tell her. Tomorrow or whenever you think it's best. I'll tell her."

The detective acted as if she didn't care. "Fine, sure…whatever. We should get back in there." They turned and walked back into the salon.

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Wednesday December 12, 18:45**

Dinner had been relatively quiet between the three women. It took every ounce of strength the detective had to sit at the table and eat with the A.D.A. If Jess noticed the silence or distance between her quasi mothers she didn't voice it. While the teen was clearing the dinner dishes and loading the dishwasher Alex watched her. It crushed her to know she had to come clean to the girl. Jess looked at her. "What's wrong?"

Alex shook herself out of her thoughts. She smiled slightly at the now brunette teenager standing before her. "Nothing, sweetheart." The small smile faded. "Do you want to go over your testimony one last time before tomorrow?"

Jess loaded the last of the dishes into the washer. She poured the detergent into the small container and closed the lid. As she lifted the door of the dishwasher and closed it she made eye contact with Alex. "I guess I probably should, huh?"

The A.D.A. nodded. "It couldn't hurt, although you have had a long day."

Olivia appeared beside Alex and smiled softly at Jess. "I think it would be a good idea if you did." The smile faded. "Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day. Facing Nudds in the courtroom is going to be harder on you than I think you think it will be. You and Ally should go over what you are going to say, one last time."

The younger woman nodded her head at both women, and then looked at Olivia. "Will you sit with us?"

"Sure," Olivia said nodding.

About 35 minutes into the prep session Olivia's cell phone went off. She ran her thumb over it to answer. "Benson." She listened to the person on the other end; it was Fin.

"Olivia, you gotta meet us at the Madison Avenue condo."

She furrowed her brow. "Why? What happened?"

"Long story, Liv. Cliff's Notes version…Desean Allen knows Casey's true identity. You gotta get down here, Cragen's on his way."

The detective's tone changed, she was in cop mode. "Is the target okay?"

Fin nodded. "Yeah, Casey is fine. She's shook up though. Liv, she keeps asking for you."

"I'm on my way." She hung up and looked at Jess. Olivia didn't know what to do. She didn't want to leave Jess with Alex, but what choice did she really have? The teenager looked at her. "Is Casey safe?"

Olivia looked slightly in surprise. After the day Jess had had, she still had the compassion to think about someone else. "Yes, she's fine. I have to go and see her though and I uhhh..probably won't be back tonight."

Jess got up and hugged her. "It's okay. Cass needs you. Keep her safe."

They let go of each other and Olivia looked at Alex, who had already booked a suite for the rest of the week at the Plaza. "I know you had planned on working tonight but do you think…I mean would you be able to tuck Jess in?"

Alex nodded her head and gave her detective a small knowing smile. She was tactfully asking if she would spend the night and not go to the hotel. "Of course." The smile faded. "I will always be there for Jessie." Alex tried to convey that no matter what happened between her and Olivia she would still be there for Jess; that is if the kid wanted her to be after she found out the truth.

Jess watched the exchange and narrowed her eyes. "What's with you two? You've been acting weird all day."

Olivia put her arm around her daughter and squeezed her into her side. "Nothing's with us. You scared the hell out of us today." She sighed and let Jess go. They looked at each other. "Cut us some slack, okay?"

The tiny brunette nodded. "Okay." She looked at the women. "I really am sorry I took off. I just…" she looked down and then back at them. "I had to do it."

Alex nodded. "We know. We understand, but you really can't pull crap like that again."

"I know, I won't."

The detective kissed Jess on the top of her head and stood up. She went to the bedroom to retrieve her service weapon and badge. Alex followed her; she walked into the room and spoke quietly. "Thank you for trusting me with Jess tonight."

Olivia put the gun on her belt. "I don't have that many options on short notice." She looked up. "Once she finds out what you did, she's not going to want to see you ever again. Remember that, Alexandra."

Alex shut her eyes to the comment. It cut her deeply knowing that Olivia was right. She opened them as the detective turned and started to leave the bedroom. "Olivia, I am so sorry for what I did to you, to us."

She stopped walking while Alex was speaking, but continued into the hall once the sentence was over. Olivia grabbed her leather coat out of the front hall closet. Jess met her at the door. After the detective had her coat on she bent down and hugged her daughter. The teenager hugged her back and kissed her on her cheek. "When you come home, wake me up."

Olivia kissed Jess on the cheek. "I will, I always do. I love you, sweetheart."

The teen smiled. "I love you, too. Tell Cass I say hey."

"Will do." She stood up and nodded to both women. "Have a good night." She turned and put her hand on the door. Jess grabbed her hand. "Wait," she said with her brow furrowed. "kiss Ally goodnight."

Alex looked down at the younger woman. "Olivia has to get going, Jessie."

The detective knew the teenager wouldn't let the kiss go. She leaned into Alex and met her half way. As their lips touched both women's hearts broke. It felt so good, so right and yet…so sad all at the same time. The kiss ended and they were left staring at each other for a moment. "Goodnight, Al."

"Goodnight, Liv." The detective left and Alex closed the door behind her. Jess took her hand. "Come on; let's go though the rest of the questions for tomorrow."

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Wednesday December 12, 20:02**

Olivia was let into the building by the doorman. She rode the elevator to the top floor, got off and walked to Penthouse 1. She knocked on the door and then entered. The brunette was the last of the team to arrive. She nodded to everyone in the room and walked over to Casey, who was sitting on a couch with Elliot to the left of her. Olivia sat to the right of her on the couch. She looked at the strawberry blonde "What happened?"

Casey shook her head. "I over-reacted to a message Allen left on my voicemail."

Elliot looked at his partner but addressed what Casey had said. "I don't think that you did. Listen to the message."

Munch had Casey's cell phone; he put it on speakerphone and pressed all the buttons to get into the voicemail. He played the message.

"I don't know why you lied to me, Cyana Hildebrandt, or should I say Casey Novak? You didn't have to do that. I thought you were a good girl; a nice girl. Now I see what you really are; a liar. That makes me angry."

The voicemail ended there. Olivia looked up at Fin and Munch. "When did he make that call? How did he find out Casey's true identity?"

Munch looked at her. "Allen left work early today. He took the subway up here and waited for Casey. She came out and he followed her into the subway. We followed but lost him when they changed subways."

Olivia looked at Casey. "Where did you go?"

The strawberry blonde looked at the detective. "I was going to work; I had to meet my editor."

She closed her eyes and then opened them again. "He followed you to the Times Building on 8th Avenue?"

Casey nodded.

"Did you ever see him? Did you know he was following you?"

The taller woman shook her head. "No, but he must have followed me long enough to pique his curiosity about who I am."

Elliot looked at Munch. "Any idea how he could have found out who Casey is?"

Munch shook his head. "No. He couldn't have gotten very far in the Times Building, though. By the time we got to street level and called Casey her phone was off."

"I was in a meeting with my editor; I always shut my cell off. A story I've been working on for a month was breaking and he wanted to know how to spin it for me."

Fin took over. "By the time we got hold of her she was on her way out of the building. We met her as soon as we could and there was no sign of Allen."

Cragen looked at Casey. "You sure you still want to continue with this investigation? I know we spoke about this earlier but the case is shifting. You have every right to walk away."

Casey sighed. "And what? He finds someone else? Some other woman to torture and rape?"

Fin shook his head. "We'll send in an undercover officer. W should have done that from the get-go. We should have never put you in this position."

"I'm already here. I know what I was getting into. You all warned me. I want to see this through to the end. I want Allen behind bars."

Cragen nodded. "You are going to be under 24 hour surveillance from now on."

The strawberry blonde shook her head. "I really don't think that's necessary. I over-reacted about the voicemail. I feel a little silly having called you all up here," she said wearily.

Elliot looked at her. "You didn't over-react. Your cover has been blown. I don't want to worry you, but that is a big deal, Case."

Munch looked around the room. "We have to come up with a game plan; Allen seems to be giving Casey more attention than the other victims. None of them were contacted or left messages by a stranger leading up to their attack."

Fin nodded. "He's escalating. Stalking isn't enough for him anymore; he's made contact."

Olivia looked at Casey. "I'll stay here tonight with you."

Casey shook her head. "Liv, you really don't have to. I'll be fine; I'm not going out again."

The Captain looked at Casey. "No, Olivia's right. She'll spend the night with you and Elliot can take over in the morning." He looked between Fin and Munch. You two take shifts with Desean Allen. I don't want him outta your sights. The guy has the next two days off. He will probably follow Casey wherever she goes in that time. We have to be ready for anything; he is obviously changing his routine."

Everyone nodded. Munch looked at his partner. "I'll take the night shift."

The detectives and their Captain left the Penthouse condo, leaving Olivia and Casey inside and the two officers down the block and around the corner for back-up. The strawberry blonde looked at the detective. "Beer?"

Olivia gave a half-smile. "I'm on the clock."

Casey grinned. "Right…I'll get the tequila." She walked into the kitchen and was there for awhile. She came back carrying two mugs; Olivia was texting on her phone. The reporter set one of the mugs on the coffee table, in front of the detective. She held the other one in her right hand and sat down beside Olivia, but at the other end of the couch.

The brunette looked up and smiled at Casey. "Jess says hey and goodnight." She set the iPhone down and picked up the mug.

"She's a great kid, Liv," Casey said smiling over her mug.

Olivia took a swig out of the mug and grinned. "Earl Grey, you remembered?"

The reporter nodded. "It's been a while, but not forever."

"You're right, on both accounts. Jess is wonderful."

"She loves you, Liv." Casey pursed her lips slightly, then continued. "And she loves Alex, too." The reporter hated to acknowledge the beautiful relationship between the teenager she was so fond of and the A.D.A. she loathed.

"She won't for very much longer." It had come out of her mouth before Olivia even realized what she was saying.

Casey's eyes widened. "Why, what happened?"

The detective's jaw dropped slightly. "Aw, nothing. Look, this isn't the right time."

"Liv, we are alone in this condo for the rest of the night. Neither one of us is going to sleep very much so we might as well talk about what is happening with you."

Olivia pursed her lips.

"Come on, I need the distraction," she coxed gently. She wanted the brunette to open up but only if she was ready.

The detective sighed. She sat back on the couch, crossed her legs and held the mug with both her hands. She looked into the mug. "Alex cheated on me, with Jim Steele."

Casey was speechless for a moment. Several emotions washed over her but the one that stuck was anger. "I'm gonna fucking kill the Ice Princess."

Olivia smiled sadly and looked up at her. "There is no need to bring on fatal consequences, although you can definately give her a piece of your mind."

"Count on it," Casey said.

The brunette continued telling Casey what happened, and how she felt when Alex hadn't been truthful with Steele about her and Jess.

"Liv, I understand how you feel. I mean I don't, but I can empathize with you." Casey bit her bottom lip; she couldn't believe she was about to say this. "Do you think it's possible that Alex didn't tell Steele about you and Jess because she just didn't want to share her life with him?"

"Why is that the first thing everyone says?" Olivia asked as she now held the mug in her left hand and gestured with her right.

Casey furrowed her brow. "Who is everyone?"

The brunette tried to regain her composer. "Elliot. He asked me the same thing."

"And?"

Olivia raised her brow. "And I think it's crap. How can you make out with someone if you are supposedly in love with someone else?"

"You're confusing two separate things, Liv. Alex cheating on you is inexcusable. But her not sharing her private life with a co-worker is different. To some extent, I can actually see where she is coming from."

"Steele isn't just a co-worker, Case. He and Alex are friends; they used to sleep together."

This time it was Casey who raised her brow. "All the more reason for Alex not to share her private life with him. Liv, they are ex-lovers. How may of your ex's have you told about Alex and Jess?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "They aren't just ex-lovers. They're friends."

"Are they?"

"When Alex told me who was sitting first chair she said my 'old friend Jim Steele'. What am I supposed to think?"

Casey sighed. She hated to defend the Ice Princesses, especially to the woman she had cheated on. "Is it possible that Alex was just trying to put you at ease when it came to who was prosecuting Jess's case? That maybe she and Steele aren't as close as she made them seem?"

The brunette shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, how am I supposed to know if that's all she tells me?" She narrowed her eyes at Casey. "I have to be honest, Case; I'm really surprised that you, of all people, are sticking up for Alex. I always got the sense you never totally approved of her."

"I think I just felt like she wasn't good enough for you," The strawberry blonde confessed with a small grin. She had never told Olivia about the discussion the A.D.A. had had with her outside of The Times Building shortly after Markus Stanley was arrested. Casey figured Alex hadn't said anything to the detective either. "What Alex did to you, cheating on you with Steele is something that only you can decide to forgive her for. If it's something that you can't forgive, or get past, then that's it. I think there might be something more to her not telling Steele about you and Jess. You should talk to her about that before you decide anything. Sooo…you're going to tell Jess what Alex did?"

The detective tried to hide her surprise. "Well, yeah. I mean I think she has a right to know. Don't you?"

Casey inhaled and held her breath for a moment. She exhaled and looked deep into the detective's dark brown eyes. "You and Alex have taken over the parental roles in Jess's life. She loves you both. Do you really want her in the middle of this?"

"Not particularly, but I can't really keep it from her either. I am moving out of Alex's place and I'm taking Jess with me. The truth is awful, but lying to her doesn't seem right either."

"Are you prepared for the fact that Jess might one day forgive Alex, even if you can't?"

Olivia looked down and then back into the light blue eyes of the woman sitting with her. "What makes you think Jess would have the capacity to forgive Alex?"

The reporter's eyes widened suddenly as she spoke softly. "Need, want…a pull…whatever you want to call the connection she and Alex share. Remember how betrayed she felt by Alex after she lied to her about where you were after you were abducted by Markus Stanley?"

The brunette nodded.

"If Jess's need for Alex outweighed that, it outweighs a lot. She went to Alex because she missed her, she couldn't live without her. You have to acknowledge that pull."

"Alex doesn't deserve Jess; she wouldn't even acknowledge who she is to Steele," Olivia said as she narrowed her eyes.

"I agree that Alex doesn't deserve Jess or you, but that is me being protective of the two of you. You do need to address what type of relationship she and Steele had before you judge her on why she didn't tell him about you." The strawberry blonde sighed. "The simple truth is: Jess may forgive Alex, in time. How are you going to deal with that?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't know that I can."

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Thursday December 13, 07:21**

Olivia walked into Jess's room and stood over her. She was lying on her stomach, her arms around her pillow, her now auburn hair falling down her back. She was sleeping in a tank-top and cotton sleep pants. The older woman pulled the comforter up around Jess. She stroked the teenager's hair gently and smiled. If she had a biological daughter this is what Olivia imagined she would look like. She bent over Jess and kissed her cheek softly.

The tiny brunette smiled softly as she was brought out of sleep. She smelled the faint scent of Olivia's perfume mixed with leather. "Livie," she murmured, still smiling softly.

The smile on her face widened at her daughter's sleepy voice. "I'm home. I love you."

Jess shifted and actually rolled over, on her back, to the other side of the bed. "Love you, too. Stay," she said quietly without opening her eyes. Olivia didn't want to be anywhere else. Jess was going to testify that day. She knew after that Alex would tell her about making out with Steele and Jess's life would be more of a mess than ever before. She shed her leather jacket and service weapon. She opened up the covers of the queen-sized bed, got in, laid her head on one of the pillows and pulled the covers over herself. Jess rolled back onto her stomach, put left arm over the detective's stomach and grabbed her shirt tightly. "It's okay, Jessie. I'm right here. You're not alone."

"Don't leave me. I need you and Ally." The teenager never opened her eyes and her voice was sleepy and very child-like. It was almost as if she was stuck in that place between sleep and awake and her mind couldn't decide which place to go.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears. "I know. I won't leave you, sweetheart." She put her left hand on top of Jess's and stroked it softly. Maybe there was some merit in what Casey had said to her the night before. Alex's confession will send the teenager over the edge. _Could she really do that to her little girl?_

"Talk to me." Jess could feel herself becoming more aware of her surroundings. She didn't want to wake up, not yet. She wanted to be lulled back to sleep; away from what waking up to this day meant for her.

Still stroking her daughter's soft hair Olivia began to half whisper, half sing.

_(__You with the sad eyes  
Don't be discouraged  
Oh I realize  
It's hard to take courage  
In a world full of people  
You can lose sight of it all  
And the darkness inside you  
Can make you feel so small_

But I see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful,  
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,  
Don't be unhappy, can't remember  
When I last saw you laughing  
If this world makes you crazy  
And you've taken all you can bear  
You call me up  
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful,  
Like a rainbow)

She barely got the last few sentences out before Olivia herself fell asleep.

The detective felt as though she had only been sleeping for a few minutes when the smell of coffee and waffles filled the air in the room and woke her. Alex walked into Jess's room to wake her and was surprised to see Olivia lying there. The detective's eyes fluttered open to the sight of the blonde. "How long have you been home?"

Olivia knew she would be seeing the A.D.A., not only this morning but everyday after. They worked together. _Just goes to show you shouldn't shit where you eat._ _How had she misjudged Alex? How could the woman she loved so much turn around and break her heart?_ "Not long. I came in to say I was home to Jess and she pulled me in."

"She had a rough night," Alex said biting her bottom lip. "She came into our bedroom, long after I thought she was asleep and asked if I would read to her."

The brunette sighed and closed her eyes. "Did you?"

Alex looked at her detective with a sad but disbelieving look on her face. "Of course I did. Olivia, I love her. I know you don't believe me but I do. I read to her, in here, until she fell asleep, but it was well after one in the morning."

Although they had been whispering Jess started to stir. Alex walked over to the bed and sat on the end of it. Olivia rubbed her hand. "Wake up, Jess."

"Who made breakfast?"

The older women looked at each other and smiled. It was the first time in over a day they had done so. "I did. The waffles are ready…if you want them."

A smile found its way across the teenager's face and her eyes flew open. She turned on her side so she could see them both. "I can't believe you made breakfast."

Alex feigned shock. "I've made breakfast before."

"Liar," The smaller brunette teased. Her expression changed in a heart beat. "I'm scared."

The A.D.A. and the detective flashed a look of concern at each other. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to testify," Alex said.

Olivia propped herself up on an elbow in order to see Jess better. She looked into her hazel eyes. "You are one of the strongest people I know. Every time something gets thrown at you, you get through it. Most people can't do that. I know it's not easy, but somehow you always find the strength to deal with whatever situation you find yourself in. You already faced Brian Nudds. You were scared but you did it."

"This is different. I actually have to say what he did to me. I don't know that I can." Jess looked down, unable to look at Olivia.

"Yes, you can. Jess, you are strong enough to do this," Alex coaxed from the foot of the bed.

The young woman looked between her pseudo mothers. "As long as you're both there, I'll do it."

Alex and Olivia looked at each other and nodded. "We'll be there." The blonde said.

"We'll always be there for you," Olivia added, still looking at the A.D.A.

They ate breakfast and actually managed to laugh a little. Afterwards, Jess showered and Olivia took the time to talk to Alex. "We need to talk about some things."

Alex nodded. "Okay, go ahead." _Talking was a good thing_.

"First of all there have been some developments in the Desean Allen case."

This took Alex by surprise. She had known something had happened, given that Olivia had been called away last night. The A.D.A. just couldn't figure out with everything else going on today why her detective would pick now to talk about it. "Okay? What happened?"

"I'll get into specifics later, after Jess's testimony, but I want to warn you that I don't think Elliot is going to be in the courtroom today."

"We should tell her that before she goes on the stand."

"I agree. I also need to ask you some questions but there isn't enough time right now and I will have to go back to the Madison Avenue Penthouse tonight. What time are you due in court tomorrow?"

"Not until 10AM."

"Can we talk tomorrow, after Jess goes to school?"

Alex nodded. "Sure. Do you think she'll be able to go to school though?"

"Hard to say," Olivia said shrugging. "She might want the distraction. Or she might want to stay here. We'll play it by ear."

The A.D.A. nodded. "I can stay here again tonight with her. I mean, if you have to be out all night, I can stay."

Olivia knew it was the right thing to do. Jess should absolutely not be alone and she found comfort in Alex. She nodded her head. "Jess would really like that. I uhh…I really appreciate it."

The blonde nodded. Olivia headed into their bedroom to shower quickly and change. Alex changed and Jess appeared in court-appropriate clothing. The teenager had texted her boyfriend about 20 times since she had left the breakfast table. Jess apologized for being so distant the last few days. She confessed that she had a lot to tell him and that her hair colour was almost identical to Olivia's. Richard assured her that when she was ready he would listen to everything she had to say. He said he was intrigued to see her hair and promised her he would be right outside the courtroom while she was testifying.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five: Taking Control

**60 Centre Street**

**Supreme Court**

**Outside of the Courtroom of Judge Donnelley**

**Thursday December 13, 08:45**

Alex, Olivia and Jess all walked towards the courtroom door. Standing there, waiting for them were Elliot, Casey, Richard and Ken Randle. Jess walked right up to her boyfriend and fell into his arms. He hugged her and whispered. "You can do this. I love you."

"I love you, too."

They let go of each other and Jess looked around; her eyes settled on the strawberry blonde standing next to Elliot. "I'm not sure what's going on with you, but I am glad to see you." The teen smiled and hugged Casey.

"It's good to see you, too." The reporter hugged the brunette back and actually kissed the top of her head. "When this is all over, Shorty, we'll sit down and talk. I promise."

Jess let go, looked up and smiled. "I'm gonna hold you to that, Cass." She looked at Elliot. "Well?" she smirked.

His brow shot up a little. He was shocked she was in such high spirits. "Well, what?"

"The hair…" Jess said, waiting for some dig at the colour.

Elliot smiled softly at her. "The hair…the hair I like."

She smiled at him, blushing slightly. She hadn't expected a compliment. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really. It looks good, Kid."

"Thanks, old man."

Jess looked at Ken. He smiled slightly at her and pulled her in for a hug. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I didn't think you'd be able to come."

Ken let go of her so they could look at each other. "I would never leave my girl hangin'. You got this, I know you do."

She smiled and nodded.

Alex looked at everyone. "We should get settled inside."

Jess turned and hugged Richard one last time. "I'm right here. I'll be right here when you come out of those doors." She gripped the back of his shirt, under his coat. "This is it. If I can do this it's all over."

"You can do this. I know you can."

She let go of him and turned to everyone else. "Let's do this." As they turned to enter the courtroom Elliot stayed behind. Jess didn't notice, but Alex and Olivia did. He had to stay with Casey. The women disappeared through the doors as they closed.

Elliot put his hand on his son's shoulder. "She will pull through this, son."

Richard looked at the doors to the courtroom. "I know. She's the strongest person I know." He looked up slightly at his father. "Why aren't you going in with her? You told me last night she wanted you in there with her."

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" he asked pursing his lips.

"No," Richard said, narrowing his eyes. "I want you in there, with her. I need…" he sighed. "I need you to be in there. Please, Dad, go, protect her."

He nodded his head. "Okay. I gotta wait for Cragen, but I'll go in."

Richard nodded. "Why do you have to wait for the Captain?"

"It's a long story, Richard," Casey said to the young man, shooting him a sly smile. "Your Dad is babysitting me. He has to wait until Cragen gets here before he can leave my side."

"Good luck with that. My Dad's been babysitting me for my whole life; it's really not that fun."

Casey grinned. "So I have come to appreciate."

Inside the courtroom Jess and Olivia sat directly behind the prosecution's table, in the observation area. Jim Steele was already sitting at the table, when Alex made her way to it and sat down. He turned to Jess. "Hey Jess, are you ready for this?"

She nodded, but said nothing. There was something about Jim Steele that made her skin crawl. Alex looked from Jess to Jim. "She's been prepped. Jess is going to do fine."

If looks could kill Jim Steele would have dropped dead right there before court was even called to order. Olivia hadn't liked the way he had treated her daughter the other day, but had an all new level of hatred for him today; and her eyes said it all.

Brian Nudds was brought into the courtroom and was ushered to the defense table; where his lawyer was already sitting. Jess's breath caught in her throat and Olivia gently took her hand in hers. "He can't hurt you anymore. Look at him, shackled and in an orange D.O.C. jumper. He can't take anything else away from you, Jess."

The teen exhaled and her hand. It wasn't long before court was called to order. Judge Donnelley looked at the documentation in front of her and then looked over at Alex. "Your witness, Counselor."

Alex nodded. "The people call Jessica O'Malley to the stand."

Olivia felt her daughter swallow immediately after Alex had said her name; Jess had visibly shook. The detective stood and the tiny brunette followed her. They stepped into the aisle and Jess scanned the gallery; it was full. She was going to have to explain what her father had done to her in front of everyone. The one face that was absent was the one man she needed there. She looked up at Olivia, panic laced her voice. "Where's Elliot?"

The detective looked around quickly and realized he hadn't followed them into the courtroom. She looked down at her daughter. "He'll be here, he promised. You can do this, Jessie."

Jess's bottom lip quivered. She let go of Olivia's hand and walked to the front of the courtroom. She was sworn in and took the witness stand. The teen gazed in front of her from the stand. She watched as Alex stood and walked out from behind the table. She peered around the tall blonde to Olivia, who mouthed 'It's okay.' The smaller brunette nodded back, but her eyes welled up with tears. Jess looked at her father. Brian Nudds had a twisted smile on his face. Her stomach flipped and she was about to run out of the courtroom and throw up when one of the doors opened at the back of the room. The young woman's eyes flashed to the door and saw the face of the man, the only man, she had ever thought of as a dad. The door closed behind Elliot. He nodded at Jess as his blue eyes met her green ones. The sick feeling in her stomach dulled and she nodded back to him.

Alex addressed her. "Could you state your name, for the record?"

"Jessica O'Malley."

The tall blonde came towards her as she asked her next question. "Do you know the defendant, Brian Nudds?"

Jess nodded. "Yes."

Alex pressed on. "Miss O'Malley, how do you know Brian Nudds?"

The teen looked from Alex, to Olivia and then to Elliot. If she could do this, if she could get through this testimony she would be rid of Nudds forever. The stranglehold he had on her and the fear of facing him and telling what he had done to her would be over. The three adults who loved her most were right there with her. The tears had dried. She looked at her father. "Brian Nudds is my father, and my attacker."

After her testimony Judge Donnelley called a recess until 1PM. Jess hugged Olivia and Alex. Elliot went over to them and the teen threw her arms around him. He hugged her back. His partner looked at him, looked down at Jess and then nodded to the courtroom doors. Elliot nodded back. "Come on, Kid. Let's get outta here."

Jess looked from Elliot to Olivia and Alex. "Let's go."

The women looked down at her but Alex spoke. "Liv and I need a minute. We'll be right out."

Olivia nodded. "It's okay. Go with El."

The teen nodded and she and Elliot left the courtroom. Olivia looked at Alex. "Can I meet you in your office, around 5?"

Alex nodded and was about to say something when Steele interrupted. "Tonight? Alexandra, I'm surprised you and your…" he cocked his right eyebrow and said with disgust, "girlfriend aren't going to have a celebratory fuck right here in the courtroom. But I guess the office was always your favorite place."

Olivia couldn't stop herself. "Steele, you have got to be the pettiest excuse for a man there ever was."

"Ooooo…tough words coming from the butch cop," he said sarcastically. Then he leaned in. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Alexandra loves when you lick that little spot between her legs. Tell me Detective, does she call out your name when you fuck her? Does she claim you're the best?"

That was the last straw. Alex looked devastated; Olivia almost pulled her gun out and shot the Deputy District Attorney right there, in the courtroom. The detective looked at Jim Steele and shook her head. "You disgust me and believe me it takes a lot considering I hunt down rapists and child molesters all day. You," she looked him up and down, "are pathetic. I would actually feel sorry for you if I had the capacity. Lucky for me I don't waste my time on fucking prick bigots."

Steele turned to Alex and smiled sickly at her. "You know, Alexandra, I can see why you turned. This dyke is feisty. You always liked that in a man, so it shouldn't surprise me you would seek it out in a woman."

Alex shot Steele a look of disgust. "If you ever talk about my girlfriend or anyone else using that term again, I'll have you centered." She shook her head "What happened to you? When we were friends you would have never spoken that way." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Olivia is the most incredible woman I have ever known. She is the only person I want to be with and I think it's fitting that you will never find anyone as extraordinary as she is. You have changed, Jim. What you have become makes me sick." She took Olivia's hand, the detective not resisting and they walked out of the courtroom.

The large group of people that had been standing there before they had gone into court, plus Captain Cragen greeted them. Jess smiled at the sight of her mothers holding hands. Something was going on between them. Although she wasn't sure what it was she was happy to see any kind of affection between them. "Can Richard and I have dinner together?"

Olivia and Alex nodded, but the detective spoke first. "Sure, you can have it at home if you want. Alex and I have to work on something anyway, at her office."

Cragen looked at the group assembled around him. He had wanted to take Casey back to the Penthouse but she had insisted on staying. He knew the reporter cared for Jess and figured it wouldn't hurt to stay, at least until Jess's testimony was over. What he hadn't expected was her kindness and understanding towards his detective's son. Once Elliot had entered the courtroom Richard Stabler had fallen apart. Ken tried to ease the teenager's mind, but it had little effect on him. Richard had sat down on a wooden bench with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Casey had gone over and sat with him. The Captain had stayed close to them and had heard every word she had said. The ex-A.D.A. had always been able to comfort and extract information from people without making them feel as if they were being interrogated. It was nice to see some things never changed. He cleared his throat. "I hate to be a killjoy but, Elliot, you and Casey have some business to take care of."

They both nodded to him, said their goodbyes and left. Cragen looked down at Jess. "You did good, Kid. I'm proud of you."

Jess grinned at him. "Thanks, Cap."

He nodded to everyone else and left.

Ken smiled at Jess and pulled her in again for a hug. They had known each other for years and had a younger-sister-older-brother type relationship. "Call me later if you need to. We'll have lunch next week when you're off school."

"Thanks for coming, Ken," she said and held him tighter.

"I love you, Jess."

"I love you, too."

They let go of each other. Ken said goodbye to everyone and left the courthouse.

Richard looked at his girlfriend. "I can go home with you now if you want."

She shook her head. "You have that quiz in bio at 1. Go, I'll be fine."

Richard hugged her. "I'll be over as soon as I'm done."

The young woman hugged him back and then let him go. She smiled at him. "I know. I love you, Stabler."

He took her chin in his right hand. "I love you, too, O'Malley." He dropped his hand to his side and nodded at his girlfriend's mothers. "Thanks for helping Jess with everything. She means everything to me and you both protect her when I can't. I can't ever do anything to repay you for that other than promise to always protect her when you're not around."

The women were speechless, all three of them. Olivia found her words. "Richard, you are one of the best people in Jess's life. She loves you very much and I…we" she corrected herself, "are very proud of you. You have proven yourself to be a wonderful man that we can trust. Alex and I know that you would do anything to keep Jess safe."

Alex nodded in agreement. "We wouldn't trust her with anyone else, Richard."

He smiled at them, turned, kissed Jess and left the courthouse. Jess turned to the taller women. "I really do love him. I don't know how or why but we belong together." She gave them a half-smile. "Kindda like you two."

They smiled back at their daughter. She had done what, at one time, seemed impossible. She had faced Brian Nudds, in a court of law and testified against him. Jess might never know it, but she singlehandedly put a pedophile in jail for life with her testimony that day. The three women walked out of the courthouse, down the street to a small diner and had lunch. Although Olivia and Alex were having a hard time sitting across from each other, they did it with smiles on their faces. Today was Jess's day, and they'd be damned if they were going to take that away from her.

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Thursday December 13****th****, 13:15**

Although she had been able to take the day off of school, Jess still had homework, not to mention an English mid-term paper to write. She sat up in her bed with her knees drawn up and her laptop resting on her thighs. Although she was in mid-thought she could sense the detective standing in the doorway. She stopped and looked over the laptop.

Olivia had showered and dressed in an old t-shirt and sweatpants. She hadn't wanted to sleep in Alex's bed, but she did need to catch some shuteye. "What are you doing?" she asked Jess from the doorway of the teen's room.

"Homework. Will you lie here…while I work?"

The detective smiled and nodded. She walked over to the bed, opened up the covers and slid in beside her daughter. Jess turned her head and looked down at Olivia. "What's going on with you and Ally?"

"Nothing. We are both very busy at work." Olivia didn't make eye contact with her, a fact that didn't go unnoticed.

"You're lying. I know you are, but at this point I don't care." Jess looked away, ditched her laptop for a book sitting on her beside table. She stretched her legs out flat on the bed. "I have decided instead of pressing the issue I am going to read to you."

Olivia grinned and actually looked up at her. Jess cocked her right eyebrow as she held up the novel for the older woman to see. "Now, this isn't as smutty as some of the stuff you read, but it is funny."

"Go on," The taller brunette coaxed.

A grin found its way across Jess's lip. "It's about a chick bounty hunter who isn't exactly stealthy at her job. She's very clumsy and usually accidentally sets her hair on fire. Oh yeah, and in every book so far she has managed to have the car she was using blow up in some bizarre way."

"You're really going to read to me?"

Jess nodded her head. The grin disappeared from Olivia's face. She moved her head off the pillow and placed it on her daughter's belly. She stretched her right arm over the kid and gripped the side of the football jersey Jess was wearing in the fist of her right hand. The smaller brunette was stunned. In the over seven month she had known Olivia Benson the detective had never once acted like this. She had never turned to her for comfort. Jess held the book in her left hand and put her right hand on the top of her foster mother's head. "Its okay, Livie, I'm right here." The teen started to stroke the detective's hair. She felt Olivia try to stifle a sob. The role-reversal was hard for Jess to stomach. _Whatever happened to Livie had cut her deep_. The young woman tried to comfort the taller one as best she could. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

A tear fell from Olivia's right eye and slipped down her cheek. Jess used her thumb and wiped it away. She continued to try to sooth the woman lying half on-top of her. "In a few weeks it'll be official, Livie. No one will be able to take us away from each other. I'll be yours, forever. We're gonna get through this, I swear."

Olivia lay there, unable to move or speak. She wanted to tell Jess how much she loved her, how she couldn't wait for that piece of paper forever linking them to be signed. She just didn't have the strength. Olivia was broken. The one person she loved most had betrayed her, the one person she had actually trusted with her heart. Alexandra Cabot had broken her.

The young woman started to read. Olivia listened to her daughter's voice and held her close. She inhaled her soft scent and drifted into sleep. It had only taken about six pages for Olivia's head to get heavy and her breathing to deepen. Jess knew the detective was sleeping. She stopped reading and set the book down on the nightstand. The teen moved slowly and replaced her body with a pillow. The older woman cuddled up to it and never woke. Jess grabbed her laptop, a couple of notebooks and textbooks and left her room. She set everything down on the kitchen table. She then went through the fridge and found everything she would need to make the meal she wanted to cook.

When Olivia woke next she had no idea what time it was, although it was getting very dark outside. She could smell something amazing cooking in the kitchen. Jess didn't have a clock in her room, so she looked at her watch. 4:45PM. She got out from under the covers and walked into the kitchen. "What's cookin'?"

Richard Stabler and Jess turned and smiled at her. The young woman was sitting at the table pouring over a textbook and notebook. The young man was standing at the counter pouring a concoction of sauces into a Ziplock bag. "Nothing yet, just getting the marinade ready for the steaks," Richard said, holding up the bag.

Olivia looked between them. "You're gonna fry steaks for dinner?"

"Nope, we are gonna grill 'em," Jess said, grinning.

"There is over two feet of snow out on the terrace and it's roughly 25 degrees out. How are you gonna grill the steaks?" Olivia asked, her trademarked crooked smile gracing her face.

This made Jess's grin a full-on smile. She hadn't seen the brunette smile like that in days. "Richard said he would shovel a path to the grill and as long as he could shovel a path to the hot tub. It's still running right?"

"Yes, it's still running. I trust you two to behave tonight." She leveled a look at both teenagers.

Richard nodded. "We will."

Jess nodded. "We promise."

The brunette rolled her eyes and shook her head. She was only half convinced they were telling the truth. Her eyes settled on Jess. "If you haven't started dinner yet, what smells so good?"

"Ahhh…well that would be _your_ dinner," Jess said, standing up and walking over to the fridge.

"_My_ dinner?" The grin was back on Olivia's face.

"Yes, yes…your dinner. Well, you and Cass's dinner." The young woman opened the fridge door and Olivia went over to her. "What is it?"

Jess shook her head and said sarcastically, "Liver and beats, Livie…your favorite."

The grin became wider on the detective's face. She reached into the fridge and picked up the container. "Chicken cacciatore."

"Congratulations, you win the washer and dryer," Jess said, in her best game show announcer voice.

Olivia turned and hugged her. "Thanks, sweetheart."

"You're welcome. If you are meeting Ally at her office you had better get your bubblegum together here."

The taller brunette looked down at the shorter one. "Bubblegum?"

"What? Roll with it," Jess said, with a 'get with the program' look on her face. "Get your shit together, Olivia. Better?" she asked with a raised brow.

The detective smirked. "Naw…bubblegum is way better." She turned and disappeared down the hall to Alex's bedroom. It actually depressed Olivia to walk into the bedroom. Seeing Alex's things; the bed where they lay in each other arms. It even smelled slightly like her, even though she wasn't currently in the room. The detective decided she was going to start looking for apartments that night and make appointments in the morning for Saturday. She hoped the Allen case would be wrapped up by then. Friday was usually the night he chose to rape his victims.

In the meantime she couldn't continue to have her things in Alex's bedroom. She packed up as much of her clothing as she could and threw it on the floor in the spare bedroom. She collected her toiletries out of the bathroom and put them in the Jack-and-Jill bathroom between the spare room and Jess's bedroom. The detective picked up other odds and ends that were hers and tossed them into the other bedroom.

Olivia sighed and grabbed the small bag she packed when she knew she probably wouldn't be home for a day or two. If Desean Allen was going after Casey tomorrow, Olivia wasn't going to let her friend face that alone. She packed a change of clothing and some toiletries in the bag. She took out her service weapon, shield and cell phone from the nightstand on her side of the bed and left the room for the kitchen. When she arrived Richard was alone. She set the bag on the floor, took the food Jess had made out of fridge and set it on the island, where Richard was now preparing the potatoes for the grill. "Things with Alex and I are pretty intense this week and Jess has had a rough go of it, too."

Richard looked up from wrapping the potatoes in foil. "I promised you and Alex I would protect her. I meant that. I know she is going to drop a bomb on me tonight; she warned me. I love Jess. No matter what she tells me I will never turn and run from her. I will hold her and face whatever it is with her. I promise you that. You trust my Dad with your life everyday; trust me with your daughter…please."

Olivia smiled warmly at the young man. _He really did love her little girl_. "I do, Richard. You have been nothing but amazing with Jess. I do trust you. Just…hold her close tonight, okay?"

He nodded in acknowledgement. The detective knew what Jess was going to tell him and she was making sure the young man would comfort his girlfriend.

Jess appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Although Olivia was packing up food and Richard was preparing food she only saw one thing, the bag on the floor. "You're not coming home in the morning?"

The older woman turned and looked at the younger one. "I'm not sure yet. This case is starting to come together."

The smaller brunette looked up into Olivia's deep brown eyes. "Keep her safe." Her bottom lip started to quiver. "Don't let Cass get raped."

Olivia's jaw dropped as shock etched itself across her face. "Why would you say that?"

"I'm not an idiot! The Cowboy Rapist story has been playing in the papers and on the news for weeks now. You've got Cass acting like, and living like, all his victims. You made her his next target."

The detective went over to her daughter and hugged her. "I will not let anything happen to Casey. She is my friend, and has been for a very long time. I told you things are starting to come together. The next 24 hours are probably going to be very busy."

"Come back. Come back to me and Ally…with all your fingers and toes," Jess said through the tears forming.

Olivia smiled sweetly. "I will come back, I swear."

"Tell everyone that," Jess choked back a sob. "Tell them all to come back."

The brunette kissed the top of Jess's head. "I will." She looked at Richard, who had a potato in his hand but was staring at the women in the kitchen with a withdrawn look in his face. His Dad went to work everyday and put his life on the line. Growing up he had never shared a lot about his job with his kids. Richard understood why. It also made him realize that his father was in danger. Olivia looked at him. "Richard, I'm going to see Elliot in a bit. Do you want me to tell him anything?"

Richard nodded. "Yeah…ummm." He squinted his eyes slightly. _God he looked like his father when he did that_. "Tell him I said Hey."

_Like father, like son._ Olivia nodded, knowing the young man meant to say more and needed to hear more. She let go of Jess and packed the food in the bag. The detective kissed her daughter on the cheek. "I love you, Jessie."

Jess looked back at her with tear-stained green eyes. "I love you, too."

With that, Olivia turned, grabbed her leather jacket and left the condo.

**A.D.A. Alexandra Cabot's Office**

**One Hogan Place**

**Thursday December 13****th****, 18:00**

Olivia knocked on the door to the office and was told to come in. Alex took off her glasses, rose from her chair behind her desk as her detective walked into her office and closed the door. The brunette walked over to the A.D.A. and Alex walked around to the front to her desk. Olivia wasn't sure where to begin. She had spent a great deal of time over the last 24 hours thinking about her family. She decided to start with work. "So we have a bit of a snag with the Allen case."

The blonde raised her brow. She was surprised with the topic her detective had chosen to talk about; she also realized that she was behind in the case her SVU squad was trying to close. "What kind of a snag?"

"Fin and Munch were tailing Allen when he left the store. He took the subway up to the Madison Avenue condo and waited for Casey. Once she left the building, headed for the subway he followed her; Munch and Fin followed them both. Unfortunately, they lost Allen and Casey when everyone changed trains. He followed her to the Times Building. The guys called Casey but she was already in a meeting and her cell was off. She got the message after the meeting and called them back. By that time an hour and a half had gone by and Allen was long gone. He somehow managed to find out Casey's true identity. He called her cell and left a message."

Alex was in shock. _How had she been so out of touch with her current case? Maybe it was because she was systematically throwing her family away? Or was it that she was trying to keep the case involving her daughter on track?_ She was losing it. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Alex looked at her. "What did the message say?"

The detective forced herself to concentrate on the case. She took out her note pad and read off one of the pages: "I don't know why you lied to me, Cyana Hildebrandt, or should I say Casey Novak. You didn't have to do that. I thought you were a good girl; a nice girl. Now I see what you really are, a liar. That makes me angry."

"This is more than a snag, Olivia. Allen is out for blood now. How the hell did this happen?" Alex asked as she narrowed her eyes.

Olivia sighed. "We're doing the best we can. Munch and Fin are two of the best detective in the city, Alex. There were just too many people at the station to wade through."

The A.D.A. crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell was Novak doing, going to work, anyways? I though we told her to take it easy?"

"We did, but we didn't tell her she couldn't go to work," Olivia shot back, narrowing her eyes. "She had to take a meeting with her editor. A story she was working on was breaking and he wanted to know how she wanted to play it."

Alex threw up her arms in frustration. "Oh, well…as long as she didn't lose a chance to see her name in the by-line!"

The detective didn't know what to think. Alex had never warmed to Casey. She tolerated her for lack of a better term. Ever since the Pharaoh case, though, her tolerance level had lowered when it came to the ex-A.D.A. Olivia hadn't pushed either woman about it but it had been evident that something had happened between them, which is why she had been so surprised the night before when Casey had asked her to talk to Alex and get the 'whole story' before making any decisions about their relationship. "Alex, I don't know what happened between you and Casey but you can't let that cloud your judgments or calls in this case! _We_ told her to take it easy. If you didn't want her going to work at all you should have insisted on that. I can't believe she actually defended you last night!"

"Defended me?" Alex narrowed her eyes at her detective. "You told her what I did, didn't you?"

Olivia nodded her head. "Yes, I did. I needed to talk to someone."

"And you chose her?"

This time it was Olivia who threw up her arms in frustration. "Yes! Yes, I chose her. What the hell is it with you and Casey?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "You should ask Novak what is with me and her."

"First of all, I'm asking you. Secondly, Novak defended you; so obviously you are the only one that has a problem."

"Oh, I'll bet she defended me. Tell me Olivia, what did she have to say? Did she try and get you to screw around with her to even the score?" It came out of her mouth before Alex could stop herself; and it came out in an icy tone.

Olivia's jaw dropped slightly as her eyes narrowed. "You have got to be kidding me with this! Casey told me that I should talk to you before I made any rash decisions about our relationship. She questioned just how good friends you and Steele were; that maybe you were strictly co-workers at this point and that's why you didn't tell him about Jess and me. Casey was only thinking of us: you, me and Jess." The detective shook her head. "Casey isn't interested in me; her motives were pure, Alex."

The A.D.A. sighed and closed her eyes. She wasn't losing it; she had already lost it. The blonde was surprised that Casey hadn't told Olivia about their exchange after Markus Stanley was arrested. She opened her eyes again, looking in the deep brown ones staring at her. "I'm sorry. I have no right to judge anyone after what I have done."

"What is going on with you?" Olivia asked, genuinely concerned at this point. She hated what Alex had done to her, but she loved her.

She shook her head. "I don't know anymore. This case…this case…" Alex shook her head. She sat down, buried her face in her hands and started to cry.

Olivia knelt down and stroked the long blonde hair. Yesterday the sight of her lover, or ex-lover at this point, made her physically sick. Now all Olivia wanted to do was comfort the woman crying in front of her. _How could her emotions do such a 180?_ "What case? Which one? Al, you are juggling so many I don't know which one you are talking about."

As much as Alex didn't want to look up she knew she had to; she owed her detective that much. She looked up at Olivia. "Jess's case. I thought working with Jim again would be a good thing. He and I have never seen eye-to-eye on all cases, but that usually makes our arguments better. A little bit like you and El. He was a good prosecutor when he worked for me." She looked away. "He's different now. Jim looks the same, but he is a totally different person." Alex looked back at Olivia. "I have had to fight him a lot on this case, and not the way we used to."

The brunette looked into the now dark blue eyes of the woman who had broken her heart. "Why did you tell me he was your old friend? You led me to believe you still saw each other; were still in each other's lives."

"I didn't want you to worry about Nudds's trial. That was my part to handle. I wanted you to focus on Jess and your own work and let me, for once, handle something. We both knew I wouldn't be sitting first chair, which meant that already I wouldn't be completely in charge. When Jack told me Jim would be first chair I truly thought that we would fall into our old routine and the case would go smoothly. Jim and I _are_ old friends. I didn't lie about that. I just never told you that we hadn't seen each other in over three years."

"Why did you feel like you had to 'handle' this all on your own? We are a team, Al, at least we were. You should have told me."

Alex's eyes filled with tears again at the words of her lover. "You always get my shit together, Liv. You are the one that makes my cases for me; and when I need more you are the one I ask to get it for me."

A smirk found its way at the right side of the detective's face. "Uh, Al…that's my job."

"I know! And prosecuting the perps is mine. I should have been able to handle this. I just…I wanted this. I wanted this for Jess. You saved her that night in the diner. Elliot got Nudds to sign over his parental rights to her. _I_ was supposed to _convict_ Nudd," Alex said with a disappointed tone at the end.

"You are going to convict him, Al." Olivia sighed. _What am I doing? This woman threw me away like I was nothing and now I'm telling her she's doing a good job? Uhhhh!_ "I don't know what happened between you and Steele. I don't know what you disagreed on, what was discussed between the two of you or how you got your way…but you must have for the most part because the way that case is being prosecuted has Alexandra Cabot written all over it. You will get a conviction, for Jess and for yourself." Olivia shook her head. "You don't need me for that; you never have."

Alex looked into the deep brown eyes that always held comfort in them. "I'm sorry, Liv. I should have talked to you. I should have told you about the trouble I was having with Jim. We argued about every aspect of how to prosecute the Nudds case. You and I try to limit shoptalk when we are alone, but sometimes we talk if there is something really bothering one of us. I didn't want to make you worried so I didn't talk to you this time."

"I get it. I mean, I understand why you didn't want to talk about this shit with Steele." Olivia sighed. "Alex, I've thought a lot about everything over the last 24 hours. I don't think we should tell Jess what happened. I mean what really happened."

The A.D.A. narrowed her eyes. "I know today wasn't the right day, but Olivia when you want Jess to know, I will tell her."

"No, she has been through enough. I understand now why you didn't tell Steele about us. You weren't close anymore and you found out he was a bigot. You weren't trying to hide us; you were trying to protect us."

"You have to know that I would never hide you, or Jess from anyone unless I thought it would hurt you. Jim didn't deserve to know about our family; I never wanted him to be able to hurt us."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "He not only hurt us, he destroyed us."

"No," Alex said, shaking her head. "I did that. I destroyed us. Jim was just a means."

"What you did to us, you did to me and you; not you and Jess. She loves you, Al, and she needs you. Telling her what you did will only hurt her, and she doesn't need that."

Alex narrowed her eyes. "I've lied to Jess before and I almost lost her. I don't want to lie to her again. What exactly do you want to tell her about why you and she are moving out?"

The detective shrugged. "I don't know yet. I guess…that it just didn't work out."

"That's not going to pacify her. She's gonna want to know the truth. Olivia, I never let Jim prep Jess because I wanted to protect her from him. I'm not going to turn around and lie just to cover up what I did to protect myself from Jess hating me. She has every right to hate me."

"No," Olivia said, shaking her head. "I have every right to hate you. Our daughter is different. You've spent every waking moment over the last three weeks doing nothing _but_ protecting her from every aspect of this case, including the co-prosecutor. I think that is enough evidence to prove just how much you love Jess, just how far you are willing to go to protect your daughter. Jess deserves a mother like that."

Alex smiled meekly. "It's a good job she has two of them. You've done nothing but protect her and keep her in-line since the moment you met her." She looked down for a moment before looking back at her detective. "Thanks, Liv. Jess is everything to me. I love her. I…I don't know what I would do without her."

"I know how you feel. We'll figure out what to say to her. I need you to do something for me."

The A.D.A. couldn't believe this. _First Olivia is cordial to her, then she lets her keep Jess in her life and now she is asking for a favor?_ "Anything."

Olivia raised her brow. "Bury this thing between you and Casey. I don't know what it is; I don't care at this point. We are working a case with her; she was nice enough to let us use her as bait. The very least you could do is work out whatever it is that is going on between you two."

Alex went to speak but Olivia put her up hands, stopping her. "I don't care. Do it for Jess, do it for me…whatever. Just do it."

The A.D.A. nodded.

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Penthouse 1**

**Thursday December 13, 19:03**

The partners exchanged nods as Olivia walked into the Penthouse. She knew something was up just by the nod. "What's up?"

"Allen left her another message."

Olivia looked from her partner to Casey. "Did you see him? Are you okay?"

The strawberry blonde shook her head. "No, I didn't see him." She sighed. "I'm fine."

Elliot looked from Casey to Olivia. "She's been 'fine' since she heard the message."

Casey raised her brow and turned to the male detective. "Shut up." She turned to the brunette. "I really am fine. El has taken good care of me."

Olivia walked towards them with the bag she was carrying still strung over her shoulder and saw the phone sitting on the coffee table. "What did the message say?"

Elliot looked from Casey to his partner. "That he has seen her at work today. He liked her black coat. He also wanted to know why she had lied to him about who she was. He asked her to meet him tomorrow, at 9PM, at a bar around the corer from here."

The brunette put on the best poker face she had. "How did he get past the guys again?"

"He didn't. Fin tailed him all day and he was never at the Times building or near here; Casey never went into work. He was bluffing."

"Looks he might grab her at the bar around the corner. Did you call it into Cragen?"

Her partner nodded. "Yeah, I did. He said the same thing. He's keeping the detail on Allen going just in case he strays from the routine."

She nodded. "When are the techs coming to set-up?"

"Tomorrow, around 2PM. It's plenty of time."

Casey was tired of this routine. "Hey, I'm right here. Don't talk about this and me like I'm not even here."

The partners looked at her. "Sorry," they said in unison. "I come bearing dinner."

Casey laughed. "You had time today to make us dinner?"

The brunette shook her head with a smirk on her face. "Not a chance. However, Jess managed to complete some of her homework and make us dinner while I slept."

"Ooooooo….what did she make us?" Casey asked, knowing that Jess was a pretty good cook.

Olivia walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. Casey and her partner followed her. "Chicken cacciatore," she answered with a grin, knowing that her partner would have something to say. She set the bag with everything in it on the island in the kitchen, in order to fish out the food.

Without hesitation Elliot walked over and chimed in. "Your daughter knows you. Now, can I get in on that food or what?" He started to open the bag and dig for the food.

Olivia hit his hands away. "Or what! Hands off, El. Jess made dinner for me and Case."

He leveled a look at his partner. "I haven't eaten all day!" Elliot knew brute force would get him nowhere with the brunette, so he appealed to her good nature. His eyes became soft and his tone was gentle. "If Jess knew I hadn't eaten all day she would want me to have some. You know that. The Kid loves me."

She smiled kindly at him. Olivia took his right hand in hers and held it gently; she spoke softly. "You know what? You're right. Jess does love you. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for you. I really do appreciate everything you do for her." Her tone changed; it became louder as she twisted his hand behind him and put him in a hold. "Too bad she isn't here, El. Keep your hands off our dinner!"

"Aoooowwww…all right, alright!" Olivia let him go and pushed the bag across the island to Casey, who was laughing hysterically at the pair. "Why don't you get the food ready while I see Elliot to the door?"

The strawberry blonde was laughing so hard she could hardly get her words out. "Okay…bye, El."

"Night, Case. I'll be back in the morning." He turned to his partner. "Jesus Christ, a simple 'get lost' would have sufficed."

She cocked her head and raised her brow. "Would it, though?"

Elliot smiled at her. "Probably not."

She shook her head and grinned as they walked to the front door of the Penthouse. Once they were out of Casey's earshot, the grin faded from Olivia's face. "You need to text Richard, or call him and check in."

The detective's demeanor changed and he became serious. "Why? What happened, now?"

"When I was leaving tonight he and Jess were in the kitchen. She saw the bag I brought here and knows that it means I might not be able to come home for a day or two. She questioned me about it and I told her things were coming together on the case I was working on. Jess knows that Casey is involved and put two and two together." Olivia looked past Elliot to the kitchen to make sure the strawberry blonde didn't hear her name.

"She knows we have Casey mixed up with the Cowboy rapist?" Elliot whispered.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, and now so does Richard. Jess lost it a little bit and told me to keep Casey safe. She also told me to come back to her with all my fingers and toes. She wanted me to let you and the rest know the same thing." She looked at her partner. "Richard asked me to tell you 'Hey' from him, but I think he needs more."

He shook his head. "Ever since the Markus Stanley mess he has asked me a lot more about what I'm working on. At first I thought it was because he was scared Jess was involved through Computer Crimes." He sighed. "I think that less and less now. I think he's worried about me." Elliot narrowed his eyes. "How do you do it? How to you keep that balance between you and Jess?"

The brunette was surprised she was being asked for parenting advice from a guy who had been a father for 28 years. "It was hard in the beginning. It took a lot of me not answering her questions and her learning to ask about me and not about the case for us to find the line. Now she knows how far she can go before I clam up and won't answer her. For the most part she isn't even interested in the case, or where I am. She wants to know how_ I_ am. She wants to make sure I'm with you. She just wants to be reassured. I think that's all Richard is looking for."

Elliot was lost. He had kept his family out of his work life as much as he could over the years. While they might have thought he was cold or distant it was better than the alternative. He didn't know how to even begin reassuring his oldest son about his safety. "What do I say to him?"

"You know how to text on that thing?" Olivia asked, smiling slightly and nodding to his cell phone.

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"Just text him. It doesn't have to be some big father-son thing. Type that you are headed home, that you love him and you hope he has a good night with Jess."

"That's it? That's all it takes?" he asked in disbelief.

Olivia laughed. "Probably. Jess is pretty wordy and usually likes to chat a bit. I really can't see Richard doing that. He will probably just text you back and say goodnight." She stopped laughing. "In all seriousness, just checking in with him will probably help. It's all Jess needs most of the time. She started it. She didn't want to call; she wanted to type."

"That kindda surprises me. The Kid usually wants to hear your voice."

Olivia's face softened. "Alex told me she saw Jess re-reading the text message thread between her and me before she went to sleep. I think she likes to see what we say." She shook her head and looked away from Elliot, missing her daughter. "That it's easier for her to feel like I'm not so far away if she has something tangible to look at." She looked back at her partner. "Richard isn't like that. He doesn't need that much reassurance. He just needs to hear from you."

"Thanks, Liv." He nodded. "Call me if something breaks tonight."

She nodded back. "Will do. See ya in the morning."

Jess finished her homework while her boyfriend made dinner. True to his word Richard shoveled a path to the grill and hot tub. After dinner they both knew it was time. The pair loaded the dishwasher and sat on the large couch in the living room. Jess faced Richard. "What I am about to tell you is the hardest thing I have ever done. Testifying in court today was rough, but explaining this to you is worse." Jess sighed. "Stabler, I know you promised you wouldn't turn and run from me; that you would always be here for me no matter what." She looked down and bit her bottom lip. She looked back at him. "This is really bad. If you hear it and leave tonight I will understand. I won't judge you."

The build-up to this conversation had nearly killed Richard. He just wanted to know. Whatever it was he was ready to face it with the girl he loved. "O'Malley, honestly I won't run, I won't leave."

The tiny brunette inhaled. "Brian Nudds is uhhhh…is my father."

At first he wasn't sure he had heard Jess correctly. When she didn't say anything else he was pretty sure he had heard her. His first instinct was to kill Brian Nudds; his second was to comfort his girlfriend. _What should he say?_ "When did you find out he was your father?"

Jess was a little surprised that was the first thing out of Richard's mouth. She had expected him to be disgusted and leave. "Uhhh…yesterday morning. Apparently everyone else knew when he was arrested back in May, though.

He furrowed his brow slightly, not wanting to over-react to anything. "How do you know that?"

"I broke into Ally's briefcase and read some of the files in it. On the day he was arrested he signed away his parental rights to me. Alex is the attorney of record on the form and your Dad is the witness."

It was a lot to take in, all at once, just sitting on a couch. Richard didn't know what to say; he didn't know where to go from where they were. "How do you feel?"

As legitimate as the question was, Jess was scared to answer it truthfully. Stabler had stuck around for the worst of it; but was he really going to stay with her if he knew the truth? She bit her bottom lip, again, and furrowed her brow. "Gross, dirty, violated, ashamed…embarrassed…" She started to cry.

Richard leaned over and hugged her. He pulled her to him and held her. "You're not dirty or gross. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I won't ever let anyone hurt you again. I love you, Jess. I'm not leaving, I'm right here."

They talked more after Jess calmed down. It was late, Olivia was on a detail and Alex wasn't home yet. Richard didn't want to leave her alone so he lay in her bed, in sweatpants and a white cotton t-shirt and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. His phone beeped, indicating a text message. He thumbed the lock off the screen of this iPhone and read the message. "I'm at home now. Take care of your girl. I love you Richard. -Dad."

The teen sighed and wrote back. "Staying with Jess. She told me about Nudds being her father. Don't know how to help her other than not leaving her alone. HELP ME."

Elliot hadn't received many text messages. It always surprised him when his phone made the noise that indicated someone had sent him a text. It came on the heals of the one he had finally sent to his son. He read it and swallowed hard. Elliot wrote back. "Stay with her, hold her if she will let you but don't force her. Tell her she isn't dirty; she probably feels she is. Tell her you won't leave, that you love her. You'll do fine, Richard."

Richard looked at the response. It reassured him that he was already doing everything his father suggested. He wrote back one last message. "I'm on it. I won't leave her, I love her. Thanks, Dad."

As Elliot read the message from his son he smiled. Olivia had been right. It really wasn't that hard. He sent one last text message that night. "Your daughter and my son are fine. Thanks, Liv."

Elliot wasn't the only person Olivia received a text from that night. Jess had texted her and told her that she had explained everything to Richard and he hadn't bolted from the condo. She asked if he could stay the night. Olivia and Alex had been sent the same text messages and they both replied that they were proud of their daughter for being honest with her boyfriend. They also told her he was welcome to spend the night.

When Alex finally arrived home, it was late. She went to check in on Jess and was surprised to find her and Richard Stabler in bed together. She walked into the room and up to the bed. Both teens had clothing on. Jess was lying on Richard's chest and his arm was around her and resting on the small of her back. Even in his sleep he was protecting her. Alex left the room and closed the door. She walked into her own room and tried to decompress.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Six: On the Other Side**

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Friday December 14, 07:05 **

Elliot let himself into the Penthouse. His partner was lying on the couch circling things in the paper. He smiled at her. "How long have you been up for?"

She gave him a small smile. "Didn't really fall asleep."

"Casey?" he asked, cocking his head.

Olivia nodded. "Sleeping like a baby in the master bedroom."

He held up a paper bag. "Bagel?"

"You read my mind. I'll start the coffee." Olivia put down the paper and abandoned the couch for the kitchen. Elliot followed. "You know you can sleep on this detail, right?"

"I know," she said, with her back to him as she made the coffee. "I have a lot on my mind and the last two nights have given me time to think."

Elliot opened the bag and fished out the bagels. "Too much time."

She turned to him with two plates in her hand and set them on the island he was standing in front of. She shrugged. "Maybe"

He placed a bagel with cream cheese on each plate and looked at his partner. "Lay it on me. What have you concluded over the last two nights?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You're not going to like what I have to say."

"It isn't about me liking or disliking your decision." He narrowed his eyes slightly, indicating he was serious. "It's about your quality of life; yours and Jess's."

As the coffee brewed Olivia told Elliot about her decision to leave Alex. She also informed him that she was going to let her ex continue to be in her daughter's life it was something Jess wanted.

"So, you're gonna lie to the Kid, _again_?" he asked at the end.

"The truth is ugly and I don't want her to know what Alex did."

"Jess has been lied to her whole life by the people she loves, including me and Alex. Don't you think it's about time for a little truth?" Elliot countered.

"What Alex did, she did to me. She didn't cheat on Jess; she cheated on me. She didn't tell Steele about Jess and me to shield us from him. She was protecting us. I don't want to take Alex away from Jess; she loves her. I agree that she has been lied to by a lot of people, but telling her the truth about this will only take someone who loves her away from her. I can't do that to my daughter, El."

"What happens when she finds out? You know at some point she will. How do you think she is going to feel? Not just about what Alex did to you, but what you've done to Jess herself."

Olivia sighed. "I don't know. I haven't been able to think that far ahead yet. I don't even know what to tell her about me and Alex splitting up."

"You'd better think fast. Jess is a smart kid; she knows you and Alex very well. When are you moving out?"

"I'm going though the paper now and went though some on-line sites last night. I'm gonna make appointments today to look at places tomorrow." She turned and grabbed two mugs from a cubbert.

Elliot's brow shot up. "Wow…so this is for real? You and Alex are over."

She turned back to face her partner with the empty mugs still in her hands. "Have I not been speaking English for the last five minutes?" Her tone was slightly annoyed. "Yes, it's over. O.V.E.R." She set the mugs down finally and turned to get the coffee pot.

"Did she apologize to you? Does she want you back?" he asked.

Olivia poured coffee into both mugs. "Yes, she is very sorry and swears it will never happen again. She begged me not to leave, not to take Jess."

"You don't believe her?" he asked.

"I do believe her," She said with some hesitation. Then she narrowed her eyes at her partner. "Are you suggesting I forgive her?"

"Could you?"

"That's not what I asked. Are you saying I _should_ forgive her?"

"Only you can answer that, Liv. What Alex did is awful; and believe me when I get a chance she will hear from me just how awful. If you could forgive her for cheating, is it worth throwing everything else away?"

As much as Olivia didn't want to she started to cry. "Elliot, she broke my heart. I don't know that I can forgive that."

He nodded his head. "I'll go with you tomorrow to look at apartments."

It didn't take long for the scent of freshly brewed coffee to wake Casey out of the coma-like sleep she had been having. As scared as she was about the day ahead of her she had been exhausted the night before. Knowing that Olivia was right there in the condo with her helped ease her mind as well. Casey padded out, barefoot, to the kitchen in nothing but a Yankees jersey, panties and slouch socks.

As she turned the corner to the kitchen and came into full-view both detectives looked at her; Olivia nodded and smiled sweetly at the sleepy strawberry blonde. Elliot's mouth dropped slightly as he swallowed. He looked the reporter up and down. Casey had legs that seemed to never end; and although they disappeared halfway up her thighs under the jersey Elliot imagined that they continued forever. _Well, okay…maybe not forever._ He and Casey had always been 'buddy' friends. He respected her and enjoyed her company immensely, but never really looked at her quite the way he did that morning. Even with no bra on, and he did notice that she wasn't wearing one, her breasts were perky and bounced without the support that they normally had. Their eyes finally met. Elliot licked his lips and Casey smirked. "Like what you see, Stabler?"

Elliot turned beet red. Olivia and Casey threw their heads back and laughed. Through her laughter the brunette managed to procure a mug out of one of the cupboards and pour Casey a cup of coffee. She took it, but couldn't drink it right away because she was still laughing. Olivia looked at her partner and shook her head. "Hey, El, I'm not sure if you've met Casey Novak before…but this is her." She pointed her finger at the reporter.

"Yeah, we've met," was all he could get out. Elliot was so embarrassed. He hadn't meant to ogle her the way he had. Casey just looked so sexy in the jersey; he couldn't help it. He looked at her. "I'm sorry, Case."

Casey had regained most of her composure. "Elliot, we have known each other for what, like seven or eight years? You don't have to apologize," she said, shaking her head slightly, still grinning.

He sighed and looked at his partner. "Why don't you go home and sleep? I'll call you if something happens." While he had wanted a subject change he hadn't mean for the mood to shift so quickly.

The grin disappeared from Casey's face, as did a lot of the colour. Olivia looked from her partner to strawberry blonde and then back to Elliot. "Actually I was thinking I might stay here and catch some shut-eye." Truthfully, she didn't want to go back to Alex's place. Jess would be gone by the time she got there, as would the A.D.A. but she had no desire to be there, even by herself. "The techs will be coming by in a couple of hours to start setting up the cameras. I can oversee that and give Cragen a break."

Elliot raised his brow. "You sure?"

She nodded back to him. "Yeah."

He looked at Casey. "What's on the docket for us today?"

"Business as usual. I have a couple of meetings to go to at work. I have to finish the story I've been working on here and submit it by the deadline. Come back here and wait to meet Allen around the corner." Casey said it all as if it was business as usual. The detectives couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing.

Olivia held up her right hand in a high-five position and looked at Elliot. He looked back at her, raised his hand and hit hers, giving her a high-five. "I'm officially tagging you in. I'm out. Night, Case," she said as she let go of Elliot's hand and looked at the reporter.

She nodded back. "Night, Liv. Try and get some sleep…seriously," Casey said.

Olivia nodded. "Yes, Ma'am." She headed for the bedroom where she had stashed the bag she had brought in. The detective shed her service weapon, badge and most of her clothing. She pealed back the covers and sank into the bed. She pulled the covers up around herself and thumbed her iPhone awake and sent a text before she actually closed her eyes. "Going to sleep. Luv u Jessie. Miss u. Still have all my fingers and toes."

The detective set the phone down on the pillow beside her and waited for the message that she was sure would come very soon. Although it did, Olivia had fallen asleep before she heard the beep, indicating it was there.

Casey showered, dressed and was ready for work within an hour. Elliot went into the bedroom to tell his partner they were leaving. He saw the pile of clothing on the floor and walked over to the bed to see if Olivia was actually sleeping. She was. He looked down at her and smiled. She needed the shut-eye and he was glad she was getting it. Elliot left the room; and minutes later he and Casey left the condo for the Times building.

**620 Eighth Avenue**

**The New York Times Building**

**14:45**

It had been a fairly routine day for Casey, all things considered. Her meetings at work had gone well and Elliot was keeping a pretty low profile. He was also letting her work and not aggravating her, which was a nice change from the day before. She was starting to get hungry so when the detective came up to her and asked if she wanted to go for lunch she nodded. "Yeah, sure. There is a diner just down the street that everyone goes to. They make a mean Philly cheese steak." She smiled at him. "I'll even buy 'cause you've been such a good boy today."

Although she had used a condescending tone Elliot didn't care. He was getting a free lunch out of the deal. "You know, Case, it's so nice working with you again." He was grinning as he spoke.

Casey stood and ended up in Elliot's personal space, face to face with him. She smirked. "You just like it when I prance around in nothing but an old jersey and panties."

He was going to apologize _again_ for his behavior that morning in the kitchen, but decided that wasn't what Casey wanted. The detective never gave the reporter an inch. His grin grew wider. "And socks. Don't forget the socks."

The strawberry blonde broke first. She her smirk grew into a full-on smile as she chuckled. "God forbid, we forget about the fuckin' socks." She turned and grabbed her coat off the back of the chair she had been sitting on.

Elliot put on his jacket and continued the banter. "Oh, they _made_ the outfit, Case."

As she put her arms through the sleeves of her jacket, grabbed her purse and walked to out of the office, with Elliot right behind her, she said over her shoulder in a quiet tone. "And here I thought it was my breasts that made the outfit."

The detective raised his brow as they walked through the lobby of the building. "Well, they didn't hurt that outfit, I'll tell you that."

They walked out of the building and down the street to the diner. In Casey's absence after being censured and then inevitably disbarred, a hole had been left for both the detective and the reporter. Elliot and Casey had gotten along almost immediately. It had taken the rest of the squad a bit longer to warm to her. They had always shared this buddy-type relationship. There was almost never any sexual tension between them. They talked about sports and cars; drank beer together and had never once danced. For the first time in their relationship there seemed to be a small flirtation growing between them. It actually took Casey's mind off of what was really going on; it was a fun distraction. Unfortunately, it didn't last long.

Elliot and Casey ordered and had only been talking for a few minutes when the detective's cell phone rang. "Stabler"

"Elliot, it's John. I'm tailing Allen. He has been reading a paper at the coffee shop across from the Times building for about an hour. He saw you and Casey come out of the building. He left the coffee place and is headed for the diner."

The detective's face changed and Casey saw the lightheartedness drain from his features, replaced by the numbness of being an SVU detective. "Okay, thanks." He turned, his eyes darted to the door as it opened and then he slowly turned back and set his eyes on Casey as he spoke. "He just entered the diner. Are you following him or in the car?"

"I'm on my way in. What do you think he's up to?"

"Same thing you think he's up to, stalking Casey. He's had more contact with her than any of the other victims. He is becoming more confident. Stalking her out in the open like this is proof of that."

Munch walked into the diner and sat at the counter. Allen was sitting in a booth at the other end of the diner from Casey and Elliot. From where Munch was sitting he could see the reflection of the whole diner in the mirror behind the counter. Elliot couldn't see Allen at all and Casey could look directly into his eyes if she wanted to. Casey looked at Elliot. "He's looking at me."

He nodded his head and mouthed. "Okay" to her.

"John, do you have a visual?"

"Yeah, I can see the whole diner from where I am. I got my eye on the bird. Just have lunch with Casey; I'll call you again if I think something is up."

"Sounds good." Elliot hung up and looked at Casey. The colour had drained from the reporter's face. "Munch can see Allen. You and I need to have a nice, normal lunch and get back to your office."

She nodded and appeared to look almost through the detective. "Okay." It had come out sounding nothing like her normal tone. She wanted to get his guy, but the thought of what was to come tonight in order to get him still terrified her.

Elliot squinted his eyes at her. "Hey…hey," he said trying to get her attention, trying to pull her out of her own thoughts. "I'm right here. The techs are wiring the Penthouse as we speak. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Casey's eyes focused, she smiled slightly and sighed. "I know."

The pair talked while they waited for their food. The flirtation was gone and what was left was almost animal-like instinct. Casey needed Elliot to survive and he would do whatever it took to keep her out of harm's way. Lunch came and they ate in silence until most of their food was gone. Casey looked at Elliot. "He's leaving."

Elliot raised his brow. "Okay. John will call me once they are outside. Did Allen see you looking at him?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

Desean Allen paid for the coffee and sandwich he had eaten and left the diner. Munch paid for the burger he had eaten and was on his way out to tail the suspect. Casey breathed a sigh of relief. "He's really gone now. I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick before we head back, okay?"

The detective reached for his wallet. "You can't wait until we get back to your office?"

Casey looked at him with an 'are you kidding' look on her face. "I have to go. I'm sorry; having a rapist stalking me makes me nervous. Can I please go?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, go, go…" he waved his left hand in a shooing motion. "I'll get the check."

"I thought I was buying?" she grinned.

Elliot looked at her and feigned annoyance. "And if your bladder wasn't the size of a peanut you would be buying."

"Thanks, El. Hey, watch my purse, would ya?" she said over her shoulder.

He rolled his eyes and looked at the purse, which was slung over the back of the chair Casey had been sitting in, as if it was going to roll over or perform some other dog-like trick. _It's a bag, what could any woman need to haul around all day in a bag?_ _Liv didn't have one; neither did Jess. What was in there?_ He leaned over and was about to open it when his cell phone rang. It startled him so badly he actually looked in the direction Casey had left in, half expecting her to be standing there calling him. She wasn't there.

"Stabler," he barked into the phone as he sat up.

"I lost Allen! I got outside and he turned down an alley. When I looked down the alley he was gone. Is Novak with you?"

"Oh shit!" Elliot bolted out of the chair, through the tables of patrons and over to the women's bathroom. He barged through the doors only to find the room empty. It was freezing in the room; the only window in it was open. He quickly checked in all of the stalls. "John, she went to the bathroom, but she's not here now. Fuck!" He punched the last stall door. "The alley he went down, are you still there?"

"Yeah."

Elliot went over to the window and looked out it. He couldn't see Munch. "I'm looking out the window of the ladies' room in the diner. This isn't the alley you saw Allen go down."

Munch had turned the alley upside down; looking for Allen in dumpsters and trying to open all the doors or windows of the buildings on either side of the alley. They were all locked and there was nothing but garbage in the dumpsters. As he walked to the end of the alley he was in there was a narrow walkway that connected it to the one before it. It was small and unnoticeable until you were at the end of the alleyway. The detective walked down it. "I think Allen doubled-backed and came to the first alley he walked by."

"How could he have done that? He would have had to have walked right by you."

The detective got to the end of the narrow walkway and looked down the alley, the one separating the diner and the next building. He looked at Stabler hanging his head out the window. "No, he wouldn't have. He's got Casey."

Elliot made eye contact with Munch. "Damnit!"

Munch looked at him as he spoke into the phone. "I'll call it into the Captain."

The men hung up their phones; they were standing in front of each other. "Let me get Casey's things and call Olivia; she's still at the Penthouse."

Munch dialed Cragen's number. "I'll meet you out front. We'll take the sedan; it's half a block away."

Elliot nodded and stuck his head back through the window. He left the ladies room, grabbed the coats, Casey's purse, peeled enough bills out of his own wallet to cover the bill and left the diner. He dialed Olivia's cell number. He and Munch ran up the street to the unmarked Crown Vic; each of them on their cell phones.

"Benson."

"Liv, how close are those Tech to being done?"

She could tell by her partner's tone and the labored breathing that something was wrong. Olivia looked at Morales. "How much longer?"

He looked at her and shrugged. "An hour?"

"An hour." She said into the phone. "Why?"

Elliot wretched the passenger's side door to the sedan open. "They have to wrap it up, now! Allen grabbed Casey about three minutes ago."

"You think he's going to bring her here? Where are they coming from?"

He threw the jackets and purse in the back seat and closed the door as Munch pulled away from the curb. "I don't think he will stray from bringing his victim to her place. He gets off too much on that part of it. We are around the Times building, 8th Avenue and West 40th."

"I'll get TARU to wrap this up, but not everything is in place."

"We'll have to go with what we have. Get everyone out but Morales. He should be able to run the cameras alone."

Munch jumped in. "Cragen is on his way over."

"Liv, Cragen is on his way over to the Penthouse. He should beat Allen over there."

Olivia started to go around the Penthouse, cleaning up her stuff and trying to hurry the Techs. "Okay, I've got it here. Listen, if Allen doesn't bring Casey here, he might take her to his place. He's had much more contact with her than any other victim. He might want to do his thing on his own turf, especially if he evaded you and Munch. He may be onto us."

Elliot leveled at look at Munch as he spoke to his partner. "Good call, we'll hit his place."

They hung up and Elliot started to talk to Munch. "Allen probably knows he's being set-up. Liv thinks he might take Casey to his place instead of the Penthouse."

Munch wheeled the car through traffic. "To Allen's place we go."

Casey had been startled when she walked into the ladies' room and saw Desean Allen standing in front of her. _Where were Munch and Stabler?_ She tried to act as if everything was fine. He looked at her. "Hello, Casey."

She nodded. "What do you want?"

He stepped closer to her. "You, Casey. I just want you."

She tried to hide her fear. Her years in the courtroom kicked in. "Why? What do you want from me?"

"To see what you look like tied up and helpless," he hissed as he lunged for her.

She tried to avoid him but it was no use; the room was small. He grabbed her around the waist and dug the muzzle of a gun into her side. "Stop struggling and shut up. You and I are going to leave through that window," he said pivoting them around to face the window he had entered through. "We are getting in a cab and going to your place. You are going to cooperate with me or I will kill you. Now…be a good girl and do what you're told."

Casey should have struggled, should have yelled. The truth was that now, more than ever, the case was on her shoulders. She had to play along. She knew it was only a matter of time before Munch and Elliot figured out what had happened. Olivia was already at the Penthouse with an entire team of Techs. _She'd be fine, right?_ The reporter didn't struggle. She did everything her captor asked of her. They crawled through the window and landed in an alleyway. The pair walked quickly to the street and hailed a cab.

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Penthouse 1**

**Friday December 14****th****, 15:30**

Olivia barked orders at the Techs to hurry up. It took about another ten minutes but they finished with the camera in the bedroom; which was the most important one. They also installed a camera in the living room and microphones in both rooms. Morales set them up, wirelessly, on a laptop set up in the spare bedroom. He dismissed the team of Techs and they left the premises. Cragen barged into the Penthouse as the Techs were leaving. He had two uniformed officers with him. He looked at his detective. "What do we have to work with at this point?"

"Enough. They wired two cameras and two mics; one of each in here and the other in the master bedroom," Olivia said as she, Cragen and the uniformed officers walked from the living room to one the spare bedrooms. She pointed to the laptop. "Morales has the cameras recording now." She looked at the TARU tech. "Do the mics work?"

Morales nodded. "Yep, we're good to go. If he brings your victim here we'll have a front-row seat."

Cragen looked from the tech to his detective. "_If_ he brings Casey here? Are we under the impression that he won't?"

Olivia sighed. "It's possible the reason Allen slipped by Munch is because he made Munch. If Allen thinks he's being set-up he might not take Casey here. He's already strayed from his normal routine with her; he might continue that trend."

The Captain raised his brow. "What are we doing about this? Does anyone have an eye on Allen and Casey?"

She shook her head. "No one has seen Allen since he left the diner or Casey since she left for the ladies' room. John and Elliot are on their way to Allen's place. If he thinks he can't bring her here he will probably take her to his place. This is the first time he's been bold enough to even contact a victim; I think he will need to take her somewhere familiar, somewhere he feels comfortable."

Cragen shook his head. "We better pray you are right about this. If Novak becomes his next victim…"

The brunette nodded her head slightly and closed her eyes at the thought, trying to keep it at bay. _How had this gone so badly, so quickly?_ She opened her eyes. "I know," she admitted.

**Friday December 14****th****, 16:10**

Munch pulled the sedan up to the cub across the street from Desean Allen's building. The detectives fled the vehicle, ran across the street and buzzed the Superintendant. When no answer came, Elliot punched the button several times with his fist. Munch gave him a sideways glance. "Calm down, Elliot."

He was about to retort when an old woman struggled to open the inner door, to leave the building, with a bundle buggy. Munch held the door open for her. She nodded to him. "Thank you, son." He nodded to her and Elliot held the outer door for her. She thanked him, too. The detectives entered the building and ran up the stairs to the fourth floor. They drew their guns and entered the hallway from the stairwell. With one of them on each side of the hallway, they silently walked down to apartment 4D, Desean Allen's place. Elliot put his ear to the door and listened. After about fifteen seconds he looked at Munch and shook his head, indicating he heard no one in the apartment.

"Maybe we beat them here?" Munch suggested quietly.

Elliot stood up straighter. "Maybe? They only had a five-minute head start. Let's hang in the stairwell for a few minutes, see if he shows."

Munch nodded and they walked back down the hall and into the stairwell. They kept the door open slightly in order to hear anyone coming off the elevator.

**510 Madison Avenue**

**Penthouse 1**

**Friday December 14****th****, 16:15**

Cragen was starting to get worried. He didn't want anything to happen to Casey, or to any other woman at the hands of Desean Allen. "This is taking too long."

Olivia looked at the silver watch on her wrists, although she had been thinking the same thing. She was also thinking there were too many people in the room. "I'll call El and see if they showed up at Allen's place."

Elliot felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he stood in the stairwell. He took it out and looked at the caller ID. He flipped it open and answered it quietly. "Did they show up at the Penthouse?"

"No," Olivia whispered. "I guess they didn't show up at Allen's place either?"

He shook his head. "No. He should have been at either of these places at this point. Shit, Liv, where would he have taken her?"

"I don't know. He could have taken her anywhere. You think he could have gone to the Times building?" she suggested.

"Doubt it, he wouldn't feel comfortable there. This guy is all about the fantasy and power. He wants them in their own beds, on their own turf. He likes the power he takes from them by violating them in their own homes."

It clicked as she listened to her partner's last sentence. "Her _OWN_ home, her _own _bed. El, he's taken Casey to her own apartment!"

Everyone in the bedroom charged out of the room and out of the Penthouse itself. Stabler looked at Munch. "That's it! He took Casey to her place!" The pair ran down the stairs and out of the building. Even with the sirens and lights going, getting downtown at this hour from either location wasn't going to be easy. As Cragen drove the unmarked sedan Olivia looked at the road ahead of them. "Where is Fin?"

"At home; he had the graveyard shift at Allen's place last night," Cragen said through clenched teeth as he tried to weave through the traffic on their way downtown.

Olivia grabbed her phone and dialed Fin's number.

"Tutuola"

"Fin, its Liv; where are you?"

He could tell by her strained tone and the siren in the background that something was up. "Home, what's goin' on?"

"Desean Allen has Casey. He's at her apartment in Tribecca. You are the closest, geographically, to them."

Fin was out of his bed and half dressed by the time Olivia had finished her sentence. "I'm on my way. She still lives at the same place, right?"

"Yeah, on Worth Street. We are headed down there from the Penthouse on Madison. El and John are coming from Allen's place on 109th. I'll radio you some back-up."

"I'm already out the door. I got her, Liv." Fin reassured his co-worker as he pulled on his boots. They hung up and Fin pulled on the shirt he had in his hand. He grabbed his black down jacket and hustled downstairs.

Olivia used the walkie-talkie Cragen had brought with him to call into the dispatch. She had them radio to two squad cars in the area where Casey lived to get to her building. She relayed the apartment number and said to use extreme caution when entering the unit.

**16 Worth Street, Apartment 12B**

**Residence of Casey Novak **

**Friday December 14****th****, 16:10**

It had taken awhile to get to her apartment; rush hour had begun in the city and it was Friday. As soon as Allen had given the cabby the address Casey's heart had sunk; as had her confidence in the detectives finding her. Having worked closely with them for years she knew they would be at the Penthouse and then go to Allen's place. It would take them a while to look at her place, if they figured it out at all. When the cab pulled up to the building and stopped in front of it, Allen threw some money at the driver and whispered to Casey, "Get out, nice and easy."

He still had the gun in his right hand. The sleeve of his jacket was too long for his arm, so it hid the gun from plain sight. Casey reached for the door handle and pulled it. She got out and was followed by Desean Allen. He closed the door behind them and walked the reporter up to the outer door of her building. Casey opened it and they both walked through. She stopped at the inner door. He pushed the gun into her side. "Open it."

"I can't," Casey said, trying to hide her fear.

"This is your building. You live in 12B. Open the Goddamn door." He was starting to lose his patiences.

"I don't have my keys."

"Are you trying to get me to pull the trigger? Get the keys out and open the door," Allen said. He was growing more nervous by the second as they stood in the cold glassed-in room, in broad daylight.

"The keys are in my purse, which is back at the diner."

Allen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. He turned slightly to his left and looked at the buzzer system. "Who would buzz you into the building?"

Casey had worried about many things on the ride to her apartment. For the last 35 minutes she knew she would be raped. She knew Olivia, Elliot and the rest of the squad wouldn't make it to her in time. She had gone numb as fear and submission took over her body. The strawberry blonde had foreseen the issue at the door. She didn't even have her coat with her, never mind her purse. "Mrs. Young, in 12D."

He looked up her buzzer code and punched in the four digits. "Act normal. Tell her you forgot your keys."

"Yes?" Came a voice from the speaker of the intercom system.

"Mrs. Young? It's Casey Novak. I left my keys upstairs. Could you please let me in?"

"Sure, dear."

"Thanks."

There was a buzz. Casey grabbed at the door and opened it. The pair walked through and over to the elevators. Allen hit the up button and when the elevator doors opened they got in and Casey hit the number 12. "Does she have a key to your apartment?" Allen asked.

Casey nodded.

"Good, we are going to go get that from her and you are going to behave." The doors opened on 12. They got out and headed to the left. Casey knocked on 12D and the pair waited for Mrs. Young to open the door. Allen pushed the gun into the reporter's side again. "Don't make me kill Mrs. Young. Keep this short and simple."

An older lady opened the door and smiled at them. Casey smiled as best she could. "So sorry about this, Mrs. Young, but could I have the key to my apartment. I left my whole ring inside this morning."

"Sure, hold on just a second while I find them. Please," she said gesturing inside her apartment. "Come in and make yourselves at home while I look."

Casey furrowed her brow. "Uhhh…you know what? We can just wait out here. It's really no problem."

"Oh, no, please come in, I insist."

Allen nudged Casey, so she pursed her lips. "Well, okay."

As they stepped inside Mrs. Young looked at Desean Allen. "Hello, dear. I promise to be right back with the keys."

He smiled back to her. "Take your time." Desean knew he had lots of time. It would take those cops time to figure out where they were, and even if they did, it would take them forever to get down here from that Penthouse. His smiled got wider. _Yes, he had all the time in the world with Casey Novak. _

It took Mrs. Young about five minutes to find Casey's keys. She returned to the front door and handed them to the reporter. Both Novak and Allen smiled and said goodbye to Mrs. Young, who returned the pleasantries and closed the door behind the pair. They walked down the wall to apartment 12B. Casey put the key in the deadbolt and turned it. She put her right hand on the door handle and turned it. The door opened and they walked into the apartment. Allen closed it behind them and turned to the strawberry blonde. "Turn on the lights."

Casey did as she was told and turned on the lights beside the door. They illuminated the living room and part of the kitchen, as they were attached, only separated by an island. She was normally relieved to be home; she loved her apartment. Today was different; she looked around and tried to think of something she could use against Desean Allen. _A lamp? The vase on the island in the kitchen? _

As if listening in on her thoughts Allen looked at her. "Stop wondering how you are going to take me down and start thinking about how great we are going to be together, in your bed."

The reporter shuddered. Allen shrugged his coat off, but made sure never to take the gun he was holding off his target. "Take off your coat, Casey." She did as he instructed and threw it over one of the arm chairs. Allen watched her. "No, no, no…Casey. You're home now; put your coat in the closet." He waved his hand with the gun in it towards the closet.

She picked up the discarded article of clothing and walked over to the closet beside her attacker. When she was standing in front of him he touched her with his free hand. He started at her shoulder and ran his hand down her arm. Her breath caught in her chest at his touch. Allen let his hand fall away from her. She breathed again and put her coat in the closet.

Allen smiled at her once she closed the closet door. "Now then, I think it's finally time we retire to the bedroom." He had never felt this way before. Normally, he wasn't this candid with the women he loved. He had only ever showed them how much he loved them in their beds. Casey Novak was different; he could tell she really loved him too.

Casey swallowed hard as she moved, with Allen behind her, through her apartment and into the bedroom at the back. Once inside her bedroom she froze. Her attacker pushed the gun into her back. "Turn on the light, Casey." She walked towards her bed and turned on the bedside lamp. Allen addressed her again. "Turn around." She did, but didn't make eye contact with him. He looked at her, willing her to look at him. "Take off your clothes; I want to see you, Casey." The reporter started by taking off the sweater she had on. She pulled it over her head, leaving a spaghetti strapped tank-top and bra on her upper half.

He was enjoying what he saw. For the first time he wanted to touch her bare skin. He held out his left hand and took the left strap of the tank-top and bra in his fingers. He slid them down her arm as far as the fabric would allow. He let go of the straps and slid his fingers back up Casey's arm. He looked into her eyes, with a small grin on his face. She met his gaze. "Take it off, take it all off."

She furrowed her brow slightly as she shivered. Casey rid herself of the tank-top, wrapped her arms around her back and unclasped her bra. She took it off and it hit the floor on top of the other clothing she had shed. The reporter bit her bottom lip, in an attempt to stop it from quivering as she undid the button on the top of her jeans. She undid the zipper and slid her fingers between her skin and her panties. She slid both the jeans and panties off at the same time.

Allen's grin became a sick twisted smile. "Good girl. Now, Casey, take off my pants." He was more excited than ever before. He wanted _this_ woman to touch him.

She stepped towards the animal standing before her. Casey bowed her head; she could no longer bear to look Desean Allen in the eyes. There was no way she was ever going to overpower him. She was never going to be able to convince him not to rape her. Allen had done this many times before and she knew that all too well. Casey reached out and put her hands on the top of Allen's pants. She undid the button and then unzipped the zipper. She pulled down the pants, leaving him in only his underwear. She could see through the tight white cloth that he was enjoying everything that was going on. The strawberry blonde closed her eyes.

"Get some pantyhose out of your dresser," he demanded as he moved away from her and closer to her dresser. She did what he asked. She opened the top drawer and fished out a pair of stocking. He took them from her and kissed her. She whimpered slightly as their lips touched.

When he finally pulled away from the her lips, he spoke. "Get on your bed, Casey."

The reporter moved away from him and onto her bed. She sat closer to the head of the bed. She took one of her pillows in her hand and put it in front of her; hiding most of her body from the prying eyes of Desean Allen. He took his underwear off and kneeled on the end of the bed. He smiled sickly at Casey, but she wouldn't look at him. With the gun in his right hand he took his left hand and grabbed the pillow away from her. He hadn't brought a condom this time; he wanted to leave himself inside her. The police knew who he was, knew he was the one who was going to attack Casey Novak. There was no reason to hide now.

"Give me your hands," he commanded.

Casey held out her trembling hands. Allen bound them at the wrists and then reached above her head and stretched her arms out behind her head. He tied the pantyhose to the headboard of the bed. Her back was now lying against the comforter; she drew her knees up and kept her thighs together.

As Allen eased back to the end of the bed he looked at Casey. Through tears in her eyes she looked at him. He put his left hand on the top of her right knee. "Show me you want me. Spread your legs, Casey."

She had been attacked before, beaten within in inch of her life. When she had woken the pain didn't bother her as much as the thought of being raped. Olivia had assured her she hadn't been. _Where were her detectives now?_ When Casey didn't open her legs, Desean Allen forced his hand between them. Her breathing became ragged as she fought with everything she had in her to keep her legs together. He used both hands and pried the reporter's thighs apart. Casey felt the handle of the gun digging into her left thigh as her attacker forced her legs apart.

Once they were apart he put his body between them. He put his left hand down on the bed beside Casey for leverage as he held the gun in his right. He pushed himself between her legs; letting her feel his penis. "I love you, Casey."

Allen rubbed his penis between her legs. She felt like vomiting. He was hard and she knew it was only a matter of seconds before he was inside her. "NO! NO! NO! Get off of me!" she screamed, trying to force her legs closed; trying for force him away from her. She tried to lift her knees up and push him off her.

None of Allen's previous victims had fought him. He was losing control. He swung the hand with the gun in it towards Casey's head and it made contact. Her body became limp and her eyelids fought to stay open. To Casey, everything became fuzzy. She had no control over her own body. She felt Desean Allen between her legs. "No…don't…don't rape me…" she begged as she tried to remain conscious, tried to fight back.

"I'm not raping you, Casey. I love you," her attacker said and smiled sweetly at her.

Tears finally broke and rolled down Casey's cheeks. She was being raped and she couldn't stop it. She closed her eyes but continued the mantra. "No, don't rape me."

When she opened her eyes again Desean Allen wasn't between her legs. Someone had him up against a wall. They were cuffing him. The figure handed him off to someone else in the room and walked slowly towards her. The figure was saying something. She realized she couldn't hear what it was over her own voice. She was still begging not to be raped. Casey stopped talking and realized it was Fin walking towards her and bending down beside her. He had a blanket from the living room in his hand. "Casey, it's okay. We got him. You're okay. Do you want me to cover you up?"

The reporter nodded. Fin covered his friend with the blanket and waited for the other detectives and the CSU to show up. He untied her hands and she curled up in a ball with her head on his chest. His puffy black jacket was cold but felt good to her. "He raped me didn't he? I've been raped." The question and statement came out all at once; she was beside herself.

Fin wasn't sure what to do. Some victims needed the comfort of someone's arms, while others couldn't stand to be near anyone. With her head on his chest Fin was pretty sure Casey needed the comfort. He put his arm around her and stroked her hair gently. "I'm not sure, Case. We might have got him in time. You'll have to have a rape kit to know for sure."

She nodded and sobbed quietly against the man who had saved her.

After what seemed like forever to everyone involved, the detectives, paramedics and CSU arrived at Casey Novak's apartment. The medics looked at the bump on Casey's head that Allen had delivered with his gun. They told her they wanted to take her to Mercy General to be checked out. The reporter didn't want to go without Fin. She hadn't relinquished her hold on his jacket in the hour or so he had been there. He picked her up, off her bed, with the blanket wrapped around her, and carried her down to the ambulance. Olivia followed them to the rig.

"I will be at the hospital with clothing for you to put on after they look at your head," the lone female detective promised as she held Casey's hand in the ambulance; after Fin had set her down on the gurney inside she had let go of him and motioned for Olivia to come into the rig with them.

"I need a rape kit done…I…I need to know if he raped me." The strawberry blonde choked back tears. "Will you…will you please be with me?"

Olivia nodded her head. "I'll do anything you want me to. Let me get some clothing from upstairs and I'll be right behind you, Case."

She nodded to the detective and her eyes fell back to Fin. "Stay with me for the ride?"

Although it had come out as a question it was clear Casey had meant it as a statement; she wanted Fin to stay with her for the ride to the hospital. He pursed his lips and nodded his head. "I won't leave until you are ready."

She closed her eyes then and sobbed a little more as she held Fin's hand. He looked from her to Olivia. They shared a look that said so much, but they both knew there would be a discussion between them at a more appropriate time. The brunette left the ambulance; one of the paramedics replaced her inside while the other closed the doors. As Olivia walked back into the lobby of the building she heard the sirens start and knew her friend was on the way to the hospital. _How could she have failed her so badly?_ One other thought played in the detective's mind as she waited for the elevator. _Jess would never forgive her for letting Casey be attacked. _

**SVU Squad Room**

**Friday December 14, 20:21**

Casey had never been on this end of a sex crime before. She had been humiliated, not only by Desean Allen having sexually assaulted her but also by the rape kit afterwards. The initial results looked as if she had been spared having Allen's penis actually penetrate her. There were fluids present on her genitals and abdomen and major bruising on her knees and thighs. There appeared to be no trauma to the inside of her vagina and no foreign fluids. The kit itself had been sent to the M.E.'s office in order to ascertain the full results.

Fin had left after Olivia arrived at the hospital. The brunette had driven Casey to the squad room to give her official statement, which Fin and Munch would be taking from her any minute. Olivia said she could give it in the morning but Casey insisted she wanted to get it over with tonight. All the other times she had been in the building, she had always been part of the action, always in the observation room watching interrogations or part of the team that took down the sex offender. This time was totally different. She sat in one of the interrogation rooms…waiting.

Desean Allen was in Interview One, Casey was in Interview Two. Stabler and Benson where already in the interview room talking to Allen when Alex arrived; Fin and Munch were on their way into the other interview room when Alex stopped them. She looked at them. "Can you give me a minute with Novak?"

The detectives looked at her, surprised, but nodded. She proceeded into the interview room and closed the door behind herself. Casey looked up from the table she was sitting at. She furrowed her brow. "I'm tried, Alex. I just wanna give my statement, go home and take a long, hot, shower. Can we _please_ discuss everything _you_ think I did wrong on this case tomorrow?"

Alex ignored the plea, walked over and sat on the other side of the table. "You didn't do anything wrong on this case. Casey, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry it wasn't handled better on our end. I wish we could have kept you safe. I am really sorry for what Desean Allen did, what we let him do to you. You are one of the strongest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing." Alex looked away for a moment and then back at the stunned reporter. "I also wanted to apologize for lashing out at you that day outside your work. I had no right to speak to you that way. What you did, how you handled the situation was the right way." Alex couldn't come right out and say what Casey had done. She had interfered with a case and no one had ever disclosed her involvement. Markus Stanley had been convicted and sentenced roughly five weeks ago on all charges. Alex didn't want anything to jeopardize that.

Casey raised her brow. She had never been so touched and yet hated the person singing her praise all at the same time. "If you think that I will put in a good word for you with Liv, you've got another thing coming." She narrowed her eyes. "I know what you did to her and it makes me sick. You don't deserve her, or Jess."

The blonde sighed. "This isn't about that. I want to make things right with you." She looked away for a moment and then back across the table. "At the time, I was jealous. Jess couldn't stand the sight of me, Olivia and I were separated and they both confided in you." She shook her head. "I was angry, not at you, but at myself. I really am sorry. You did the right thing and I couldn't see it at the time."

"I would never use Jess," Casey said softly. "I will protect that kid, no matter what. She is Olivia's daughter and I would do anything for her."

Alex nodded. "I know you would. I really appreciate that. Jess is unbelievably important to me, too, and I am really glad she has someone like you looking out for you."

"Thanks." Casey nodded.

"Can I ask you one thing?" Her tone was soft. "It can wait for another time if you want."

The strawberry blonde shrugged. "Now is as good a time as any; I get the feeling I'm going to be here for awhile."

"A few months ago, when you started coming out to the bar with the squad again it seemed effortless. It was as if Elliot got back his old drinking buddy, Munch got his darts buddy, Fin got his dance partner back and Olivia…" Alex trailed off and looked away.

"Got a girlfriend back," Casey finished the sentence.

The blonde nodded.

"Working sex crimes takes its toll, as you well know. When I was the A.D.A. here a lot happened. I'm not just talking about the cases we worked, I mean after a while; through a lot of circumstances I became close with everyone here." Casey furrowed her brow. "Alex, it was hard following you in this squad. They didn't take to me right away; they had developed a rapport with you and thought you were dead. It took time but we became very close. You want to know about me and Liv, don't you?"

Alex sighed. "I know I have no right to ask, but yes. I want to know how you two became so close. She trusts you, without question."

"If you're asking if Olivia and I were a thing, the answer is no," Casey said, with a furrowed brow. "Alex, I'm straight and I was under the impression until you came along again that she was straight as well." She inhaled. "El and I were always closer then Liv and I until…" she exhaled and closed her eyes. "Until one night when Olivia and I were working late on a case in my office." She opened her eyes. "She went out to get us coffee and while she was gone I was attacked in my office. Liv found me, unconscious on the floor. She called for a bus and apparently never left my side." Casey bit at her bottom lip. "When I finally woke up in the hospital she was right there, just watching me. I asked her what happened and she told me I had been attacked." She shook her head. "I didn't remember it at all, I didn't even remember being in my office. I had a concussion and only remember being at the squad room that afternoon." A single tear fell out of Casey's right eye and down her pale cheek as she looked away. "I asked Liv if he had raped me and she said no." She looked back at the A.D.A. "I was so relived. Having heard that from Liv and her never leaving my side made me trust her. Elliot went through every security video from One Hogan Place and found the guy who had attacked me. I became very close to those two after that; I went out with the squad more and became close with everyone else."

The blonde looked across the table with soulful blue eyes. "Casey, I had no idea about your attack. I am so sorry. I would have never asked about any of this if I had known." She raised her brow. "I never would have let this squad use you as bait if I had known about your past."

"I know. I walked into this with open eyes. I knew that there was always a risk that Allen would…" More tears ran down her cheeks. "Hurt me. I was willing to take that chance if it meant getting him off the street for good." Casey cleared her throat. "Look, Alex I'm sure it must have been hard for you to come back here after all those years. I also know you and Liv have tried to make it work and that Jess loves you." She shook her head. "What you did to Olivia is unforgiveable. You and I are never going to see eye to eye, but I do appreciate your apology about that situation a couple of months ago; and I do believe your words about tonight are sincere."

Alex nodded. "I'm going to go and see how the interrogation is progressing. Your help on this case is something no one here can ever thank you enough for. I know it must have taken every ounce of strength tonight to live though what you did. You are a survivor, Casey, don't let anyone tell you any different. I'm glad Olivia and Jessie have you in their lives."

Casey pursed her lips and nodded. "Could you send in Fin and Munch? I would really like to go home soon."

The A.D.A. stood up. "Sure, we'll get you home as soon as we can." She turned and left the room.

Before they went into the interview room Olivia had called Jess and Elliot had texted his eldest son. The brunette asked how her daughter was doing and Jess had said fine. The detective knew better. After everything that had happened, the teenager was probably going to need to go back to at least two sessions a week with Dr. Rebecca Hendrix, she thought to herself. Jess had become more comfortable with herself over the last seven months and had been down to one session a week with the psychologist for a while now. Olivia felt that although she still needed some reassurances and coddling from time to time that her daughter had really been on her way to a full recovery. Since starting to prep for her testimony the brunette had seen Jess slip. At this point, given everything the young woman now knew, it was going to take a lot of work for the teenager to get even close to where she had been. The only thing Olivia wanted to do was go back to Alex's and hold Jess; it was the one thing she couldn't do. Not yet anyway. In their brief conversation Olivia told her that she and Alex would be working late tonight. She asked Jess if she wanted to come to the squad room or stay home and have Richard come over; the kid opted for the latter. They told each other that they loved one another and ended the conversation.

Elliot's discussion with his kid was brief. He texted Richard and told him that Olivia and Alex needed him to be with Jess. His son wrote him back and told him he was on his way. The partners looked at each other and walked into the observation room between Interview One and Two. They were met there by their co-workers and the Captain. The five of them looked at the rooms and then at each other.

Olivia looked at Munch and then Fin. "We can take Casey's statement if you want to go after Allen."

The partners looked at each other. Munch knew as much as Fin wanted to get Desean Allen's confession, he wanted to be there for Casey more. Munch nodded slightly, although nothing had actually been said between him and Fin. "We'll take Casey's statement."

Cragen raised his brow and looked at Elliot and Olivia. He handed them the files on all of the victims, complete with pictures. "Get a confession."

Elliot inhaled as he took the files from his boss. "Not a problem, sir." The detectives walked in and slammed the door behind them. Not 30 seconds later Alex walked into the observation room.

At the sound of the door Desean Allen's head shot up and he looked at the people who had walked in. Olivia sat across from the suspect, while Elliot chose to stand beside her. He threw the five files on the table and his partner opened them slowly, one at a time. She took out the pictures taken at the hospital of the bruised thighs from each of the files. The detective also took out the rape kit results paperwork. Olivia laid out every picture without saying a word, but kept the paperwork in her hands. Desean Allen looked up at her once she had finished with the pictures but said nothing. "What's this?"

She smiled sickly at him. "Your handy work, Desean."

He shook his head. "No…no, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Stabler picked up one of the photos. "Look at the picture, Desean. This is what you did to Meghan Russo." He held it within a half inch of Allen's face. "Look at it," he said, starting to lose it his patience. Allen moved his head to the right in order to avoid having the picture in his face any longer. Elliot shook the picture, grabbed Desean by the back of his neck and screamed at him. "I said look at it, you piece of crap!"

Allen looked at the photo. Although he didn't have a choice, Elliot's hand had forced his head to face forward. "You did this to her."

"No, I didn't."

Elliot threw the picture down on the table and picked up another one. "Oh yeah, you trying to tell me that you don't know Meghan Russo or Cindy Blay?"

Olivia got up, picked up another photo of another victim's bruised thighs, walked around the table and stood beside Allen. "What about Tia Baxton? You don't know her either?" She held the photo right up to his face; she and her partner were competing for space near Allen's face.

"Get these disgusting pictures outta my face. I didn't do that to any of them."

Without having to look at each other the partners continued, totally in sync, Olivia first. "So you _do_ know them then?"

"You met them at work, didn't you?" Elliot asked. They both lowered the photos.

"Of course I know them," Allen said matter-of-factly. "They are my girlfriends."

Both detectives narrowed their eyes at the suspect and then glanced at each other. Stabler pulled out a form from his back pocket. "Desean, we would love to hear all about your girlfriends."

"Yeah," Olivia nodded as she softened her eyes. "We believe you didn't do these things to them. Someone hurt them, though."

Stabler cocked his head to the right. "Think you could help us find whoever hurt them?"

Desean Allen breathed a sigh of relief. "Sure, what can I do?"

Elliot put the form in front of Allen. "Well, the first thing you have to do is read this over and sign at the bottom."

Allen looked down at the form and then up at the detectives. "What is it?"

Olivia raised her brow. "Well, it's a Miranda. It explains your rights. Read it, sign it and then you can tell us all about your girlfriends." The partners stepped back from Allen, collected the pictures and started to leave the room.

He furrowed his brow. "Wait, where are you going?"

Stabler tuned and looked back at him, "Well, we can't talk to you and you can't talk to us until you read and sign that form, so we are going to get some coffee and get back to work."

Desean Allen picked up the form and skimmed it as he spoke. "Don't go. Do you have a pen?" He desperately wanted to tell them about his girlfriends. He didn't have many friends and recently hadn't just been fantasying about having a girlfriend; he actually had a few of them. Real, live girlfriends. He wanted to tell them; he wanted to brag.

Benson turned and slipped the pen out of her pocket. She walked over to the table, clicked it and handed it to Allen. He took it and signed the Miranda form. Elliot walked back and took a seat across from Desean; Olivia did the same. "Tell me, Desean," she licked her lips at him, "tell me about your girlfriends."

Allen smiled. "For a long time I never had a girlfriend. I thought about women all the time. So many of them come into the store where I work. They are all so beautiful."

"You finally asked one of them out, didn't ya?" Stabler asked, smiling across the table.

"Sure did," Desean said, still smiling. "Erin Grant. She's a news anchor for Channel 4. I met her outside her condo and asked her out. She smiled at me and invited me up for a drink."

Stabler played along. It was obvious the guy was slightly delusional but if they could get him to confess that he had raped her fifty percent of their job would be done. "She liked you, huh," he said to Desean as he raised his brow.

Allen nodded back. "Yeah, I guess so. Once we got up to her place she was all over me."

"She wanted you, didn't she?" Benson coaxed.

"Oh yeah, she wanted me, and I wanted her. Erin was amazing." He started to brag. "We went into the bedroom and she undressed for me."

"She got into bed for you, too, didn't she?" Stable asked.

He nodded. "Oh yeah, she asked me to tie her up. She liked it that way."

After Fin and Munch took her statement they asked if there was anyone they could call for her. Casey looked at each of them. "No, I'm okay."

Munch looked at her. "Case, I'm not sure you should be alone."

The strawberry blonde looked at him. "Really, I'll be fine."

"I could take you home. I could even stay for a bit if you want?" Fin offered. He didn't like the idea of Casey going home alone that night.

"Actually, I hadn't planned on going back to my apartment. I think I'll stay with a friend tonight," Casey said as she smiled slightly at the men sitting before her. The smile was meant to ease their minds about her state of mind.

"Please, let me at least give you a ride," Fin pleaded.

The reporter smiled and shook her head. "I'll be okay, Fin. Honest." She stood up. "I'm gonna grab a cab out front." Casey put on her coat and grabbed her purse; which Elliot had been nice enough to retrieve from the diner where they had eaten lunch.

Fin stood up. "I'll see you to the cab."

Munch gathered up the paperwork that was strewn on the table. He stood and looked at Casey. "If there is anything you need, call one of us. I mean it, Case."

"I will. Thanks, John," she said as she and Fin left the interrogation room. On their way through the empty squad room Casey took out her cell and texted the one person she knew would understand how she felt. "Can I come over?"

Before they hit the outside of the One-six a reply came. "Of course. I'll call downstairs and make sure the doorman lets you in."

Fin made sure Casey was in the cab before he went back inside. On the way to her destination the reporter texted one last message. "I need your help." A reply came back almost instantly. "I'll always be here for you."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven: Deja vu

The cab stopped in front of the large building. Casey paid the fare and got out. The doorman nodded to her and opened the door. She nodded back and walked into the lobby of the building. She went straight to the elevators and punched the up button. One opened immediately. She got in, hit the Penthouse button and was relived when the doors closed and she was alone in the small space. The doors opened on the top floor of the building and there were only two doors on the floor. Casey went to the one she knew and knocked. The heavy wooden door opened and the tiny brunette stood in the opening. "Hi."

Casey started to cry. Jess took her hand and pulled her gently into the condo. She closed the door behind them and walked her into the living room and onto the couch. She looked at Richard quickly, who immediately left the room for the spare bedroom. Jess sat down and pulled the much taller woman half onto her lap. Casey laid her head on the younger woman's lap, held her leg with her right hand and curled her own legs under herself. Jess stroked the strawberry blond hair. "You're all right now. He can't hurt you." The tears continued to fall as Casey sobbed. The brunette continued her mantra. Although she had no confirmation Desean Allen had actually hurt her friend, Jess had no doubt after seeing Casey's face at the front door.

After a few minutes of sobbing the reporter tried to compose herself. She never lifted her head as she spoke. "When you had your rape kit done did it hurt?"

Jess prayed Richard wasn't listening. "Yeah. It was scary and embarrassing, too. They take pictures?" the teen asked as a sort-of confirmation that Casey had one done that day.

"Yup," Casey said in a monotone. "Was Liv with you the whole time?"

The teen nodded her head at the memory. "Yeah, she asked if I wanted her to leave but I couldn't imagine having gone through it without her. Did you ask her to stay for yours?"

At this point Casey nodded but still never lifted her head. "Yes, I asked her to as well. How close was it to rape?"

Jess swallowed hard, so hard in fact that she shook. Casey closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. It's none of my business."

"No, it's okay," Jess said as she stroked the strawberry blonde hair. Casey opened her eyes as the teen spoke. "It was close. He had me bent over a counter at the diner. My pants and underwear were cut off me." Tears came to Jess's eyes but she continued. "He slid his fingers along my thighs before he rubbed his penis on my vagina. Tony walked into the diner then and interrupted him. My father would have raped me if Tony hadn't come when he did." Tears fell out of the blonde's eyes and down her cheeks.

Casey took the tiny hand stroking her hair in her own hand and held it around herself; partly to comfort Jess but also because the reporter herself needed it too. "I'm sorry, Jessie. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are. It's not your fault though. You have nothing to be sorry for. Cass, what happened to you tonight?"

The strawberry blonde held the tiny hand tighter. "Desean Allen found me in the ladies' room of the diner Elliot and I were having lunch in and took me back to my own apartment. No one had considered that he might do this so no one was prepared for that outcome. Once he got me in my bedroom he made me undress in front of him and crawl onto my bed. He forced my legs apart with his hands." Casey was crying slightly as she told the story. "He was so strong. I tried to fight him off me and he hit me with the gun he had. Everything seemed like a dream after that, almost like I couldn't open my eyes any wider than a pinhole. I just kept begging him not to do it, not to rape me." Casey pulled Jess's hand and arm closer around her and nestled farther into the young woman for comfort. "I though he was. I though he was inside me. I must have closed my eyes to the whole thing because when I opened them Fin had Allen up against a wall and was cuffing him. I hadn't even heard him come in."

With her free hand Jess stroked Casey's head gently. "Did you get the results back on the rape kit?"

Casey closed her eyes. "Yeah, preliminary results. No penetration. He was never inside me."

"Doesn't mean anything though, does it?"

"Nope…I'm still disgusting." Casey broke down all over again. Jess leaned over her gently; making sure she wasn't scared with the position. The brunette rocked slightly. "You're not disgusting. Shhhhhh…you're not dirty or damaged. You are still you, Casey," Jess continued to rock for a long time. Casey's sobbing eventually subsided.

"You wanna take a shower?"

For the first time Casey turned 180 degrees and looked up at Jess. She nodded. "Yes, please."

Jess smiled slightly. "I'm going to bring you some of Livie's clothing. You can buy all new stuff in the morning. Tonight, you are staying here, in my room. I'll be right out here on the couch if you need me."

The reporter sat up and hugged the teen. "How did you know?"

"It's what Livie did for me. I'm just paying it forward. I'm not always going to know what you need. I will try really hard to figure it out but I'm probably going to need some help. You have to be honest with me about how you feel."

"I will. Thanks, Jessie." Casey let go of the tiny brunette and looked at her. "I know I can't lean on you for everything. I promise I won't. I just…I didn't know where else to go tonight."

Jess nodded her head. "I know. It's okay. Like I said, I'll try and be here for you, but I can't do it alone. You need to help me…and yourself."

The reporter nodded. The teen pursed her lips. "Let's get you showered and dressed for the night." She showed Casey to her room, and the bathroom. "I'll grab some clothes of Liv's and leave them on my bed for you. Come out when you're ready. I'll send Richard home for the night."

Casey took Jess's hand as they stood in her room. "No, don't send Richard home. It's really late and I'm sure Liv and Alex would want him to stay here with you. Please, just…do whatever you were going to do before I got here. I don't want to cause any trouble or anything. Don't…don't make a big deal about anything because of me."

"Okay," Jess nodded. "I'll tell Richard he can stay. Have your shower and I'll be out in the living room when you want to come out."

The strawberry blonde nodded and headed into the bathroom. Jess went into the spare bedroom to talk to her boyfriend and grab a pair of Olivia's sweat pants and a t-shirt. She looked at Richard. "How much of that did you hear?"

"None of it, why?" he said, as he sat on the bed with his laptop on his lap.

Jess walked over to the bed, crawled across it and hugged him. "Thanks for giving us space."

He hugged her back but then let her go in order to look into his girlfriend's eyes. "I will give you whatever you need. You know that. Now, should I go?"

She shook her head. "No, don't go. Stay the night. Casey insisted life go on around her and honestly I know how she feels. She's gonna stay in my room and I'm gonna couch it. I want you to use the two-piece bathroom outside the living room tonight. I want her to feel comfortable in the bathroom."

Richard nodded. "No problem. If you're couching it, then so am I. If Liv comes home she's gonna wanna crash in here."

Both teens looked around the room. Olivia had taken up residence quite quickly in it, complete with clothing, make-up, shoes…the whole nine yards. Jess sighed. "You're probably right." She turned to her boyfriend. "I love you."

He kissed her softly. "I love you, too."

Jess pushed off the bed and grabbed the articles of clothing for Casey off the floor. Richard grabbed his laptop and they both left the room. Jess left the clothing on her bed for Casey and about an hour later the reporter emerged from the bedroom, clad in the clothing left for her. The teens had put on a movie and shut most of the lights off in the place. Jess turned to her. "Hey, you wanna watch the movie or turn in for the night?"

"I think I'll just try and sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Richard said.

"Let me show you where the light switches are and then you'll be all set," Jess said getting up.

Casey followed her into the bedroom and the younger woman closed the door behind them. "Here are the lights, you can have them on or off, whichever feels more comfortable. I'm going to be right outside the door on the couch. Please come and wake me if you can't sleep. Wake up or just want to talk…or not talk but not be alone."

"I will. Thanks, Jessie." Casey hugged the shorter woman and the kid hugged her back. "Do you want me to stay in here tonight, on the floor?"

"I don't think so…"

Jess let her go and looked up into the dark blue eyes. "I will, Case. I didn't want to alone my first night. Livie stayed with me for the first two nights."

Casey bit her bottom lip. "I want to try. I'll come out and get you though if I can't sleep."

"You better. Richard and I will be using the other bathroom, so please don't be worried about someone walking in on you."

"Thanks, Shorty."

"No problem. I'm right out there." Jess nodded to the door.

The reporter nodded. Jess turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. When she got back to the living room Richard looked at her. "You got a text message." She checked her phone. The message was from Alex: 'Liv won't be coming home until later. I'll be home in an hour.'

**03:41**

Casey had tried to sleep. She heard Alex come in. Although she had spoken to both Jess and Richard neither mentioned her presence in the condo that night. She also heard Olivia come home long after that. She spoke to a very sleepy Jess, only saying that she was home. Casey figured that the teen had been sleeping and woke up when the detective came home. Jess told Olivia that she loved her and Olivia said it back. She didn't talk to anyone else, which led Casey to believe Richard was sleeping. She tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she saw Desean Allen standing over her.

The strawberry blonde had picked up a novel on the bedside table and started to read. It was actually kind of a funny story about a female bounty hunter who wasn't great at her job. Casey eventually fell asleep but woke up in a cold sweat, completely terrified. She sat up and tried to calm herself. Tears started to run out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She got out of bed, crossed the room and opened the door. The house was dark, but lit enough that she could get around. Casey walked out to the living room and found Jess sleeping on one end of the huge sectional couch and Richard sleeping on the other. She didn't even have to touch the teen; she woke up and looked sleepily at Casey. The younger woman turned and got up. They silently walked back to her room and closed the door. Jess looked at her. "Have you slept at all?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes.

"Sort of. I woke up in a cold sweat." She didn't make eye contact and her breathing was erratic.

Jess looked up at her. "Do you want to take another shower?"

The reporter shook her head but still wouldn't look at Jess; her skin was particularly pale.

"I can lie with you, if you want? Or on the floor, beside the bed?"

Casey met the Jess's eyes. "With me."

The teen nodded and climbed into her bed. Casey followed. Jess lay on her back and the taller woman snuggled in beside her. She draped her arm over Jess and the kid took her hand in hers. She rubbed the back of Casey's hand with her thumb. The older woman started to calm down. Her breathing became normal. The brunette felt the head that was lying on her arm get heavy. Casey spoke in a very sleepy tone. "You didn't tell Alex I was here."

"It's none of her business. Liv's either."

"What about in the morning?"

"One step at a time, Cass. Don't fight the sleep. I'm right here. He's not going to hurt you. I'm right here." Jess continued to rub Casey's hand with her thumb. Both women fell asleep.

**Saturday December 15****th****, 09:34 **

Both Olivia and Alex had left for the day. They each had work to do in the office; afterwards Olivia was going apartment hunting. Alex texted Jess and told her she would be home for dinner. The detective had opted for writing a note on a piece of paper and leaving it in the kitchen for her daughter. Richard was already awake and in the processes of getting breakfast started when Jess and Casey entered the kitchen. "Morning," he said to both women.

"Morning" they both said in unison. Jess had grabbed her iPhone from the living room on the way into the kitchen. She read Alex's message and turned to the taller woman. "Ally's already at work." Casey sat down in one of the chairs.

Richard picked up the small note from Olivia and held it up to his girlfriend. "So is Liv." Jess took the note and read it. She looked at Casey. "Juice or coffee?"

"Coffee," she said in a monotone.

Jess and Richard looked at each other before the young woman poured a mug full of coffee for Casey and a mug full of chocolate milk for herself. She set them down on the table. "How do you want your eggs?"

The reporter took the mug and sipped some coffee. She put it down. "I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are. Cass, look at me." The strawberry blonde looked up. "You have to eat. Then you are going to shower."

The incredibly lost blue eyes stared into dark green ones. "And then what?" she asked truly needing an answer.

"Eat and shower first. Then we'll see. One step at a time, okay?"

Casey nodded. "Fried, with the yoke broke."

Jess smiled slightly and turned to her boyfriend. "You heard the lady. I'll start on the bacon."

Breakfast went well and afterwards Casey showered. When she walked into Jess's room from the bathroom she dressed in more of Olivia's clothing that had been left for her. Once she was clothed she saw the kid's laptop. She grabbed it, woke it up and opened up a writing program. Casey began to type and didn't stop until it was done. She read it over and sent it in an email to her editor.

Richard had asked Jess twice if she would go in and check on Casey. Both times she refused. "If she wanted me she would come get me. She has to deal with what happened to her on her own terms in her own time."

A couple of hours later Casey emerged from the bedroom, walked to the living room and sat with Jess and Richard. Her eyes met her shortstop's. "I borrowed your laptop. Is that okay?"

"What's mine is yours," Jess said with a nod. "Did you write your final piece on The Cowboy Rapist?"

Casey's brow shot up. "Actually, yes, I did. How did you know that?"

The younger woman shrugged. "Lucky guess. Plus, you're a reporter, Cass. The written word is your outlet."

"It amazes me how well you know me, given the short time we have known each other." Casey smiled. "I sent the article to my editor, along with a leave of absence for an undetermined amount of time."

"Where are you going?" Jess asked sitting up straighter.

Casey sighed. "I called my parents; they're on their way over here now to pick me up. I'm going to stay with them for a bit. I also called my superintendant and told her I couldn't live in my apartment anymore. She said she understood and is putting it up for rent as soon as the crime scene tape comes down."

Jess nodded and her boyfriend spoke. "You want us to pack up your things for you?"

The reporter smiled. "No, it's okay. Once I find a new place I'll hire packers and movers for my things. Thanks, Richard, really."

He nodded and Jess stood up. "If you want help looking for a place, just let me know."

Casey held out her arms and the tiny brunette walked into them and hugged the reporter. "You did good, Cass. Most people wouldn't have been able to write that article."

She held the teen and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks, Jess, for everything." Casey held the young woman out at arm's length. "I couldn't have gotten through last night without you." Tears started to form in her eyes as she spoke. "I know I have a long road ahead of me that I have to come to terms with in my own way, but I'm relieved that you will be right there with me."

"You can count on me. I'm just a phone call or a text away; you know that. Don't be a stranger, Cass." Jess gave a half-smile.

"I'll be in touch, I swear." Casey's phone rang and she spoke to her mother for a moment and then ended the call. "My parents are downstairs."

Jess's eyes filled with tears; although she didn't really understand why. "I guess it's about that time then."

The tears in Casey's eyes finally fell as she spoke. "I guess so." Jess and Richard saw Casey to the door. She put on her coat and slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Casey, if you need anything please call," Richard said. He didn't stand too close to her and didn't try to hug her.

She nodded to him. "I will, thanks, Richard. Keep Shorty outta trouble while I'm gone."

"Will do." He nodded, turned and left for the living room.

"I can walk you down to your parent's car," Jess suggested.

Casey shook her head. "Naw…I gotta do this on my own. The first step is to walk out of here by myself."

Jess nodded. "I love you." Tears fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

The strawberry blonde hugged her. "I love you, too, Jessie. You are remarkable and I am blessed to have you in my life." She let go of the teen and looked down at her. "I know you are worried about Liv and Alex but you have to let them go through what is happening on their own."

The shorter woman furrowed her brow. "How do you know about that?"

Casey gave a half-smile. "A reporter always knows. Call me if you need to talk, I could use the distraction."

Jess put her hand in the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small white card. She handed it to Casey. "Call Dr. Hendrix when you're ready, if you don't already have someone in mind. I'll call you, Cass, I swear."

The taller woman wiped the tears off Jess's cheeks with her thumb. She turned, opened the door and walked out of the condo. She turned back one last time. "You can tell Liv and Alex I was here last night. I don't want you to have any secrets from them."

The teen pursed her lips and nodded. She watched Casey until the elevator came and she disappeared inside it. Richard had come and stood with her. Once Jess had closed the door she started to sob. Her boyfriend held her in the foyer until she stopped.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Saturday December 15****th****, 12:01**

Olivia looked up from her paperwork. "Well, you ready, partner?"

"Ready for what?" Elliot asked, looking up and across the desks at her.

She looked up, sighed and then looked at him. "You volunteered to come with me today to look at apartments."

"I did?" he questioned. When he saw the look she was shooting him he immediately changed his tone. "I did…yes, that's right. Where is our first stop?"

The brunette rolled her eyes at him, knowing he didn't remember agreeing to help her look. "The Village, let's roll."

Elliot stood and grabbed the coat off the back of his chair. "You're looking downtown?"

"I'm looking anywhere that has a two bedroom for rent. Plus, Jess will be applying to NYU's Computer Science program in a year or so. We would be close to the University," Olivia said as she pulled on her leather jacket.

"There's nothing in your old building?"

"There is nothing listed on the rental websites for it. We are also going to look at two condos today." She handed him a bunch of papers with the listings on the rental and properties to buy that they were scheduled to see that day.

They nodded to Fin and Munch in way of goodbye. Olivia grabbed a walkie-talkie. "You can reach us on the radio if anything comes up. Sorry guys, I know this is sudden."

"No worries." Fin nodded.

"We'll cover with Cragen if he asks about you." Munch said.

Elliot thumbed through the printouts quickly wondering if he really had in fact agreed to this. _If he did, he must have been drunk._

**Residence of A.D.A Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**310 Central Park West **

**Saturday December 15****th****, 17:30 **

When Elliot had dropped her off in front of Alex's building Olivia was depressed. The apartment/condo hunting had been a disaster. None of the buildings were great. The actual living areas were too small and most shouldn't have been advertized as two bedroom places. They had said goodbye to each other and Olivia had gone up to the condo. Jess and Richard were dressed to the nines and on their way out. "Where are the two of you off to?"

Jess had hoped she and her boyfriend could have slipped out for the night before either of the women raising her got home; sadly that was not the case. "We're going out for dinner in the Village," she answered as she and Richard put their coats on. When she actually saw Olivia's face she wondered if she should stay home. "Did you want me to stay in with you?"

Olivia didn't want to argue with her daughter. The kid had been though enough this week and the detective didn't want to admit that she hadn't kept her promise of keeping Casey Novak safe from Desean Allen. She let the teens go out for the night without the usual interrogation. "Naw, I'll be fine. Have a good night. Be home by curfew."

The young adults looked at each other and then back at Olivia as they tried to hide their surprise. "Will do. Night, Livie," Jess said and hugged the taller woman.

"Goodnight, Liv," Richard said as he followed his girlfriend out the door.

Olivia closed the door behind them and headed for the bathroom she and Jess now shared. She was going to have a bath and then look at more rental websites. _Some Saturday night._

**Saturday December 15****th****, 18:07**

When he had called and asked her to meet him at the bar, Alex had to admit she had been surprised. She knew it was coming, but it still shocked her.

He looked over when the door opened and saw Alex walk in. He didn't make eye contact; he knew she would find him. He had wanted to speak to her earlier but too much had happened during the week; this was the first free time he had had.

Alex walked over to the bar; he always sat at the bar. She sidled up to the bar stool beside him and sat down. The bartender, who knew who she was, walked over right away and looked at her. "Double bourbon, on the rocks." The barkeep nodded.

They didn't look at each other; they didn't say anything to each other. The pair stared straight ahead. The bartender came back with Alex's drink. She took a long drink out of it and sat it back down on the coaster it had been served on. "You should probably just say what you want to say and get it over with," she said, staring straight ahead.

He took a long swig of his MGD and set it back on the bar. "This won't take long. I only have one question. How could you to that to Olivia?" He didn't look at Alex, just ahead to behind the bar.

Alex sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know." She opened them and grabbed her drink.

Elliot put his fingers on the bottle of beer in front of him. "That's unacceptable." He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig.

She put the tumbler down and swallowed. "I know, what I did is unforgivable."

He set the bottle down. "Yes it is, but that's not what I was referring to. I meant that your answer is unacceptable." He still wouldn't give her the satisfaction of looking at her.

"What do you want me to say?" Alex turned to Elliot.

He took a long swig of beer but looked behind the bar. He swallowed but held the bottle. "I want you to answer my fuckin' question. How could you do that to Olivia?"

"I didn't think I could. I never wanted to." She turned back to the bar and looked into her dark drink. "I was under a lot of pressure. Jim and I were arguing constantly over how to handle the trial. I was worried about Jess; I was trying to keep how scared I was from Olivia. Everything had changed between Jim and me. I really hated who he had become." Alex was speaking almost in a monotone, as if she was looking at herself over the last four weeks from above and narrating what she was feeling. "That night Jim and I fought hard. He didn't want to put Jess on the stand and I did. He felt that Jess wasn't strong enough to testify and I told him she was. The argument became fierce. Years ago, when we were at each other's throats, late at night over a case, we would end up between each other's legs." A tear ran down her cheek. "The other night it was if no time had passed; we fell into our old routine. We forgot about everything else around us. The walls closed in on me and all I could think of was Olivia. I stopped myself; I stopped the whole thing and told Jim about Liv, about Jess." Alex picked up her drink, held it to her lips and took a healthy sip. She set it down on the coaster and looked at Elliot. "To answer your question I don't know how I could. I will never forgive myself for hurting her."

The detective finally looked into the deep blue eyes, which were filled with sadness, despair and regret. "You didn't hurt Liv, you broke her. She loves you and you threw her away like she was garbage!" He lowered his voice. "How could you do that if you love her?"

"I didn't mean to. It's not like I went to Jim and asked him to make out with me. It just happened. If I could take it back, I would. If I could go back in time I would never do it. I have to live with what I have done. The only person I ever loved, the only one I ever will love I cheated on. I broke her heart and I will never be able to fix it, to make it right. That is my burden. I will never be happy again; that is my penance."

Elliot took the last swig of his beer. He set the empty bottle down on the bar and looked at the A.D.A. "Do you love her?"

"More than anyone else in my life," Alex replied solemnly.

He took out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and fished out enough money for his beer and Alex's drink. He threw it on the bar and then looked at the blonde. "Anything that's worth it in life is worth fighting for, Alex."

The A.D.A. raised her brow. "Are you telling me I should fight for Olivia? Are you saying I have a shot?"

The man narrowed his eyes at her. "I am not a fan of yours right now. I hate what you did to Liv, what you are putting her and Jess though. The very sight of you makes me want to throw up right here on the bar. If we didn't have to work together I wouldn't have been this cordial with you. If you were a man, me, Fin, Munch and Cragen would have taken you out back and made sure you paid for what you did to Liv." He looked her up and down. "Consider yourself lucky to still be breathing. I will never advocate my partner forgiving you, or taking you back. At one point you two were happy; there was a lot of love there. If you think that is worth fighting for then fight, don't walk away from it."

Alex wasn't sure what to say. She looked up at him, dumbfounded. "What should I do? How do I fight for her?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. I never knew what you did to make her act the way she did or talk the way she did." He tried not to smirk at the recollection. "That goofy smile she got when you would call her. The colour of her eyes when she knew you two were going out that night; the way she would swagger into the bullpen the next morning. I don't know what you did or said to her but she was almost always happy with her life. I want her to have that back, all of it. You broke her, Alex. You shattered her into pieces. I'm not sure you have a shot at all, but are you going to give up?"

The blonde shook her head. "No. I love her, Elliot."

He nodded, stood up and grabbed his jacket.

"Wait. Can I ask you one thing?"

Elliot put on his coat, raised his brow but cocked his head to the right.

"Why did Olivia let me keep Jessie?" It had come out in a desperate tone but the A.D.A. didn't care.

The detective sucked in his left cheek slightly before answering. "Working for this squad means you don't get a lot of free time. When I was separated, even though it wasn't for a long time, I rarely saw my kids. Before I really only saw them when I was at home. Once I wasn't living at the house anymore I almost never saw them. Olivia saw what affect that had on me. She witnessed first hand how hard it was on me. I think she didn't want to put you through that. I also think she didn't want to put Jess through it." Elliot sat down on the bar stool again. "When my older kids were growing up I never made time for them. I tried to take that 15 minutes I had with them a day to check in with them, but it was hard, for them and for me. I see Liv texting Jess all the time. At first I knew it was 'cause she still saw Jess as a victim and wanted her to feel like she wasn't alone. It's different now. Olivia sees her as her daughter and she wants to check in with her. She wants to stay involved in her kid's life. That's my biggest regret in life; not being around enough for my kids, not staying involved with them. I left that up to Kathy and I lost out, big time. Liv wants Jess to have you both in her life. She is a big enough person to see that Jess needs you in her life. To take you away from her at this point would break that little girl. I'm sure she thought of you, but I know her motives were mostly based on what she thinks is best for Jess."

Alex raised her brow. She was surprised the detective had shared so much about his personal life. "Thanks, Elliot."

He stood, nodded and left the bar.

_How was she ever going to win back her detective?_

"**Island"**

**Meatpacking District **

**Saturday December 15****th****, 22:45**

Juan Rios watched the monitors in the security control room. He had to hand it to the pair of teenagers out on the dance floor of the club he managed, they were good. Since they started frequenting Island sales of liquor had gone up, as had the volume of patrons. Juan wondered if he should go out and thank them for the most profitable quarter Carlos Ramirez, his boss and owner of Island, had ever seen. He closed the files his security team had made on both teens as he watched them dance. _No…not yet. I'll let Carlos deal with them_.

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Sunday December 16, 08:51**

Breakfast had been pretty quiet. Alex and Olivia had only spoken to and asked Jess questions, never each other. They also never really looked at one another. As she was clearing the dishes Alex asked Jess where she had been last night.

"Richard and I went out to dinner and then saw a movie," Jess said as she bent down and loaded the dishwasher.

The A.D.A. looked at Olivia but she didn't look back at her. Alex wasn't buying the story her daughter was serving up that morning. "You and Richard see a lot of movies. You didn't come home until after 1AM."

Jess shrugged and continued to move dishes and frying pans around the kitchen, never looking at the women at the table. "We saw a late movie. My curfew when I'm with Richard is 1:30, I was home before then."

"Are you buying this?" Alex asked Olivia since she wouldn't look at her.

The detective looked up from her paper at Jess. "What movie did you see?"

"_Armored_"

"Where you drinking last night?"

Jess narrowed her eyes. "What did you just ask me?"

Olivia set the paper down a little bit more on the table. "You heard me. Where you drinking last night?"

"No! I wasn't doing drugs either! Jesus Christ, you wanna piss test me just to make sure?" Jess asked, furious that Olivia was even asking her these questions.

"Jess, we are just worried about you," Alex said standing up.

The teenager took the mug that had held her chocolate milk in it and threw it against the kitchen cupboards. "That's bullshit! You don't trust me! What the hell is the matter with the two of you?" She threw up her arms in frustration. "No, no, you know what, save it. I don't give a shit what is going on with the two of you!" She picked up a plastic cup and then looked at the women. "I will pee in this cup and then you both can take it down to One PP and have it tested for whatever you think I'm doing. Happy?"

"We trust you, Jess. We're just worried that you are out so much," Alex tried to reason.

"It was Saturday night and both Richard and I are on break from school. It was nice to get out and do something fun," Jess said rolling her eyes.

"The urine test won't be necessary," Olivia said looking at Jess disapprovingly. "It's too early for this attitude. Clean up the mug and lose the theatrics." She stood up and left the kitchen.

Jess rolled her eyes but grabbed the dustpan and broom from a tall cupboard. She cleaned up the mug in silence. Alex watched her and when the teen had finished and was walking past her to leave the kitchen she hugged Jess. "What's going on with you?"

"My life is spinning at the speed of light," Jess confessed. Although she had been strong for Casey the ordeal from the other night was creeping back to her. She was angry that Olivia and the guys had let Desean Allen attack Casey. She was also angry that months after her own attack there were still parts of her life that Brian Nudds controlled.

"Breath, Jessie," Alex said.

The teen let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"Olivia and I love you. Let us in."

"Not yet," Jess confessed.

Alex kissed the top of the young woman's head. "When you're ready."

They let go of each other and Jess went and showered. Alex went to talk to Olivia.

"She's losing it," Alex said from the doorway of the bedroom Olivia had moved into.

The detective was trying to find clothing to wear out that day, although it was hard considering most of her wardrobe was scattered across the floor of the room and on the bed. "Do you think I'm blind and deaf? I know she's losing it."

Alex crossed her arms. "What are we going to do about it?"

"_We_ aren't going to do anything. _I_ am going to look for apartments today and hopefully find something that Jess and I can move into ASAP. Once the living situation is squared away and she settles into a new routine she will settle down," Olivia said, still avoiding the A.D.A.'s eyes.

"There is more going on with her than just the living arrangements in this house and you know it. Olivia, look at me!"

She turned and met the firey blue eyes that had been on her for the entire conversation. "She needs us. Her whole life has been falling apart over the last few weeks, last week in particular. We can't ignore that."

"I'm not ignoring it, Alex! I can only handle so much at one time. I have to find an apartment, finish up the paperwork on the Allen case, call Casey and see how she is and I have to get my daughter through a major life crisis." She picked up a pair of stray jeans from the bed. "It's called triage; I have to deal with the most pressing issues first. Finding a place for Jess and me to live and closing out the case are first up," Olivia said, her eyes widening the closer she got to the end of the sentence.

"Oh and our daughter is what, second, third…where is she in your list of things to deal with today?" Alex asked, walking into the bedroom, uncrossing her arms and gesturing.

A sick smile played across the detective's face. "Oh wow, you have a lotta nerve asking me where Jess fits into my priorities. Tell me, Alex, where was she on your list when you and Steele were working on her case? I mean between the rounds of heavy petting the two of you engaged in."

Alex narrowed her eyes. "Screw you, Olivia…you have no idea…"

"No, screw you!" She threw the jeans at Alex. "You have no idea what I would do for that little girl." Olivia pointed to the door leading to the bathroom where Jess was showering. "I am doing the best that I can given the position you have put me in. I'm sorry we can't all be as perfect as you, as composed as you, Alexandra. Get out," she seethed.

She didn't know what to say. Alex had caught the jeans but tossed them back on the bed. She turned and walked out of the bedroom. Olivia closed her eyes, breathed deeply and counted to ten. She concentrated, found clothing around the room and knocked on the bathroom door five minutes after the shower had turned off. Jess opened it, wearing a bra and jeans. "Come in" she said quietly.

Olivia found it somewhat amusing sharing a bathroom with the kid again. She put her clothing on the toilet seat and watched as Jess started to brush her hair. She stood behind her and took the brush out of her hand. The detective began brushing the teen's hair. They looked at each other's reflections in the mirror. "Do you like who you see when you look at yourself?" Olivia asked, referring to Jess's new hair colour.

"No," Jess said referring to how she acted earlier and how she felt right then. "I'm sorry about this morning."

The taller woman stopped brushing and put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "I know you are. That's not what I was referring to, though. I just meant: was the hair colour helping."

"Oh," Jess exhaled and smiled slightly. "Yeah, it is a little actually. I like it."

"I like it, too. We need to talk about a lot of things, Kid."

"I know," Jess said, biting her lower lip.

"Alex and I know you are lying about what you and Richard are doing when you go out. Things are changing between Alex and me. There are outstanding issues with you and Connie, not to mention the issues with you and Brian Nudds. At some point I need to talk to you about Casey as well."

For the first time Jess looked away. "When?"

Olivia gently wrapped her arms around her daughter, from behind and held her loosely not wanting her to feel trapped. "When you're ready."

The young woman leaned back into Olivia and held the older woman's hands in her own. She closed her eyes. "I scheduled a session with Dr. Hendrix on Monday during the day. I think I need to see her more."

"I think that's a good start," Olivia said as she kissed the top of Jess's head. "Want me to finish brushing your hair?"

Jess opened her eyes. "Sure." She pushed off the taller woman and stood on her own. "Are you and Ally coming to the Stabler Homestead tonight?"

"What's going on at the Stabler Homestead tonight?" Olivia asked, copying Jess's wording because she had never heard the kid use that term before.

The teen raise her right eyebrow. "Cook-off."

"Riiight. I'll be there. You'll have to ask Alex if she can make it."

"Is it okay with you if she comes?" Jess's entire brow was raised at this point.

"Yes," Olivia said, knowing that the blonde wuldn't have the balls to show her face at Elliot's house that evening.

With her hair brushed out Jess stepped away and put in product. She looked back at the detective. "I'm going to the diner to help Tony out with the brunch/lunch rush. Ken is meeting me there later to have a late lunch and then Richard is picking me up and taking me to Queens."

"Sounds good. I'll see you at Elliot's later today."

"Sweet. Have a good one," Jess said pulling a shirt over her head and leaving the bathroom.

"You too. Call me if you need anything," Olivia said as she started to undress.

"Will do," the teen said over her shoulder as she walked out and closed the door going to her bedroom. Jess grabbed her iPhone and went on the hunt for Alex. She found her in the office. The tiny brunette stood in the doorway. "Hey"

Alex put down her pen and looked over the top of her glasses at her daughter. "Hey." She motioned for the kid to come to her.

She walked in and stood beside the A.D.A. "I'm going to the diner for a bit to help Tony. Richard is picking me up later and taking me to Queens for the cook-off at the Stabler Homestead. Are you coming tonight?"

"I don't know…"

"Livie said it was okay," Jess urged.

It was hard to keep the shock off her face and Jess saw it etched there, although only for a moment. "I'm writing my closing arguments for Monday. I'll text you today and let you know for sure if I'm coming or not."

Jess leaned over and kissed the tiny pink scar, which matched her own, on Alex's neck. "I love you. I'm sorry about this morning."

The taller woman took Jess's hands in her own. "I love you, too. You have a lot on your plate right now. I can't even imagine what's going through your mind most of the time. I will always be here if you want to talk. Please, let me in."

"I will, just…give me some time, okay?"

Alex nodded and smiled. "Okay. Have fun with Tony."

Jess smiled back. "Count on it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Eight: Yo-Yo**

Having spent most of the day disappointed at what was available for her to rent Olivia called one last number. "D, it's Liv. Are you at home?"

"Hey, Liv! Yeah, I am."

"I need to talk to you; do you have a minute?"

"For you, totally. Remember how to get here?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think I'll be able to find my way. Be there in ten."

"Cool, I'll meet you outside."

Before she knew it, Olivia was standing in front of a very familiar building; what was unfamiliar was the doorman camped outside. She waited until she saw her friend and then walked up to the door. They hugged once they were close enough. "Long time no see. How are you?"

"I'm doing okay. How about you?" Olivia asked.

"I'm doing well. The building went co-op," D said as they walked into the building and out of the cold.

"So I see. Explains why I couldn't find it on any rental website."

D's brow furrowed. "I thought you and Jess moved in with your girl?"

"We did…now we're moving out."

"Sorry to hear that. How's the kid doing?"

"She's hangin' in there. Look, I was wondering if there is anything available in the building."

"To buy?" D asked with a raised brow.

Olivia nodded. "I need a place, Dillon. You are my last hope."

"That's a sad state, Liv, if I'm your last hope."

"You're tellin' me," she said sarcastically.

He sighed. "There is one place, on 14. It isn't on the market yet because we are still doing some work on it."

"Can I see it?" Olivia asked, hoping he would say yes.

"I'll get you the paperwork with the specs on it. Liv, I gotta warn you, it's a one bedroom plus den."

Olivia's hope faded and she sighed. "Can I see it anyway?"

D nodded. "Sure. Let me get the paperwork and the keys." He retrieved both items and returned to Olivia who was standing in the lobby by the elevators. D handed her the paperwork and they got in an elevator and headed to the 14th floor. Once they got there D unlocked and opened the door. Olivia walked in and knew instantly where everything was. She walked around the entire place and met Dillon in the living room. "It's the same layout as my old place."

He nodded. "Yes."

The detective looked through the paperwork. "It's says one bedroom plus den. That room is big enough to be a bedroom."

"Yeah, but it doesn't have a closet, so we can't advertize it as a bedroom."

Olivia raised her brow. "You're too honest for your own good, D. You should see the closets that are being advertised as two-bedroom apartments in this city these days." She walked around in the living room. "Jess would love being back in the old building."

"She's a great kid, Liv. I miss her around here."

The brunette looked at the paperwork again, mostly at the price. She smiled. "Where do I sign?"

"You serious?" D asked, a half-smile hijacking his face.

"Dead serious." Olivia's smiled got wider.

"It's not available, officially, until next week. I have the mortgage paperwork downstairs. Take it to your bank and have a lawyer look it over. Come back with it signed on Monday and the place it yours." Dillon said with a full-on smile.

Olivia hugged him. "Thank you! Thank you sooo much, D!"

He hugged her back and then they let go of each other. "I'm sorry about what happened between you and your girl, but it will be nice having you back in the building, Liv."

They went back to Dillon's unit and he gave her the paperwork. She thanked him again and left. She headed to the station house to grab a car to drive to Elliot's place. Her Mustang still wouldn't make it out there in the snow. She tucked the mortgage papers into her leather jacket before she walked into her partner's house for dinner. The cook-off was amazing. It was a tie and just as Olivia had called it earlier Alex was a no-show.

After dinner the kids cleared, did the dishes and went to the living room to play Rockband. Olivia, Elliot and Kathy sat at the table. In a weird way, Olivia actually missed Alex's presences at the table.

Kathy nudged Elliot and he looked at his partner. "Uh, Liv, Kathy and I were talking and we wanted you to know that you and Jess are welcome to stay here until you find a place."

"I really appreciate that." She looked from Elliot to Kathy. "But there is no way Jess and I could impose on you guys like that."

"It wouldn't be imposing. Liv, you and Jess are family," Kathy said.

"She's right," Elliot said with a half-smile. "We're stuck with each other."

The living room erupted with yelling and laughter as the stats came up on the television screen after the song was over. Olivia looked at her partner and smiled her trademark crooked smile. "There is no way we could live together. Plus, the sheer volume our kids live at when they are all together is enough to wake the dead."

Elliot grinned from ear to ear. His partner was starting to refer to Jess as her kid. "You're right." He looked at his wife. "She's right."

Kathy shook her head and looked at Olivia. "We would make it work, Liv."

"Actually, I think I may have found a place today."

On their way back to the One-six to drop off the sedan Olivia and Jess talked about the diner and Tony. The teen never mentioned Connie, which led the detective to believe the woman hadn't been there. All she cared about was that Jess had had fun with Tony and Ken, and she had. They dumped the car at the station house and took the subway up to Alex's condo. Jess put all the leftovers in the fridge. She had brought home some of her dish and some of Elliot's for Alex. She put both containers in a bag and wrote Ally on the bag. She put the other containers in the fridge and went to Alex's bedroom. The blonde was going over notes as she sat up in bed. "Whatta doing?"

She put her pen down and looked over her glasses at Jess. "Going over my closing."

Jess walked over to the bed and laid down beside Alex. "Can I come to court tomorrow?"

The blonde shook her head. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea." She started to stoke the now brunette hair of the tiny person laying beside her. "I'm sorry I couldn't make the cook-off. Who won?"

"It was a tie," Jess said, closing her eyes and relaxing. "Ally, it was weird not having you there."

"It was really hard not being able to go," Alex's voice broke with the last word of the sentence.

"I brought you back leftovers; some of what I made and some of what Elliot made."

Alex smiled. "Yours is better."

The younger woman giggled. "You haven't even tasted either dish."

"I don't have to; I _know_ yours is better."

"Thanks, Ally. Will you read me your closing?"

Alex sighed. "Why do you want to hear it?"

"I need to hear the end…I need the case to have an ending."

The A.D.A. cleared her throat and began reading.

Olivia stood outside the bedroom that she used to share with Alex and listened. She had to admit two things. Alex's closing was a thing of beauty, if one could ever see something like that in that way. She also had to agree with her daughter. _It had been weird without Alex that night_.

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Monday December 17, 17:45**

Alex and Olivia had bought a PS3 and Jess had bought Rockband for herself. She played it a lot when her mother's weren't home. The young woman knew the detective would play but that Alex wouldn't and she didn't want to bother them with the noise. There were roughly seven songs Jess knew well enough that she could sing and play guitar to at the same time. With the microphone in front of her and a guitar across her body she chose one of those songs. Olivia and Alex were both still at work and Jess needed to get out some of her frustration before she went another round with the two of them this evening.

As Olivia was about to put the key in the door to the condo she heard applause coming from inside and the video game load up the song. Olivia waited outside the door for a moment. Jess had bought Rockband, along with other games for the PlayStation 3 but the detective had never heard her actually play Rockband here at the condo. The song started and she was shocked to hear someone singing. Olivia put the key in the door and turned it. She opened the door, slid inside, closed it and walked into the living room without a sound. Her jaw dropped slightly at the sight. It was actually her daughter who was singing and playing guitar.

(My best friend gave me the best advice  
He said each day's a gift and not a given right  
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind  
And try to take the path less traveled by  
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?  
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life  
What's worth the price is always worth the fight  
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try  
So live like you're never living twice  
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last?  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?  
Reminisce old memories?  
Would you forgive your enemies?  
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?  
Swear up and down to God above  
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day  
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?  
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars  
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes  
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life  
Let nothing stand in your way  
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last?  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?  
Reminisce old memories?  
Would you forgive your enemies?  
And would you find that one you're dreaming of  
Swear up and down to God above  
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?)

When the song was over Jess's arms dropped off the guitar as she waited to see her score; the vocal and guitar stats came up and she received a 100% on both. Olivia had cried at the sight and the words her daughter had sung. She didn't want to scare her so she spoke softly. "You can sing?"

The teenager inhaled sharply and held her breath as she turned around. Jess's eyes met Olivia's deep brown ones and she exhaled. "Kind of."

"Not kind of. You can sing. Why don't you ever sing when you play this at the Stabler's?" the detective asked as she walked around the couch and closer to the teen.

Jess shrugged.

The brunette shot her a bit of a sly look. "Liar." Her eyes softened as did her tone. "You're scared?"

"Sort of," Jess said slowly, still in a bit of shock from Olivia having walked in on her. "I'm not really good and I don't want people to watch me. I mean, what if I fuck up?"

Olivia raised her brow. "Then you fuck up. Jess, you are really good but you shouldn't worry about what other people think or say. You should do what you wanna do, what makes you happy. If you like to sing then you should."

"Maybe." Jess shrugged, still embarrassed. She looked deeper into Olivia's eyes. "Why were you crying?"

The detective reddened slightly from being called out. "I was just thinking…" She trailed off and Jess wasn't sure if she should push her. The truth was the teen was growing tired of the charade that had become every minute at home with her mothers. So, she pushed.

"Can you forgive her?"

"Forgive who for what?" Olivia asked, trying to buy time.

Jess shed the guitar, leaned it against the coffee table and looked back at Olivia. "Stop it. I was born at night but not last night. You know that I mean."

Olivia shrugged off her leather jacket and let it hit the hardwood floor of the vast living room. "What makes you think I have to forgive her? Couldn't she have to forgive me?"

The stalling tacit was obvious. "I know what you're doing, stop it. I'm not going to ask you what Alex did, although I have my suspicions. I know she messed up because when she looks at you you won't look back at her."

"I'm not trying to stall, but I want to ask you something. I promise after you answer I will talk about this with you."

The teen rolled her eyes, not totally convinced, sighed and looked back at Olivia.

"That song you just sang, do you like it?"

Jess furrowed her brow, taken back by the question. "Yeah, the band is kindda lame but I really like the lyrics."

The detective sat on the couch, forcing Jess to look down at her and her to look up at Jess. "Why do you like the lyrics?"

Continuing to stand, feeling comfortable explaining herself standing, Jess spoke. "It reminds that I shouldn't let the few tragic or horrible things that have happened to me dictate how I live my life. They affect me everyday, but they are no reason not to be happy. I want to be happy; I want to live my life on my terms as much as I can. That song, it makes me feel like I can do that and singing it is like building a foundation for actually living like that."

Hearing her daughter's words brought tears to Olivia's eyes. The resilience in the child amazed her. After everything she had been though she desperately just wanted to be happy. "You deserve that, Jessie, to be happy. I want that for you. I know sometimes I make it very hard for you to be."

"You don't make it hard for me to be happy _you_ make me happy. Don't ever think that you hurt me or deprive me of happiness because of who you are or what you do for a living. I love you, Livie. This, what we have, was written long ago for us. I totally believe that it was fate that brought us together. What is happening here, though, isn't about us. This conversation was supposed to be about you and Alex. If you can forgive her for sleeping with Jim Steele then forgive her. If you can't then we need to move out of here and find a place to live. I can't do this anymore; watch this ridicules show-down the two of you are having. It's killing me." Tears began to form but Jess tried to push them back.

Olivia was shocked. Not just at the brazen attempt to confirm what Alex had done, but also the ease with which Jess was willing to leave the condo she had called home for a while now. "First of all," she said wanting to clear the air about Alex. "Alex didn't sleep with Steele. Secondly, I am surprised you want to leave here. This is your home."

"If she didn't sleep with him, she must have been damn close to it. I can appreciate why it would be hard to forgive that." Jess finally sat down and crossed her legs so that her feet were on the couch as well. "Yes, is this my home. You are here, Ally is here, my bed and clothing are here but when you get down to, it it's four walls. What makes it a home is us, this family. In a few weeks, barring any unforeseen issues my adoption will be final. You will be my mom, legally. No one can ever take me away from you. If you leave this condo I will go with you. For better or worse, you are stuck with me." Jess smiled slightly. It faded as she looked away from Olivia and then looked back. "I will still want to come here. Ally is my family, too. I want to see her. But you are my mom; my home is wherever you are."

Tears fell out of Olivia's eyes and down her cheeks. "I'm your mom."

Jess smiled though her own tears. "Yes, you are. You are someone's mom." The young woman rolled onto her knees leaned over and hugged her. She leaned into Jess as she wrapped her arms around the small body. They let go of each other and Jess leaned back on her knees. Olivia looked at her. "I waited a long time for you."

The teen took her thumb and wiped a tear from the detective's cheek. "I'm here now. Forget about the rest; it doesn't matter."

She couldn't believe it but the kid was right. It didn't matter how long she had waited or about how devastated she had been when the adoption agency had rejected her. All that matter was that she had her little girl. Olivia smiled. "You're right."

The tiny brunette pursed her lips. "Let it go." She shrugged. "The sooner you learn to live in the moment the happier you'll be, I promise."

"I need to ask you a really difficult question and I need your honest answer. I won't be angry, I swear," Olivia said in a very serious tone.

Jess wasn't sure how much more serious she could take right then. "Okay…"

The detective inhaled and exhaled as she spoke. "If something, tragic, were to happen to me while you're still growing up or in school who would you want to live with?"

A million thoughts went though Jess's head as she looked away. None of them were of who she would want to live with; they were all of what could happen to Olivia every day she went to work. "Jess?" Olivia questioned. It snapped the teen out of her own thoughts. She looked at the brunette. "Ally. I'd want to live with Ally."

"Not Elliot? You won't want to live with the Stablers?" the detective questioned.

The teen shook her head. "Elliot and Kathy are like my aunt and uncle. I know it sounds weird cause I'm dating their son but that's kindda how I see them. Alex is mine, the way you are mine. I would want to live with her."

Olivia smiled. She had done the right thing. She reached down and went though her leather jacket. When she was done she produced a bunch of folded papers. "You're right about your adoption. It will be final in a couple of weeks so I re-did my will. I made you my sole beneficiary. Are you okay with that?"

The young woman nodded and smiled slightly. "I get your Mustang?"

"Yes, Kid. You get the Mustang," Olivia said as she chuckled.

Jess wanted to know who Olivia had left her to if something tragic were to happen to the detective. For some reason she just couldn't ask.

"Jessie, I left you to Alex. She loves you and she will protect and give you a good life." Olivia flipped the papers open and to the seventh page. She handed it to Jess, who took it and looked at it.

"You knew," Jess whispered in disbelief as she looked up.

Olivia nodded. "I had a pretty good idea."

The teen gave a half smile. "A mother always knows." Jess looked away and realized, in light of what was happening between the women raising her Olivia still chose Alex to continue the job without her. _What a selfless act the detective had done._ She looked back at Olivia. "Thank you."

"She's the best," Olivia smiled slightly.

"Does she know?" Jess asked looking down and actually reading the paper in her hand. 'I appoint Alexandra Cabot legal and financial guardian of my daughter, Jessica O'Malley, until she is twenty-one years of age or out of school; whichever happens last.'

Olivia watched Jess read the words. She could see the relief in the child's face knowing that she would never be alone ever again. "No, she doesn't." Jess made eye contact with her again. "I know it's sort of morbid but I wanted it to be part of her Christmas present."

"That's not morbid. It's going to make her happy. You have to tell her, Livie. Whether or not you can forgive her she has a right to know." Jess flipped the papers back to the top sheet, folded it and gave it back to Olivia.

"I want to keep this between us right now, okay? I will tell her, but I want it to be on my terms."

Jess nodded. "I won't say anything. This is your news to tell her, not mine."

Olivia smiled then nodded to the television. "Will you sing me another song?"

"Sure, but I have to pick it. I only know a few songs well enough to be able to sing the words and play guitar at the same time."

"I'll listen to whatever you play. I just wanna hear you sing."

Jess got up, picked up the guitar and chose another song. Olivia sat back on the couch and listened to her daughter sing and watched her play the toy guitar. She became lost in her own thoughts and the beautiful voice for the next 30 minutes.

Alex came home shortly after Jess shut off Rockband and she and Olivia had started dinner. The bizarre dance that had become Jess's reality with the A.D.A. and the detective began. Both women only spoke to her. They asked about her day, about her boyfriend, her new friends at Mount Pleasant Prep., the work she was doing for Morales, basically anything in order to not actually have to talk to each other. Jess played along and answered every question.

They sat down and started eating. It was silent for a couple of minutes; Jess was willing to play along but she certainly wasn't going to advocate the dance by asking the women sitting with her individual questions. Olivia looked at Alex. "How did closing arguments go?"

The tall blonde almost choked on her dinner. Olivia hadn't voluntarily addressed her in days. "They went well," she answered looking up at her detective and for the first time in what seemed like forever was actually met with beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"Good. I know you worked hard on it. Our DD5's are done on the Allen case. When is his arraignment?" Olivia asked as she shoveled a fork full of food into her mouth.

Alex was still in slight shock at the Olivia's willingness to talk to her, even if it was only about work. "It had to be held over until tomorrow. That was the first open spot on a docket."

"You ready for it?" Olivia's tone wasn't mocking; it was sincere. She was trying to defuse the show-down her daughter had accused her of participating in earlier that evening.

"Yes, I think so. It's pretty straight forward. You and El cinched the case for me by getting a confession. That, along with the newest victim's ID and statement and the forensic evidence, make a compelling case."

Jess sat in silence as her eyes darted between the women sitting with her. They were both eating and talking as if nothing had ever come between them.

"Think you'll be able to establish the pattern?" Olivia asked making sure to make eye contact.

Alex nodded. "I think so. He confessed to every rape. Plus the evidence you sent to Warner from Allen's apartment will hopefully have DNA on it. Even though the victims can't ID him we can do a voice line up. That would make the case stronger."

"El and I can set that up in the morning, I mean if you think it's worth it?"

"Yeah, every little bit helps. Plus, if the victims can ID him they might get more closure," Alex said as she ate her last bite of food.

Both women looked at Jess, who hadn't touched her food in roughly five minutes. "You gonna eat?" Olivia said cutting the teen a sly look.

Jess nodded and started eating. She didn't say anything for a long time; she listened to the other women talk and cleared their plates. After dinner Jess looked at Olivia. "Is Fin gonna be in the squad tomorrow morning?"

"Should be, why?"

"I wanna take him out for breakfast to thank him," Jess said matter-of-factly.

Alex raised her brow. "Thank him for what?"

"For saving Cass from getting raped." The kid knew this would start something between all three of them but she didn't care; it was time to start talking.

"Did Casey talk to you about the case?" Alex asked, anger simmering beneath the surface.

Jess put her hands up in surrender. "Calm down. She texted me on Friday night. I told her to come here and she did. It was really late when she got here. She didn't want to be alone and needed to talk to someone who knew what she was going through. We talked for a bit, then she had a shower and went to bed. She didn't want to go home…" Jess looked away. "I don't think she will ever spend another night in her apartment." She looked back at the women. "I told her she could stay here. She slept in my room for a couple of hours. She woke up a couple of times and came out here. I was sleeping on the couch but I woke up when I heard her crying. I asked her if she wanted me to sleep in the room with her. Cass nodded, so I did. I was just gonna sleep on the floor but she asked to sleep beside her." Jess shrugged and looked away again. "She held my hand and slept for a while." She looked back at Olivia and Alex. "Cass called her parents after she showered and wrote her article. They came and picked her up downstairs. She took time off work and she is going to look for a new apartment."

Olivia raised her brow. "That explains why she isn't answering my calls. Jess, why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

The teen shrugged. "What happened was between me and Cass; it doesn't have anything to do with you and Ally. We were both attacked and almost raped. She needs someone to talk to who knows what she is going though and I'm going to be that person."

"You don't have to be. You shouldn't feel that this is up to you to take on," Olivia said.

"I don't think of it as something I am taking on. It's helping a friend. Cass and I are friends; I care about her. Are you telling me I can't?" She looked at the women.

Alex and Olivia looked at each other and silently decided the answer. Alex looked down at Jess. "We aren't saying that at all. If you want to help Casey then you should."

The detective nodded. "Alex is right. We just don't want you to feel that you have to help Casey face this all by yourself. She is probably going to need counseling, maybe group therapy. There is only so far you can see her down the path of recovery before you will have to let her go and she will have to help herself."

"I know," Jess said nodding. "I just don't want her to face it alone. I was really lucky to have so many people help me feel like I wasn't alone. I felt loved and cared for. You two and the guys from the squad helped me feel…normal, like I wasn't damaged or something. I just want Cass to feel the same thing. I really wanna thank Fin, though, and I know how much he loves breakfast."

Olivia smiled. "That he does." The smile faded. "I'm sorry, Jessie."

The teen narrowed her eyes. "For what?"

"You asked me not to let Casey get raped. I promised you I would protect her and I didn't."

"Cass told me everything. She said you and the guys did everything you possibly could to keep her safe. She doesn't blame you for what happened and neither do I. No one could have predicted that Allen would take her to her own place. Don't blame yourself." Jess walked up to Olivia and hugged her.

The brunette kissed the top of her head and smiled at Alex as she spoke, "Jess, will you sing for Ally?"

Alex's eyes widened slightly as she looked at Jess. The young woman unwound herself from Olivia and met the blonde's eyes. "Sure."

"You can sing?" Alex asked grinning.

Jess matched the grin. "Well, Livie thinks I can. You can make up your own mind."

The women moved to the living room. Jess started up Rockband and chose a song. She sang and played the guitar to Alex's amazement. She turned her head with her mouth open to look at Olivia. Her detective smiled back at her and winked. The blonde smiled and looked back at Jess. When the song was over and the stats were being tallied Jess watched the screen. Olivia looked at her. "Turn around."

Jess turned and looked at both women. Alex had a huge smile on her face. "Jessie, that was amazing. Why haven't you ever sung before when you played that game?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She looked at the ground. "I don't think I'm very good."

Alex shook her head and smiled sweetly. "Look at me. You are incredible. I want to here another song." Jess smiled and looked at Olivia. "Will you play, too?"

The detective smiled. "Believe me; you don't want to hear me sing. I will play the other guitar though."

Jess rolled her eyes. "I'll take what I can get." She turned back to the television screen and clicked from the stat page to another page in order to add another player. Olivia grabbed the other guitar, turned it on and selected the avatar she had built. The two of them played five songs, Jess sang four of them. Alex watched as the two people she loved most in her life smiled and laughed. After every song the three of them talked to one another as the next song was chosen. The blonde wanted to cry. She wondered if this would be the last night she had with her family. _How could she have thrown it all away?_

After the fifth song Jess declared she was tried and was retiring for the night. Alex noted that it was early but given the week the kid had just wrapped up and the weeks that lay ahead of her, turning in early seemed like a good idea. She wanted to protest and beg for one more song; just another five minutes of this bliss before it ended, forever. Instead she hugged Jess goodnight and kissed her on the tiny pink scar on her neck. The show of emotion threw Jess slightly. It made her hug the taller woman again, gripping Alex tighter as she whispered, "You will never lose me."

Alex whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Don't say it to me; say it to Livie." Before Alex could say anything else, Jess let go, got off the couch and went to say goodnight to Olivia, who had taken up residence in the oversized arm chair again. Once the door to Jess's bedroom was closed Alex looked at Olivia. "She's really good. We should push her to pursue singing."

The detective nodded. "I actually have a plan for that. I need to make a phone call in the morning."

There was so much Alex wanted to say but she didn't know where to start. "Thanks…for asking her to sing for me. And…uh…for the way you treated me at dinner. I don't deserve any of your kindness but you put Jess first so she didn't have to sit though anymore awkward time with us and I really appreciate it."

Olivia nodded slowly. _It was now or never._ "Al, I didn't do it for Jess. I mean, okay at first, yes, I did but at some point I continued it for you and me. Before there was Jess there was just you and me. You made me happy. I only ever wanted you. I loved you…I still love you."

The breath in Alex's throat caught as Olivia spoke. _It was time to jump into the deep end and see if her detective pulled her out or let her drown._ She perched herself on the end of the couch, closest to the chair. "Liv, I love you. I will spend the rest of my life showing you that, proving that to you if you would let me. What I did to you, to us, is the biggest regret of my life. If you could find it in yourself to let me back into your life I will try to prove to you that I will never hurt you again."

"I want to believe that, I really do. What you did, it cut me." Olivia sighed as she looked into the now dark blue eyes of the woman she loved. "I want to give us one last chance. I want to try to forgive you." She drew her legs up under herself, leaned closer to Alex but didn't look at her. "I can't go through this yo-yo relationship anymore. We have turned and run from so many small things in the years we have known each other, wasted so much time not turning and facing these issues. This is it for me. We are so broken right now that I'm not sure we can come back from where we are." She looked up when she heard Alex crying. "If we can get though this together, if we can come back from this, Alex, we will be unbreakable."

Alex tried to stifle her tears. "I can do this." She swallowed hard. "We can do this. It's the only thing I've ever wanted and I swear to you I will spend the rest of my days proving that to you."

"As I will you." Olivia leaned over further and wiped the tears on her lover's cheeks away with her thumb. "Let's go to bed."

The women got up and went to their bedroom. Olivia closed the door, both women stripped and got into bed. Alex started to cry. Olivia turned to her. "Come here." The blonde slid over, so that she was lying half on Olivia. Wrapped in her detective's arms, the A.D.A. felt complete. She would never hurt her lover again. With the last chance she had been granted she wouldn't throw it or Olivia away.

Olivia felt whole again. She couldn't deny the truth; Alexandra Cabot completed her. Olivia had to believe that what she said was true because the alternative, not having Alex by her side, was something the she wasn't willing to entertain. It was going to take every ounce of her to start to trust the woman she loved again. They lay in each other's arms and fell asleep. When they woke the next morning they were still entangled. It was the best sleep either woman had had in a week.

**Tuesday December 18, 07:21**

Breakfast was pleasant, as if nothing had ever come between Alex and Olivia. She couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, what's going on with you two?" Jess asked over her mug full of chocolate milk.

The women looked at each other and smiled. They looked back at their daughter. "Nothing," they said in unison.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Are we staying here or moving?" she asked looking only at the detective.

Although she answered Jess she looked at Alex. "This is our home; this is where our family is."

"It's where this family will always be," The blonde said looking at Olivia.

"The two of you make me wanna puke and that would be a shame cause the one pancake I had to tide me over until I take Fin out for breakfast was good this morning," Jess said. She picked up the pencil and went back to the Sudku in front of her. She smiled to herself, not wanting to give the women the satisfaction of seeing it. _Her mothers were back together._

"Did you see Dr. Hendrix on Monday?" Olivia asked. She never asked about what her daughter and the doctor talked about but she did make sure the kid was going.

Jess tilted her head slightly and looked up from the puzzle at the detective. "Yeah, of course."

"Are you going to see her again this week?" Alex asked. It was rare that she ever asked the teen about her visits with the therapist.

This time Jess lifted her head all the way and put down the pencil in her hand. "Yeah…" she said slowly. "What's with the third-degree?"

Olivia furrowed her brow. "It's two questions, Kid…not an interrogation." Her face softened. "Look, Jessie…a lot has happened to you over the last week and a half. Alex and I are very worried about you. Neither one of us has been able to really talk to you about it."

The blonde shook her head. "Between the cases we have been working and our own problems Liv and I haven't given you the time you deserved. We just want to make sure that you are talking to Rebecca about it. I know doesn't seem like it but if you ever want to talk to us about anything you know you can."

Jess nodded. "I know." She bit her bottom lip and then spoke. "I did talk to Rebecca about my father and Connie…"

Olivia and Alex watched the pain on their daughter's face. It broke their hearts. It also made them realize they really hadn't been there for her when she needed them the most.

The teen watched the faces of the women drop. She knew they felt bad about not being around very much in the last week and a bit. The truth was, though, she hadn't felt much like talking about it anyway. "The thing is, I needed time to process everything; I'm still trying to sort some shit out. Rebecca is helping me. I do want to talk to both of you, just…not yet. When I'm ready, I will."

Both women nodded and breakfast continued. On their way out the door Olivia looked at Jess as she put on her almost knee-high DC winter boots and Roxy coat. "Ally and I are going out tonight after dinner."

This time Jess did let the women see her smile. "Sweet. Spare me the horny details, but I am happy for you both."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You think you're funny, don't you?" she said as she pulled on knee-high boots of her own and grabbed her khaki coloured classic winter Pea coat.

Jess looked lovingly at her. "Aren't I?"

Olivia pulled on her black leather jacket and stood behind Jess. "Yeah, you're a riot. We are all going to be late for work if we keep this up," she said with a smile on her face.

"You love _this_," Jess said narrowing her eyes as she turned around.

The detective bent down and kissed her nose. "Yes, I do." She looked at Alex. "Very much."

Jess turned and looked at the A.D.A. "If the verdict comes back on my father, text me. I wanna be there when it's read out in court."

Both women stopped and looked down at their daughter. Alex was the first to address her. "You shouldn't be there. I will tell you what happened. You can meet me in my office after the verdict."

"We'll both tell you," Olivia said.

"No." Jess shook her head. "I want to hear it, in court. I have a right to be there."

The taller women looked at each other and sighed. "Fine," Alex said.

"Text me, too. I'll come down to the courthouse," Olivia added.

The detective and Jess went to the station house. Alex went straight to the courthouse for Desean Allen's arraignment.

Later that day the family had dinner together and it was nice. The jury was still out on Brian Nudds case and Desean Allen had been arraigned and held in remand. Olivia had beaten everyone home that day and managed to move all of her belongings back into the bedroom she once again shared with Alex. They got dressed for their night out and walked into the living room to say goodnight to Jess.

"Wow…you two look smoking.'" Jess sat her laptop on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Both women smiled. "Thanks," Olivia said. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Richard is coming over and we are having a quiet night _in_." Jess smiled.

"That's a change," Alex said. "You're not going out to see a movie?" She cocked her right brow when she said the last word.

"You really wanna start _this _now?" Jess challenged.

The blonde turned and looked Olivia up and down. "And risk not being able to dance with this extraordinary woman…absolutely not." She looked back at Jess. "Consider yourself lucky _for the night._"

Olivia smiled. "Don't wait up, Kid."

Jess followed them to the door and watched them get their winter gear on. "Wouldn't think of it. Can Richard stay over?"

"In the spare bedroom, yes," Olivia said as she hugged her daughter goodbye.

"Thanks."

Alex hugged Jess goodnight and the teen whispered in her ear. "Thanks for fighting for us."

"I shouldn't have thrown the two people I love most in this world away in the first place. You should thank Liv for giving me the chance to prove how much I love her."

"Still, you fought for the chance. Go out there and show her how much you love her."

"I plan on doing just that, forever."

After she shut the door, Jess looked at her iPhone. She had an hour until Richard was coming over. She headed for the bathroom to shower. Roughly an hour later there was a knock at the door. She knew it was her boyfriend but she looked out the peephole anyway. She unlocked and opened the door. Richard walked in and closed the door. They kissed. He set down the bag he had brought, took off his jacket and hung it in the closet. They walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Jess looked at him. "Have you bought my Christmas present yet?"

Richard looked at her, slightly embarrassed. "No…I mean yeah." He shook his head. "I know what I am getting you, but I haven't bought it yet."

"I have something in mind."

"Oh yeah…what's that?" he asked. Richard wasn't lying; he knew what he was going to get her.

"I have a favor to ask you." She looked away and then back at him. "I need you to make love to me."

He grinned. "We do that all the time…how is that a favor?"

"You know those things I told you never to do to me? Those places I told you never to touch?"

The grin disappeared, Richard nodded but said nothing.

"I want you to do them to me; touch me in those places," Jess said as she bit her bottom lip.

He shook his head. "No…no way. _He_ held you from behind._ He_ touched your inner thighs and your butt. I told you I would never do those things to you. I _promised_ you."

"I know you did," Jess nodded. "But now I'm telling you to do them; asking you to."

Richard narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I'm tired of not being able to do things because they remind me of _him_. I can't live like this anymore. I need to move on, in all aspects of my life."

"You have had a really rough week. Casey being attacked and coming here to talk to you about it must have brought back a lot of memories. I really think you should think about this a little more."

Jess took his hands in hers. "I have thought about this. I want _him_ out of my life, for good. If you touch me and hold me in the ways I have asked you not to, I may not like it at first. But eventually I think I will. It will become something you and I do, not something that _he_ did to me one night. Please…will you try?"

"This is what you want?"

She nodded.

"The minute you ask me to stop I will. Just say stop and I will."

"I will. I trust you, Richard. I know you respect me." She stood up, still holding his hand and pulled him. He stood up and followed her to her bedroom. When they walked in all the lights were off but there were enough candles lit to light half of Central Park. "You have thought about this," he said with a half-smile.

She turned and faced her boyfriend. "Yes, I have. Will you undress me?"

Richard nodded and started with her shirt. Once he had pulled it over her head he looked at her. She nodded and he reached around her, unclasped her bra and pulled it off of her. He once again looked at her and reached for the button on her jeans. He undid it and unzipped her pants. The couple was still looking at each other. "It's okay. Take it all off me."

He slid his thumbs under the top of her panties and pulled the jeans and the underwear off her at the same time. She stepped out of them. "Put me on the bed," Jess half asked/half commanded. Her boyfriend narrowed his eyes but did what she asked. He slid his hands down her back, over her hips and stopped at her backside. She put her arms around his neck and he lifted her up under the cheeks of her bum. Richard carried her to the bed and laid her down. She let go of his neck and watched with a small grin on her face as he stripped for her. He caught his girlfriend's gaze. "Enjoying the view?" he asked with a sly smile.

She smiled. "You have no idea."

The smile disappeared. "Was it bad…when I picked you up?"

Jess shook her head and pursed her lips. "No, it wasn't bad at all."

He joined her on the bed. She had her head on the pillows at the head of it. She smiled at him as he looked at her. "I will never hurt you…" Richard said as he gently spread her legs and pushed her knees up, forcing her feet flat on the bed. She nodded. "I know."

They broke eye contact as he looked down at her inner left thigh. He kissed it and then looked up at Jess. She smiled slightly and nodded to him. He kissed her two more times, each one closer to her center. Richard looked up at her again. Her eyes were lazy but she nodded to him to continue. He couldn't tell if she liked it or was trying to pretend she wasn't where she was. He kissed her twice more and then licked her clit gently. He licked her again and this time she bucked back. Her eyes were closed however there was a grin on her face. He licked at her one last time and sucked her clit for about 20 seconds before releasing it.

Jess let out a long breath and actually whimpered slightly at the release. He sat back on his knees and started from the top of her right inner thigh. He kissed her four times until he reached her center again. He repeated the same steps there as well. When Richard released his girlfriend's clit, he sat back on his knees again and ran his hands along both inner thighs a couple of times. She appreciated what he was doing, but she was really wet and needed him elsewhere. Jess spread her legs wider and let them fall onto the bed. This caused her back to arch slightly.

Richard took the hint. He ran his hands along her inner thighs, around her hips and under her backside. He watched to see if she flinched or in anyway disliked what he was doing. Her breathing became heavier, but she had a slight grin on the right side of her face. He pulled her by her backside closer to him, brought his right hand back over her hips and thigh and pushed two fingers inside. Jess's breathing got heavier as he pushed in and out of her. His penis also got incredibly hard as Jess's sex became wetter and warmer around his fingers.

"I want you…" she said in a labored breath. "Rub it between my legs…"

He didn't want to. Richard really didn't want to. He knew that's what Brian Nudds had done to his girlfriend. He slid his fingers out and took his penis in his hand. He leaned over Jess and rubbed himself through her slick folds. Her brow furrowed after three strokes and he was about to stop when she bucked forward.

"I need you in me," Jess whimpered. She hadn't been upset that Richard had been rubbing her; she was upset because it wasn't enough to get her off.

Richard reached over and grabbed the condom that had been sitting on the bed to the left of them. He ripped the package open with his teeth, slipped the condom out of the wrapper, spat it out and slid it on with his right hand. With a final stroke he pushed himself inside his girlfriend. She exhaled a long breath. He pulled out and pushed back in again. They developed a rhythm as Jess crossed her legs around her boyfriend's back. He leaned over her and put his right hand down on the pillow beside her head for leverage. His left hand pulled her backside closer to him. He actually forgot she had ever asked him not to touch her there.

Jess reached up and wound her arms around her boyfriend's neck. "More…"

He quickened the pace and she matched it. "Uh, uh, uh…I'm…gonna…come…" Richard panted.

"Uh, uh, uh…oh, no you don't…" Jess said, pushing the muscles of her sex against him.

"Ohhhhh…fuck…O'Malley…uh, uh, uh…"

"Bite my neck…ask me to come for you…uh, uh, uh…"

Richard leaned down farther. He licked the tension cord on the right side of his girlfriend's neck. She inhaled sharply and pushed her sex against him as hard as she could. He spoke three final words. "Come…for…me" Then he bit down and Jess's orgasm took over. Her sex tried to push him out but he held her in place with his left hand. The grip she had on his penis was vice-like. He couldn't hold out any longer; he came along with his girlfriend.

He collapsed on top of her and she ran her fingers up and down his back. When their breathing returned to normal, Richard rolled off of her and lay on his back. She rolled onto her side and nestled with him. "Thank you."

"Was it bad?"

"No." She draped her left arm over his chest. "It wasn't bad at all."

Richard remembered touching and gripping her backside. He flinched slightly remembering how he had rubbed her and bitten her neck. "I did those things to you. All those things that _He_ did to you…I did to you."

"They're no longer things Nudds did to me." Jess opted not to refer to him as her father. "They are things you did to me and I enjoyed them. They are things we do now."

"It's just that easy?" Richard asked not buying what his girlfriend was saying.

She lifted her head and looked into his chocolate eyes. "In the moment, yes, it was very easy. My body took over and I liked what you were doing. Later tonight or tomorrow I might feel differently." She looked away and shrugged. She looked back up at him. "I thought it would be worse than this. I thought I would hate it and beg you to stop. It wasn't bad, it was us and I liked it. This is kindda hard cause I'm not sure how I will feel about it later."

"Just be honest with me. Whatever you feel, whenever you feel it…just tell me." Richard asked.

Jess nodded. "I will. Will you rub my back?"

The young man nodded. "Tell me when to stop."

He rubbed her back for about five minutes before she asked him to stop. She had started crying about a minute after he started. Jess wasn't sure why she had started crying but she was glad her boyfriend hadn't questioned her about it. After he stopped rubbing her back she clung to him for a long time. She stopped crying about five minutes after she had started. "Sooooo…" she finally said as the tears dried up and she smiled slightly, "What are you getting me for Christmas?"

"Mmmmm…wouldn't you like to know…" Richard said with a small grin on his face.

**01:56**

When Alex and Olivia arrived home there was only one thing on each of their minds. They stripped each other very slowly, letting each article of clothing fall to the floor. They crawled under the duvet and Olivia cuddled up to the blonde. "I just want you to hold me. Is that okay?"

Alex smiled. "I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do."

Olivia stretched her arm out over the Alex's bare stomach and loved how soft it felt. "You're not mad I don't want to have sex?"

"Mad?" Alex questioned as she started to stroke her auburn hair. "No, not at all. Honestly, I really just wanted to hold you. I have missed you so much, Liv. I just…I want to hold you and never let you go."

"If you keep doing that I'm going to fall asleep." Olivia said, in a sleepy tone.

"Let the world fall away, sweetheart," Alex said as she continued to stroke her detective's hair. "We have all the time in the world."

Both women were asleep within minutes.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Nine: Sentencing

**Wednesday December 19, 08:02**

It had been a full house around the breakfast table that morning. Richard and Jess had cooked while Olivia and Alex had taken their sweet time getting up. They all left the condo at the same time. Jess looked at the Alex. "Text me if the verdict comes back."

"I will."

Richard furrowed his brow. "You're going to court to see that?"

"Yes," Jess nodded. "Is that a problem?"

"Why would you want to see that?" he asked.

Jess looked down at the tiled floor of the foyer. "It's not a want." She looked up at her boyfriend. "It's a need. I need to be there. I'm not asking you to understand, I just need you to accept it."

He nodded his head as his expression became softer. "Okay, consider it accepted."

She grinned at him slightly. "Thanks."

Olivia and Alex watched the exchange and then looked at each other. They cocked their heads slightly, which really meant that they would talk privately later.

Alex went to her office. Richard went to his part-time job with the landscaping company. Jess went to Dr. Hendrix's office for an appointment and then she was headed to Computer Crimes to help Morales with something. Olivia headed for the stationhouse.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Wednesday December 19, 08:41**

She walked in knowing that she was late. Olivia shed her leather coat on the back of her chair and went for a cup of coffee. When she returned to her desk and sat down and looked over at her partner. "Sorry I'm late."

Elliot looked up from the paperwork he had been pretending to read since she had rolled in. "Don't worry about it, Cragen's not even in yet.

Olivia sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Thank God. Whacha got there?"

The detective picked up the papers "Warren got the DNA back on the condoms we found at Allen's place."

She cocked her head to the right. "I still can't believe he keep the condoms he used when he raped his victims."

"I can't believe he had them pinned to a board in his bedroom," Elliot said with a disgusted look on his face."

"What were the results?" Olivia asked, also looking disgusted.

"What we expected. Each condom had his DNA in it. From the outside of each condom Warner was able to pull enough DNA to match to each of our victims."

"A confession that he was with each victim and now forensics to match, not bad. That plus the rape kit and photos from every victim. Allen isn't going anywhere for a long time." She grinned slightly. "On a much brighter note you will be happy to know that Richard left for work this morning with a full belly."

This time Elliot lowered the papers and sat back slightly in his chair. "He mentioned that he would be staying at your place last night. Thanks, Liv…for feeding him and letting him stay."

She lowered the mug of coffee. "Honestly, I really appreciate that you and Kathy let him stay with us. He and Jess seem to have a really solid relationship and she needs that now more than ever. Al and I have been so preoccupied with work and our own issues we realize he has been the one constant this whole time for her." Olivia gave a half-smile. "He's really stepped up for her. You and Kathy should be proud of him."

Elliot chuckled. "I am…I mean we are. I told him that just the other day. That texting thing really works. He tells me where he is all the time now and even asks for my advice." A grin appeared on his face. "You may be new to this whole parenting thing, but you have a really good handle on it."

The detective rolled her eyes. "Well, that remains to be seen." Worry struck her face as she looked at her partner. "The hearing is only a couple of weeks away. What if I don't get her? I mean, what if Wilkinson doesn't recommend me, or Judge Wong thinks I'm too much of a risk to assume full legal rights and obligations for Jess?"

"That won't happen, Liv." Elliot shook his head as he spoke. "You have completed everything the DCFS has asked of you and passed all of your home visits. You have also been raising Jess for months now; the Judge will be able to see that you are no more of a risk than anyone else. Plus, no one can deny the bond the two of you share. Liv, this is going to happen for you and Jess; just have a little faith."

Olivia sighed. "You're right, I just need to relax." She smiled. "Let me make one phone call and I'll take you out for coffee." She held up the mug, "This is garbage."

He tilted his head slightly. "You're buying this time…seriously."

Olivia had put down the mug and picked up the receiver of the phone on her desk. She looked down at the keypad and gestured with the receiver in her hand as she dialed the number off by heart with the other. "Yes, yes…seriously I'm buying this time."

"I'll believe that when I see it," he muttered and went back to his paperwork. He nodded to the Captain as he strolled through the bullpen for the first time that day.

A familiar voice answered the ringing on the other end of the connection. "Well, well…Liv, as I live and breathe. How are you?"

The southern drawl made her smile immediately. "I am well, Abbie. Not without some drama though. I could really go for one of your infamous tequila nights right about now."

"Do tell…oh and just to be clear those were infamous _poker_ nights. The tequila was just a side note." The A.D.A. waved her free hand in the air as she reminisced with her friend.

"Side note or not, there was always more tequila drank than poker hands played…I digress." Olivia rolled her eyes as she smiled. "You're coming for Christmas dinner right?"

"Of course, I haven't missed one yet. Taking the train into Pen station on the 26th, I'll be at your place by three o'clock at the latest. That reminds me. Have you come up with a gift you think my niece would like? I thought about asking her in one of my lengthy emails to her, but I really want to surprise her."

"Abbie, you could always read my mind. I'm calling mostly to talk to you about Jess's gift. I accidently walked in on her playing that video game Rockband the other day and she was singing. I had never heard her sing before. Ab, she's amazing! She doesn't really think that she is, but believe me, she's great. Al thinks so too. I was wondering if you still have those connections in the music business here in New York?"

The tall, dark-haired women put her mug of coffee down and grinned. Jess had never mentioned that she could sing. Abbie couldn't wait to hear her. "I have kept in contact with a few of my friends in the business. What were you looking for, studio time?"

"No, no…nothing like that." Olivia shook her head. "I was thinking of a vocal coach or something like that. She doesn't think she is very good, but I think if someone worked with her she would develop confidence and learn a lot."

Abbie sat back in her chair. "Leave it with me, Liv. I'll call you back when I have all the details just to make sure you and Al are comfortable with it. Now…what drama have you been holding out on me?"

The detective's tone became lower. "We will have lunch on the 27th and I will tell you everything then. Just the two of us, Ab."

"Wow…Liv, this must be some kind of fresh new hell. Call me if you need anything. Need me to bring anything for Christmas dinner or the couple of days I'll be in town?"

"Awww…come on, Abs. It wouldn't be me if it wasn't a fresh new hell type of situation. Just bring yourself…and maybe some of that tequila."

"Are you challenging me to a poker game, Benson?"

Olivia smiled again. "I have the cards; Alex has the chips, just missing the tequila and the southern drawl."

"They're on their way, _darlin_'." Abbie drew out the sentence and it made both women laugh.

"Can't wait, Abs. See you on the 26th."

"See ya then, Liv."

The detective hung up the phone, a grin still present on her lips. She felt Elliot's eyes on her. She met his gaze. "What?"

"I have three questions…"

She sat back in her chair. "Oh, this should be good."

"One, Jess can sing?" he asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, can you believe it? She's good, El. I hope she will sing for you at some point."

"Next time the kids are playing Rockband I will ask her. I really wanna hear her. Two, she sang for you and Alex. Sooo…what does that mean?" he asked, leaning forward and talking in a lower tone.

"It means she sang for me and Alex," Olivia said with a half-grin.

"Are you and Alex working things out?"

The detective nodded. The grin had morphed into her trade-mark crocked smile. "Yes."

Elliot grinned. "I knew you would."

"Yeah, yeah…whatever…" Olivia rolled her eyes, but the smile stayed in place.

"Three," he leaned in closer and dropped his head slightly. "Did you and Abbie have a _thing_ back in the day?"

"El, you already asked three questions," she pointed out.

"No, this is my third," he said a stupid grin on his face because his partner hadn't answered his question.

"Your first was about Jess signing, your second was what did Jess singing for Alex and I mean and your third was are Al and I working things out. Your fourth question is if Abbie Carmichael and I had a _thing_ back in the day. You said you had three questions, El, and I answered them."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "You owe me coffee. I say we take this outside."

Cragen's door opened and he stuck his head out. "Who's catching today?"

The grins disappeared from Elliot and Olivia's faces. They looked at their Captain. "We are," they said in unison.

"Warner just called. She's got the body of a man at this address that she says you should take a look at." He stuck his hand out and in it was a piece of paper. Olivia got up and took it from him. "Any word on the Nudds' verdict yet?"

She shook her head. "Not yet."

"When there is, take lost time and get to the courthouse to be with Alex and Jess," Cragen said.

Olivia took the paper from him and looked into his eyes. "How did you know Jess would want to be there?"

He pursed his lips. "Just a hunch. Take the time, Olivia."

"I will. Thanks Cap."

He nodded and went back into his office. Olivia turned, walked back to her desk and put on her coat. She looked at the paper in her hand. "Address is in the Village. Who's driving?"

"I am." Elliot said. "We're picking up coffee on the way, that you're buying, and we are finishing our discussion." He put on his coat.

She grabbed the keys from him as they walked out of the squad room. "I'm driving, we are going straight to the crime scene and we are listening to the radio."

Once they had disappeared through the door of the squad Munch looked across the desks at Fin. "Tell me we don't sound like that?"

"We don't…we always agree to get coffee first and we never agree on a radio station," Fin replied as he looked up from his paperwork.

"Please shoot me if we ever get like that," Munch said as he looked over his glasses at his partner.

"Better idea. If we ever get like that we will put in for new partners," Fin said and cocked his head slightly.

"Deal. You going to Liv's Christmas dinner this year?"

Fin nodded his head. "Yeah, are you?"

"Of course. You wanna car pool?"

"Sounds good. Whose drivin', though? Last time I got in that car of yours it didn't sound so hot."

Munch shook his head. "I'll drive. My car is fine."

"Naw, man. That car, if you can even call it that, is the worst. I'll drive."

"And be forced to listen to that stereo and that bass…I don't think so. I'll pick you up."

Their bickering continued for another five minutes.

**Wednesday December 19, 09:56**

Elliot had driven, they hadn't stopped for coffee and he hadn't been able to get a straight answer out of his partner about her and Abbie Carmichael. They exited the sedan and walked towards the crime scene tape. With a flash of their IDs they were escorted into a Brownstone. There was no blood anywhere and no signs of a struggle. The detectives made their way into a bedroom where they found Melinda Warner leaning over a naked, corpse on a bed.

Olivia looked at her. "Whatta we got?"

Melinda looked over her shoulder and then turned to face the detectives. She nodded to both of them. "White male, with obvious ligature marks to his neck. That, combined with the petechial hemorrhaging, leads me to believe he died of asphyxia."

The detectives moved closer to the bed and looked closer at the victim. Elliot looked back at the M.E. "He was strangled with a foreign object; those aren't hand prints around his neck."

"I know. My guess is a cord of some kind. I'll know more then I get him back to the morgue."

Olivia looked from the body to Warner. "There are no obvious signs of trauma and nothing in the room to suggest this case should be kicked to us, so why did you call SVU?"

Melinda looked between the partners. "There is an object lodged in the victim's rectum. Due to the tearing and blood, it was forced there before he was killed."

The partners looked at each other. Olivia's cell vibrated and she looked at the screen. "Alex" She looked at Elliot. "I have to take this." He nodded and she left the room. She answered the phone. "Hey, what's up? I'm at a crime scene."

"Jury's back in the Nudds case. I'm going to call Jessie. Can you meet her at the courthouse?" Alex asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yes, I can leave right now. Tell her to meet me inside the doors, before Security."

"Okay. Liv, I'm going to take the rest of the day off to be with her. No matter what the outcome is she is going to need someone."

The detective sighed as she looked around at the CSU techs going over every inch of the house. "Thanks so much, Al. You're right; she is going to need someone."

Alex knew her lover felt guilty about the fact that it couldn't be her who comforted their daughter that day. "Liv, you have a job to do. I'll be with her this time, but the next time she needs someone to lean on it will be you."

"You always know what to say." Olivia said as she closed her eyes.

"I love you; see you in court."

"I love you, too."

They disconnected and Olivia walked back into the bedroom. She looked at Elliot. "Jury is back in the Nudds case. I'm taking lost time for a few hours. Call John and Fin and have them come down here to help you out."

Elliot nodded. "You want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "Naw, we'll be fine. Alex is taking the rest of the day off to be with Jess. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay, if you need the day let me know. Oh, and let me know the verdict."

Olivia nodded. "I will. Thanks, El."

Melinda looked at her. "Olivia, I really hope the basted gets what he deserves and Jess gets some closure."

"Thanks, Melinda. So do I." She nodded to the M.E. and left the brownstone.

**Supreme Courthouse**

**60 Center Street, Manhattan**

**Wednesday December 19, 10:27**

Just as Olivia had instructed Alex to tell her, Jess was waiting inside the courthouse doors, before security. The detective undid her coat as she walked up to her. "Hey."

"Hey," Jess said, relief etched on her face. She threw her arms around Olivia's waist once she was close enough. The taller woman put her arms around the shorter one and held her close.

"We don't have to go in. We can wait outside and Ally can come out and tell us what happened."

Without letting go Jess answered, "No, I need to be in there. I just…I'm really glad you're here."

"No matter what, I will always be here for you. I love you."

The teen buried her face into Olivia. She could smell the faint scent of her perfume and the leather of her coat. She relaxed her grip and opened her eyes. "I love you, too." They let go of each other and walked over to security. Olivia presented her badge and ID. She was allowed to pass through with her service weapon. Jess showed her NYPD issued laminate that proved she worked for Computer Crimes at One Police Plaza; she was allowed to pass through with her laptop. The women walked the short distance to the courtroom and walked in. At the front of the room they saw Alex and Jim.

Alex noticed immediately and walked over to meet them. She looked down at Jess. "Hey, Kid. You're sure you wanna be here?"

Jess nodded. "I'm sure."

Alex nodded and pursed her lips. "Okay." Her features lightened slightly. "I'm taking the rest of the day off and I'm spending it with you."

"Seriously?" Jess asked a smirk played across her lips.

"Yes, seriously." Alex mimicked the smirk. "We can do whatever you want." The smirk faded and her tone became somber. "No matter what the outcome is in a few minutes, it's going to affect you, Jessie. I just want you to know that you won't be alone."

Jess hugged the A.D.A. and she hugged her back. "Thanks, Ally."

Alex looked over Jess's head at Olivia. Her eyes went between the women directly in front of her and Jim Steele ahead of her. Alex caught it and the older woman looked at her. "In a few minutes we will be rid of him, forever."

Olivia pursed her lips and nodded. Jess clung to Alex. "I hope so." Realizing that their daughter had misinterpreted which man Alex was referring to she sighed and closed her eyes. "Livie and I are right here with you."

Nudds was brought into the courtroom by two guards. The people who were in the gallery hushed as he took his seat next to his lawyer. Jess and Alex let go of each other and the blonde returned to her seat, next to Steele. Olivia and Jess sat down in the gallery, directly behind Alex. A few minutes later the jury was brought in and a minute after that Judge Donnelly was announced into the courtroom. She brought the proceeding to order and looked at the jury. "Madam Forewoman, has the jury reached a verdict?"

The woman stood up. "We have your Honour." She handed a piece of paper to the bailiff. He walked over and passed it to the Judge. She looked at it and gave it back to the bailiff, who in turn gave it to the forewoman.

Jess took Olivia's hand in hers as she looked at the forewoman.

"Stand up, Mr. Nudds," Judge Donnelly commanded.

Brian Nudds and his attorney stood.

"On the count of murder of Shelley Carver in the first degree how do you find?" the Judge asked.

"We, the jury, find Brian Nudds guilty."

"On the count of murder of Terence Cozier in the first degree how do you find?"

"We, the jury, find Brian Nudds guilty"

"On the count of felony sexual assault of a minor, Jessica O'Malley, in the first degree how do you find?"

"We, the jury, find Brian Nudds guilty."

Jess exhaled and closed her eyes. Olivia did the same. She bent down slightly and spoke softly. "Its okay, Jessie…just breath. I'm right here."

The teen felt sick inside. She gripped Olivia's hand tighter as the room erupted around them. People from the gallery started talking; the judge ordered them to be quiet. The lawyers on either side of the room stood and started making arguments. It was so loud; Jess couldn't make out what anyone was saying. She turned and looked up at Olivia; her face was pale and her eyes weren't focused. The detective's eyes widened. "Jessie," she whispered as she took the young woman in her arms and cradled her.

Judge Donnelly smacked her gavel on the wooden desk. "That is enough from everyone. The next person who talks out of order will be held in contempt and I will clear this courtroom." The room was silent and Nudds sat down; he was in shock. She looked at Nudds' lawyer. "Mr. Thomas, you first."

"I want the jury polled." He couldn't believe what had just happened. This was a first-degree murder case, which meant life without parole was on the table for sentencing when it came to his client. If even one juror faltered while being polled he might have something to run with.

The Judge looked at the jury. "Juror number one, how did you vote?"

"Guilty," the woman said.

"Juror number two, how did you vote?"

"Guilty" the man replied.

They went through all twelve members of the jury and they all said guilty, unequivocally.

Donnelly looked at Nudds' lawyer after the last juror had spoken and asked. "Is there anything else?"

He shook his head. "No, your Honour."

She turned her attention to Alex and Jim. "Your turn, Counselors."

While both were standing, it was Jim who spoke. "We ask that your Honour consider the maximum penalties for these crimes when it comes to sentencing."

The Judge looked through the paperwork in front of her. "I will take that under advisement. The defendant will be sent back to Sing Sing Maximum Correctional Facility until his sentencing on Friday December 28th at nine AM. The jury is dismissed with our thanks you for your services. Court is adjourned." She smacked her gavel, got up and left. The jury stood and left. Nudds was forcibly picked up out of his seat and walked out of the courtroom by two guards. His attorney came over to Alex and Jim and begged them to speak to the Judge for leniency. They refused. Alex turned and saw Jess buried in Olivia's arms. She packed up her things, put on her coat and walked around to them.

Olivia rocked the young woman in her arms. "He's gone now. It's over, Jessie."

The A.D.A. bent down and spoke to Jess. "I'll take you home now, Kid. We can shut out the world for the rest of the day."

When Jess moved, Olivia let her go and the teen sat up. There wasn't a tear in her eyes. She looked at Alex. "Okay." She stood up slowly and started to walk out of the courtroom. Alex and Olivia followed her. "She's in shock."

"I can see that. How do I snap her out of it?" Alex asked.

The detective shook her head. "You can't. It's like a psychosis. Jess is the only one who can free herself from it."

Alex's eyes widened as she looked from the back of her daughter to her lover. "What do I do with her all day?"

The brunette met her girlfriend's eyes. "Hold her, love her and make sure she eats."

"I can do that."

"I know you can. Al, you love her and she loves you. Just hold her; she will get through this and so will you." They caught up with Jess before the doors to the courthouse and walked outside and down the steps with her. At the foot of 60 Center Street Olivia took her daughter's hand. "I have to go back to work, but I will be home as soon as I can."

Jess nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later."

Olivia hugged her. "I love you, Jessie."

The young woman gripped the sides of Olivia's shirt. Olivia stroked her hair. "You're okay. Ally is going to be with you all day."

Alex hailed Olivia a cab and it stopped in front of them on the street. Jess let go and tuned to Alex. She took the blonde's hand, stood beside her and leaned against her. The detective leaned in and kissed her girlfriend. Alex kissed her back. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Olivia said. She turned and got in the cab.

Once the cab was out of sight Alex spoke. "Let's go home and curl up in front of a fire. I'll read to you and we can forget about the rest of the world."

Jess leaned into Alex harder. "Okay," was all she said. They walked to Alex's SUV and drove home.

**154 Sullivan Street**

**Greenwich Village, Manhattan**

**Wednesday December 19, 11:59**

Olivia walked up the steps and into the brownstone for the second time that day. She ran square into her partner as she closed the door.

"Hey, what's the word?"

She smiled slightly. "Guilty, on all counts."

"Liv, that's great news," Elliot said with a smile on his face.

"What's great news?" Munch asked as he and Fin poked their head out from the next room.

"Brian Nudds was found guilty on all counts today," Olivia said, the slight smile still present.

Fin walked out of the room and over to her. "Congrats, Liv." He hugged her.

"Thanks, Fin," she said as they let go.

"I'm really happy for you and Jess," Munch said to Olivia.

"Thanks, John. What's going on here?"

Elliot looked at her. "Come with me I'll fill you in." They walked toward the back of the house; each picking up a pair of latex gloves from a box. "How's Jess?" he asked over his shoulder

"In shock. She didn't cry, El…not a single tear. She didn't say anything. She just wanted to be held." Olivia put on latex gloves as she followed her partner.

Before they entered the bedroom, Elliot turned and looked at Olivia. "You should go home."

She shook her head. "Al is with her. Jess will be fine."

Elliot pulled on latex gloves. "We'll get what we need here and then you are going home."

Olivia grinned and shoved his shoulder with hers. "Okay, Dad."

**310 Central Park West**

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**Wednesday December 19, 11:47**

Jess had texted Richard from Alex's SUV as they drove home. She told him the verdicts and that she would see him tomorrow. She wanted to be alone. There were very few words exchanged between the two women on their way home. Once inside, Alex changed out of her skirt suit and into yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Jess changed into sleep pants and an NYPD baby-doll t-shirt. She grabbed her book off the nightstand and walked out, barefoot, into the living room. Alex has started a fire and was putting some bigger pieces of wood on it. The teenager put her book down on the coffee table, took the cushions off the back of the sectional couch and grabbed the blanket off the chair. The blonde turned and walked over to the couch. She lay down first and Jess curled up beside her.

The taller woman expected the teen to face her and cuddle up to her; instead she put her back to Alex and forced her to spoon her. The teen also brought the blanket with her; she pulled it over both of them. The A.D.A. put her arm around her daughter and held her. Jess took Alex's hand in hers and pulled around her tighter and started to cry.

Alex started to rock as she spoke. "It's okay, Jessie. I'm right here. You're not alone. Let it out."

She didn't even know why she was crying. Jess couldn't stop once she had started. The young woman was so confused. She should be happy. Her attacker had been found guilty, not only of attacking her but also of murdering her friends. _Why didn't she feel happy? Why did she feel so sick inside?_ Jess cried until she had nothing left to give. To Alex's credit she rocked them until the crying had subsided. She whispered in Jess's ear.

"Can I put more wood on the fire?"

The shorter woman nodded but didn't speak. Alex got up carefully and put more logs on the fire. On her way back she looked down at Jess. "Can I get you something to eat?"

Jess shook her head.

Although Alex remembered what Olivia had said about getting Jess to eat, she really didn't think the kid was ready. The A.D.A. picked up the book on the coffee table and snuck back in behind Jess and under the blanket. Alex opened up the book to the dog-eared page and started to read. The younger woman shifted onto her back and closed her eyes. When Jess's breathing became deeper, Alex stopped reading. She closed the book and set it down on the couch, above her head. She nuzzled into her daughter, put her arm over her and fell asleep, mid-day, in front of the fire.

Olivia arrived home shortly before 6PM. It was a miracle. Well, okay, maybe not a miracle so much as the guys from the squad telling her to go home. She walked into the condo quietly, took off her boots, shed her leather coat and placed it on the oversized chair in the living room. The fire had almost burned out, so she placed two small logs on it to try to keep it going. She walked back to the couch and smiled. The two people she loved most in the world were sound asleep. If she hadn't loved Alex already, she would have fallen for her right then and there as she cradled their daughter in her arms.

Jess inhaled deeply and exhaled. She did this twice more and then her eyes fluttered open slowly. Before she even focused on Olivia she knew it was her standing there. The edges of Jess's mouth tugged up in a slight smile. "Livie," she whispered.

"Yes, baby…it's me. Stay asleep," the detective coxed softly as she bent down beside the couch.

Jess's eyes remained open, although they were lazy. "I want to be up. How was work?" she asked in a lazy tone still waking up.

"It was work." A small grin played across Olivia's lips. "El and the guys say hi." She put her hand on her daughter's head and stroked it gently.

"They made you come home early, didn't they?" Jess asked, slightly more alert. Olivia's hands were cold from being outside but felt good on her head.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. Did you and Al eat anything?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"I'm going to make us dinner. What would you like?" she asked quietly, trying not to wake her lover.

"I told you. I'm not hungry. Just make whatever you and Ally want," Jess spoke quietly but was totally awake now.

The taller brunette cocked her head as her eyes widened slightly. "You have to eat something. Whatever I make, you will eat some of it."

Jess didn't say anything but when Olivia leaned over and kissed her cheek the younger woman kissed her back. Alex spoke, startling both women. "Would you like some help?"

Olivia looked over the teenager at her girlfriend. "Sorry to wake you. No, I think I can handle this. You stay here."

As if to second the thought, Jess looked up slightly at Alex. "Will you read more to me?"

Alex smiled. "Of course." She grabbed the book from the couch and started to read. Olivia headed for the kitchen and made dinner. The women ate in the living room by the fire. Jess cleared the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. When she came back to the living room Olivia and Alex were curled up together on the couch. The detective motioned for her to come and sit by her. Jess obliged and curled up next to Olivia. She nuzzled her side and then looked at the fire. "Why aren't there any Christmas decorations around here?"

The A.D.A. and her detective looked at each other. _It was December 19__th__ and they hadn't even gotten a tree yet. Yikes!_ Alex looked down at Jess's head. "You know, you're right. We should decorate tomorrow when I get home from work."

"Do you actually have decorations?" Jess asked in a disbelieving tone as she pulled Olivia's hand around her and held it.

Alex rolled her eyes and looked into the fire. "Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"

"No…I'm just giving you a hard time," Jess said in a slightly apologetic tone. "I'd really like it if we could decorate tomorrow."

"Is there anything you want, Jessie? Anything you and your mom used to do?" Olivia was curious about the young woman sitting with her and her lover. It was on rare occasion that Jess talked about her mother and Olivia wanted to honour any traditions that they may have had. This would be their first Christmas as a family and both she and Alex wanted to be wonderful for their daughter.

Jess played with Olivia's fingers. "We always had a real tree and Santa always brought the same thing for me every year."

The detective chuckled. "What did Santa bring you?"

"Two tickets to a Broadway show." Jess's tone became lower and her words faltered slightly as if she was trying to stifle her emotions. "My mom loved the theater. S…she couldn't afford to go as much as she liked but she al..ways managed to be able to make it once a year. It was my favorite thing we did together."

Olivia turned her head and looked at her girlfriend; a small grin found its way onto her lips. Alex nodded and winked at her. The detective turned, leaned down slightly and kissed Jess on the top of her head. "Would you like to get a real Christmas tree this year?"

The teenager turned and gazed up at her. "Can we?" She looked to Alex making sure she was asking them both.

"Absolutely." Alex said with a smile on her face.

When Jess's gaze fell back on her, Olivia's grin had become wider. She nodded.

"Can we go with the Stablers on Sunday?"

"Where are they going?" Olivia asked.

A grin had appeared on Jess's lips. "To a tree farm; you cut down your own Christmas tree there. They also have a huge hill you tube down and sleigh rides with horses."

It occurred to Alex that not only would Olivia probably not be able to go, but Elliot would have to stay in the city and work the case they had caught today as well. "You really wanna go, Jessie?"

She shrugged. "It could be kindda cool."

"Admit it…you wanna go tubing down the hill," Alex coaxed. She and Kathy would probably end up taking all the kids, which was fine with her. It would be nice for Jess to get out of the city for a day and just be a kid.

The grin morphed into an all-out smile. "Okay, okay…yeah that sounds like it would be a blast!"

"Then we'll go. I'll call Kathy in the morning and we'll figure out a plan." Alex smiled at her.

"Sweet! I can't wait. You and Livie HAVE to go tubing, too."

Olivia's heart dropped. She bit her bottom lip. "Jess, I'm not sure I'll be able to go. El and I just caught this new case today…we'll probably have to work on Sunday."

Seeing the sadness in Olivia's dark eyes and hearing it in her tone made Jess lean into her, resting her head on the detective's chest. "Its okay, Livie. I understand. Ally and I will pick us out a great tree, okay?"

Olivia rubbed her back. "I have all the faith in the world you two will come back with the best Christmas tree, ever."

They sat on the couch for a few hours, moving and changing positions every time someone got up to stoke the fire. No matter how they were positioned on the couch most of the time they were touching each other or at least within arm's length. The older women asked Jess about her mother and the teen was forthcoming with details and stories. Jess asked about each of their mothers and was given many stories about Alex's but only two about Olivia's. There was something about the way the detective spoke about her mother which led Jess to believe here was a story there, but she wasn't about to push Olivia that night. Eventually it was time to turn in for the night. They said goodnight to each other; Jess went to her room and Olivia and Alex went to theirs.

Once in bed, in the darkness of their room, Alex took her lover in her arms and held her tight. "Don't feel bad about not being able to come to the tree farm. Jess understands."

Olivia nuzzled her. "I know she understands…I'm disappointed I can't go, though. It's going to be fun and I really want to go there with you two."

"There will be other fun day trips you will be able to do with us. You have a job to do here in the city, Liv. I know you want to catch whoever murdered your victim." Alex ran her fingers along her girlfriend's arm as she spoke.

"You're right. I do." Olivia drew tiny patterns over Alex's pale flat stomach. "I just wish I could do both."

Alex chuckled softly. "Okay, Superwoman, when you have figured out how to take over the world, let me know."

Olivia started to tickle Alex's stomach. "Don't sass me, Counselor…or you'll find yourself in contempt."

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room**

**Thursday December 20****th****, 10:36 **

Fin and Munch were out canvassing the neighborhood of the latest victim. Elliot was running down their victims agenda for the last week and Olivia was running the usual background on the victim. The phone on her desk rang and she answered it without a thought. "Benson, Special Victims Unit."

"Liv, it's Casey."

"Case, hi," Olivia said as she put down some paperwork and concentrated completely on the phone call. "How are you doing?"

Casey knew the question was sincere. "I'm…fine. I guess?" she stammered. "Uhh…can you meet me for coffee?"

The brunette nodded. "Sure. When and where?"

"20 minutes at our place." The reporter bit her side of her mouth out of nervousness.

"You got it. I'll be there."

The strawberry blonde closed her eyes. "Liv, just you…okay?"

Olivia looked across the desks at her partner, who was listening to her end of the conversation. "Not a problem…just me. See you soon."

The detective hung up, without breaking eye contact with her partner. "I meant what I said; I'm going to meet her alone."

"She's my dart partner…I'm going with you," Elliot said grabbing car keys out of his desk.

"This isn't funny, Elliot," Olivia said standing up.

Elliot stood and put his palms on his desk. "You think I think this is funny?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her. "Casey is my friend. She was attacked a few days ago and I want to see how she is doing."

"And when I see her I will send your regards," Olivia said grabbing her leather jacket off the back of her chair.

"My regards aren't enough for me; I want to see her with my own eyes," he said, starting to get annoyed.

The brunette slipped the jacket on as her eyes widened. "First of all, this isn't about you. It's about Casey. Secondly, I have two eyes and years of training." She put her palms on the desk and leaned forward slightly. "So, Partner…is it that you don't trust my eyes or my instinct?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. The detective opened them. "Neither. I fucked up; Liv…we all did by letting Casey get attacked. I just…" he bit the side of his mouth and then let it go. "I just want to see her. Apologize to her. Help her if I can."

Olivia eased back on her heels and removed her hands from her desk. "I know," she said softly. "I feel terrible about the whole thing. Look, we have to trust Case, and she asked me to come alone. I will let her know that you are concerned about her."

"You're right." Elliot backed off his desk and put the car keys back. Olivia walked around their desks and as she passed him he took her arm gently. "I do trust you, Liv."

She smiled at him as she looked into his blue eyes. "I know you do. I just have to remind you sometimes. I'll let you know how she is."

He chuckled slightly. "Thanks." She nodded to him. Elliot let her go and she walked out of the squad room.

**The Java Bean**

**Thursday December 20****th****, 11:00**

Casey saw the detective as soon as she walked through the door. They made eye contact and she made her way over to the reporter. Olivia sat down. "How are you?"

"You already asked me that," Casey said, hugging the mug of coffee she had ordered.

The brunette sighed. "You're right…I'm sorry." Olivia's eyes welled up with tears. "Casey, I'm really sorry. I should have been there…we all should have been there…I…"

Casey took one hand off the mug and held it up; palm up. "Liv, stop. I know. No one could have foreseen what happened to me. Please," she implored her friend. "don't blame yourself and tell the guys the same."

Olivia pursed her lips and nodded. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to apologize to you...and Alex."

A waitress came over and looked at a stunned Olivia. "What can I get for you, Detective Benson?" She said with a smile.

"Uh…coffee…black. Thanks, Flo; and please call me Olivia," she added with a grin on her face.

"That's it?" Flo shook her head. "I'm bringing you both the special today." She smiled at both women.

They looked back at her, small grins on their faces. "Thanks, Flo," they said in unison.

She nodded, turned and walked back to the small cut-out in the wall where she could talk to the cook.

Olivia looked back at Casey. "What the hell do you have to apologize for?"

The reporter's brow rose slightly as she looked into the detective's chocolate eyes. "I called Jess. I talked to her about everything and I stayed at your place. I know she is your daughter…Alex's, too. I should have called you. I should have at least asked you and Alex if I could talk to Jess and stay over. I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize, Case; there's no need." Olivia sighed and tried to collect her thoughts as Flo came by with her coffee and set it on the table. The waitress looked between the women. "Food will be done soon." They nodded and she left them. The detective continued. "Somehow you and Jess found each other and became friends." She smiled slightly as she said the next sentence. "She brought you back into my life and I am forever grateful to her for that." The smile disappeared. "You two share many things. Now, through no fault of your own, you have both been attacked and sexually assaulted. I wish that was something I could have saved both of you from…but I couldn't." Olivia extended her hand across the table and Casey took it. "I'm not upset you spoke to Jess or that you stayed over. Believe me, neither is Alex. You have both been through something that not many people would understand."

Casey squeezed the detective's hand. "She's just a kid, Liv. I shouldn't have put so much on her."

The brunette gave a half-smile. "You'd be surprised how much she can take. Plus, I don't think she really feels as if you put anything on her. I think she wants to help you. She looks up to you, Case. Jess trusts you. She's had a lot of therapy to get to a point where she can talk about what happened to her. In some ways, I think it's a good thing that you went to her, and that she talked to you."

"Maybe." Casey shrugged. "Jess really helped me." Her eyes fell to the table. "She knew what I needed even before I did. She knew what I needed to hear, how I was going to feel." She fell silent for a moment; lost in her thoughts.

Olivia looked kindly at her. "Hey, Casey."

The reporter looked back at Olivia. "Sorry. Look…she is still your kid and I really should have cleared it with you or Alex. I'm sorry about that. Please let Alex know."

"I really appreciate that you respect who I am in Jess's life; Alex as well. Please don't feel that you ever have to clear talking to her about anything with me or Al. You and Jess are friends and I trust you both." Olivia smiled.

"Thanks, Liv," Casey said matching her smile. The women withdrew their hands.

"So where have you been for the past few days?" the detective asked already knowing the answer.

"At my parent's place; I can't go back to mine."

The brunette nodded. "I can appreciate that. Have you started looking for a new place?"

"I'm trying, but there isn't much out there. I'd like to buy something but I can't find anything decent," Casey said in a slightly withdrawn tone.

"Well, what do you consider 'decent'?"

"Order's up, girls," Flo announced, sidling up to the table and setting two plates down in front of them.

They both looked up and smiled. "Thanks," Olivia said.

"You're the best, Flo," Casey added.

The waitress smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah…that's why they pay me the big bucks around here. Enjoy the grub." She turned and left.

Casey looked at Olivia. "What do I consider decent? Well…something with at least one bedroom, although I would like a den. A place in a good area; in a building with a good super. My building has a great super and I'm really gonna miss that."

The detective had picked up half of the sandwich on the plate and taken a bite. She swallowed and looked at Casey. "I think I may be able to help you, depending on how much you are willing to spend."

"Really?" Casey swallowed her first bite. "Do you know of a place that's for sale?"

Olivia smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do. It has everything you want, including the great Super."

"Shut up!" Casey said smiling. "Where is this magical place?"

"Remember my old place?" Olivia said with her crooked trade-mark smile.

After lunch the detective took the reporter over to her old building. They met with Dillon. Casey looked over the paperwork and took it to the bank while Olivia went back to the precinct. By the end of the day all the paperwork was signed and Casey had taken immediate possession of the one bedroom plus den in Olivia's old building.

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**310 Central Park West **

**Thursday December 20****th****, 20:22**

Jess and Richard had brought up a few boxes that contained Christmas decorations from the storage locker in the basement of the condo building. They had spent an hour together afterwards before Alex made it home. The couple spent some much-needed time in the hot tub and lying together in Jess's bed. Once the Alex arrived home Richard left for the night. Alex and Jess made dinner and the teen put on the Christmas playlist she had made on Olivia's iPod that day. After dinner they opened up the boxes and started taking out the decorations. It didn't take long before the condo had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. Garland hung from every flat surface: the fireplace mantel, the buffet near the dining room table, the top of the small bar and bookshelves in the living room, the rack that held the pots and pans above the island in the kitchen, even above the mirror in the bathroom off Jess's bedroom. Wherever there was an outlet they placed tiny clear lights in the garland so that it lit up at night. From every garland they hung small red and silver Christmas balls.

By the time they were done and had put the empty boxes back in the storage locker they were exhausted. Jess built a fire. Alex shut off every light in the place and plugged in all the lights in the garlands they had just hung. The pair lay down on the couch. Jess was on her stomach but angled herself up on one elbow to be able to see Alex's face. "Did you and your family have any traditions at Christmas?"

The A.D.A. craned her neck up to see if Jess was looking at her. When she saw that she was, Alex rolled from her back onto her side and supported her head in her hand. She smiled at her daughter. "Yes, a few."

"What where they?" Jess asked, grinning like a child.

It always amazed Alex how strong Jess could be one minute and how child-like she could be the next. "When I was a child we would go upstate to a tree farm much like we are doing on the weekend. My family would pick out a tree and my father would cut it down. As we got older, my brother would help him. We would drag it back to the lodge and have hot chocolate by the fire inside the building. When we got it home the kids would decorate it while mom cooked dinner and dad watched us." Alex had looked away, smiling at the memory and shook her head slightly at it. "It was one of the only times I ever remember him just sitting and listening to us; watching us." She looked back at Jess and pursed her lips. "He was a Superior Court Judge; he worked a lot." The smiled returned to her face. "On Christmas Eve we would watch old home movies and my father would read _T'was the Night before Christmas_ to us. The kids would have to go to bed after that. The next morning we would wake up early and open our stockings first. Then the wrapped gifts and then the kids would make breakfast."

Jess grinned. "I like those traditions. Are Uncle Mike and his family, Aunt Julie and her family and Uncle Dennis coming to Christmas dinner?"

"No, I don't think so. We'll see them in the New Year. Liv and I thought we would keep it low-key this year. Is that okay?" Alex asked. Jess had met her bothers, sister and their families once. It had been a good experience all around but overwhelming as well. Her siblings were supportive of her life with Olivia and Jess. They accepted them into the Cabot family and Jess and Olivia accepted the Cabot's into their lives.

"Yeah," Jess nodded. "I understand. I like seeing them, though. It's funny to see how much y'all are alike."

Alex started to laugh. "You've been talking to your Aunt Abbie recently, haven't you?"

The teen's face took on a pink hue from embarrassment. "Maybe. We mostly email each other, though. She cracks me up. I can't wait for her to come back to New York." Jess's tone changed and she looked down at the couch. "Does Livie have a family?"

"Hey," Alex said as she put a finger under her daughter's chin and lifted it up so that their eyes met. "Liv has us; we are her family."

"I know; that's not what I meant…you know what I mean," Jess said begging with her tone and eyes for Alex to answer one of the biggest and scariest questions she had about the detective.

Alex sighed and dropped her hand to the couch. "I do know what you mean. You know that I'm not the person you should be asking about this."

"She never talks about anyone else…I'm s..scared to ask. What happened to them?" Tears formed in Jess's eyes.

The A.D.A. put her hand on Jess's cheek. "Don't be scared to ask Liv anything; but know that she will tell you about her family when she is ready."

Jess blinked and to her credit she managed to hold back the tears. "She doesn't trust me."

"It isn't true and you know it. I would say that she trusts you more than anyone else. The truth is I think she is scared, too. Her family isn't something she talks to many people about. There will be a right time and place, Jessie. Just give her time."

"Okay." Jess nodded.

The sound of a key in the lock startled them out of their discussion. Olivia opened the door and found herself in the middle of a Christmas dream. She looked around and her eyes finally settled on the two pare staring at her from the couch. "So…Christmas arrived," she said with her trademark smile on her lips.

"Damn right!" Jess said. "Get in here."

Olivia shed her leather jacket and boots. She tore into the living room and vaulted over the couch. She landed on a giggling tall blonde who she pinned to the upholstery. "Merry Christmas, my love." Alex tilted her head up and came within less than an inch of her girlfriend's lips. "Merry Christmas." Olivia bowed her head and her lips. They kissed gently.

Jess cleared her throat. They stopped kissing and looked at her. "Oh, please…don't stop on my account."

The taller brunette grinned, leapt off of her girlfriend and dove after her daughter. Jess laughed and wrestled back. The pair wrestled for a few minutes before Olivia gave up. The smaller woman had her pinned on her stomach, with a knee in her back. "I give…I GIVE!" she cried laughing.

The teen was laughing so hard she could barely get off the woman under her. "Okay, OKAY," she said finally, getting up and landing on the couch behind her. Olivia sat up, looked at her and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Kid."

"Merry Christmas, Livie," she said and leapt into the detective's arms. Jess fell against her chest as Olivia sat back and put her arms around her daughter. She met Alex's eyes and they grinned at each other.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Ten: Winter Wonderland

**Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley**

**310 Central Park West **

**Friday December 21****th****, 06:58**

Jess walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. She looked at the taller brunette. "What's for breakfast?"

"Captain Crunch," she answered, nodding at the box of cereal sitting on the island.

"Awwww…yes, my favorite!" Jess said as she grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard, a spoon out of a drawer and walked towards the island.

Olivia could tell by the tone she was serious. The detective watched as she set the bowl down, poured cereal and then milk into it. The younger woman had finished three spoonfuls and was on the fourth when she spoke. "What's the new case you're working on?"

"None of your business," Olivia said grinning. She had never seen Jess eat just cereal for breakfast but that might explain why it disappeared so fast.

The teen could tell by Olivia's tone she wasn't trying to be mean; she just didn't want to talk about the new case. She changed the subject. "I got a text from Cass late last night. She wants to meet me for lunch today."

"Good, you should meet her," Olivia said adding more cereal and milk to her bowl.

Jess finally looked up at the detective. "How is she?"

"What would make you think I would know?" Olivia said shoveling a spoonful of Captain Crunch into her mouth.

The kid rolled her eyes. "I was born at night, but not last night. I know you have talked to her; hell, I'll bet you've met up with her at this point."

"Wow…nothin' gets by you, huh?" Olivia said as she pointed her spoon at Jess.

"No, not much," she answered sarcastically. Jess's tone changed. "So, really…how is she?"

Olivia pursed her lips. "She survived; she's a survivor. Casey isn't invincible, though. She needs to talk to someone, and I think she will when she's ready."

The tiny brunette swallowed. "She should start today."

"Why would you say that?" Olivia asked.

Jess shrugged. "You made me go and talk to Dr. Hendrix right away; Casey should do the same."

"Everyone is different, Jess. What worked for you might not work for her. You have to give Case time and space to deal with what happened to her."

"How did you know what was right for me?"

Olivia sucked in her bottom lip for a second. "Intuition. I felt that you needed to talk to someone and it couldn't be me."

"Why not you?" Jess furrowed her brow.

"A couple of reasons. First, I wanted you to talk to a doctor. Second, I wanted you to confide in someone who you would be able to continue to confide in after your protective detail was over. I had no idea seven months ago we'd be standing here eating Captain Crunch in Alex's kitchen together. Third, Dr. Hendrix is a friend of mine, I trust her and she is the best child therapist in my opinion. Do you like her?"

Jess nodded. "Very much. Do you know what Cass wants?"

"Nope, you'll have to have lunch with her and find out. Where are you going?"

"That's the weirdest part." Jess furrowed her brow again. "It's back in our old

neighborhood. I'm only working four hours today with Morales. I told Cass I'd meet her for a late lunch at 1:30PM."

Olivia's trademark crooked grin highjacked her lips. Jess narrowed her eyes at her and grinned. "Shut up! You know what she wants to tell me!"

"I have no idea." The older brunette chuckled.

The teen's eyes widened and she pointed with her spoon. "You lie!"

"Me…lie?" Olivia said in false shock.

Alex watched her detective and their daughter's exchange from the doorway. _God she loved them both._ She smiled and finally weighed in. "Yes…you. You are lying to that child." She walked over to Olivia. "That beautiful smile says it all, Detective." They kissed.

After Jess was out of the kitchen and in the shower Alex held Olivia, from behind, in her arms as they stood in the kitchen. "What does Casey want?"

Olivia grinned. "To show Jess her new place."

"She's moving already?" Alex asked as her brow shot up in surprise.

"Yes, but I kind of had a hand in that," Olivia said matter-of-factly.

The A.D.A. smiled. "Oh, really. How is that?"

"I had been looking at places to buy for me and Jess. I don't have a ton of money and even in this economy Manhattan is expensive. My last resort was to go to my old building and talk to D about getting an apartment there. Turns out the place has gone co-op. There was a two bedroom available and I had him draw up the paperwork. So much happened with the Allen case, and Nudds's trail and us that I almost forgot about the place. Casey called me. She was looking for a new place and it dawned on me that I sort of had one. We met for lunch and I took her over to meet D after that." Olivia tried to remain calm as she spoke. She felt Alex hold her breath a few times, which made it hard.

Alex dropped her head beside Olivia's left ear and whispered. "You really were looking for places…"

It had come out as a statement more than a question but Olivia answered it anyway. "Yes," she said sadly.

The tall blonde tightened her arms slightly around her girlfriend. "I'm so sorry. Please don't ever leave me. I swear to you I will never hurt you again."

Olivia let her head fall towards Alex's. Once they met she closed her eyes. "I want to believe that but it's going to take time for me to get there. I love you, Alex, but I don't trust you. You broke my heart and that's something that only time and action is going to heal."

"I know. I will spend forever regaining your trust and mending your heart."

"**Pizzaiolo" **

**Friday December 21****st****, 13:35**

Jess walked into the pizza parlor and up to the counter. She sat on the stool directly to the right of Casey. "Sup, Cass?"

The reporter looked at Jess and smiled. "Not much, Shorty. Sup with you?"

"Oh you know the usual. My quasi mothers are back together, it looks like Christmas vomited all over the condo and I still haven't gotten anyone's Christmas gift yet." She tilted her head down but looked up at Casey. "Wanna help me shop?"

"Totally!" Casey said through her laughter. "I wanna show you something really quick and then we will go shopping."

"Sweet!" Jess said with a huge grin on her face. "First can we grab a slice though?"

Casey's laughter had almost subsided. "Totally!"

"Great!" Jess turned and nodded to a young guy behind the counter. He nodded back and came right over.

"Jess, how the hell are ya?" he said with a grin on his face.

"Not bad, Tommy. You?"

"Ahhhh…how much time you got?"

They both laughed and then Jess told him the kind of slice she wanted. He turned to Casey and asked her what she wanted. She told him and he was off.

Casey looked at Jess once Tommy was gone. "You know him."

"Uh, yeah. Livie and I used to live around the corner. We would phone orders in here all the time and come pick 'em up. It's also open really late. Sometimes when she worked late she would meet me in the lobby of our building. We would come here for a late slice. It's kindda our old place."

"It's funny that you say that," Casey said grinning.

"Oh yeah, why?"

"I found a new place to live. I'm moving in tomorrow."

"No way! Cass, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you. Where is it? Can I see it?"

Casey nodded. "That's where we are going after lunch."

The kid's eyes got bigger, as did her grin. "It's around here?"

The strawberry blonde couldn't help the huge smile she was sporting. "You could say that. It's your old building."

"Shut up!" Jess smiled from ear to ear. "That building is great. Oh my God, the Super, D is amazing! Cass, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Kid."

They ate their pizza and talked about life. The women went by Casey's new condo and checked it out. Afterwards it was on to an afternoon and evening of shopping. They were exhausted and hated the general public by the time they parted ways for the night. Jess managed to find the energy to wrap all of the gifts she had bought when she got home.

**Sunday December 23****rd****, 12:30**

Richard and Jess had driven up with Alex in her SUV. Kathy and the rest of the Stabler kids had ridden up in the family van, including Maureen and her boyfriend Ben. The kids had picked out two Christmas trees from the small forest and between Richard and Ben both had been cut down and strung up on the roof of each vehicle. Everyone ate lunch in the chalet and the older kids went tubing after they were done.

Kathy and Alex watched from the bottom of the hill, while Eli played in the snow at their feet. "Jess told me you decorated for Christmas this week."

The A.D.A. grinned as she looked at Kathy. "Sure did. The funny part is that we made all these plans, had every detail looked after and completely forgot about the decoration."

"Better late then never," Kathy said grinning. "It's really hard to remember everything. You and Olivia have been so busy; sometimes things slip through the cracks."

Alex watched her daughter fly to the bottom of the hill on a large inner tube, laughing hysterically the entire way down. Once at the bottom she was met almost instantly by Lizzie, Richard and Katherine. They paid no attention to the adults standing ten feet away. They were in their own world and it consisted of who could get to the lift that took them back up the hill faster. The A.D.A. smiled at the sight as she spoke. "I'm making it my business to make sure nothing slips though the cracks anymore." She turned and looked at her partner in crime that day. "Kath, I want my family to stay together. Jess has been through so much over the last seven months…hell, the last three weeks. Between trying to keep her case on track and Liv and I having problems, I haven't been there nearly enough for Jess."

Kathy was surprised that Alex mentioned the problems she and Olivia had been having. She realized that while Olivia was a part of the Stabler family, so was Alex. The taller blonde confided in her and they felt a sort of kinship given that their lovers were partners. "Look, Al, you can't be everything to Jess, or Olivia. There are going to be times you won't be able to be there for either one of them."

"I failed Jess; I failed my daughter these last few weeks. I'm not prepared to have that happen again."

The conviction in Alex's voice made Kathy realize why she was such a good attorney. "Al, you act as if you can control that; control life. You can't. It's not a court of law where you can manipulate or mould a case. This is life and it's messy. You have to be prepared for the fact that sometimes you will fail. Being there for your child isn't a switch that is on all the time, despite how badly you want it to be or how hard you work at it. All you can do is try your hardest and hope it's enough."

Alex took what Kathy said to heart. She had said it with sincerity and Alex knew she was speaking from experience. "I know you're right," She conceded. "I just hate that it's true."

"I know you do. Hell, I hate that it's true. I look at all the mistakes El and I made, all the problems we've missed when it came to our kids." All of the kids made it down to the bottom of the hill again. They screamed and laughed the whole way down. Once at the bottom they again didn't notice the two adults and little boy ten feet away. Instead, there was a round of playfully arguing about who had made it to the bottom first and then they were off to the lift again. Both women had watched the exchange and then turned to each other. Kathy continued, grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "They seemed to have pulled through and survived despite us and our shortcomings as parents."

The taller blonde snickered lightheartedly and grinned. "By looking at Jess today, you would never know what kind of a month she has had." The grin disappeared. "Kathy, you and Elliot are wonderful parents. Don't ever sell yourselves short." The grin reappeared. "On a completely unrelated note, did the passes come?"

Kathy smiled from ear to ear. "Yes, all the passes have arrived. I grabbed the mail the other day before Lizzie did."

"Excellent. I can't wait to see their faces." Alex said, her eyes squinting ever so slightly because of the big smile on hers.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room **

**Sunday December 23****rd****, 11:15**

There was very little movement in their new case. The M.E.'s report was back and Warner's initial assessment had been correct. The victim had died of asphyxiation. Upon their search of the house CSU had found a cord that might possibly have been the murder weapon. It was sitting at the lab being tested for DNA. Once One P.P. was done with it they would send it to the M.E.'s office for further examination to see if the cord matched the exact ligature marks on the victim's neck. LUDS hadn't come back yet on the victim's phone.

Elliot and Olivia were the only two people in the bullpen that day. He looked over their desks at her. "It's two days before Christmas and we're sitting at work."

The comment took Olivia off guard. He almost never complained about working a case. She looked up at him and said with very little sympathy, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. We caught the next case and we're working it."

He furrowed his brow at her. "We're not working it; we're spinning our wheels here. We think we have I.D.'d our victim, but the family can't come to make the positive I.D. until tomorrow. The possible murder weapon is at the lab and we aren't interviewing anyone until tomorrow morning. So…why are we here?"

Olivia sat back in her chair and thought for a moment. "You know…" she said slowly. "you're right."

"Well, I'll be damned," Elliot said easing back in his chair. "Olivia Benson conceded to me."

"I'm not conceding. I'm just agreeing with you," she said as she narrowed her eyes and grinned at him.

"Oh…no." He smiled like the Cheshire cat. "You said I was right. Admit it, you were giving me a hard time about work and now you want to bag off just as badly as I do."

"I will admit no such thing. However, our women and kids are at a Chalet cutting down Christmas trees and sliding down a massive hill on inflatable tubes…"

Elliot's blue eyes danced as if he was waiting for his second grade teacher to call recess. He desperately wanted Olivia to suggest they go up north and join their families. It had to be her suggestion though, she would never agree if he said they should go. The grin became a full-on smile as Olivia watched her partner's eyes. _He was like a kid on Christmas morning. How could she deny him what she knew he wanted? Hell, she wanted it just as badly._ "We're getting nothing done here today," she rationalized. "Maybe we could go up there. Salvage what's left of the day?"

Olivia watched Elliot leap out of his chair, grab keys out of his desk and throw his coat on before she had finished her sentence. He looked down at her. "You coming?"

She shook her head as she stood and grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair; her trademark crooked smiled played across her lips. "Right behind you, Partner."

**Sunday December 23****rd****, 14:31**

A little over 30 minutes earlier Jess had convinced Alex to go down the hill in a double tube with her. Richard and Maureen had convinced Kathy do to the same as long as one of them stayed at the bottom with their little brother. Jess and Alex, Richard and Kathy sat in double tubes at the top of the hill for the third time.

"One," Jess said.

"Two!" Richard shouted.

"Threeeeee!" Kathy and Alex yelled in unison as both tubes were pushed down the hill at the same time.

Richard and Kathy arrived at the bottom one split second before Jess and Alex, the four of them laughing and squealing the whole way down. Once they were out of the tubes Richard hugged his mom. "We won! We won!" he shouted. Once they let go of each other he turned to Jess and Alex. "Re-match?"

"Absolutely!" Jess exclaimed grabbing Alex's hand in hers.

"I see nothing has stopped a little friendly competition," Elliot said with his young son in his arms. The four people looked over in shock.

"Dad?" Richard said in disbelief.

"Livie!" Jess said with a huge smile on her face. She let go of Alex's hand and ran to the detective. Olivia braced herself but it wasn't enough. The teen ran into and hugged her so hard they fell backward together into a pile of fresh snow. Jess straddled Olivia around her stomach. "You made it."

"I made it, Kid. This time…I made it." A smiled played across her lips.

"Thank you." It wasn't a lot but it was all Jess could get out. She knew if the detective was here it meant the she wasn't working on a case. Olivia had chosen her over a victim. It was bittersweet to the teen, but right then and there she'd take it. "After the re-match will you go down the hill with me?"

"Actually," Kathy said. "I have to bow out of the re-match. Eli needs to be changed and get warm for a few minutes," she said as she took him from Elliot.

Alex smiled at Kathy and they winked at each other. Their lovers had made it all the way up to them; it was their time with the kids. "I'll go with Kathy. Liv why don't you and El take this one?"

Olivia lifted her head as best she could and looked at her partner. "I'm in if you're in."

"Oh, you're on!" Elliot laughed as he kissed his wife, handed her their youngest and walked towards his son.

Jess got off Olivia and walked to Alex. "You sure?"

The A.D.A. nodded and smiled. "Couldn't be more sure. Make sure you and Liv kick their ass."

"Oh there is no doubt about that." Jess said sure of herself. She looked deeper into Alex's eyes and took her hand again. "I love you, Ally."

Alex leaned down and kissed Jess on the forehead. "I know you do. Don't feel bad about this. Liv came all this way to spend time with you. Cherish that. I love you, Kid."

The teen hugged Alex tightly. Maybe Olivia was adopting her. Maybe Olivia played the heavy in her life. Maybe she would have moved out with Olivia if that's what the detective had decided they were doing, but there was no denying this: she loved Alex just as much as Olivia. Alex was as much Jess's parent as the brunette was. They let go of each other and smiled. Elliot and Richard were at the lift. "You comin'?" the younger man called.

Olivia had gotten up and was standing behind Jess. "You bet your ass we're comin'!"

Olivia called out. The tiny brunette turned and smiled at Olivia. "Ready to kick some Stabler ass?"

Her trademark crooked grin hijacked her lips. "Been waiting all day."

Jess smiled from ear to ear. "Let's roll!"

The pair hustled over to the lift and followed the guys up the hill. Kathy and Alex walked over to the chalet and chatted for the next 45 minutes. Jess and Olivia, Richard and Elliot went down the hill several times. When the women came back out and stood at the bottom of the hill they were greeted by Maureen, Ben, Katherine and Lizzie. Kathy looked at them. "Where are the rest?"

Katherine nodded to the top of the hill. "Wait and see."

"Stabler, you're a dead man!" Olivia yelled as she came over the crest of the hill.

"Can you taste that, Liv? That's my snow you're eating as I blow by you!"

Alex set Eli down so he could play with his siblings. She looked up at her girlfriend and Elliot flying down the hill. "You have got to be kidding me."

Lizzie looked at her and giggled. "We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried."

"They're both over 40. They are gonna hurt themselves," Kathy said shaking her head and smiling.

Elliot made it to the bottom first. Olivia's tube bummed his and as they sat there playfully arguing, Jess and Richard bumped into them with their own tubes. They all got up and went over the others. Kathy looked at Elliot. "You're lucky you didn't kill yourself going down that hill."

Alex looked at Olivia. "She has a point. Plus, what kind of an example are you setting for the kids?" She had said it all in a playful tone.

The detective smiled and kissed her. They broke apart ever so slightly and Olivia whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Everyone was surprised by the public display of affection. The recent rocky nature of their relationship hadn't been a secret. Jess smiled and felt whole. Richard was happy that his girlfriend's quasi mothers were getting along again. Elliot looked at everyone. "Are we getting dinner in the Lodge?"

The group looked around at each other and then back at him. The adults had silently agreed to dine at the Lodge for dinner. Olivia shrugged. "Sure, why not?" They started to walk toward the large building. Elliot picked up his youngest son and Jess walked beside them. The rest followed.

After dinner everyone said goodbye in the parking lot and loaded into their respective vehicles. Alex drove her BMW, Olivia sat in the passenger seat and Jess was in the backseat. "Have either of you talked with Cass today?"

Alex and Olivia exchanged looks. The blonde looked back at the road and the brunette turned slightly to make eye contact with Jess. "No," they answered in unison. "I know you are concerned about her but you can't keep tabs on her," Olivia said as she wondered about Casey.

"I know, I know," The smaller brunette answered rather impatiently. "I wasn't gonna bring this up if you had spoken with her. It's the night before the night before Christmas. We have a tree on the roof of the truck and a warm fireplace at home. You think Cass would want to come over and hang out for a bit?"

The women in the front seat looked at each other again. This time Alex took one of Olivia's hands in hers, brought it to her lips and kissed it. The detective smiled and looked back at her daughter. "Only one way to find out."

A small grin appeared on the teen's lips. "So it's okay to invite her?"

"Absolutely. We'll be home in 45 minutes." Alex smiled at Jess in the review mirror.

She smiled back and took her cell out of her pocket. Jess texted Casey, asking if she wanted to come over. About five minutes later the strawberry blonde responded with a text. "Sure, let me know when you are home."

Jess smiled as she read the text. "Cass is in!"

**Residence of A.D.A Cabot, Detective Benson and Jess O'Malley**

**310 Central Park West**

**Sunday December 23****rd****, 20:21**

With tremendous effort the tree was now upright, in a stand, in the living room. The three women stood back and admired their work. "Looks good," Jess said as she looked from the tree to the taller women beside her. Olivia's hair looked as if it had been through a cyclone, Alex's sweater was ripped across the left arm and her hands were sticky with sap. The women looked sideways at her. Olivia's jaw dropped and Alex's eyes narrowed. "You _had_ to have a real tree, huh?"

The right corner of Jess's mouth started to turn upwards as she looked at Alex and shrugged. "Yeah…come on. It looks amazing."

"Uhhh, speaking of looks; how is it that Al and I look like we have been to hell and back but you look as if you walked out of a Billabong ad?"

Jess grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Luck."

Both women rolled their eyes at her. The grin left Jess's face. "I know as punishment I'm not allowed to drive until the spring but I was hoping that could be lifted for tonight?"

Olivia didn't hesitate. "Absolutely not."

"_Ahhhhh_…you haven't even heard _why_ I wanna drive," Jess said, slightly angered.

"I don't care _why_. You _stole _Al's car and took off in a snow storm." Olivia crossed her arms.

"Because _you_ lied to me for months about who my father was! If anyone is to blame for why I took off it's _you_!" Jess lashed out.

The detective's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Alex stepped in. "Both of you stop!" She sighed and looked at Jess. "Why do you want to drive tonight?"

Jess swallowed hard and turned her gaze to Alex. "I want to pick up Cass. I don't want her to take a cab."

Olivia closed her eyes momentarily. _Why hadn't she thought of that?_

Alex took one of Jess's hands in hers. "That's a good idea. I'll go get Casey. You and Liv stay here."

"Thank you," the teen said quietly.

The A.D.A. squeezed Jess's hand. "I'll call her now and let her know I'm on my way." They let go of each other's hands. Alex stepped back and eyed both women. "While I'm gone I think the two of you should talk." She left the room, walked down the hall into her bedroom. Alex changed her shirt and washed her hands, twice. She called Casey and told her she was coming to pick her up. As she put on her coat she gazed into the living room. Her girlfriend and their daughter were sitting on the couch, facing each other, talking.

Olivia looked at Jess. "I'm sorry."

Tears formed in the tiny brunette's eyes. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean it."

The detective hugged her daughter. "I know you didn't. You have a point though. I did lie to you about Brian Nudds."

Jess choked back tears. "Can we sit and talk about this?"

Letting go of Jess she pursed her lips. "Yes, of course."

They sat facing each other on the couch. Neither heard Alex leave. Jess began. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I mean, why didn't _you_ tell me?"

"Honestly, we all thought it was for the best. No one thought you would ever find out." Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and bit her bottom lip. She opened them again and looked at Jess. "I thought you had been through enough. Telling you that Nudds was your father would have only caused you more pain. I didn't want that. No one did."

"What about my right to know who my attacker really was? What about my right to know whom my father was? He's…part of me. You didn't think I had a right to know him?" Jess was glad to be sitting down. She wasn't sure how much longer her knees would have held her up.

Betrayal was all the detective saw in the hazel eyes staring back at her. Although Olivia knew it wasn't totally directed at her, it was hard to feel that it wasn't. "I know. You had rights back then and we, I, ignored them. That was wrong. You may never understand the reasoning behind the decision but this is a bell that can't be un-rung. It happened and I'm sorry."

The guilt in Olivia's deep brown eyes told Jess she was sincerely sorry for her actions. She loved the detective more than anything. Jess had her fair share of secrets when it came to the safety of Olivia. Casey had kept her secret when it came to the Markus Pharaoh case. Ken and Richard, too, for that matter. Jess had told herself at the time that it had all been done in the name of Justice. All the lies, secrets and danger had been to take a pedophile off the streets and save innocent children. Although it was true, it wasn't the only motivation. Deep down, Jess knew she had risked it all to keep Olivia. She realized that she did understand the reasoning behind Olivia's decision seven months earlier. _How could she not?_ Tears ran down Jess's face. "I get it. I…understand why you did what you did." The teen swallowed hard. "Livie, I just need time. I need more time to deal with all this. I feel like my life is happening so fast and I can't keep up with it and I…I…"

As Jess stammered Olivia leaned in and hugged her. Jess moved closer. The taller woman tightened her grip slightly. "I know, sweetheart. The trial is wrapped up. The sentencing hearing is the only thing left and you don't have to go. Brian Nudds will be out of your life. This has been a long month for you. It's over now. You have the rest of your life to start to deal with it. I promise you, it will get better. Life will get better now."

"What if the Judge doesn't grant my adoption?" The sentence was barely audible.

Olivia had struggled with this thought every day. She never wanted anyone to able to take Jess away from her and that piece of paper was the only thing that legally stopped it from happening. "She will, Jessie," the detective said with false bravado. "I know it. I told you life would get better now. You'll see."

After a few more minutes Jess's tears subsided. Olivia kissed the top of her head and looked at the tree. "You're right, you know. The tree is amazing. You guys picked a good one."

Jess chuckled and looked at Olivia. "Thanks…for everything."

The detective took Jess's face in her hands and pulled her gently towards her. She kissed the young woman on the forehead and then let her go. They locked eyes again. "It's been my pleasure." Tears formed in Olivia's eyes. As she blinked they ran down her cheeks. "Thank you for being who you are. I…uh…I don't think I could ever explain what you've done to me. How you've changed me and my life for the better."

Although Jess blushed she smiled and hugged Olivia. When the embrace ended Jess cocked a sly grin.

Olivia looked at her and grinned. "What?"

"The tree looks amazing. You're hair…well…did not fare so well."

"What are you talking abo…" Olivia stood and looked in the mirror over the fireplace. "Oh my God…"

Jess broke out laughing.

"This isn't funny!" Olivia looked down at her daughter and cracked a smile. "Okay…it's kindda funny."

"Go fix it before Cass and Ally get here," Jess said through her laughter.

Olivia headed for her bathroom. Jess grabbed her iPhone, threw it in the dock and thumbed around to the Christmas playlist she had created.

While it had been Jess's idea to pickup Casey it had given Alex the opportunity to talk to the reporter alone, something she had wanted to do for a few days now. She called Casey when she was parked out front of her building. The strawberry blonde appeared and was sitting in the passenger seat in no time. "Thanks so much for picking me up. I could have taken a cab, though."

Alex smiled slightly. "It's really not a problem. It was Jess's idea but Liv and I agreed we wanted to pick you up." The A.D.A. turned more in her seat in order to see Casey better. "I was wondering if I could ask you something?"

Casey cocked her head to the right. "Sure."

"It's personal. So if you don't want to talk about this I understand."

The reporter was hesitant. Although she and Alex were trying to get along, this sounded somehow off to her. She cleared her throat. "Okay, well ask and we'll see."

Alex took a deep breath and spoke as she exhaled. "I want to put Olivia's name on the deed to the condo. I know she will hate it if I just put it on so I want to ask her to buy into it. My family has owned it for years, so there is no mortgage but I want us to own it together."

"Okay, so ask her. I'm sure if you explain you want to buy it with her she'll go for it," Casey said somewhat confused about how this was personal to her.

"Here's the problem. The condo is worth a fair amount of money and I can buy out my sister and brothers but I don't think Liv is in the same financial situation. I need to know how much she can afford without asking her. Whatever the amount is that she can afford I will have the papers drawn up so that she is responsible for that portion but owns 50 per cent of the property."

Casey started to grin. The gesture was sincere and actually heartwarming. Alex wanted to give something to Olivia she knew she wanted, and it would be on the detective's terms. "So you want me to ask her how much she could afford?"

This time is was Alex who cleared her throat. "That's where the personal question comes in. Liv told me that she had looked at the place you just bought. She explained to me that she would have bought that place and moved there if we weren't trying to work things out. Sooo…um…whatever you paid is probably what she could afford. If you could ballpark for me what you bought your place for, I could use that number to estimate what to put on the paperwork for the condo."

The request came out of left field. It was personal but not at all what she thought Alex was going to ask. In all honesty, she had had no idea what she was going to ask. Being alone and having the A.D.A. want something from her gave Casey an opportunity. She had wondered what she would say to Alex about what she had done to Olivia if ever given the chance. And now…here it was. "Liv and I have known each other for a long time. I care about her very much. I have seen you two go through your ups and downs but this last time you broke her heart. How could you have done that?"

Alex had wondered when Casey would bring this up. Elliot had had a much more 'in-your-face' approach to it but she knew the reporter would want answers about this as well. The blonde's head sunk slightly as she sighed. "The truth is I didn't mean to. What happened between Jim and me was a mistake that I will never forgive myself for. I could tell you about how scared I was to try Brian Nudds. How I fucked up Jess's prep. How badly I wanted to get a conviction for Jess and how scared I was that I wouldn't get it. In the end, Casey, I made a mistake. I lost control of myself and I will regret it for the rest of my life. Olivia is my life. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone. There is no one else I want to be with. I promised her that I would spend the rest of my life proving that to her…and I will."

It hadn't been the conviction in Alex's voice that surprised Casey, it was the tears that had started when she had spoke Olivia's name for the first time. The seasoned A.D.A. wouldn't have broken down if the speech had been rehearsed. Alex was a great storyteller; her emotion and sincerity were part of what made her such a renowned A.D.A. This was not a tale told for Casey's benefit. It was the truth. She genuinely smiled at Alex. "I'll tell you what I paid for my new place." She cocked her head to the right and pointed at her. "Don't ever tell Liv I did this."

Alex wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled at Casey. "Thanks so much. And my lips are sealed."

By the time Casey and Alex made it back to the condo a fire had been made in the fireplace and the music was going full-tilt. Jess stuck pretty close to Casey. She never brought anything up about the attack or how she thought the strawberry blonde should talk to someone. Instead, Jess enjoyed the fact that she was in the company of a good friend. After the tree was trimmed, a bottle of wine was gone and the fire was low, it was time for Casey to go home. Olivia drove her home and walked her into her new place.

Upon the detective's return she found her girls in their pj's lounging on the couch. Olivia shed her jacket and boots and put a couple of small logs on the fire. She took up residence on the couch, on top of Alex. It wasn't so much sexual as it was comforting. Jess smiled at the sight. She didn't care what physical items she got for Christmas. Having Olivia and Alex back together was the best gift she could ever receive. "Can Tony come for dinner tomorrow? I know it's supposed to be just the three of us but I haven't had a Christmas Eve without him."

Olivia lifted her head off of Alex's chest. "Of course, he can come."

The blonde looked over at her daughter. "Tony is welcome here anytime. He's a big part of your life. If you want him here, then we want him here."

"Thanks. I'm going to the diner tomorrow to cook with him. He'll close up early and we'll be here before 6PM. Are you two gonna be able to handle making dinner without me?" Jess grinned.

"Somehow we'll muddle through it," Olivia said sarcastically.

Alex giggled at the exchange. "Jess, go and have fun at the diner tomorrow. Whenever you and Tony get here we'll eat."

Jess crawled across the couch and kissed both women on their foreheads. "I'm going to bed. Night."

"Night, Kid."

"Goodnight, Jessie."

After Jess closed her door there was almost complete silence in the home. The fire burned low again and the only light was emanating from it and the lights on the Christmas tree. The pair lay there and relaxed for the first time that day. Olivia lifted her head and looked up at Alex. "She was happy today."

The A.D.A. smiled sweetly. "Yes, she was." The smile faded. "How did it go while I was getting Casey?"

Olivia looked away for a moment. "She's scared." She looked back at Alex. "She feels like everything is happening too fast. She's having trouble processing it all. The Kid needs a break."

Alex sighed. "The next couple of days will be good ones for her. She'll get a little break before the sentencing hearing."

"I'm worried that the next couple of days are going to be very high and very low for her. It'll be her first Christmas with us, but her first without Tony and Connie. It'll be the first that isn't at the apartment she and her mom shared. I'm just scared that she won't see it coming. What if she runs out? What if she cries? What if she gets angry because I'm trying to be like her mother but I'm not Katharine."

Tears ran down her detective's face as Alex listened to her go on. "Shhhh…" she whispered and ran her hands up and down Olivia's back as they lay on the couch. "This Christmas is going to good. There are going to be a lot of firsts for all of us. Jess would never run out; she would never run away. There might be times where she needs to be alone or will ask us to help her. If that means she needs to see Tony or something we haven't thought of, then so be it. We will do whatever she needs." Alex stopped rubbing her girlfriend's back and cupped her chin with her right hand. "You are not taking Katharine's place. You know that and so does Jess. You are her foster mother," Alex grinned sweetly. "Soon to be adopted mother. It's not the same thing, but it's close. There was always something between you and Jess. A connection you both felt and drew from. Just relax and everything will work itself out."

Olivia smiled through her tears. "I love you."

"I love you, too." The detective laid her head back down on her girlfriend's chest. Alex stroked her hair. "How are we?" she asked in an uneasy tone.

The brunette nuzzled her gently and smiled. "We're great."

She could tell by Olivia's tone she was smiling. It made Alex smile and rub the detective's head slightly before gently playing with her hair. Before long the A.D.A. felt Olivia get heavier. She knew the older woman had relaxed enough that she had fallen asleep. Only then did Alex close her eyes and find sleep, too.

When Olivia woke she was cold. The fire was out and they had no blankets on them. She carefully got up and rolled onto her knees, between Alex's legs. The A.D.A. looked gorgeous, even in the pale moonlight coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows. Her first thought was to kiss her, her second was to pull a blanket onto her and let her continue her slumber, and her third was to suck on one of her now pronounced nipples.

Olivia narrowed her eyes slightly and leaned over Alex's body. She put her mouth around the blonde's right nipple and licked at it. She sucked at it though the white cotton baby-doll sleep shirt. This appeared to have no effect so she stopped and lifted her head slightly. _What was I thinking; it's gotta be 3AM._ No sooner had she thought it than two hands cupped the back of her head. "Don't stop now, baby."

Olivia let out a giggle but went back to the right nipple and continued the attention she had been giving it. She also slid her right hand down Alex's flat stomach and under her sleep pants. _No panties…niiice._ She pinched her girlfriend's clit; that resulted in a small hiss. Olivia smiled. She parted Alex's lips and rubbed her clit gently.

"Ummmmmm" was the reaction in a very low tone.

The detective moved her right knee squarely between Alex's legs and pushed it into her center ever-so-slightly.

"Uhhhh…" Alex started to grind harder against Olivia's fingers and knee.

"Bedroom…now…" As badly as the blonde wanted to orgasm right then and there, she didn't want to. She wanted to see Olivia, feel her. When she opened her eyes those dark brown orbs were bigger than she ever remembered. Along with her stunning eyes a devilish grin played across her detective's full lips. "Anything you want…"

The pair got up and retreated to their bedroom. They made love and fell asleep in each other's arms.

**Monday December 24, 05:30**

Jess was up and showered. She had to make it to the diner by 6AM for the breakfast rush. The teen piled all the Christmas gifts she had been hoarding in her bedroom closet on top of each other and carried them out to the living room. After placing them carefully under the Christmas tree Jess went back into her room. She grabbed her cell off the desk and a picture caught her eye. The brunette pocketed the iPhone but picked up the picture in her other hand and studied it. _I miss you_. Jess thought about her mother every day; she missed her every day. _It wasn't fair._ She walked out of her room with the picture in her hand. The teen walked over to the Christmas tree. It was still dark outside and the only light in the room was the white lights on the tree. She looked from the tree to the picture. "I miss you," she whispered. "I wish you were here. I wish I could just talk to you for a minute." The young woman ran her hand over the picture. "I know everything; I mean I think I know everything." Tears formed in her eyes. "This would be a lot easier if you were here." Jess blinked and the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I love you, Mom. Merry Christmas." She placed the frame on the mantel and walked to the front hall. The brunette took her jacket out of the hall closet, put it on, slipped on her boots, grabbed her keys and left the condo for the diner.

**07:30**

Alex sat at the kitchen table and watched her girlfriend eat cereal over the island. "You're really going to the M.E.'s office today?"

"Have to," Olivia said with a mouth full of Captain Crunch. She swallowed. "It's the soonest the family could come and ID the body."

The A.D.A. held her mug of coffee tighter. "I can't imagine having to do that on Christmas Eve."

Olivia spoke over her shoulder as she placed the bowl and spoon in the sink. "I know. El told them they could wait until after the holidays but they wanted to know for sure." She turned. "They need to know if it was their son." Olivia sighed. "I can't imagine…I mean, I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to Jessie."

Sensing the detective was going to continue Alex stopped her. "Don't think about. Put it out of your mind. She's at the diner with Tony. It's Christmas Eve, Liv." Alex set her mug on the table and stood up. She walked over and hugged her girlfriend. "She's safe and will be here for dinner."

"I know." Being in her lover's arms made it even harder for Olivia to leave that morning. "I just wish there were guarantees that she will always be safe."

Alex sighed. "You and I have seen the worst things, the most tragic things that can happen to another human being. I can't ask you to forget them but you have to learn to not to always assume they are happening to our daughter."

"I know. I'm not sure what has gotten into me lately. I'm so worried about her, about us, about the adoption hearing…" Olivia hugged Alex tighter and leaned into her more.

"This last month has been hard on all of us. The next few days will be good ones. We could all use the breather. The adoption hearing will go well, Liv." Alex pushed her detective slightly away from her in order to see her face. She smiled. "You'll see. As for you and me…well, that's a work in progress. I promise you this: I love you and will never run from us again."

Olivia smiled. "You're right…about all of it. I need to relax. I love you."

The pair kissed and got ready for work. Alex was going into the office until 1PM; Olivia was meeting her partner at the squad room to go over some notes and check in with Cragen. Then it was off to the M.E.'s office to meet the mother and father of their latest victim. When Olivia come out of the bedroom and headed to the hall closet to get her coat her eyes caught her girlfriend in the living room looking at something in her hands. The detective went over and stood beside Alex. She looked at what she was holding; it was a picture of Katharine, Jess's mother. "It was sitting on the mantel, facing the tree."

"Maybe Jess will surprise us this Christmas. She's stronger than she looks sometimes, Al."

The A.D.A. looked from the picture to Olivia. "I know she is. Do we bring up the picture with her or let it lie?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Maybe you should talk to her about it. You lost your mother, too. She'll feel more comfortable talking to you about it."

Alex furrowed her brow. "You lost your mother as well, Liv."

"Jess doesn't know anything about my family. I want to keep it that way. She already knows about your mother. You have talked about it with her. I think Jess needs to know that we like the picture on the mantel and she is free to put up other pictures around the house of her loved ones." The brunette took the frame out of Alex's hands and looked at it.

"You have to tell Jess about your family. I know you see Simon every few months; at the very least she should know about him." Alex looked from the frame to her girlfriend's face.

Olivia placed the frame back on the mantel, facing the Christmas tree. "My mother was an alcoholic. My father was her rapist and I barely know Simon." She turned and looked at Alex. "What part of _my_ family should I talk to Jess about first?"

The blonde sighed and took Olivia's hands in hers. "She has asked me about them. I told her when you were ready you would talk to her about your family. I trust that you will."

"You have no idea what it's like to live with what I do. You couldn't and I'm not asking you to imagine it. What I am asking is that you respect that it is _my_ past. I don't want Jess to know about it. It's not fair to ask her to deal with knowing that kind of darkness. I don't want to burden her with my demons."

Alex squeezed her hands slightly and kissed her detective gently on the lips. "I understand how you feel. I do respect that it is _your_ past and none of my business. I never ask about your dinners with Simon. We're not talking about _me_, we're talking about Jess. To her, your family is a mystery. Sometimes that can be more of a burden then the God's honest truth. Just…think about it. That's all I'll ask of you."

Olivia nodded knowing she would never share her past with her daughter. The women got their winter gear on and left for the day.

When Alex got into work she made three phone calls, one to each of her siblings. The end result was that they loved the idea of her and Olivia owning the Penthouse condo their grandparents had bought years earlier. After a few more calls, emails and faxes, it was a done deal. Alex and Olivia were about to buy the condo; all the paperwork needed was the detective's signature.

**Manhattan SVU Squad Room**

Monday December 24, 10:45

Cragen walked out of his office and into the bullpen. "I need an update on the new case."

Elliot and Olivia looked across the desks at each other and then at the boss. "Lab report on the cord isn't back yet and neither are the LUDS. Probably won't have either until the end of the week; they're running on a skeleton crew down at One P.P. given it's the holidays." Elliot sat back in his chair as he spoke.

The brunette turned slightly in her chair to face her Captain. "We are heading down to Warner's office in 15 minutes. The family has flown in from San Diego to ID the victim."

"We're not going to let this case go cold because it's the holidays." He sighed. "When you're done with the ID at Warner's go down to One Police Plaza and explain that to them." Olivia and Elliot nodded. "Munch and Fin will be in tomorrow as both of you have taken vacation time. Make sure you leave them with something to go on."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, we got it."

Cragen nodded. "Good." His tone became softer. "You got my RSVP for the dinner party, right?"

The detective couldn't help but smile. "Yes, Sir."

He smiled back to her and walked to his office. He spoke over his shoulder as he walked. "I expect to hear about the great progress the lab is making on the cord this afternoon from you both and there is no excuse for not having the LUDS printout."

"Yes, Sir," Elliot said, mimicking his partner.

Olivia shot him a look and Elliot gave her a 'what did I do' look.

"Don't give me that look," she shook her head.

Elliot stood up and grabbed the keys to the sedan off his desk. "I have no idea what you are talking about. The only one of us giving looks this morning is you."

The brunette stood. "It's been a long few weeks and this case is getting colder by the minute. Can you please just give me today and _try_ not to be an asshole." She grabbed her leather coat off the back of her chair and put it on.

As Elliot put on his coat, he held up his hands, palms up, in surrender. "Fine. I will try. 'Tis the season, after all."

She smiled at him. In all honesty, she could never stay mad at him for any great length of time. Their professional relationship spanned almost a decade and a half.

Olivia and Elliot interviewed the victim's parents after they ID'd their son. With the conformation that their victim was Josh Larsson they asked about his personal and professional life. The parents gave them the names of two women their son had mentioned as girlfriends over the time he had been living in New York. They also spoke about a business partner he currently had for a firm called Capital Industries. The partner's proceeded to the lab at One Police Plaza to give the tech's their Captain's message.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Her time with Tony in the diner had been great. Jess missed the pace of cooking and talking with the regulars. She missed being around Tony the most. Ken met the teen for lunch around 1PM. They ate burgers, drank chocolate milk shakes and exchanged Christmas gifts over the Formica table in the last booth by the window, a tradition started a few years earlier. By 2:15PM they had said goodbye and Jess was back in the kitchen with Tony. "You're still coming for dinner tonight, right?"

The older man shot her a look. "You really think my answer has changed since you asked me two hours ago?"

Jess grinned. "No." The grin faded. "I just…I want you there, tonight…for dinner."

Tony pushed a small bit of hair behind Jess's left ear that had fallen out of her ponytail. "I wanna be there tonight. Jess, I wouldn't miss it."

The grin reappeared on the girl's face as they got two more orders for food. At 4PM Tony closed the diner and by 5PM he was driving himself and Jess up to her home. As promised, her quasi mothers had made a wonderful ham and scalloped potato dinner. Tony brought dessert. The foursome had a great meal and after dinner Tony and Jess exchanged Christmas gifts. Olivia and Jess played a couple of Rockband songs for Tony and Alex and afterwards they sat in the living room, in front of the Christmas tree and a warm fire and talked. Olivia and Alex loved hearing Jess and Tony tell stories from the diner. They also told stories about Christmas from the past. It amazed the detective and the A.D.A. how vividly Jess spoke about her mother; she never showed any sadness.

Eventually Tony called it a night and put his foot down when Jess pleaded with him to spend the night.

"But there is an extra room. Please, Tony, stay tonight."

The older man looked down at the young woman as they stood in the hallway by the door. "We've been over this, Little, Bitty, Pretty One. You have your home and I have mine. Goodnight, Jessie. I love you." He hugged Jess and she hugged him back, under his coat.

Olivia and Alex had also asked him to stay, when Jess had gone to the bathroom and the three of them had been alone. He explained to them that she had already asked him, and while he was flattered he felt it was best he didn't stay.

"I love you, too. I'll see you on the 26th for dinner, right?"

Tony smiled as the hug ended and he and Jess were looked at each other. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." He looked at all three women. "Merry Christmas to you all."

As Olivia and Alex hugged him, they wished him a Merry Christmas. He kissed Jess on the head and left the condo. Jess closed the door and put her hand on it as if that would hold the older man in her presence. "It's okay to cry." Olivia coaxed. She knew after all the reminiscing over the last few hours it was only a matter of time before it caught up with Jess.

"He's all alone, you know?" She turned to the women. "He made Connie leave their apartment when he found out about Brian Nudds. I wanted him to stay tonight so that he wouldn't be alone."

Alex pursed her lips. "He's not alone, Jessie. He has you and me and Olivia. Maybe he needs his own space tonight. You'll see him on the 26th. I know he'll be here. Tony's a man of his word."

Jess nodded. "You're right about that." She walked into the living room and up to the mantel. She took the picture of her mother off of it and walked towards her bedroom. Olivia furrowed her brow. "Where are you taking that?"

The teen turned and faced the older women, who were now standing in the living room. "I'm putting it back in my room."

"Why?" Olivia asked as her features softened.

She shrugged as she answered. "Because that's where it goes."

Olivia struggled with what to say next. Depending on how she worded it the night could be very long and filled with tears. Their first Christmas Eve together would always be the night she and Jess came clean about their pasts. Why Jess had put the picture on the mantle in the first place and worse, the absolute truth about Olivia's family. _Not tonight_. "Alex and I like it on the mantel. Do you?"

Jess looked down at the photo and smiled sadly. She did like it there. The young woman looked up and met their eyes across the room. "Yes."

The detective nodded her head towards the fireplace and smiled slightly. "Then put it back up there."

She walked over and placed the frame back where it had been. Alex and Olivia walked to and stood behind Jess. The taller brunette kissed the shorter one on the top of her head. "If there are any other pictures you want to put up around the house, please do."

Alex ran her hand over the hair on Jess's head and down her back. "This is your home, too. The people you love should be represented in here just as much as ours are." She said it knowing that there wasn't a single picture of Olivia's family in the residence. However, there were several pictures of the people her girlfriend loved most in the world and that's what mattered most.

The women changed into their pajamas, cleaned up the kitchen and lay down on the couch in the living room. With the fire stoked, they watched one Christmas movie and then Alex recited the story T'was the Night Before Christmas. Olivia had stroked Jess's hair during the story and the teen was almost asleep by the end. The detective smiled as she looked down at her daughter. "It's time for bed, Kid."

"She's right, you know," Alex agreed as she took in the sight. "Santa will be here soon."

Jess sighed and said in a sleepy tone, "You two are lame."

"Mmmmm…maybe. You're not putting up much of a fight though." Olivia grinned.

"Too sleepy." Jess lifted her head and looked at the women. "And maybe you're right."

Alex grinned. "It's a Christmas miracle, Liv. She said we were right."

The teen grinned at the silliness of it all. "I said 'maybe'."

Olivia's grin widened. "We'll take it."

They all got off the couch then. Alex and Olivia tucked their daughter in for the night. It was something they never did, as she was far too old. That night, though, and after the month they had had it went a long way for all three of them.

In their bed, after setting out Jess's gifts under the Christmas tree and filling the stockings hanging from the mantle, Olivia and Alex lay in each other's arms. The detective took in the soft scent of vanilla as she inhaled close to her lover's skin. "In this home, with you and Jess, the rest of the world fades away. I love you."

A single tear welled up and fell from Alex right eye. She stroked her girlfriend's soft hair. "You are the most extraordinary person I have ever met. With you, I have the most exquisite gift someone could receive, a family. I love you, Olivia Benson."

It didn't take long for either woman to fall asleep.

**Tuesday December 25****th****, 07:45 **

As Jess opened her eyes she wondered just how long she had been asleep. It felt like days. So much had happened in the last few weeks. The tiny brunette hadn't slept well over those weeks. She had tried to keep herself busy; she tried not to worry but it was no use. Jess worried constantly, about everything. Sleep had been at a premium despite how exhausted she had been. Last night was the first night in a long time sleep had come without effort. A smile played across her lips at the memory of Alex reading to her and Olivia playing with her hair. It was nice having them both home, with her, not out of obligation but because they wanted to be there. _Wait…it's Christmas morning._ It didn't matter that Jess was 16; Christmas was still Christmas.

She rolled over and grabbed her cell from the bedside table. The teen thumbed it awake and read the time. _7:46AM Time to open presents!_ She ripped the blankets off and hit the hardwood floor, running. Out of her room, across the living room and down the hall to her pseudo mothers' room. Jess listened at the door for any signs that they might be awake. Nothing. She knocked quietly on the door. Nothing. The teen reached for the doorknob and turned it. As she slowly opened the door Olivia and Alex came into her view. The A.D.A. was spooning the detective. Jess crept in silently and smiled at the sight. Despite her excitement about the day she didn't want to wake them. She took the blanket off the end of the bed in her arms and carefully crawled onto the bed. The teen curled up at the foot of the bed and spread the blanket over herself. The room was dark, silent, warm and safe. Jess closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of both women. She snuggled in the blanket and fell asleep almost instantly.

**09:25 **

Alex became aware of the morning first. She hadn't even opened her eyes but she knew it had to be daylight. She felt as if she had been asleep for months. Her detective was wrapped in her arms and Alex's body ran the length of Olivia's. She held her tighter and leaned into her. Olivia grinned as she woke. Her fingers were dovetailed in her girlfriends' and she held them tighter. She pushed her body back ever so slightly leaning into Alex's.

"Good morning, Detective." Alex tone was a deep whisper, partly from sleep and partly because she was aroused.

"Morning, Counselor," was the reply, in an equally deep whisper.

She nuzzled the side of Olivia's neck. "What time is it?"

"Who cares? Let's just lie here until someone tells us otherwise."

A grin formed on Alex's lips. "Sounds good. I gotta stretch out on my back. Cuddle with me."

"Always." Olivia smiled.

Alex stretched her legs and turned onto her back in one motion. As she stretched, her feet ran into something that prevented her from stretching out completely. She opened her eyes and sat up. Her grin got wider. "We have company."

Olivia opened her eyes as wide as possible and sat up. She chuckled. "How long do you think she's been here?"

"Since 7:50," Jess said in a lazy tone.

"You're awake?" Alex asked.

"Yup."

Olivia looked from the teen to her girlfriend and then back to the teen who had yet to open her eyes. "How long _were_ you gonna let Al and I go on for?"

"Until you started French kissing. I'm mildly aware that you have sex; I wasn't going to lie here with a front row seat…that's nasty. A kid never wants to wants to hear, see or accidentally walk in on their parents having sex." Jess was still speaking in a lazy tone, indicating that she was putting no effort into the answer and was happy to lie there.

"Why are you in here?" Alex asked with some concern in her voice. Having never had a child of her own there were certain things that amazed her about one. Jess did everything for a reason. Sometimes the reasons were incredibly adult, cunning, or manipulative. Other times they were very bare bones or childish. She had a wide range of emotions that sometimes bordered on an extreme high or low. Sleeping in the same bed as her and Olivia could be a sign Jess was scared or sad.

"I came in here to wake you both but when I saw you guys I couldn't bring myself to do it. You looked so happy and relaxed. So I just lay down at the foot of the bed. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep." Jess opened her eyes and smiled at the women looking at her. She moved between them and stretched out with the blanket still over her.

The weight of the teen made the blankets Alex and Olivia were under tight and the pair fell backwards onto their respective pillows. Jess lay on her stomach and giggled as she felt the women collapse on either side of her. "I like your idea about lying here until someone tells us otherwise."

"Hey, Kid?" Olivia said as she turned and looked into the hazel eyes fighting to stay open.

"Yeah?"

She grinned. "Merry Christmas."

Jess's eyes flew open. "It's Christmas morning." In a flash she was standing in the middle of the bed. "It's _Christmas_ morrrrrrning!"

Alex threw her head back in laughter. Jess wasn't sad or scared. The reason she was in the bedroom was out of courtesy. At this point she was as far away from sad or scared as a person could get. "Excited?" she said through her laughter as she looked up at the teen.

"Yesssss! Can we open presents' now…pleeeeeease?" _How could she have forgotten in her sleep it was Christmas morning?_

Olivia and Alex exchanged grins. It was obvious the kid was going to have a stroke if she they didn't oblige her. They looked up at her. "Yes."

"Waaaaahhooooo!" Jess leapt from the middle of the bed, over Olivia and onto the hardwood floor of the bedroom. As soon as her feet hit the wood she was off again; out the door, down the hall and into the living room.

The detective looked from the doorway to her girlfriend in disbelief. "It's as if she's five years old."

Alex smiled slightly and nodded as she looked at Olivia. "Today, our daughter is a kid. Not a 35 year old trapped in a teenage body. She doesn't work for the NYPD, she isn't testifying in court, there are no perps trying to kidnap you, she isn't running away, no murderer trying to slit my throat and no one is trying to rape her. She's a kid and it's Christmas morning."

A small smile appeared on Olivia's lips. "It's a good day for her."

"It's a good day for all of us." Alex said and then kissed her detective. She pushed her tongue at Olivia's lips and they let her have access. The kiss deepened and the women somehow became intertwined on the bed. Christmas music filled the air in the home but neither woman heard it.

"Get out here! I'm starting with my stocking!" Jess yelled in excitement.

Both women heard her and started to laugh. Olivia rolled off of Alex and held her hand out. They got out of bed and walked hand-in-hand out to the living room. As she had stated, Jess had her stocking in her hand and was sitting on one end of the couch. The other women grabbed theirs and they all dug in.

It didn't take long for Jess to rip open all of her gifts. Alex and Olivia weren't far behind her. The teen looked in the Christmas tree for more envelopes. She had been told to look for them and found one with her name on it. Inside were tickets to Rent in a few months. Jess had actually cried when she opened the envelope and realized the women raising her were continuing her mother's tradition of giving her tickets to the theater for Christmas. The tiny brunette came across an envelope with Alex's name on it. She carefully took it out of the tree branches and handed it to her.

Alex smiled when she recognized her name scrolled in Olivia's handwriting. The detective looked at her girlfriend. "Before you open this I think I need to tell you something about it."

The A.D.A. nodded for Olivia to continue.

"Inside that is something somewhat depressing. You need to look beyond what it is and understand what it represents."

"Okay." The smile on Alex face faded as she opened the envelope. She took out the contents and unfolded the many pages stapled together. It didn't take her long to skim the first page. Her mouth dropped in shock as she looked back at her partner. "Olivia, why would you give me this?"

The detective put her hands out, palms up. "Just listen to me. Turn to page seven."

Jess watched the scene unfold in front of her. She knew as soon as she saw the first page in Alex's hands what it was Olivia had given her. The teen was worried that when all was said and done Alex wouldn't want the responsibility. Jess watched her closely to gauge her reaction.

Alex flipped to the seventh page and skimmed it. Then she read one sentence twice, just to be sure she had read it correctly. She looked up at Olivia. "You're leaving Jess to me?" It had come out more of question than a statement.

"Yes." Olivia nodded. "I know you will give her the best life possible. You love her and she loves you."

The blonde turned slightly to her daughter as she slowly dropped her hands, and Olivia's will into her lap. "And you're okay with this?"

"Yes. Livie already had the paperwork drawn up when she asked me who I would want to live with if something happened to her. I told her I wanted to live with you. You were my family. Do you want me?" Fear was etched on Jess's face. If Alex didn't want the responsibility of raising her without Olivia, she wasn't sure what she would do.

Olivia had never meant for this to become some sort of showdown. She had been positive up until that moment that Alex wouldn't think twice about raising Jess on her own. Seeing the fear of possible rejection on her daughter's face made her wonder what would happen if Alex said no.

Alex's features slowly returned to normal as the reality of the pieces of paper in her hands set in. A tear welled up in her right eye and fell down her cheek as she blinked. "Of course I want you." Jess crawled across the couch and into Alex's arms for a hug. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

"There is at least one more envelope in that tree," Alex said into Jess's ear. The pair let go of each other and Jess walked back to the Christmas tree. She found it and plucked it from the branch it was resting on. She walked up to Olivia and handed it to her.

The handwriting indicated that whatever was in the envelope was from Alex. The detective smiled and opened it. She pulled out a neatly folded wad of papers. She unfolded them and actually had to read most of the first three pages in order to fully understand what they meant. Olivia looked over at her girlfriend. "We're buying this place from your siblings?"

Alex nodded. "Yes, if you want to. I spoke to them and they want us to buy it from them. It would be ours, just you and me."

Olivia let out a huff and a small chuckle. "I can only imagine what this place is worth. I can't afford to buy out your sister and brothers."

"Actually you can," Alex said with a tiny grin. "Read the second last page."

Flipping to it Olivia read the page. The monetary amount she was responsible for was doable. It was roughly the amount she would have taken out as a mortgage on a place of her own. "This isn't fifty per cent of the value of this condo, Al."

"Maybe not," Alex confessed. "But you've made up the difference ten-fold by making this condo a home. I want this place to be our home, lock, stock and barrel. Whaddaya say?"

What could she say? It was something Olivia desperately wanted. Not so much in the financial sense but in terms of grand gestures, this was pretty big. The ownership of one of the Cabot family estates wasn't something anyone of them took lightly. Alex was serious about building a life together and this was one way of showing it. Olivia smiled. "Gotta pen?"

Alex leaned over and took Olivia's cheeks in her hands as she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too." The women kissed while Jess grabbed a pen from her room. She brought it back and Olivia signed the paperwork. It was official.

Jess looked at the women who were raising her. "Brunch anyone?"

They nodded in agreement and the teen went into the kitchen to start. Olivia got up from the couch and Alex grabbed her left hand. The detective stopped and turned to her. In a hushed but serious tone the blonde spoke. "I read the date you revised your will."

Olivia nodded, as her eye grew darker.

"You were going to leave Jess to me even when you couldn't stand to look at me." There was a slight tremble in her voice.

The detective looked away for a moment and then looked back into the deep blue eyes of her lover. "Honestly, I was thinking of Jessie when I had my will redone. I knew she would want to be with you." Olivia smiled slightly. "I knew you were the only person who could give her the love she needs."

"Thank you."

She bent down in order to be closer to Alex as they spoke. "It's true that there was a time, not that long ago, that I couldn't stand to look at you. You broke my heart, Alex and that's not something that heals overnight." Olivia pursed her lips as she saw her girlfriend's eyes get darker by the end of the sentence. "We are a work in progress. We'll never be what we once were but it's up to us to determine where we go from here." The brunette took both of Alex's hands in hers. "I want a life with you. I want us to work. No more secrets, no more lies. We need to stop hiding how we feel from each other. Are you in?"

Alex nodded. "I'm in. I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't want to be with anyone else. I want you, Olivia." The detective leaned in and kissed her. Alex deepened the kiss with her tongue. The brunette guided her lover onto the couch behind her and lay on top of her.

The shot came out of nowhere. Neither woman heard Jess sneak into the living room; nor did they hear her pull the plastic trigger. They did find themselves in a very wet kiss.

"Uhhh…what is that?" Alex whined. Annoyed she was wet.

Olivia wiped her face with her right hand, as she was using her left as leverage to keep her upper body off Alex. "Water." She wheeled her neck around and caught her daughter out of the corner of her eye. "I don't care that it's Christmas…you're gonna pay for that, Jess!" the detective said with a smile on her face as she leaped off Alex and was over the back of the couch in a second flat.

"Oh, yeah? Really? You gonna stop me?" Jess said playfully with a huge grin on her face. She pointed the plastic water gun at Olivia.

"Damn right I…"

It was too late. Jess pulled the trigger until the gun was out of water. Olivia manage to subdue the younger woman but at the cost of her t-shirt…and a bit of pride.

The trio ate brunch and relaxed for most of the day. The only things they did accomplish were the two dishes they were taking to the Stablers that night for dinner. They left the condo at 3:30PM for the Stabler homestead in Queens.

**Stabler Residence**

**Glen Oak, Queens**

**Tuesday December 25****th****, 16:20**

When they walked into the house the women could already smell the turkey. After making sure Kathy didn't need any help Jess joined the Stabler kids in the living room, where they were playing Rockband. The adults were in the kitchen talking.

"Where are they?" Olivia asked. There was excited impatients in her tone.

Elliot handed her a MGD that he had twisted the top off of. "I understand why the kids are gonna be excited…but you." He narrowed his eyes slightly with a small grin on his face. "You, I don't understand."

Olivia shrugged with a tiny grin that matched his. "I want to see her face when Jess realizes what the card is."

"Having kids is great, isn't it?" he held out his beer.

She knocked it gently with her own. "Yes, it truly is, partner."

Kathy opened a drawer and pulled out an envelope. She turned and handed it to Olivia with a smile on her face. "Here, there are tiny envelopes with everyone's name on them in there. Inside the tiny envelopes are the cards. You can set one on each plate on the table." She shrugged as she grinned. "I put a name on each envelope so they looked like place cards for the table."

"Nice one." Olivia said as she smiled and took the large envelope from Kathy.

Olivia placed the rest of the tiny envelopes on the plates that were on the table and ended in front of Alex. She kissed her girlfriend, placed an envelope on her plate and went to speak with Elliot about the Larsson case. Kathy nudged Alex's hip with her own. "You two seem to be doing well."

"It's a work in progress." Alex smiled as she turned and watched Olivia and Elliot talk. She looked back at Kathy. "I am truly grateful for the chance. I love her, Kath, I really do."

Kathy grinned. "I know you do."

**17:30**

With everyone sitting around the table and Eli in his high chair there was barely enough room in the kitchen to breath. There was sense of togetherness that Jess had longed for her whole life that she found at these dinners. It had started that very first cook-off she and Elliot had had. In front of them sat a table of incredible food. Directly in front of everyone was a small envelope on his or her plate indicating where they were to sit.

Kathy started. "Before we dig in everyone can open the envelop sitting on their plate."

Olivia had made sure she and Alex were sitting across from Jess. She couldn't wait to see the kid's face.

Everyone opened their envelopes. It was no surprise to the parents at the table, so they hesitated opening their own in order to see their children's reactions. The Stabler children looked around the table at each other with confused looks. They looked at either end of the table, to each of their parents. Richard looked at his mother. "I don't get it. What is this?" he asked holding up his card.

Jess had seen Mickey Mouse on the front of her card; it was the size of a credit card. She had flipped it over and read the back. "It's a five-day park hopper pass," She said in disbelief. She finally looked up and across the table, directly at Olivia. The corners of her mouth started to tug up into the beginnings of a smile. "It's a park pass to Disney World."

Olivia nodded and grinned slightly.

The young woman's chin began to quiver as her grin got a little bigger. "You remembered."

Although it had come out as more of a statement than a question Olivia continued to nod.

Jess looked down at the pass in her hands and blinked. The tears that had formed in her eyes fell down her cheeks. She looked back up at Olivia. A full-on smile had highjacked her lips. "I'm going to Disney."

Olivia's eye grew dark and glassy as her trademark crooked smile appeared. "Yes, Kid. You're going to the happiest place on earth."

"Ummm…just to be clear…we're _all_ going to Disney World, right?" Richard said as she looked from Olivia to his mother.

"Richard!" Kathy said in an angry tone. She couldn't believe he had spoiled the moment between Olivia and Jess.

"Dickie!" Elliot hollered from the other end of the table.

"Honestly, Richard!" Maureen said.

"Wow…way to ruin the moment bro," Lizzie said.

"He didn't ruin anything," Jess said looking around the table. "We're all going to Disney!"

"Woooohooooooo!" The kids yelled.

Discussion was in full swing for at least two minutes about when they were going; where they were staying. Jess looked across the table at Olivia and Alex. The smile had never left her face. She mouthed "Thank you" to both of them. They both mouthed "You're welcome."

Kathy put up her hands, palms up after about two minutes of non-stop questions. "Enough, the food is getting cold. Richard, say Grace." 

After Grace it was dinner as usual around the kitchen table. People were polite but food disappeared as if it was the Last Supper. The kids cleared and washed the dished while everyone discussed their Disney trip further. Once the last dish was dry everyone went into the living room to exchange gifts. Afterwards, the kids played poker, a Stabler family tradition; with Richard's new poker chip set the adults had drinks in the kitchen. The other gift Richard received from his parents was a promise from his father to take him to the shooting range and teach him how to fire a gun.

02:41

The song brought her out of sleep. Without opening her eyes she reached for her cell phone. Jess knew who was on the other end of the call from the song emanating from the phone. She answered it with her eyes still closed. "Hey," she said in a sleepy tone.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"Yeah, it's late…I think?" It didn't feel like it was morning. Plus, even with her eyes closed Jess could tell the sun wasn't up yet.

"It's 2:40. Can I come up?"

Jess's eyes fluttered open. "What?" It was the first time she sounded awake.

"You heard me. I'm downstairs."

"Seriously?" A grin formed on her face as she sat up in bed.

"Yes."

"Get up here."

They had been completely silent when Jess let Richard enter the condo. He had taken off his winter gear and they had headed to her bedroom. Jess closed the door to her room once they were inside. She turned and looked at her boyfriend, who was sitting on the edge of her bed with his feet on the hardwood floor. The brunette walked over to her bedside table. She pulled her wallet out of her sweatpants and tossed it on the table, pulled her cell phone out as well; thumbed around until she found a playlist of songs she liked and then set it down on the table. Jess looked at Richard. "Stripe me."

"True Love Way" by Kings of Leon emanated from the cell phone.

(_Warning... like a substitute  
I've been working awful hard for you  
But you don't say, you just hold your breath  
So I can't touch what I haven't yet  
She's a cold one and it hurts me so  
It's a dark path and a heck of a goal  
If she could feel me like she did before_)

It had been said in a soft tone. For the first time, in a long time, Richard felt that the request was something coming from his girlfriend's heart and not her mind. He gently pulled her tank-top up over her head, exposing her breasts. He placed his thumbs between the waistband of her sweatpants and the warm skin on her hips. The young man pulled them down. Jess was totally naked.

(_We'd be so free  
Happy alone  
Sharing a smile  
So far from home_) 

She pulled the white t-shirt over her boyfriend's head and tossed it on the floor, next to her tank-top. Jess straddled him on the edge of her bed, bringing her breast to Richard's mouth. He licked at her left nipple, which was already hard. She wound her hands around his neck and leaned into him. He took her nipple in his mouth and sucked at it. This made Jess's head fall back and her eyes close. Richard put his arms around her back and held her as he moved.

In one fluid motion, she was on her back and he was hovering over her; his lower body between her thighs and his hands were now on the bed, above her head for support. She grinned ever-so slightly. "I trust you."

He kissed her on the lips. Then left a line of kisses down her neck, between her breasts, down her torso and stopped just below her navel. Richard licked her clit.

"Mmmmm," Jess moaned as she exhaled.

He licked her clit a couple more times and then sucked on it.

"Uhhhhhhh," Jess moaned as she involuntarily arched her back.

As he sucked on her clit Richard took two fingers and ran them around the opening of her sex. This not only garnered more moaning but Jess bucked her hips in an effort to force his fingers inside her. He let go of his vice-like grip on her clit and licked at the opening of Jess's sex. _She was so wet already._ The young man sunk his index finger inside her sex first and started to lick his girlfriend's clit again. As he sunk his middle finger inside her he sucked her clit. He started a slow rhythm.

"Uh, uh, uh…yeah."

(_Push in and I pull it away  
It's the hard part but the true love way_) 

Richard couldn't take it any longer; he was hard and needed to be inside his girlfriend. He sat up slightly, gently pulled his fingers out of her and pulled his pants down. Without taking his eyes off her he reached over to the bedside table, opened the drawer and found a condom. Richard ripped the wrapper open, grabbed the condom and put it on. As he leaned back towards Jess he pushed the tip of his penis inside her sex. She opened her legs wider and he pushed all the way inside her as he rubbed his thumb against her clit. "Yessss" Richard said. _She felt soooo good._ He started to develop a rhythm.

"Uh, uh, uh…more…uh, uh, uh." Jess said with labored breath.

(_Till you want it like a wanted man  
With your smart mouth and your killer hand  
We can both share all that I have made  
For a young man it's a heck of a wage  
And I feel crazy when I see your face_)

He looked down at his girlfriend. She appeared to be concentrating but she had a slight grin on her face. He tilted his head down and licked the right side of her neck. This garnered a small shiver. "Bite me."

Richard was surprised but bit down gently on the tension cord that was exposed when Jess turned her head all the way to the left. This forced her hips to move faster as she clamped her hands down on her boyfriend's shoulders.

(_Cause we'd be so free_

_Happy alone  
Sharing a smile  
So far from home_)

_He tried to keep up with the new pace. Richard was shocked at how she had reacted. "Uh, uh…you're so good…" he said as he matched the pace she had set. He went back to her neck and bit at it a little harder._

"Yes, yessss…uh, uh…fuck…I'm gonna…uhhhhhhh."

Jess's body stiffened as she dug her fingers into Richard's shoulders. As her sex tightened around his penis he could only hold on for two more thrusts.

"Mmmmmm…uhhhhhh." Jess whined as her orgasm took over and tried to push Richard out of her.

"Uh, uh…nooo…" Richard whispered in a labored tone as he came hard and fought to stay inside the warm wetness of his girlfriend's sex.

She bucked and tried to squirm out and away from him. When he had come Richard lessened the force he was putting on Jess, allowing her to push him out. "Uhhhhhh," she said as she completely relaxed. Her whole body felt like jelly. Richard rolled off her and lay on his back next to her on the bed.

(_And we would laugh  
Laugh till we cry  
Making a song  
Making me lie_)

"I'm sorry I didn't let you up," he said as he turned on his side and looked at Jess.

"Don't be," she said with a grin. "I loved it."

After a couple more songs the teens put most of their clothing back on. Jess turned the music off and put the phone on vibrate. Richard lay on his back and Jess lay with her head on his chest, her arm across him and her left leg over one of his. They fell asleep within minutes.

Wednesday December 26th,

7:30

Alex stretched her arms over her head as she woke. Although she hadn't opened her eyes yet she felt someone else's on her. "What's on your mind, Detective?"

Not the least bit surprised Alex could sense her staring, Olivia answered. "I've been thinking a lot about my family lately. I'm sorry I dismissed your idea of telling Jess about them so quickly."

Opening her eyes she turned her head to the direction the voice had come from. "You have nothing to be sorry about." Alex shook her head. "I shouldn't get in the middle of your past. You were right, you know; I don't know what it's like to live with what you do."

The brunette looked away from Alex. "You think Jess does though," she looked back into the bright blue eyes, "don't you?"

"I think there are parallels between what you both have had to live with, yes." Alex nodded then pursed her lips. "That doesn't mean that now is the best time to explore them." She turned towards her girlfriend and put her left hand on her cheek. "I trust you. You will know when the right time is to tell her. I'll stay out of it from now on, I promise."

Olivia smiled slightly, "Thanks. Maybe I should just tell her everything, today"

"Do you really think that's a good idea given that Abbie will be here before 3PM and you will be serving dinner for thirteen tonight?"

"No." Olivia said in a deep tone. "But I mean really, when will be the _right_ time to bring this up?"

"You'll know when the time is right. I would not suggest today, though. It's not something you should force just to get it over with."

"You're right. There is too much going on now anyway. Jess is overwhelmed as it is. I don't want to add to that."

Alex took Olivia's face in her hand. "It's something that will have to come up organically, not in a contrived situation. Trust me, you both will find your way to that discussion. Not today, not tomorrow but at some point."

Olivia smiled. "I love you." She kissed Alex. The women somehow became intertwined and the kiss became deeper.

They were still kissing when the alarm went off. The pair continued to kiss until the noise became too distracting. The kiss broke and Alex rolled over and shut it off. When she rolled back Olivia was out of bed and standing up. The blonde lunged for her. "Hey, get your tits back here." She grabbed her girlfriend around the waist and pulled her back into bed.

Olivia laughed out loud as she bounded onto the bed. The pair wrestled for dominance, but in the end the brunette was on top. She had Alex's arms stretched over her own head. Olivia looked down into the sparkling blue eyes. "You wanna eat turkey tonight?"

"Yes," She grinned

"Then I have to start now. Plus…don't you work today?" Olivia's voice was deep.

"Yes." Alex's tone was playful. "But I'd rather eat you…_now_…" She lifted her head up and bit gently at the tension cord on the left side of Olivia's neck.

The detective shuddered at the sensation and released her grip on Alex's arms. Knowing this would be her opportunity to gain the upper hand the blonde pushed up with her body in order to throw Olivia off balance.

"Oh no you don't…" Olivia's voice was even deeper this time. It drove Alex crazy. The brunette stiffened and held her place, over the blonde. "Tonight, my love. We will play tonight. Right now, it's all about the bird." Olivia pushed herself off Alex and off the bed.

Alex feigned hurt. "I remember a time when it was all about this blonde and brunette."

Olivia smiled. "That was before we owned this place, before we had a daughter and before I knew just how much I loved you."

A smiled formed across Alex's lips. "Did you ever think we would be here?"

"I thought about something like this but I never imagined it would feel this good."

"Me either. I love you, Olivia."

The detective winked at her, turned and started to walk towards the bedroom door. "Ohhhh…but I also love to watch you walk away from me."

Olivia swayed her backside a little more as she walked to the door, opened it and left the room. Alex got up and took a shower, a slightly colder shower than usual. When she joined her girlfriend in the kitchen later, dinner appeared to be started as had breakfast.

"It's fifteen for dinner tonight."

"What?" Alex said as she helped herself to a cup of coffee.

"You heard me." Olivia grinned.

Alex turned and took a sip. "How did that happen?"

"Munch called me yesterday to thank me for having lunch delivered to them. He also asked me if he could bring someone for dinner tonight."

"Munch is bringing someone." Alex's right eyebrow shot up. "This otta be good."

"I know, right. How could I say no to that?"

"Okay so that's fourteen. Who's fifteen?"

"Jaylen." Olivia's brow rose as she said the name.

Alex cocked her head. "We get to meet the infamous Jaylen."

"Yes, we do. Jess asked the other day if she could invite her. I told her sure."

"She's been going to Mount Pleasant Prep for months now and Jaylen is the only person I ever really hear about."

"Me too. I can't wait to meet her." Olivia grinned.

"I know Jaylen has been here before but never when I'm here. It'll be nice to finally meet her." Alex smiled. "Where's Jess anyway?"

"Not sure." Olivia shrugged. "She's usually up by now even if she has the day off."

"Wanna wake her together before you start the eggs?"

"Yeah."

Both women grinned as they left the kitchen, crossed the living room and headed to Jess's bedroom door. Alex turned the knob and opened the door a crack. _Nothing_. She opened it completely and both women stood there in silence. Alex started into the room but Olivia grabbed her hand and pulled her back. They both left the room and Olivia closed the door. They went back to the kitchen. "What are they doing sleeping together?" Alex hissed.

"I don't know." Olivia said.

"We told them they couldn't. How much clearer could we have been?"

"Not much."

Alex narrowed her eyes at the detective. "Why aren't you angry?"

She shrugged. "Maybe there's a good reason they are sleeping together."

"Are you kidding me?" The A.D.A.'s jaw dropped.

"Well, he wasn't here when we went to bed last night. So something happened between then and now."

"What, huh? What could have happened between then and…" Alex was interrupted by Olivia's cell phone.

She answered it, recognizing the number. "Good morning."

"Hey, Liv. Is Dickie at your place?"

"Yup, he is."

"May I speak to him, please?. He doesn't seem to be answering his cell."

"He's still sleeping, Kathy."

There was a slight pause on the other end before Kathy Stabler cleared her throat. "Could you please wake him up and tell him that he had better get his ass and my van back to Queens?"

Olivia couldn't help it; she started to laugh. "I will tell him that, verbatim. I'm making breakfast now; could I at least send him to you will a full belly?"

Kathy smiled and chuckled. "Sure, but make sure when you wake him up he is terrified."

"Oh, believe me…he will rue the day he took off in your van, Kathy."

"Thanks, Liv. See ya tonight."

"No problem."

They hung up and Olivia looked at Alex. "It appears Dickie absconded with his mother's van last night."

"A real Bonny and Clyde those two are turning out to be," Alex said with a raised brow as she nodded in the direction of Jess's bedroom.

Olivia chuckled. "I'm sure he had a good reason."

"You know, I'm really surprised at you. You keep defending them as if you know there was some incredible circumstance that excuses their actions," Alex said as she furrowed her brow.

"Not excusing their actions." Olivia said shaking her head. "But maybe it explains them or maybe they just wanted to be together."

"Liv, their just kids. I know they're cute but this sleeping together has to stop."

Olivia shrugged. "I know."

Alex looked at the clock on the stove. "Uhhh..well I no longer have time to investigate this one." She kissed her girlfriend. "Good luck with this caper. I'll be home by 4PM." Olivia followed her to the front hall where she dressed in her winter gear.

"You look goooood in that," the brunette said.

The A.D.A. winked at her. "Tonight…don't forget."

Olivia grinned. "It's a date."

Alex turned and left the condo. Olivia went back into the kitchen. She grabbed a large pot and a wooden spoon and headed to Jess's bedroom. After opening the door she peered in. Jess was lying on her stomach; Richard was lying on his side with his arm across her back. It made Olivia smile when she saw them sleeping like that. She walked further into the room and stood beside the bed, closest to Richard.

"BANG, BANG, BANG." Olivia started hitting the pot with the wooden spoon.

Both teenagers jumped as they were scared out of sleep. Richard grabbed Jess to protect her but then they both realized it was Olivia in the room. The young man crawled across his girlfriend and leapt out of bed, on the opposite side of Olivia. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…I'm leaving…" He stumbled around looking for his wallet and car keys.

"We're sorry, Livie. We didn't mean to fall asleep together." _Nothing like starting the morning off with a lie._

The detective stopped banging the pot as Richard stubbed his toe so hard on the end of the bed that he stumbled. It was only then that Olivia realized both teens had all their clothing on. While they may have been sleeping together, they were fully clothed doing so. "Wait, wait." She walked over to Richard. "Are you okay?"

Although the banging had stopped he knew Olivia was pissed. He also knew his mother would be angry for having her van. "I'm fine. I gotta go. I'm sorry, Olivia."

"Hold on. It's okay. Just slow down."

"I can't. My mom is gonna be pissed. I took her van last night and I was gonna bring it back today before she noticed."

"Oh, well, she already noticed."

"What?" He looked at her puzzled.

"She already called me."

"Fuck," he said as he closed his eyes and his head fell back. He brought it back and opened his eyes. "Sorry."

Olivia grinned. "It' fine. Look, she is pissed but she told me I could feed you breakfast before I send you home to her."

"You made breakfast?" Jess asked.

The grin on Olivia's face widened. "I started it. You can finish it. I also started the turkey."

"Niiice" Jess jumped out of bed and she and Olivia went out the kitchen. Richard rubbed his toe and wondered if he would ever understand women. After a nice breakfast he drove back to Queens to receive the ass chewing from his mother for the grand theft auto on her van.

Jess showered after breakfast but came out of her bedroom in sweatpants and a tank-top. Olivia looked at her. "Is that what you're wearing today?"

She looked down at herself and then at Olivia. "Like you should talk."

The detective smiled and nodded. "I'm gonna make a fire; wanna watcha movie?"

"Sure, whatta wanna watch?"

"You pick," Olivia said over her shoulder as she started to build a fire in the fireplace.

Two hours later _Home Alone_ was over, the popcorn Jess had made was gone and Olivia was cracking her knuckles. "What's your damage?"

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked. She was sitting on the couch with her legs stretched out onto an ottoman and her arm around her daughter. Jess was leaning against the older woman with her legs tucked under her curled up under the blanket she was sharing with the detective.

"You fidgeted through most of the movie and now you're cracking your knuckles. So…what's your damage?" Jess laced her fingers with Olivia's.

The taller woman sighed. "Just restless, I guess. Alex is better at the chilling out and cuddling thing, isn't she?"

Jess snickered playfully. "Ha, yeah a little bit. You're thinking about the new case. You know, the one you won't talk to me about."

"You think you're soooo smart, don't you? Think you got me all figured out, huh?" The detective played with the ring on Jess's ring finger.

"Well, your avoidance in answering pretty much speaks to how well I know you. Why did you take so much off? You're gonna go bananas."

Olivia squeezed Jess lovingly into her side with her arm. "I wanted to spend time with you. It's Christmas. Plus, it's my annual Christmas dinner tonight and Abbie is coming all the way from Washington. She's only gonna be here until the 28th."

"When was the last time you went for a jog?"

She thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. Why?"

"You should go. Burn off some of that energy. Plus, it will give you time to think about the case. All the guys will be here tonight; if you think of anything you can run it by them."

Olivia cracked a smile. "You really do know me, don't you?"

Jess turned her head slightly and nuzzled Olivia's side. "It's a gift."

As she was leaving her bedroom the detective called her partner.

"Hey, Liv, what's up?"

"Not much. Just wondering how the case is going."

Elliot grinned. "You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?"

"Nope," She said, squeezing her cell phone between her shoulder and ear as she tied her running shoes in the front hall.

"You're in luck. Warner called and the toxic screen came back on the Vic. It was positive for flunitrazepam." Elliot leaned back in his chair in the bullpen.

"Flunitrazepam isn't something one takes for recreation or voluntarily," Olivia said standing up.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what we came up with. Listen, you took a few days off…why don't you actually take them off and stop thinking about this place? We can handle it."

Olivia chuckled. "I have all the faith in the world."

They disconnected and Olivia poked her head in the kitchen. "How much of that did you hear?"

Jess looked up from the large turkey in a roasting pot that she had taken out of the oven and set on the island. "Who me?" she pointed to herself. One hand still had an oven mitt on, the other held a baster.

"Yes, Susie Homemaker, you." There was an edge of sarcasm in her voice.

"I heard nothing. I'm tending to_ your_ turkey," Jess said, looked back at the bird and started to baste it.

"Ummm-huh." Olivia turned and put her hand on the door knob to open it and leave the condo.

"I would spend that jog thinking about why someone would wanna date-rape your Vic," Jess said matter-of-factly.

Olivia sighed as she turned the knob. "Thanks, Susie. You know, it's not normal for a 16 year-old to know the generic name for Rohypnol or know that it's commonly used to date-rape someone."

"Who said I was normal?" Jess called after Olivia.

The detective explored every reason she could think of for why someone would want to Ruffie her Vic as she took one of her three usual routes for jogging. She was gone for over an hour.

Manhattan SVU Squad Room

As Elliot set the phone down on his desk he was surprised to look up and see Alexandra Cabot standing in front of him. "Counselor, what can I do for you?"

"I need a lesson."

This made the detective raise his brow. "Okay…what kind of lesson?"

Alex cleared her throat. "Can we take this into the locker room?"

The rest of the detectives and their Captain were within earshot of their conversation. Elliot stood up and gestured with his right arm for her to €go first. He followed her to the locker room. "So…what kind of a lesson are you looking for?"

"I need to know how to get the upper hand in a wrestling match with someone who is smaller but stronger than me."

Elliot couldn't tell if it was from the cold weather outside or the subject of their conversation inside but the A.D.A.'s cheeks were bright pink as she spoke. He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "Take off your coat."

13:15

When Olivia appeared in the kitchen Christmas music was playing loudly, there was a plethora of bowls and serving plates set out on the counters with Post-It notes in them and Jess was putting the top crust on an apple pie. The detective smiled. "There'd better be a pumpkin pie somewhere around here."

Jess looked up once she was satisfied with the placement of the crust. "What is this, amateur night?" She grinned. "Check the fridge."

The detective opened the door to the fridge and was shocked to find so much food prepped in it. She found the pumpkin pie and her smile widened. "Exactly how much of this dinner have you started?"

"Most of it. Once Aunt Abbie gets here I figured we wouldn't wanna spend too much time in here getting stuff ready." She wiped her hands on a dish towel and then promptly whipped Olivia in the backside with the towel.

Olivia spun around and smiled her trademark grin. "I'm gonna get you for that."

"Not right now you're not," she said grinning. "Aunt Abbie called from Penn Station while you were in the shower. She'll be at the subway in about five minutes. I'm going to meet her; you need to put that pie in the oven and get your hair outta that towel."

"You're lucky your Aunt's on her way," Olivia said pointing to her daughter.

"Yeah, yeah…" Jess said over her shoulder as she made her way into the front hall to put on her coat and boots.

Corner of Central Park West and 86th Street, 13:36

The second wave of people started to come up from the 86th Street subway since Jess had been standing on the corner. When she saw Abbie's head pop up and then the rest of her body appeared as she climbed the steps out of the subway, Jess grinned. Abbie Carmichael walked towards the now brunette. It took a minute for her to recognize the teen. She held out her arms. "Come here, Kid."

Jess ran the rest of the way and right into Abbie's arms. The A.D.A. wrapped her arms around the girl and kissed the top of her head. "How you doin', child?"

"I'm good." She looked up at the very tall dark haired woman. "Why do you live so far away?"

Abbie pursed her lips. "Cost of doing business, I'm afraid."

"I miss you…we miss you." Jess hadn't meant to pour out this much emotion but she did miss her Aunt.

She put her hand up to Jess's face and took her cheek in her hand. "I know you do. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so cavalier. I miss you, too. My job is in D.C., though, I can't help that." She sighed. "I have an idea. Why don't you come to Washington this summer once you're done school? You can come for a few days and I'll show you around town."

This put a huge grin on Jess's face. "Really?"

Abbie nodded. "Yes, really."

"Sweet! Come on, it's cold out here. I have a fire going at home."

"Okay, lead the way." It amazed Abbie how quickly Jess could swing from one emotion to another. She didn't have any children of her own but she assumed this was somewhat normal behavior in teenagers.

Olivia could hear the pair from the moment they stepped off the elevator. She opened the door in time to see them coming down the hall. "'Livia Benson, how the hell are you?"

"I'm great," the detective said as she threw her arms around the taller woman. "How are you?"

"Glad to be here."

They walked into the condo. Abbie set her bag on the floor just inside the door as the three women headed to the living room. They flopped down on the couch and starting talking. About ten minutes into the conversation Jess looked at Abbie. "Can we open presents now?"

Abbie looked at her. "Absolutely not. We are going to wait for your other Mama before we do any such thing."

The casual use of the term for Alex didn't go unnoticed by the women on either side of Abbie; in fact they both smiled. There was something about the no-nonsense Texan that Olivia, Alex and Jess loved. Alex had taken over for Abbie as SVU's A.D.A. over a decade ago. The trio had been friends ever since. When Abbie had met Jess about six months ago the pair had become friends quite quickly. The teen had watched the dark-haired beauty interact with her quasi mothers as well as the guys at the squad room. It had taken three days but Jess was convinced Abbie Carmichael was someone she could trust and needed to get to know. She had referred to Olivia and Alex as Jess's Mamas for about the last three months. The A.D.A. and detective hadn't corrected her and the teen had grinned at the use of the term. Abbie had been the only person with enough balls to call a spade a spade.

Alex walked into the condo and smiled at the sight of the three women on the couch. "Abbie Carmichel…as I live and breathe."

The dark-haired A.D.A. stood and walked over to the blonde one. They threw their arms around each other. After the hug Abbie held Alex at arm's length. "How are you, Blondie?"

"I'm well." Alex grinned at the use of Abbie's nickname for her. She looked beyond the slightly taller woman to the two still sitting on the couch. "What smells so good?"

Jess smiled. "Rosemary, garlic and pancetta topped turkey stuffed with Italian stuffing."

Alex's grin got wider as she pointed to her. "That's it!"

Alex followed Abbie into the living room and they opened presents. True to her word Abbie gave Jess a card with a woman's name on it. The tiny brunette looked up at her Aunt. "What is this?"

The Texan smiled. "Cynthia is a vocal coach. The record label she works for is written at the top of the card."

A small grin played across Jess's lips. "I know that WKA Inc. is a record label. What I don't understand is why you're giving me Cynthia Kingston's card. She's not just a vocal coach; she's one of the top names there."

"You've done your homework." Abbie raised her brow.

Jess shrugged. "I try to know a little about a lot of things. The music industry is one of those things." She held the card up. "Why am I holding her card?"

"Cynthia is your new vocal coach."

The teen spoke to Abbie but cut her eyes to Olivia. "_What_ would make you think this is something I'd be interested in pursuing?"

Abbie knew that her niece wasn't ungrateful. The fact that she knew exactly who Cynthia was convinced her Jess felt just the opposite. The tone, as well as the look, was all directed to the detective in the room.

"Well, it's more of a_ who_ than a what."

Jess shook her head. "You told her, didn't you?"

Olivia nodded slightly. "Jess, you can sing. I mean it, you really can. You enjoy it as well. I thought that if you had a coach you'd become more confident. So yes…I told Abbie."

The teen chuckled and grinned slightly as she looked back at her Aunt.

"It's not that I don't appreciated this." Jess held the card in one hand and tapped it against the other. "I just…I feel like I'd be wasting Ms. Kingston's time. She's like one of the best in the business and I've never had a lesson in my life."

Abbie smiled genuinely at her niece. "I'll make you a deal. If you go and see Cynthia five times and you still feel like you're wasting her time, then you don't have to go back."

"You won't be upset?"

"Not at all." Abbie shook her head. "But I will be if you chicken out and don't go at all."

Jess grinned and crawled over to her Aunt. They hugged and Olivia smiled. "You still mad at me?"

The kid started to giggle. She broke her hug with Abbie and turned to the detective. "No, just kindda embarrassed."

It was nearing 6PM when Jess and Olivia finally changed into the outfits they were going to wear that evening. It wasn't anything special but it was a far cry from the sweats and tank top the tiny brunette had been wearing most of the day. The last people to arrive were John Munch and his date. She was a tall thin redhead, maybe five years younger than him, named Janet. She hugged Olivia and Alex when she met them, which was pretty much the polar opposite of what Munch would have done if the roles had been reversed.

Another notable entrance was Jaylen. Neither woman had met her either. She came bearing a bottle of white wine for Alex and a box of Captain Crunch for Olivia. The detective smiled at the box as she took it from the young woman. "I love it. Thanks, Jaylen."

She smiled "Well, I eat yours sometimes when I'm here. I figured I probably owed you at least a box by now."

Alex cracked a smile. "Please tell me that's not why you gave me the wine."

Jaylen laughed. "No, I was told you would like that bottle. I had my dad pick it up for me."

Dinner was served around 6:30PM to a hungry group which included Olivia, Alex, Jess, Richard, Jaylen, Tony, Ken Randle, Abbie, Elliot, Kathy, Fin, Don Cragen, Casey, John Munch and his date Janet. It was the second quietest part of the evening. After dinner but before dessert Abbie and Casey started talking. "I'm hoping Liv won't mind but I've gotta ditch her for an hour tomorrow to look at a property."

"Abbie, are you moving back?" Casey asked with a small grin on her face.

"Sadly no," she said shaking her head. "I am looking at commercial real estate tomorrow."

Casey looked puzzled. "Commercial real-estate? Why?"

"I'm looking into opening a bar here in New York."

"Seriously?" Casey smiled. "Abs, that's amazing!"

Munch turned and looked at the pair. "Abbie, I couldn't help but overhear you're looking to open a bar."

Both women started to laugh. "Subtle, John," Abbie said. "But, yes, I am looking at a property tomorrow. I am also going to hire a manager, closer to the opening, to run the place. I can't be here to oversee the day-to-day stuff. I need someone I can trust. Once I find a location and get the construction started, I'll be looking for a manager."

"Look no further," he said as he looked over his glasses at her and pointed to himself. "I'm your manager."

Casey laughed harder. "Good one, John."

"No, seriously. I've been trying to convince the guys in the squad that we should open a bar for years. I had one in Baltimore when I lived there."

Abbie stopped laughing but continued to smile. "Did you really?"

"Yes; ask Janet."

Both women stopped laughing as Munch called across the room. "Janet, didn't I own a bar in Baltimore?"

The redhead smiled. "Yeah, you did. The Waterfront…great place."

This became the quietest part of the evening. The whole room fell silent. There was no way to tell if it was the acknowledgment of the fact that Janet knew about the bar in Baltimore, which would have been over thirteen years earlier or the fact that she had clearly been there; regardless it plunged the room into silence. Most of the people in the room had known John Munch over thirteen years and hadn't known him in Baltimore. If nothing else, Janet intrigued those who knew Munch.

After about ten seconds the shock wore off and people started talking again. Abbie looked at Munch. "You're serious about this?"

"Absolutely."

"Think you can skip out tomorrow around 1PM? I'm meeting a realtor at the location then. I'd like your opinion."

"I'll be there. Just tell me where and I'll be there."

The dark-haired beauty smiled. "I'll see you then."

A while later Abbie walked up to Alex, Olivia, Casey, Jess and Kathy who were standing together talking. Alex looked at Kathy. "So, you up for a girls' poker night?"

Kathy smiled. "Really?"

Abbie nodded. "Complete with Del Mio Tequila for every round you lose."

"Are you kidding me?" Kathy laughed.

"That's how we roll." Abbie said a full-on smile graced her lips now as she addressed the woman to her left.

"Correction…that's how we used to roll." Olivia grinned.

Casey started to laugh. "It's true. I haven't drank like this in years."

"I don't get it. I leave New York for a few years and my friends become light-weights." Abbie said shaking her head.

"I'll be there." Kathy said.

"Can I play?" Jess asked

"You better ask your Mamas'," Abbie said.

Alex and Olivia met each other's gaze and then looked at their daughter.

"Well…can I?" The teen asked.

Both women nodded.

"Sweeet!"

Kathy's eyes widened and her mouth dropped at the mention of that term to describe Olivia and Alex. Olivia brushed against her partner's wife's shoulder and nodded to the kitchen. Kathy followed her into the other room. "It's okay," Olivia began.

"Did…did you just hear what Abbie called you and Alex to Jess?" Kathy said in disbelief.

The detective put her hands up, palms out. "Yes, I did."

"And you're okay with it?" Kathy's brow furred.

"Yes," Olivia said in a calm tone.

Kathy put her hands on her hips. "What does Jess think?"

Olivia sighed. "She hasn't said anything. She smiles a little when Abbie uses the term."

"Look, I appreciate that you and Alex are raising Jess. I know you love her as your own and she loves you both…but she had a mother," Kathy said barely able to look Olivia in the eyes.

"I know," the detective said in a quite tone to prove she really did get what Kathy was saying. "Alex knows as well. We referred to Jess as our daughter once and apologized immediately afterwards. She said she liked it though. So sometimes we say that to her. When Abbie used that term the first time, Alex and I were about to argue with her about it but then we both looked at Jess. She was smiling. She looked at us and nodded." Olivia shrugged. "She has never said anything about the use of the term, but I'm pretty sure she is okay with it."

Kathy bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Liv. I shouldn't have even said anything."

Olivia shook her head. "You have every right to be concerned. I know you care about Jess as if she was your own. Alex and I are new to this parenting gig. We don't always know what's right and wrong. We try to let Jess set the tone for family dynamic. One thing is for sure, we never would have let something that made her uncomfortable continue, no matter who said it. We do love Jess like our own, Kathy, because she is ours. She is our only child; she's the only one we will ever have. We are not trying to take the place of her birth mother. That said, I _will_ be her adopted mother come January. There is nothing Alex or I wouldn't do for our daughter."

There was part of Kathy that was truly mortified for having even started this conversation. "You're right, Liv. I'm so sorry for having brought this up. You have always been the most sensitive to Jess's needs and feelings. I should have known better."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. You and El care deeply for Jess and I really appreciate that. I don't know how I would have been able to keep her this long without you both." Olivia put her left hand on Kathy's shoulder. "You always have her very best interest at heart, Kath, and I couldn't ask for a better person to watch over my daughter than you."

The pair hugged. A tear rolled down Jess's cheek as she leaned her forehead against the wall of the hall just outside the kitchen. She had heard most of the conversation. She had never heard Olivia talk about her and Alex that way. Nor had she ever heard the conviction in the detective's voice when talking about becoming her adopted mother. Not a day went by Jess didn't think about her mother, Katharine. She also thought, everyday, about how lucky she was to have two women who loved her as much as Olivia and Alex did. The tiny brunette had never realized it until the detective had verbalized it moments earlier. She really was their only child. It made Jess feel special, more special than she had felt in a very long time. When she heard Olivia and Kathy coming out of the kitchen, Jess turned and walked quickly down the hall and slipped into the living room.

Olivia and Alex mingled with everyone and had a lot of laughs. They paid particular attention to Jaylen and Jess. The pair got along incredibly well. The young woman was about 5'7, with a thin build, almost white blonde hair and a fair complexion. She seemed to get along really well with Richard as well. It led both women to believe that the trio had spent time together.

As the evening drew to a close people had to get going. Kathy, Elliot and Richard were the last three to leave. The four women who were left cleaned up and found themselves on the couch talking for another 45 minutes. Jess stood up. "I'm making popcorn. What movie are we watching?"

Alex looked at her watch. "It's 11:45, Kid. I gotta go to bed."

The detective grinned slightly, remembering the promise she had made earlier that day. "Yeah, Jessie, I'm sorry but I'm exhausted."

The teen looked from them to Abbie. The Texan grinned. "I'm up for a movie. Make the popcorn."

"Yeeeessss…sweet. Night Livie, night Ally." Jess smiled.

The pair looked at each other. "I think we're been replaced." Olivia said sporting her trademark crooked grin.

"It's a definite possibility," Alex agreed.

They stood and said goodnight to Abbie, who stood and looked at them. "I'll let you two off the hook tonight because you put on such a good party. Tomorrow night though, it's poker night."

"Uhhhhh…Abs, did you really bring the tequila?" Olivia asked with a grin on her face.

"Yes, I did. This poker night is happening. Just like the good 'ol days."

"Abs, that was ten years ago. I don't know that I can drink like that anymore." Alex smiled but her tone was whiney.

Abbie's expression became serious. "You better find it in yourself to drink that much again, Blondie. I don't care how far down you have to reach."

Jess let out a guffaw from the kitchen. "I can't wait to see this."

Alex was in the bathroom when Olivia finally ended up in their bedroom. The detective undressed and waited just outside the bathroom door. Alex came out within thirty seconds of Olivia standing there. As the A.D.A. walked into the bedroom the brunette grabbed her around the waist and pushed her onto the bed.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Alex screamed with laughter as she was tackled onto the Egyptian cotton sheets.

"Hahahahaha…you're sooooo easy" Olivia giggled as she wrestled with her, trying to get on top of her.

"You think so, huh?" Alex grabbed Olivia's forearms with her hands and pushed them away from her. She slid her legs against Olivia's in the opposite direction, causing the detective to lose her balance. With that the blonde was able to push herself up and come face-to-face with her girlfriend for a split second. "You're going down, Detective." She grinned as she pushed Olivia over.

"No, no, nooooo…" The brunette laughed as she fell onto the bed.

Alex straddled Olivia's thighs and looked down at her. "Now, Detective, who's sooooo easy?" She had a shit-eating grin on her face as she spoke.

"Look at you, so proud of yourself." Olivia smiled as she said it.

The blonde lowered her body and nipped at the older woman's breast. This garnered a sharp intake of air from Olivia. She looked up into the brown eyes of her girlfriend as she let the nipple drop from her mouth. "Like I said, who's sooooo easy now?"

"Uhhh…I am. Do that again." Olivia pleaded.

"Hahahahaha…I don't think so. Turn over for me."

Alex let some of her weight off the detective and Olivia rolled onto her stomach. The A.D.A. took a selfish moment to admire the curve of her back and the swell of her hips. Olivia was at the mercy of the blonde. "What are you doing back there, Counselor?"

"Just admiring the view." Alex's hands began mapping what she saw, brushing lightly over the smooth, satiny olive-coloured skin before her and following the path of her hands with open-mouthed, wet kisses. Spreading Olivia's thighs Alex moved to kneel between them. Sliding her hands under the detective's torso Alex helped her to her knees. Grasping Olivia's hands the younger woman moved them up to cup her own breasts.

"Mmm, that's it baby," Alex cooed in her ear, moving her hair to the side and licking and sucking the long line of her neck. She peered over Olivia's shoulder and watched as she squeezed and pinched her own nipple. The sight caused her to shudder and become impossibly more aroused. The A.D.A. slid her hands slowly down the front of Olivia's body, coming to a stop between her legs. Her right hand moved lower to slide through the brunette's wetness and further down to tease at her opening. Alex's left hand moved to position two fingers directly over her girlfriend's clit.

The incredible amount of stimulation to her breasts and clit coupled with the fingers teasing at her opening were driving Olivia insane. "Al…feels so good, so good. Mmmm…I need you… inside me. Please," She moaned.

Raising herself up over her girlfriend's back Alex moved to straddle Olivia's left thigh and began to thrust against her. Covering the detective's body with her own Alex nipped at the back of Olivia's neck and breathed into her ear. "Liv…hmm… so gooood." Reaching around the blonde tweaked and tugged at Olivia's nipples while her right hand slid slowly over the smooth planes of her backside, down her right thigh and then up, slowly up the inside of her thigh. Wetness coated Alex's finger well before she reached her destination.

The feel of her partner's fingers so close to where she needed them, the feel of her wetness brushing against her thigh, the feel of Alex's clit thrusting against her and the fingers expertly twisting and tweaking her nipples was sending Olivia into overload. Unable to form words but needing desperately to feel the blonde inside her the detective began to moan and whimper as she pushed back against Alex.

"Unnnnnnn"

The feel of Olivia's hips rolling beneath her, the sounds she was making produced a new flood of wetness from Alex. Adding her voice to the urgent moaning the A.D.A. slid two fingers slowly into her detective's sex. "Mmm, you're so wet for me."

With her trembling arms barely able to support her, Olivia gasped as she felt the blonde's fingers slide slowly into her. Her hips began to thrust trying, unsuccessfully, to pick up the pace, but Alex was having none of that. "Unnnnnn…God please Al, please… please… please…" Olivia half whined-half begged.

"Ummmm, what is it baby, what do you want? Tell me." Alex moaned as she felt herself closing in on an orgasm. She fought to contain it until her detective reached her peak. The earlier pleas were met with an increase in pace, a fact that Olivia clearly appreciated.

"Yeeeees, Al, oooooh that's it… that'sssss it. Ahhhhh." Olivia clenched her fists in the sheets as she pushed back against the A.D.A.'s fingers. "Oh, God, sooooo clllllose."

"Mmm, I can feel how close you are. I can feel you tightening around my fingers. It feels so good, Liv." Alex began to thrust more urgently against Olivia's thigh. "Can you feel how weeeet you're making me, hmm? Can you feel how _hard_ I am?"

"Yessss, I can… feel… Oh, Alexxxxxx"

"That'ssss it, come for meee…"

Orgasm washed over and through each woman. Thrusts slowed, fingers remained buried in wet heat, ragged breathing began to calm. Alex lowered Olivia to her stomach and covered her back with her body.

"Umm, I can't move… I'm not crushing you, am I?"

"No, you feel wonderful, I feel wonderful, _you_ made me feel wonderful…" Olivia giggled as she felt Alex's smile against her back. "I can _feel_ you smiling… are you happy with yourself, Counselor?"

The shit-eating grin was back from minutes earlier. "Happy, doesn't quite cut it. Ecstatic, overjoyed and elated are a few of the things I'm feeling." The detective's giggling increased with each word. Alex rolled off her girlfriend's back so she could see her face. The trademark crooked smile was etched across her beautiful lips. "God, you are gorgeous. You mean everything to me. You have no reason to trust me but I want you to know that I will never hurt you again. You are the more intelligent and beautiful person I have ever known."

Laughter quickly died down upon hearing the younger woman's words. Olivia always had a good body image and never needed reassurances; but those words, those words meant so much to her. And more than that, she really and truly, right at that moment, felt absolutely gorgeous. "You make me feel that way." It was uttered in a whisper. "It's going to take time and understanding to get to where I think we both want to go."

Alex smiled at her. "I love you, Olivia. I'm going to prove that to you."

"I love you, Alexandra. I am starting to believe you. It's going to take time to trust you again. My heart and mind aren't there yet."

"I understand. I'm not expecting you to be able to trust me again until I can prove to you over time that I will never hurt you again. I'm amazed you can find it in yourself to give me the chance."

The pair kissed. It was soft and sweet, as if somehow solidifying their future together. It was unequivocally the beginning of what they were determined to be a life-long relationship.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Twelve: Deny Thy Father and Refuse Thy Name

Thursday December 27th, 08:45

Jess woke on her own. It was the second time in three days she remembered doing this. She got out of bed, went to the bathroom and then headed for the kitchen. The teen wasn't shocked to find Olivia and her Aunt Abbie sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. She smiled at both of them as she walked in and over to the cupboard to retrieve a mug. "Morning ladies."

"Morning, Kid." Olivia smiled.

"Morning, Jess." Abbie watched as the tiny brunette did her morning routine.

"What's on the docket today?" Jess asked over her shoulder as she opened the refrigerator and grabbed a jug of chocolate milk.

The use of the word docket to describe what order they were doing things that day made Abbie smile. It was _so_ Alex. "The only thing on my docket before dinner is meeting Munch at the squad room around 12:30PM. We are heading over to the potential space for the bar."

Jess poured the dark milk into the mug, put the jug back in the fridge and started to pull out other items from the fridge. "Can I come?" she asked again over her shoulder.

"To the squad or the space?" Abbie asked, still watching, with a grin on her face.

The teen finally turned and met her gaze. Jess had collected everything she needed to make breakfast. She shrugged. "Either?"

Abbie's right brow rose. "Ask your Mama."

Jess glanced at Olivia who had been watching Abbie watching Jess. The detective met the sparkling green eyes. "We'll _all_ go to the squad. If Abbie and Munch let you go to the bar with them, it's fine with me."

"Sweeet!" Jess looked back at her Aunt with a satisfied look on her face. "How do you like your eggs?"

The A.D.A. was surprised Olivia had been so laissez-fare about letting Jess go to the station house. It really wasn't a place for kids. She looked hard at the detective as she spoke to her niece. "Scrambled."

Olivia met her glare. "What?"

"You're really gonna let her hang out at the squad that easily?"

"It's not normally that easy," Jess answered before Olivia had a chance. "_She_ wants to go to the station house to get an update on a case. _She_ also knows that I will wanna go with you and Munch to see the bar and she knows you'll both let me come with you. So you see, while it looks like she's letting _me_ get _my_ way, which I sort of am, _she_ is getting her way _more_."

The smirk on her niece's face said it all. Abbie knew at that moment Jess _had_ Olivia's number. It surprised the dark-haired Texan just how much the hair colour changed Jess's appearance. She looked remarkably like Olivia. Their complexions and heights were much different but the hair colour, smart-ass mouth and general attitude were identical.

"You've been spending too much time with Dr. Hendrix," Olivia said in a sarcastic tone as she narrowed her eyes across the kitchen at her daughter.

"Some might argue I've been spending too much time with Ally," Jess countered.

Abbie burst out laughing. "She's got ya there, Liv. That was a perfect retort."

"Uhhh…" Olivia said with a smirk on her face. "Out-lawyered by a 16 year-old."

She may look more like the detective now but Abbie was convinced that Jess's ability to talk her way out of any situation was a direct result of Alex's influence. It made the A.D.A. smile at how much of an effect her friends were having on the teenager they were raising.

Manhattan SVU Squad Room

Thursday December 27th, 12:25

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be on vacation?" Fin said as he watched Olivia come through the squad room doors.

"Well, we were in the neighborhood and thought we'd drop by," the detective answered as her cohorts followed her.

"Uh-huh…a likely story," Elliot said smiling at the three women now standing before the three men in the room.

"Well, I'm here to pick John up," Abbie said with a slight grin.

"I'm here because I'm going with Munch and Abbie to the bar." Jess also had a faint smile on her face as the room fell silent.

All eyes were on Olivia. "What?"

"What is your business here, today?" Elliot asked his partner as he leaned back slightly in his chair.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I work here."

Munch looked between Abbie and Jess as he stood. "Well, we should get going."

"Sure," Abbie said.

"Totally," Jess agreed in a hurried tone. It was clear that the discussion was about to get a little heated between the partners.

"Tell Cragen I'm running down a lead," Munch said to Fin as he put on his jacket.

"If I tell him that, you actually have to come up with a lead," Fin replied with a smirk on his face.

Munch looked over his glasses at this partner. "Fine…tell him…whatever, make something up."

"You got it," Fin said as he sat down at this desk.

"You just couldn't stay away, could you?" Elliot noted to Olivia as the trio left the squad room.

"I don't need an excuse to come down here; I work here, I'm a part of this case." Olivia countered.

Fin wished he had gone to look at the bar.

"Liv, you've been off a grand total of three days and you managed to call in here yesterday and you're sitting at your desk today."

"What's your point?" she asked as she scowled at him from across her desk.

"Well, if you're gonna be here can I have your days off?"

"You have a lotta nerve riding me about…"

Cragen's office door opened. "Whatta we got on the new case?" He walked out of his office followed by Alex. If she had been surprised to see her girlfriend in the squad room Alex kept it to herself.

"Victim's name is Josh Larsson, 35 and he was an investment banker," Olivia answered without skipping a beat.

"We initially wondered if he was gay, due to the homosexual undertones at the scene," Elliot said.

"Lots of straight men live in the Village, Elliot," Alex said matter-of-factly.

"Well, how many of them have a tube of lubricant shoved up their rectums?" he asked the A.D.A. matter-of-factly as he lifted the Medical Examiner's report he was reading from his desk.

The blonde raised her brow. "Go on."

"When we spoke to his family, they never mentioned him being gay. In fact, they said he had talked about a couple of women since he moved here eight years ago." Olivia rifled through her note pad that she had taken out of her desk. "A Liz Blair, Carman Vali and Sherryl King. His parents claim Vali was his business partner. They gave me a name...Capital Industries. I ran it and no such business is registered in the State of New York."

Cragen looked around the room. "What do we know about the women in Mr. Larsson's life?"

"Munch and I tracked down addresses for Elizabeth Blair and Sherryl King yesterday. We spoke to Blair first. She admitted to dating our Vic about four years ago. She said it ended when she caught him lying about his money," Fin said looking at his notes.

"What kind of lie?" Alex asked.

"Apparently he always claimed to have money but said it was tied up in investments. He asked her to pay for all kinds of things for him and told her he'd pay her back once he cashed in on the investment."

"Let me guess. That day never came?" Cragen said with a raised brow.

Fin shook his head. "Nope. She got tired of waiting and left him."

"Sherryl King?" The Captain asked.

"We tracked her down this morning. She gave us the same story as Blair, except she dated our Vic six years ago."

Cragen was more intrigued. "What did you find on Carman Vali?"

"Not much," Elliot answered. "I've been trying to get something on her for a couple of days. No driver's license, property or social security number in her name."

"Did the family give you the order in which Larsson met these women?" Cragen asked with a furrowed brow.

Olivia looked at him. "King, then Blair, then Vali. Their timeline matches King's and Blair's."

"So…what are we thinking? He did the same thing to Carman Vali but she instead of dumping him, she killed him?" Cragen asked.

"That's the theory, Cap," Fin answered. "We won't know for sure until we get a line on Vali."

"Josh Larsson was 6'3", 225 pounds. How does someone force a tube of lubricant up his rectum and strangle him?" Alex asked.

"Warner found Flunitrazepam in his system." Elliot again looked up from the M.E.'s report on his desk.

Cragen spoke to no one inparticular. "So it's possible she slipped him Rohypnol at some point during the evening and once it took effect…"

"He would have been rendered powerless," Alex finished.

"It would explain why there were no defensive wounds," Fin suggested.

"We need to find Carman Vali." Cragen looked around.

"Yes, Sir," the three detectives said.

"Olivia, I thought you were on vacation?" Cragen said as if it had just dawned on him.

"Just thought I'd come in and help out," she said, trying to ignore the look the very tall blonde standing beside her Captain was shooting her.

"I think the guys can handle it for today. Go home." He turned and walked back to his office but stopped half way. He turned back to his detectives. "Where's Munch?"

"Dentist," Olivia said.

"Doctor," Elliot said.

"Optometrist," Fin said.

The three detectives looked at each other.

"Uh-huh," Cragen said in disbelief. "Well, when his teeth are cleaned, he's had his flu shot and his glasses have come in, why don't you two go down to One P.P. and see if Latent's come back with any fingerprints from our Vic's apartment. Also, head to the lab and figure out what is taking so long for the report on the cord that was used to kill him."

"Will do, Cap," Fin replied and became very interested in a report on his desk. Cragen turned and went back into his office.

Alex walked over to Olivia. "Where's Jess?"

The detective smiled at her girlfriend. "She's with Abbie and Munch at the bar."

"That's quite a life our daughter leads."

910 8th Avenue, Manhattan

Thursday December 27th, 13:05

"Well, what do you think, John?"

"I think it's a great location, Abbie. It's a big space. I can see it now…jukebox over in that corner. The bar will be right here." He spread his arms out as if drawing her a picture of what he saw in his mind. "Darts over there." The detective pointed to a wall.

"I'm not looking to open a hole-in-the-wall-after-hours cop bar, John. I want a stage over there." She pointed to a large space across from where Munch had visualized the bar. "I want there to be a house band that plays every night. I want this place to be classy but not too upscale."

"I can handle that," Munch said

"Are you sure? It's not exactly The Waterfront."

"All I've wanted since I came to New York was a bar. Let me kick in some money for this place and I'll run it. Come on, Carmichael."

Abbie smiled. "Alright, 80/20?" she extended her hand.

"Done." Munch extended his hand and they shook on it. They looked around the place. "You really think this place is ready for a band?"

She shrugged. "It needs some work but I think the acoustics are perfect."

Jess had the ear buds for her iPhone in her ears as she looked around the bar. It was a shell of an establishment right now, but she could see the potential. Munch and Abbie had business to discuss plus the realtor who had met them out front of the building was still milling around. While Jess had followed them, she had gone her separate way once inside. She ended up the largest room, at one end. The volume on the song was jacked up pretty high. The teen forgot for a moment that there were other people in the building. She had been singing softly to herself for the last three songs. She really liked the new song from Pink that was playing, so much so that she bleated out part of it:

"So raise your glass if you are wrong,  
In all the right ways,  
All my underdogs,  
We will never be never be anything but loud  
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks  
Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,  
Just come on and come on and raise your glass"

Munch, Abbie and their realtor all stood in disbelief as the teen sang, in perfect pitch. "I can see a house band there," John said.

Friday December 28th, 07:31

Jess started the coffee right after she helped herself to a mug of chocolate milk. She had slept off and on all night but had eventually given up an hour earlier. She had bounced from texting Richard and Ken to reading. When she couldn't stand it any longer she made her way out to the kitchen. Kathy and Casey were sleeping on the couch, Abbie had made it to the spare bedroom and Olivia and Alex were in their room. Her quasi mothers had asked her if she was sure she wanted to have the poker night the night before Brian Nudds sentencing hearing. Jess had said it would be a good distraction and it had been. The teen had loved every assorted story, every shot and every hand dealt. Most of all she loved that for a few hours she had been given the gift of senility and forgotten about what the morning would bring. Jess stood in the kitchen with her hands around the mug wondering just how the day would turn out.

One by one the women around the condo woke to the aroma of coffee. They were all hung-over, some more than others. Kathy was the only one who wasn't going to the courthouse that morning to observe the hearing. Jess hadn't asked her to be there and she hadn't asked if she could be; she didn't think it was her place. Kathy left after breakfast. Everyone else showered and got ready for the day. Alex drove her SUV down to the court with Olivia and Jess inside. Elliot had rolled up in a Crown Vic to drive Abbie and Casey to the courthouse.

**Supreme Courthouse**

**60 Center Street, Manhattan**

Friday December 28th, 9:01

In the courtroom that morning was Shelley Carver's and Terrence Cozier's families. They sat behind Jess, Olivia, Abbie, Casey, Elliot, Tony and Ken who were sitting directly behind Alex and Jim Steele at the prosecution table. Richard and Jess had talked about him coming but she asked him not to. She told him to go to work and she would call him later that day, when she was ready. It took everything the young man had inside not to fight his girlfriend on that point or to show up anyway. He respected her and her decision so he went to work.

After calling the court to order, Judge Donnelly asked the prosecution if there were any witness impact statements. Alex nodded. "Shelley Carver's sister and Terrence Cozier's mother would like to speak. After them, Jessica O'Malley would like to address the court."

The Judge nodded and both Shelley's sister and Terrence's mother were heard. They spoke of their sister and son, respectively. The productive lives they had led and how they were cut too short on account of Brian Nudds. They explained how badly they were missed and how innocent they were in the terrible crimes Nudds had committed. Once they were done it was Jess's turn.

When Alex had asked Jess if she wanted to speak at the sentencing hearing, she had said yes. It was the last time she would get to explain what her father had taken from her and it would be on her terms, in her own words.

"Brian Nudds is my father, by blood. While he never had a hand in raising me, he did manage to steal a good portion of my childhood and innocence in one night. I, too, was an innocent victim of his terrible crimes on May 14th. That diner wasn't just where I worked. It was also my home; it's where I grew up. In a few agonizing minutes he turned my home into a prison. He turned all my wonderful memories into nightmares. He humiliated me, degraded me, licked me, touched me and tried to get inside me. That is the pain I have to live with everyday. More horrifying than that, I have his blood running though my veins. That is the nightmare Brian Nudds has left me living, every day since he sexually assaulted me and murdered my two friends."

Jess stepped back from the microphone and turned to sit back down. Standing at the back of the courtroom were Fin, Munch and Cragen. She nodded slightly to them as a way of acknowledging them. There was part of her that was comforted by their presence.

Judge Donnelly was silent until Jess had sat down; she hadn't taken her eyes off the teenager. When the young woman looked up at her the Judge addressed her. "Ms. O'Malley, I can only imagine the strength it must have taken for you to speak today. I admire your strength and courage for facing your fears." She turned slightly and addressed the entire courtroom. "Brian Nudds stand up."

He stood, along with his lawyer. The Judge continued looking only at him. "You have been found guilty of sexual assault of a minor in the first degree and two counts of murder in the first degree. I am sentencing you to ten years on the sexual assault of Jessica O'Malley and life without parole for the first degree murders of Shelley Carver and Terrence Cozier."

"NO! NO, NO, NO!" Nudds screamed. He turned and pointed to Jess. "You little BITCH! You did this to me!"

The sheer volume of the outburst made Jess jump. She met the crazy eyes of her attacker; she had seen this sight before…in the diner seconds before he went after her.

Donnelly slammed her gavel down. "Mr. Nudds sit down! Mr. Thomas control your client!"

"You're MINE, do you hear me, _Jessica_! You'll always be MINE!" Nudds screamed at her.

Jess felt hot and light-headed. She could hear every word her father was saying. She would never be rid of him. She felt bile building in the back of her throat. She felt _Him_ behind her. The room began to spin. She felt _his_ hot breath on the back of her neck. "_I'm going to teach you, Jessica_." Her eyelids fluttered as her breathing became labored. The last thing she saw was Olivia's deep brown eyes. "Help…me…." was the only thing she got out before blackness took over.

"Bailiffs, get him out of here!" Judge Donnelly yelled as she stood. Three bailiffs surrounded Brian Nudds and dragged him kicking and screaming out of the courtroom.

As Jess fell forward Olivia caught her. Elliot, who was sitting on the other side of Jess, helped Olivia lie her down in the walkway separating the prosecution and defense sides of the observation area. The teen convulsed twice and then threw up. Elliot and Olivia turned her on her side quickly so she didn't aspirate. "We need a doctor, get a bus here!" Elliot yelled.

Judge Donnelly looked at her assistant. "Call the medics!" She looked towards the court. "Clear the courtroom, I want everyone out!" More bailiffs and police officers arrived. They escorted the press as well as the families of the victims out of the courtroom. The only people they allowed to stay were the ones Olivia said could stay. Alex had rushed to Olivia's side and was holding her daughter's hair away from her face. "Wake up, Jessie," the detective begged over and over as she held her hand on her daughter's cheek.

EMTs arrived within two minutes of Jess collapsing. Everyone gave them space, including Alex and Olivia. They worked on the teen, hooking her up to a few monitors as well as oxygen. They pushed something in her mouth so that if she convulsed again she wouldn't swallow her tongue. They stuck a needle into a vein in her left wrist and gave her fluids from a clear bag. The medics rolled Jess onto a backboard and then lifted the young woman onto a stretcher. They strapped her onto the stretcher and finally looked at Olivia. "Ma'am we're taking her to Mercy General."

"I'm going with you," the detective insisted.

The paramedics looked at each other and were about to protest when Elliot beat them to it. "She's not going to take no for an answer."

"Fine, let's go," the older one said as they started to roll Jess out of the room.

Elliot looked at Alex. "I'll take you." He looked at his Captain. "You got a car out front?"

Cragen nodded as he handed Elliot the keys. "Go. We'll be right behind you."

Mercy General Hospital

365 West 32nd Street

Friday December 28th, 10:11

The EMT's had wheeled Jess into a room in the ER and taken her off the stretcher and placed her on the gurney that was already in the room with the assistance of hospital staff. The medics gave the doctor and nurses the history and Jess's vitals before leaving the room. As the staff started to work on the teen one of the nurses looked at Olivia. "Are you her mother?"

"Yes," The detective answered without hesitation.

"Is your daughter allergic to anything? Any types of medication?"

Olivia shook her head. "No."

"Is she on any medication?"

"No."

"Did she hit her head after losing consciousness?"

"Uh…no I caught her."

"Has she ever fainted before?"

"Not that I know of."

"Has she ever had a concussion or any type of head injury?"

"No…not that I know of. What's wrong with her? Why isn't she waking up?" Olivia asked as panic started to set in.

"We're not sure, Ms…?"

"Benson…Olivia Benson."

The doctor nodded.

"We are going to run some more tests to find out what's wrong with your daughter, Ms. Benson. In the meantime, please wait outside the room."

"I'm not leaving her."

The doctor looked at one of the nurses and she looked back at him. Olivia recognized this look; it usually came from working together for a long time with someone. The nurse walked the four steps it took to be standing in front of Olivia. "Ms. Benson, please…wait outside the room so we can take care of your daughter."

Elliot burst into the room and saw Jess hooked up to even more monitors and tubes than he had seen in the courtroom.

"Do what you need to do…but I'm not leaving Jess."

The nurse put her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Ms. Benson, please. If you won't leave voluntarily we will have you removed."

"Get your hand off me! I will not leave my daughter."

The woman removed her hand and walked to a phone three feet away.

"Liv, come on outside the doors. Alex needs you." Elliot said calmly.

_Alex._ "Where is she?" Olivia said never taking her eyes off Jess.

"Just outside the doors…come on."

The partners backed out of the room and Olivia was in Alex's arms before the doors shut. "What's going on, what's wrong with Jess?" Alex cried.

"They don't know," Olivia said as she watched her little girl lying unconscious on the gurney.

Ten minutes later the medical team started to move the gurney. They wheeled it out of the room with her on it. The detectives, A., reporter and friends moved out of the way so they could get Jess out of the room. The doctor looked at Olivia. "Ms. Benson?"

"Where are you taking her?" Olivia asked wide eyed.

"We are taking her upstairs for a CT scan, just to be sure there is nothing going on in her brain that shouldn't be. I'm Dr. Walker, I'll be taking care of your daughter while she's here." He spoke calmly but quickly as he moved down the hall with Olivia and Alex in tow.

"Is there something wrong with her brain?" Alex asked.

From the way the pair had been holding hands the doctor assumed the blonde addressing him was Ms. Benson's other half. "It's too soon to say for sure. In my personal opinion, I don't think so, but sudden unconsciousness and vomiting can be signs of a neurological problem."

"Oh God…" Olivia said as her face turned pale and her jaw dropped.

"Ms. Benson…" he said trying to get her attention. "Ms. Benson…"

"Olivia," she said looked at the doctor. "Please call me Olivia."

Dr. Walker pursed his lips as he hit the up button for the elevator as he, the medical team, Olivia and Alex reached the bank of elevators. "Olivia and…" he looked at the tall blonde who hadn't let go of Olivia's hand.

"Alex," the A.D.A. said. "I'm Alex, Olivia's partner and Jess's…"

"Other mother," Olivia finished her sentence for her.

The doctor nodded. "Olivia and Alex, the CT scan is just a precaution. Jess is probably suffering from a violent case of shock. From the details the EMT's gave me, that fits with the symptoms she is exhibiting as well. Try not to worry while we are upstairs."

"We want to go with her," Alex said.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Dr. Walker looked at the two women. "You can't come up with us. I promise we will bring her back down to that room as soon as the CT scan is done."

The medical team rolled Jess into the elevator. Dr. Walker looked at the nurse who had spoken to Olivia in the exam room earlier. He nodded to her and she nodded back. She gave the final push to the gurney that made sure it was inside the elevator. The nurse leaned in and hit the number 7 and then stepped out of the elevator. She turned to Olivia and Alex as the doors closed with their daughter inside it.

"Dr. Walker is a wonderful doctor. I've worked with him for over ten years." The pair looked at her with tears in their eyes. The nurse's features softened slightly. "He saved my son two years ago when he was brought in from a car accident." She nodded at the sudden realization the two women had on their faces-they weren't alone. "He's an incredible doctor who will take good care of your daughter."

They nodded. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name?" Olivia said, now sorry she had defied the woman earlier in the exam room.

"Nadine," she said with a slight smile. "And don't worry about talkin' back to me in the room a few minutes ago. I did the same thing when it was my son."

Olivia nodded as a silent apology anyway.

"You have quiet a group with you today, ladies. Why don't we get you situated in the room while we wait for Jess to get back? There are also some forms we need you to fill out." Nadine started to lead them back down the hall to the entourage of people that had come in with them.

After having told everyone what was going on Olivia and Alex suggested they go back to their day. It would be a few hours before they knew anything more and there was no reason for everyone to stay. Elliot, Fin, Munch and Cragen went back to work only after having the pair promised to call when they knew anything about Jess's condition. Tony and Ken did the same after they were promised the same thing. Casey and Abbie stayed; no amount of promising was going to get them to go anywhere. The A.D.A cancelled her train ticket for Washington for later that day and called her office to postpone everything on her calendar for the next day. The reporter had taken the rest of the year off so she couldn't think of being anywhere else but where she was.

Olivia filled out the forms Nadine had brought her. All four women were in the room when Jess was wheeled back in, still unconscious. Nadine came in almost immediately and checked her chart. She flipped through the two pages and read out loud. "Her vitals' are good. They have given her medication to calm her stomach, which is why they took the tongue guard out." She looked at Olivia and Alex for the first time as she put the chart back in a slot at the foot of the bed. "The test results from CT won't be back for a few hours. Her heart is strong, her temperature is normal and her pulse is good."

"Why is she still so pale?" Olivia asked as she placed her hand on one of Jess's cheeks.

"From what you and Alex told me about her morning she was pretty stressed before she lost consciousness. Jess's body shut down quite suddenly; it's going to take some time for it to recover. We have fluids going into her to keep her hydrated. That and time is probably what will heal her body the most." She pursued her lips at Olivia and Alex. "That and her mothers' touch."

They nodded to her. "I'll leave you all now. I'm right down the hall if you need anything."

"Thanks, Nadine," Olivia said.

"Thanks so much," Alex echoed as she stood on the other side of Jess.

For a minute after Nadine closed the door behind herself the room was silent with the exception of the monitors hooked up to Jess. Alex shook her head. "I did this to her. I pushed her to testify; to speak today."

"Don't blame yourself. We all pushed Jess to testify. In the end, it was up to her and she did it. As for today, you asked if she wanted to speak and she said yes. She knew she didn't have to; she wanted to. This wasn't your fault," Olivia said as she looked at her girlfriend.

"She's 16 years old; she's a child. She shouldn't be running around a courthouse or a stationhouse for that matter," Alex said out of frustration and a need to blame.

"Oh so this is my fault?" Olivia said with wide eyes. "I don't let her run around the squad room. She does her homework there sometimes…"

"Oh please…you guys run your cases with her there all the time. She knows all the disgusting and depraved details of the cases you work," Alex spat back.

"You're one to talk! You let her read your cases all the time. You wanna talk about degenerate subject matter; take a look at what you invite into her world!" Olivia narrowed her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa…take it easy," Abbie said walking over to beside Alex.

"There is only one person to blame for today and that's Brian Nudds." Casey said taking her place beside Olivia. "If the two of you wanna lay blame somewhere lay it squarely at his doorstep."

"Case is right and you both know it," Abbie said. "Stop blaming yourselves and each other. You love Jess and nothing the two of you have done lead to her laying here today."

Alex sighed and closed her eyes momentarily. "You're both right." She opened them again and looked at her girlfriend. "I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault."

"It isn't yours either. I'm sorry I said that to you," Olivia said with tears in her eyes.

"She loves being at the squad room; she'd be there even if you told her to stay away. I just…I just can't believe how sick she looks," Alex said. Tears came as she looked down at the teen.

Olivia kissed Jess's forehead. "She's gonna be okay, Al. Like Nadine said, she just needs some time."

Alex sat on the left side of Jess and Olivia sat on the right. Casey and Abbie had gone out to get food. The only way they had been convinced to go was if they could bring food back for Olivia and Alex. The A.D.A. had dozed off momentarily with her head lying on the bed beside Jess's left leg. Olivia had Jess's right hand in hers as she kissed it and spoke softly. "Where are you, Sweetheart? Come back to me, Kid. I'm right here, Jessie…please…" Tears fell from the detective's eyes as she whispered the words.

(_You with the sad eyes  
Don't be discouraged  
Oh I realize  
It's hard to take courage  
In a world full of people  
You can lose sight of it all  
And the darkness inside you  
Can make you feel so small_

But I see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful,  
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,  
Don't be unhappy, can't remember  
When I last saw you laughing  
If this world makes you crazy  
And you've taken all you can bear  
You call me up  
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors  
Shining through  
I see your true colors  
And that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
Your true colors  
True colors are beautiful,  
Like a rainbow)

While Alex wasn't totally asleep, she knew Olivia needed to believe she was. Her detective seldom let her guard down when there were people around, even if it was just her. Alex knew if she pretended to be sleeping Olivia would let out what she had been keeping inside since the courthouse. When the older woman had finished the song she laid her head on the bed, next to Jess's right leg. She held the young woman's hand on her cheek with her own hand. Olivia stopped crying. She closed her eyes and listened to the machine monitoring Jess's heart. It was somewhat hypnotizing. Alex sat up slowly and stretched. She stood up slowly and walked around the bed and put her hand on Olivia's head. "I'm going to get some coffee, you want one?"

"Yes, please," the detective said not opening her eyes or moving.

Alex leaned down and kissed her girlfriend's head. "She's gonna be okay, Liv. I love you."

The detective started to cry. It was hard to know if it was Alex's kind words or just her closeness but it made Olivia's walls come crashing down despite her best efforts. Alex closed her arms around her detective and held her. "It's okay to cry, Liv. I know you're scared."

She couldn't say anything except, "I love you, Alex."

When the tears stopped Alex let go and looked down at her girlfriend. "I'm gonna get us some coffee and then I'll be back."

Olivia looked up slightly and grinned a little. "Please hurry."

Alex grinned back. "I will. Keep her company while I'm gone." She nodded towards Jess.

The brunette nodded. She watched the A.D.A. leave and laid her head back down on the bed, with Jess's right hand placed on her cheek. Olivia liked to have the teen's hand touching her; it made her feel as if Jess was awake and just lying there. The detective could almost feel her daughter's hand moving, her little fingers stirring.

Jess could hear voices but they seemed to be far away. No matter how hard she tried to move she couldn't get any closer to them. The teen recognized the voices and tried to answer, but she couldn't. She felt Olivia's lips on her hand; they had been soft and warm. Jess heard the detective's voice get closer as she spoke. She had heard these words before, that song before. The tiny brunette had felt Olivia's face under her hand. She heard Alex's voice and tried to speak to her as well, but something was stopping her. Jess heard the detective crying. She desperately tried to open her eyes. She felt Olivia's face again and willed herself to flex her fingers. They moved. Jess forced her eyes open to the brightness of the room. She looked down and saw the hair that looked like hers. "Hey…don't…cry…" Jess's throat was raw and her entire body hurt.

Olivia jolted up. She hadn't imagined the little fingers moving-they really had been. "Jessie," she said with a grin on her face.

Her daughter grinned slightly back at her with lazy eyes. "Livie," she whispered. The pain in her body was familiar. The days after her mother died had felt like this, every limb and muscle felt heavy.

"I'm right here, Kid. Try and stay awake," Olivia said in a soft tone.

"What happened?" Jess was less groggy as she spoke but still felt the same pain.

Despite her better judgment Olivia told Jess the truth. "We were at the courthouse. It was Brian Nudds sentencing hearing. Judge Donnelly handed down her ruling and Nudds…"

"Started screaming…" Jess finished her sentence. "The room started spinning. I couldn't hear anything but my father screaming. I felt him again, behind me. He's right, you know. I'll never be rid of him." Jess was fully aware of her surroundings now and what led to her being in the hospital room.

"That's not true, Jessie. It's gonna take time but Brian is in the past now. He'll never get out of prison." Olivia tried to comfort her daughter.

Jess looked away, unable to continue while looking into Olivia's eyes. She stared at the blanket that surrounded her. "Have you ever wanted to cut yourself and watch the blood run out of you?"

Olivia knew exactly how she felt but remained silent.

The tiny brunette met her eyes again. "You have no idea what it's like to be me." Pain etched across her still pale face. "I have his blood running through my veins." She lifted up her left arm that had the IV in it. "I AM him. I will never be rid of him." Her arm fell back on the bed involuntarily.

"I know how you feel." Olivia's eyes became dark.

"No, you don't," Jess cried.

"Yes, I do." She sighed. "I know exactly how you feel."

Tears rolled down the teen's face. "How could you?"

"My mother was raped on her college campus. Some of the only proof of that rape is me. My father was a rapist. I have his blood running though my veins. My father was a monster just like yours is."

Their eyes had never strayed from each other as Olivia spoke. Now it was Jess's turn. "So you do know what it's like," she whispered.

Olivia nodded.

"I'm sorry you have to live with your monster." The young woman's voice was so soft it sounded as if a six-year-old was speaking.

"And I'm sorry you have to live with yours." Olivia kissed Jess's hand after she spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

The detective shrugged. "I just…wasn't ready. I also didn't want to burden you with my monster. What I've lived with isn't a secret to most of my close friends. Alex, the guys at the squad, Casey, Abbie, Kathy, they all know about my past. It's my darkness, though, and I didn't want you to think about it."

"I appreciate that. We share a very similar darkness, though. Yours isn't any more of a burden to me than mine is to you. It's pain we should share because we know exactly how the other feels." Jess squeezed Olivia's hand gently.

"You're right, Kid. I love you."

"I have a lot of questions for you but they can wait. I just wanna ask one right now."

Olivia nodded for Jess to continue.

"You knew Brian Nudds was my father; you knew our monsters were similar. Is that why you've fought so hard to keep me…because you see yourself in me?"

She knew at some point Jess would ask this. Not if Jess reminded her of herself but why she had fought so hard to keep her. The detective shrugged a little and sighed. "That's a pretty big question."

"You don't have to answer it. I just…wondered."

"I fought hard to keep you out of foster care because you so badly didn't want to go. I fought to be your foster mother because in the few days we spent together all those months ago you filled part of my heart that I never thought would be. I am fighting to be your adoptive mother because I couldn't live without you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone else. You stole my heart, Kid. You let me in and let me be a mother to you. Maybe part of me did see a little of myself in you. Maybe part of me wanted to help you because I knew how much pain you were in. I don't know. All I do know is that you make me a better person and I love you." Olivia grinned.

"I love you." Jess smiled. "Thanks for fighting so hard for me. You've given me everything my biological mother couldn't and I can't thank you enough for that. I need you in my life, Livie…I need a mom."

Olivia stood up, leaned over and kissed her daughter on the forehead. They both looked at the door when it flew open.

When Alex had come back to the hospital room with the coffees she saw Olivia talking to their daughter. As much as the A.D.A. wanted to barge in and hug the teen she had a funny feeling that her detective and her daughter were sharing something personal. The blonde had taken a short walk and on her way back as she turned the corner to Jess's room she saw Richard Stabler bust in, his mother and baby brother right behind him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't get Olivia's text until about an hour ago. I came as soon as I got it," Richard said as he flew through the door.

"It's okay, Rich…seriously it's okay," Jess said trying to calm him down.

Olivia moved out of the way so Richard could be with Jess. She looked at Kathy who spoke to her. "I'm sorry, I know we should have called you but your phone kept going to voicemail and he was gonna take the subway here if I didn't drive him." She adjusted Eli on her hip.

"It's okay. I'm glad he's here. Jess would want to see him." She smiled Kathy. "I'm glad you're here, too."

Alex walked into the room, as the door was stuck open on its hinges now. "Our daughter is awake," she said with a huge grin on her face.

"Yes, she is." Olivia replied and kissed her girlfriend. "Now go over there and see her."

When Jess saw Alex she started to cry. The blonde hugged her and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Kid."

"I love you, too." Jess motioned with her finger for Alex to come closer. She obliged and the teen whispered to her. "Livie told me about her dad. I know he raped her mom. I think she trusts me now."

Alex whispered back. "Jessie, she always trusted you. I think she just didn't want to burden you. Liv wants you to have as normal a childhood as possible and that means keeping things from you that will hurt you or make you sad. I told you if you gave her space she would open up to you; she was just waiting for the right time. I'm glad she told you."

"Me, too."

"Is that my niece over there?" Abbie's drawl made Jess's smile wide.

"Hey, Shorty, nice to see you awake." Casey said with a grin on her face.

It didn't take long before the guys from the squad showed up with celebratory pizza. No one mentioned Brian Nudds or the hearing earlier that morning. Nudds was in the past and that's exactly where everyone wanted him to stay. As everyone dug into the pizza Dr. Walker and Nadine came into the room.

"I think this is a fire code violation," the doctor said as he walked in with a file under his arm.

"It's nice to see those beautiful green eyes, Jess," Nadine said smiling at the teen in the bed.

Jess couldn't put her finger on it but she instantly liked this woman. She blushed slightly. "Thanks."

Dr. Walker looked at Olivia and Alex. "Could I have word with you two and Jess?"

"Sure," Alex said.

"Could everyone give us a minute?" Olivia asked.

Everyone nodded and left the room. Dr. Walked looked at Jess. "I'm Dr. Walker; I took care of you when you first came to the ER today."

Jess nodded. "Nice to meet you. Thanks."

He nodded. "We took you up and got a CT scan of your brain just to rule out any neurological trauma and I have the results now."

Having no idea any of this had happened, Jess looked terrified. Her eyes immediately darted to Olivia and Alex who closed the space between them so they were directly beside her. "What are they?" the detective asked.

"They're negative for neurological trauma and anomalies."

All three women breathed a sigh of relief. The A.D.A. and detective kissed their daughter. Jess looked at the doctor. "Can I go home now?

Nadine chuckled while the doctor smiled. "As soon as your discharge forms are filled out you are free to go as long as you heed my advice."

"Anything," Jess said sounding excited and slightly desperate.

"You need to take it easy. No stress for a few days. Rest at home and get lots of sleep."

"I think I can handle that," the teen said with a smile.

The doctor looked at her mothers. "I trust you two will make sure she adheres to this?"

"Totally."

"Absolutely."

"Great. Well, you have a clean bill of health, Jess, so let's get you discharged and outta here." Dr. Walker signed some forms and handed them to Nadine. He said goodbye to everyone and left the room. Nadine walked over to Jess and handed her a small container. "I believe this belongs to you." Then she looked at Olivia and Alex. "I'm gonna get these forms ready and then all you have to do is sign 'em. I'll be right back."

"Thanks so much, Nadine," Olivia said and hugged her.

"Really, you've been incredible. Thank you." Alex hugged her, too.

Nadine left the room and everyone from out in the hall filed back in. Olivia and Alex told them the good news; not only about Jess's test results but also that she was being discharged with a clean bill of health. The teen opened the tiny container and looked at its contents; her tongue ring. She smiled and rang her tongue along her front teeth-no ring. She took it out of the container and put it back through her tongue.

The next two days were spent mostly with Alex at the condo relaxing and watching movies. Abbie stayed until Saturday but caught a train home that afternoon.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Thirteen: Full-circle

Manhattan's SVU Squad Room

Saturday December 29th, 08:32

Fin walked into the squad room with a file in his hand. "Lab finally came back with the results on the cord and the printout of the LUDS for our Vic's cell."

The other three detectives looked up from what they were doing at their respective desks. "Anything noteworthy?" Olivia asked as she sat back in her chair.

He looked down at the file as he opened it and started to read. "The cord is a match to the ligature marks on Larsson's neck." No surprise there. "The LUDS kicked back a couple of phone numbers. Our Vic's parents and one number that was called over 45 times in the last two weeks leading up to his death. The number is a cell phone number for a Merriam Ali."

Olivia looked through her note pad. "Merriam Ali? No one ever mentioned that name."

"Did they happen to get the fingerprint analysis done?" Munch asked over his glasses.

Fin raised his brow and shook his head. "On the tube of lubrication Warner extracted from Larsson's rectum…no. None of the print analysis from the apartment itself or the lube is back yet either."

"Well, I'd call Merriam Ali a person of interest," Cragen said as he walked towards his detectives. They all had their backs to his office as they were looking at the video board. "Whatta we got on her?"

"Not much. We just got the report." Fin said raising the file in his hand.

Stabler looked up at his Captain. "I'm running the name through the usual places-DMV and NCIC."

"Have we figured out what Larsson did for a living, since Capital Industries never panned out?" Cragen asked. His detectives had all now turned to Fin's desk because Cragin was leaning against it.

Munch spoke first. "Actually, Capital Industries came back to an address in the Bronx. We went out there. It was an abandoned apartment building and that's where the trail ended."

Elliot's laptop beeped and he looked at it. "Merriam Ali has a driver's license and a vehicle." He clicked a couple of more times. "She owns a black 2010 Porsche Turbo. Address puts her at 1340 Martin Street in the Bronx."

"That's the address of the Capital Industries," Munch said.

"She lives in an abandoned apartment building but drives a Porsche?" Fin said with a furrowed brow.

Olivia shrugged. "Some people have interesting priorities." She said it in a tone that meant she wasn't buying the woman lived at the address.

"I want the four of you in the Bronx checking out that address," Cragen said.

"Cap, it's a wild goose chase. She obviously lied to the DMV about where she lived," Elliot said.

"Well, you're either gonna come back with the goose or the girl…" he shrugged. "I'm betting on the girl."

The detectives got up, grabbed their coats and took two unmarked cars to the address in the Bronx.

1340 Martin Street

Bronx, New York

Saturday December 29th, 09:56

As they pulled up across the street from the apartment building Olivia looked at it. "Wow…this place looks like it's right out of an old black and white horror movie."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, they don't make 'em like this anymore."

They got out of the car, as did Munch and Fin, who had pulled up behind them.

"Looks like something outta a Hitchcock movie," Munch said nodding towards the building.

"This place gives me the creeps," Fin said.

"You worked in narcotics before special victims and _this_ creeps you out?" Olivia said as she shot him a sideways look.

"I can handle anything on the street but this…" he nodded to the building, "Just screams bad JuJu."

The other three detectives looked at him like he was a 5150. Munch looked back at the building. "Let's get this over with."

Fin looked to his left and right as they crossed the road. "What apartment number is hers?"

Stabler shook his head. "There wasn't one listed, just this address."

"Building's three stories. We're gonna have to get in there, spilt up and go door to door," Olivia said as the detectives mounted the curb directly in front of building.

As they got to the only door along the front of the building the foursome looked in disbelief. "It's a new metal door with a key pad," Munch said as he looked at the others. "Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…we're gonna need some help," Olivia said grabbing for her phone. The foursome headed back across the street to their cars. Cragen and a SWAT team met the detectives around the corner, in order to not draw attention to them. They had managed to get the building's blue prints; which were 65 years old.

"I know we're working off old schematics here, but it appears there are only two ways in or out-a door in the front and a door in back. We have snipers on the roofs of buildings surrounding the apartment building. We can't know for sure what's on the inside, so be ready for anything."

The SWAT team took their places, half in the front, the other half in the back of the building. Olivia and Elliot went with the team to the back; Fin and Munch were with the team at the front. On Cragen's command both doors were forced in with a small machine and stormed by the teams. Once inside they got their first look at what would become one of their biggest human trafficking busts.

Each apartment had been turned into a cell-like cubicle for the people inside it. All were women and most were originally from Colombia. They found Merriam Ali in her office, which took up two of the four apartments on the ground floor. While their Captain ran her back to the station house it was hours before they got back there to interview.

The cell-like rooms were filthy. As a CSU team went through the entire building it became clear that Ali, and possibly Larsson, had been keeping women there for a long time. They found detailed records in Merriam's office; not only of the women she was prostituting but also of the clients. Each victim was brought to a hospital and interviewed.

In all, each detective interviewed four victims. Each had given details of their horrific ordeal. Merriam Ali had farmed the women, she held captive, out to men. Some women had been kept for as long as two years. They also told the detectives that Ali sold women to men and they never saw these women again. Once they had all the information the detectives were ready to speak to what appeared to be the ringleader back at the squad room.

Manhattan's SVU Squad Room

Saturday December 29th, 16:15

Elliot and Olivia had caught the Larsson case. Sadly it had ballooned into something much bigger but they were still the primaries on the case, so they took their shot at Ali first.

"Well, well, well…you've been a quite an enterprising pimp, haven't you?" Olivia said as she and Elliot walked into Interview One, where Merriam Ali had been put hours earlier.

"I'm hardly a pimp," she said as she crossed her legs and shifted in the chair she was sitting in. Ali was well dressed in a business pant suit.

Olivia opened a file she had brought in and put it on the table between her and the suspect. There were crime scene pictures from the apartment building in the Bronx. The photos detailed the squalid conditions the victims had been forced to live in. "Would you prefer slumlord instead?"

"I gave those girls a place to live, put food in their bellies and helped them build a life here in America. That's not a pimp or a slumlord. That's more like a…friend," Ali said with ease.

"Oh, I see. You were helping those girls out?" Elliot said sympathetically as he sat down in one of the two chairs on his and Olivia's side of the table.

"Exactly," She said eyeing Elliot like he was dinner.

"How did you help them build a life for themselves?" he asked smiling sweetly at her.

"I brought them over here and taught them how to satisfy American men. Then I introduced them to rich men who could make their dreams come true. Those girls have better lives _because_ of me," Merriam said with a cool grin as she leaned back in her chair.

"You were like their Fairy Godmother. They wanted a lavish life here in America and poof…" his smile got wider. "You made it happen for them."

Ali nodded and bowed her head slightly. "I like that. A Fairy Godmother."

Olivia stood by the door of the interrogation room; her part as bad cop was done. It was all Elliot now and he was about to reel in the catch of the day.

"How did Josh Larsson fit into all this?"

"Ahhhh…Josh. He started out helping me with the money. He wanted more responsibility so he started lining up some of the American boys I used to teach the girls." She said it all so matter-of-factly.

Elliot leaned in and spoke softer. "What happened to Josh?"

"Josh, Josh…who cares about him?" She said waving her right hand in the air as if the subject was beneath her.

The detective smiled. "Well it looks like someone did a real number on him. Was that you?"

Ali leaned in, closing the space between her and Elliot across the table. "You're very interested in Josh."

He shrugged slightly but never left her gaze. "I really only have one question…why?"

Merriam giggled. "Josh got greedy. He claimed he needed more money; more money for the men he brought around, more money for himself. He always said to me, 'Money greases the wheels the way lube greases the girls.'"

Stabler smiled. "So that's why you used the tube of lubrication."

"I shoved it right up his ass. I only wish he had been awake to feel it." A sick smile now played across her lips.

"He wasn't awake when you strangled him, either, was he?" Elliot asked as his lip curled up. He was having trouble hiding his disgust.

"No, the drug took care of that."

Elliot stood up and walked behind Ali. "Merriam Ali, stand up."

"Why?" she asked in surprise.

"You're under arrest for the murder of Josh Larsson."

Stabler yanked her up under her right armpit and grabbed his handcuffs from his belt. He cuffed her and walked her to the door. Olivia smiled at her before opening the door. "If I have it my way you'll be going down for human trafficking, too. Youre prints came back on that tube of lubricant. They also showed up in our system. It seems you've been down this road before. See ya soon, Merriam." Benson opened the door and Elliot walked Ali through the squad room and down to booking.

Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley

310 Central Park West

Monday December 31th, 21:30

"You're sure you don't want us to stay in with you guys tonight?" Alex asked as she walked into the living room in a red, skin-tight dress that started at her chest and ended mid-thigh. She had her red five-inch heels in her right hand.

"No, I think we'll be okay," Jess said. She looked at her boyfriend and elbowed him in the ribs when she saw how he was looking at Alex.

"Oooooouch," he said as the air left his lungs.

Alex turned around from looking in the mirror above the fireplace. "What was that?" she asked looking at Richard.

He was taking a drink of Coke to try to right his breathing so Jess answered for him. "He's says you look great."

"Uh-huh," Alex said with her right eyebrow arched.

"You ready, babe?" Olivia asked as she walked in to the living room. She was dressed in a skin-tight black cocktail dress. Spaghetti straps held the dress up, but it still showed about a mile and a half of cleavage.

Richard coughed, choked and spat the Coke in his mouth out all over the coffee table. The three women looked at him. Jess narrowed her eyes at him. "Pig."

"Well, on that note we should probably get going," Alex said

"Yeah, we wouldn't wanna kill Richard," Olivia said.

Jess followed the women to the front hall as they got their coats on. "Happy New Year," She said to them.

"Happy New Year, Jess," Alex said and kissed her.

"Happy New Year, Kid." Olivia kissed Jess once Alex had moved out of the way.

"Sorry about that," Richard said, joining them in the front hall. "Happy New Year."

Olivia and Alex grinned at him. "It's okay," the detective said.

"Have a good night. Happy New Year, Richard," Alex said.

The pair turned and left for the night. Jess turned to her boyfriend. "Smooth move, _Dick_."

He waved his hands in the air. "I'm sorry…but come on. Did you _see_ that dress?"

"You mean did I see Livie's tits?" she asked leveling a sideways look at him.

Richard's face turned serious as did his tone. "So where do _you_ wanna go tonight?"

She grinned. "I though we were having a quiet night in?"

He got a devilish look on his face. "Is that _really_ what you want?"

Jess cocked her right eyebrow. "It's what you promised Allie and Livie."

"I don't see them here," he said looking around.

"You're gonna break me outta this house arrest they have me under, aren't you?"

"Yup," He said as he picked her up, fireman style and walked to her room.

"Hahahahahahha!" Jess screamed and laughed as he carried her.

Richard dropped her onto her bed. "So, were to, Querida?"

She smiled. "Island. Give me 20 minutes."

"Niiiice, I'll get my clothes outta the other room."

The pair got dressed and headed out to Island, their favorite club. They were allowed entrance after slipping the usual $20 to one of the bouncers outside. What they didn't know was that they would have been ushered in without the cash. Juan Rios had them on the VIP list every night. His security team had gathered more information about the teens and their families. When Carlos returned from Ecuador in the spring Juan would be ready.

"904"

Monday December 31st, 22:04

Alex and Olivia waltzed up to the bar and smiled at the barkeep they knew. "Happy New Year, Becca!"

"Whoa…Happy New Year indeed!" Becca said as she hopped over the bar and stood before the pair. "You two look outstanding!"

The trio kissed and hugged each other. "You look fabulous, too," Olivia said as Alex nodded.

"How have you two been? I haven't seen ya in a while."

"We've been busy. Jess's case finally came up for trial," Alex said leaning in so she didn't have to yell.

"How'd our little girl do?" Becca asked.

"She did amazing. Her testimony is over and her attacker had been sentenced," Olivia said, also leaning in.

"What did the bastard get?"

Olivia and Alex looked at each other but the A.D.A. spoke first. "He got life without parole for both murders and ten years for the assault on Jess."

"Thanks to the Counselor here Nudds will never see the outside world again," Olivia said smiling at Alex.

"Congratulations! Now that's something to celebrate!" She turned around and called to one of the other women behind the bar. "Three shots of Jameson." When the shots were sent down the bar a minute later Becca stopped each of them. The trio picked up a shot and looked at each other. "To a new year and a new beginning," Becca said and lifted her shot glass slightly.

"Cheers." Olivia and Alex lifted their shot glasses, too. Each woman downed their shot and set the glass down on the bar. Becca looked at them. "Have fun tonight if I don't see you again. Give Jessie my love."

"We will," Alex said as she hugged Becca.

"Happy New Year, Becca. You look fantastic," Olivia said as she hugged the barkeep.

Becca hopped back over the bar and took a woman's order. She smiled and winked at the detective and the A.D.A. just before they turned to hit the dance floor. The pair danced the night away and at the stroke of midnight kissed to a whole new beginning.

Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley

310 Central Park West

Tuesday January 1st, 02:17

Jess and Richard had made it back to the condo in time to play in the hot tub, make love in bed and fall asleep together. They hadn't meant to; at least that's the story they were going to stick to when grilled about it the next morning.

Olivia unzipped her girlfriend's dress and slipped it off her. Alex stepped out of it once it had pooled at her feet. The detective stepped back and admired what she saw. Silky while breasts covered with a satin red bra and a red thong to match. She kissed Alex and the blonde opened her lips slightly, allowing Olivia's tongue to roam. The brunette moved them closer to the bed; she backed Alex up to it and broke their kiss. "Lie down."

"No…I want to see you," Alex said. She slid the tiny straps of her partner's dress off her olive coloured shoulders. She took the dress down and slid it over Olivia's breasts, down her stomach and over her backside. The detective stepped out of it when it hit the floor. "I didn't think you were wearing a bra," Alex said grinning at the voluptuous sight before her.

"It didn't exactly go with the dress," Olivia replied, enjoying the look on her girlfriend's face.

Her eyes traveled downward and landed on the lacy black panties. "I want you to lie on your belly."

The brunette obliged and lay on her stomach on the bed. Alex straddled the back of her thighs and ran her hands from Olivia's shoulders, down her back and over the curves of her backside. The thong revealed most of the detective's cheeks. The blonde couldn't help herself and bit gently on the right cheek. This garnered a giggle from Olivia. Alex left more love bites on her backside and up her back. It made the detective shudder, giggle and breathe erratically. When the A.D.A. made it up to her girlfriend's neck she licked and sucked at it. "Turn over," she whispered.

Alex let Olivia turn over. The brunette went right for her girlfriend's bra. She sat up slightly, reached around and unhooked it. The A.D.A. laughed as she shook it off. "Hahaha…you just couldn't wait, could you."

"Nope," Olivia said smiling at the sight. "I want your panties, too."

The blonde grinned and hooked her thumbs into the tiny pieces of string that were the sides of the panties. She pulled one side a little and then the other in a cute type of striptease. This continued until the tiny piece of cloth was at her knees. She was kneeling on the bed so that was as far as she could slide it. "Let me see you."

Opening her legs to Alex brought a totally new look to her face. Her normally bright blue eyes turned dark and the corners of her lips curled slightly in a devilish grin. It made Olivia feel unbelievably sexy. Her partner leaned over and hooked her fingers into the lacy sides of her panties and tugged. Olivia closed her legs and lifted her backside long enough for Alex to pull the lacy garment off. Once it left her she put her feet flat on the bed and spread her legs again. Alex put her hands on the tops of her detective's knees and slid them down, closer to her center. She held Olivia's thighs in place as she knelt between them. She ran her tongue through the already wet folds and loved the gap that it brought from the woman she was doing it to. Alex used her tongue to find the brunette's clit. It wasn't difficult given how hard it was. She began sucking on it.

"Uhhhhhh…."Olivia whispered as she squirmed slightly.

Alex continued to suck. At first it was just a little pressure. The harder Olivia became, the more pressure the she put on her clit. She let go of the detective's thigh with her right hand and slid it between her legs. Alex used her index finger and traced her girlfriend's sex.

"Ohhhhhh…fuck…" Olivia moaned. If Alex sucked any harder she was scared her clit was going to pop. "Fuck…me…" she moaned and bucked her hips slightly trying to force her lover's finger inside her.

A rush of heat flooded to Alex's center at the words. She loved what she did to Olivia. She also didn't want to keep her waiting. She sunk two fingers into her girlfriend as she sucked on her clit. Alex couldn't believe how easily they slid in. She pushed a third finger inside and Olivia.

"Yeeeeessss…ohhhhh…fuck me, Alllll…"

Olivia bucked her hips and Alex kept up the pace with her fingers. The detective started to whimper. "Uuuhhh…stop…sucking. Fuck…me…"

Alex lessened the pressure on Olivia's clit until she wasn't sucking at all. She lifted her head slightly and then the rest of her body. She moved her legs and matched her abdomen with Olivia's. She set her left hand down on the bed for leverage. The blonde continued to keep the pace set by her detective but pressed her abdomen down hard onto Olivia's.

"Aaaaahhhhhh…Fuuuuuck…Yeeesssss….uuuhhhh," Olivia panted as she pressed hard against her lover's abdomen. She reached out and put her arms around Alex's neck. "Haaarrderrrr…"

Alex could feel the walls of Olivia's sex contracting around her fingers. She slid them out gently and rubbed Olivia's clit. She pressed down as hard as she could on her girlfriend's pelvic bone and thrust several times.

"Uhhh…uhhh…uhhh… Allllllexxx…" Olivia half-whined half-panted as the surge came over her. It was instant pleasure. She had never felt that kind of release before. It was so good until she realized what she had done.

Alex felt the contraction and then she felt her lover let go and her orgasm took over. This was different than all the others. The A.D.A. felt wetness…everywhere. It was the most extraordinary thing she had ever felt.

When she caught her breath Alex very gently let Olivia push her out. She opened her eyes and realized her detective was crying. "What's wrong?" she asked, instantly concerned she had hurt her.

"Don't look at me…" Olivia said totally embarrassed.

"Baby…what's wrong?" Alex asked continuing to look at the woman she loved.

"I'm sorry. I'm sooo sorry I did that to you…or uh on you," Olivia said as she curled up and shifted to her side, away from Alex.

"What? Liv you didn't do anything to me or…on me. What are you talking about?" The blonde was concerned and moved so that Olivia couldn't avoid her eyes.

Olivia was mortified. "I peed on you."

"Hahahahaha…no you didn't" Alex assured her, although she couldn't help the giggle.

"Yes, I did and it's not funny."

"No…you really didn't. You squirted on me…but you didn't pee on me," Alex said and brushed away the hair that had fallen across Olivia's face with her left hand.

"Really?" the brunette said finally looking at her lover.

"Yes, really. When you press on a woman's abdomen like that it increases the chances that she'll do that. I've been trying to get the right spot for a while now." She grinned. "I felt you react through my fingers when I hit it so I fucked it right out of you."

Remembering back to the indescribable feeling, Olivia moaned and closed her eyes. "Yeeees, you did." When she opened them Alex was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. "You're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you, Counselor?"

"Yes. Hahahaha..I made you squirt." Alex threw her head back in laughter; she never saw her detective coming. Olivia tackled her and pushed her onto her back. "Well, well, well…Counselor…whatta ya gonna do now?"

Alex's smile turned devilish. "I don't know, Squirt. I guess I'm at your mercy."

A redish hue stung Olivia's cheeks. She tried to get back some of her pride with false bravado. "You're gonna pay for that comment." The detective flipped the blonde on her stomach. She slid her breasts along the rise of Alex's backside, the plane of her back and pushed them into her shoulder blades as she leaned over her girlfriend. Olivia put her left hand down on the bed above the A.D.A.'s head for leverage as she knelt down. With her right hand she brushed Alex's hair to the left, forcing her head to face right. The detective licked and then sucked on her lover's earlobe. She bit down slightly and she felt Alex shiver. Olivia let go of her ear and whispered softly. "I'm gonna make you mine, baby." It was said lovingly and made the tiny hairs on Alex's ears stand on end.

"Make me yours, Liv…I want to be all yours," Alex whispered.

Olivia left soft kisses along her girlfriend's neck, back and bum. The detective put her hands under Alex's thighs and pulled on them, forcing her to her knees. She laid on her back and slid between Alex's legs. She licked gently at the slick folds.

The velvety touch left Alex breathless. Her detective made small circles with her tongue and the blonde started to breathe harder. Olivia slid a finger inside the A.D.A.'s sex. She was so wet that on the second stroke the brunette pushed a second finger inside.

"Uh…uh…uh…" Alex panted as she bucked her hips. A third finger found its way inside her and she spread her legs wider. "Uhhhhhh….uhhhh…yessss…."

When Alex spread her legs wider it lowered her body closer to Olivia. The detective had let her girlfriend set the pace and it had sped up exponentially since they had started. The blonde was soaked and Olivia wanted to pay her back for how she had made her feel a few minutes ago. She stopped licking and sucking Alex's clit. She took her left hand and started to rub it with her index finger. The harder pressure made the A.D.A. push against her.

With her wet left index finger Olivia stopped rubbing and moved to the tiny puckered hole she knew needed attention. She gently rubbed it which garnered a small whine from her girlfriend. The detective rubbed it a little harder before working her finger inside, ever-so-slightly.

"Yeeeeesssss…" Alex exhaled as she and gripped the bed sheets.

Olivia continued her pace inside the blonde's sex. She started a much slower pace with her left finger. It didn't take long until she was inside down to her second knuckle.

"Ooooohhhhh….yeaaaahhhh. Liv, fuck…me. Maaaake…meee…come…" Alex begged as Olivia stimulated her as no one had before.

The detective pushed her index finger inside and started to wiggle it at the same pace she was fucking her girlfriend's sex. She felt Alex's thighs quiver.

"Yeeeesssss….Liiiiv. I'm yours…I'mmmm alllllll yourrrrrsss…"

"Come for me, Alex." Olivia pushed her index finger in and pulled it out slowly but continued to wiggle it at the same pace as she fucked the blonde's sex. She felt the walls of Alex sex and backside tense hard around her fingers.

"Uuuuuhhhhhhh…." Alex buried her face in the sheets and screamed "YEEEEESSSS…." as Olivia made her come…_hard_.

Very slowly Olivia pulled her left index finger from the tight hole. She let Alex push the fingers of her right hand out of her sex. Olivia slid out from under her lover and lay beside her. Alex's legs collapsed and she shifted her head all the way to the left to see her detective's face as she caught her breath. Olivia was grinning. "Proud of yourself, Squirt?"

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

To the detective's credit the grin never left her lips but there was a hint of embarrassment in her tone. "It's not something to live down; it's something to celebrate. I love that I could do that to you; touch you like that. More importantly, I love that you felt that much pleasure." Alex smiled at her sweetly.

"It felt incredible; pure liquid ecstasy. I love that _you_ made me feel that; that it came from you."

"I love the way _you_ make me feel. No one has ever done that to me. No one has ever made me feel that erotic pleasure." Alex grinned still tingling.

The pair took a hot shower and slept naked in each other's arms.

**Family Court Building**

**60 Lafayette Street, Manhattan**

**Wednesday January 16****th****, 09:01**

Judge Wong called the court to session. She looked first at Jess, her attorney and Olivia. The detective and A.D.A. had hired the best adoption attorney Alex knew. The Judge then looked at Sharon Wilkinson on the other side of the small court room. "Ms. Wilkinson have Ms. Benson and Ms. O'Malley attended the mandatory training sessions?"

Wilkinson nodded as she looked at the Judge. "Yes, they have your Honour. They achieved outstanding marks."

Wong nodded and continued. "I see the Home Study been completed." She reviewed the high points of the report and looked at Olivia, Alex who sat directly behind her in the observation area and Jess. "According to the Home Study Ms. Wilkinson thinks Ms. Benson and Ms. Cabot have provided an exemplary home for Jess. She goes on to say that they are loving, caring and attentive towards Jess and her needs. Ms. Benson, it says here that you took a number of days off over the holidays in order to spend time with Jess. Is that true?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, your Honour. Jess was off school and I wanted to spend time with her. It was also the holiday season and I wanted to be there to share that with her and be there if it became overwhelming for her."

The Judge furrowed her brow. "Overwhelming in what sense?"

"Jess had to testify in the case against her attacker. She also voluntarily gave a witness impact statement at his sentencing. I wanted to make sure she had my support and undivided attention during that time. I also worried that she would miss her mother more during that difficult time or just during the holiday season. I wanted to make sure she felt safe and loved." Olivia held Jess's hand under the table. The teen squeezed her hand gently.

Wong nodded. "I'm glad you had that foresight and intuition. Over the last eight months I have reviewed this case seven times in the interest of the minor. Having a foster parent who works upwards of 55 hours a week is not an ideal foster situation. We strive for someone who can be there for the child; when they come home from school, need help with their homework or need someone to take them to activities. Ms. Benson, while trying her best, has been unable to achieve this type of care."

Olivia's heart sank and she was finding it hard to breath. She had failed in court the way she had failed at the adoption agency years ago.

Judge Wong continued. "We strive for a foster parent to bond with the minor and vice versa. It's imperative for a solid relationship to grow; trust and stability are at the root of this. The attention, concern and love Ms. Benson has shown Jessica O'Malley over the course of the last eight months has achieved all of these things and then some. Based on the reports from Ms. Wilkinson and my own personal observations I see no reason why Ms. Benson should continue to be Jessica O'Malley's foster mother. I am granting the adoption motion and as soon as all the parties sign it will be official."

Jess smiled. "Yeeeeesss." She turned and hugged Olivia. The detective was speechless. _What happened? Did she win? Was Jessie hers?_ Jess pushed away from her slightly and looked at her. "Did you hear that?" she said, grinning. "It's official…I'm yours and you're mine, forever."

_She had won. She had a daughter._ Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she hugged her little girl. She kissed the top of her head as the tears fell. When the hug ended Jess turned and hugged Alex. While the teen signed her part of the adoption paperwork Alex and Olivia hugged. "It's official, it's a girl and she's all yours."

"She all ours, forever," Olivia said gripping her girlfriend.

Olivia, the lawyer, Sharon Wilkinson and Judge Wong all signed after Jess. It was official; Olivia Benson agreed to assume full legal rights and obligations for Jessica O'Malley and DCFS's supervision was no longer required. The adoption was finalized and the case was closed. Jess, Alex and Olivia went to the diner for brunch to celebrate and tell Tony the good news.

Manhattan Cemetery

**Thursday January 17****th**

She stared at the tombstone for a moment before walking up and brushing away the new fallen snow that had accumulated. It had been a while since Jess had visited her mother's grave. "I miss you," she whispered as she stepped back. _How could she say all she needed to? How could know for sure her mother wasn't upset with her?_

Jess heard footsteps in the snow behind her. The cemetery had been pretty deserted as she had walked through it to get to her mother's grave. She concentrated on the steps harder when she realized they were getting closer to her. Within four more steps she recognized them. The person stopped directly beside Jess, but not in her personal space. She acknowledged the individual by asking a question. "Do you miss her?"

"Yes. Probably not as much as you, though. What are you doing out here today?"

The tiny brunette sighed. "Do you think she's angry that I asked Olivia to adopt me?"

"Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged. "For months I've been living in this sort of dream world. I went from having you and Connie and a few close friends to having a totally different life. Different job, different school, different zip code, two parents who love me." She finally looked up at Tony and he met her eyes. "A totally different life, a dream life. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop; waiting for someone or something to pull me out of everything I have now and put me back where I was."

"Now that the adoption's final you know that isn't going to happen."

Jess nodded.

"You are always going to struggle with the loss of your mother. It happened when you were so young and forced you to grow up faster than anyone would have liked, including her. I would imagine when she looks down on you she wishes she hadn't had to leave you, if for no other reason than you deserved more. More time with her, more of a childhood, more freedom and more time to become the woman you want to be and not the one you've been forced to become too quickly."

The teen nodded.

"What Olivia and Alex are offering you is space to grow, a childhood, freedom, opportunity, love and, most of all, time. Time to have all those things and time to become the woman your mother would have nurtured if she had been here. In all honesty, Little One," his eyes filled with tears as he used the nickname Jess had come into the diner with all those years ago when Katharine had walked through the doors with her for the first time. "Your mother would be happy to know that you have two people who can love you the way she wishes she could be here to. You deserve to be happy and to have a childhood and to have those things without guilt. Your mother wouldn't be angry with you, for any reason. She would be as proud of you as I am, more so if that's possible."

Jess's eyes had welled up with tears at the use of the nickname her mother had given her as a toddler. The day they buried her mother she had asked Connie, Tony and Ken never to use the special name again. She couldn't stand to hear anyone use it knowing she would never hear Katharine utter it again. The trio had obliged the request, up to now. "Thanks, Tony. As hard as I had it you were always there, doing everything you could to make it easier for me; and you did. I don't know what I would have done without you and Connie. I love you." She hugged the older man and he hugged her back. Jess let a few tears fall while she laid her head against his jacket.

When they let go of each other they turned and stared back at the tombstone. "You think she knew Connie was my biological Grandmother the whole time?"

Tony raised his brow at the question. "There are some secrets that were buried with her, Jessie…that's one of them."

"If you want to forgive Connie, I won't be angry."

"She knew who Brian was the whole time; she continued to see him even when I asked her to give him up. All those years of lies. If she cut all ties, if she hadn't led him to you…" he trailed off, unable to continue.

"Connie didn't lead my father to me." Jess turned her head and looked at Tony with narrowed eyes. "There is no way she could have known what he was going to do to me. You can't blame her for Brian attacking me."

Tony met her gaze but didn't look as if he was buying what she was saying.

She softened her features. "Seriously, you can't. Don't confuse your hatred of Brian Nudds with your hurt for Connie's betrayal. They are two different beasts that you're fighting with. I'm not about to stand here and defend Connie but I was around for a few of those years and not everything was a lie. Her love for you and the happiness you both shared was real. I want for you what my mother would want for me…to be happy. Connie has made you happy for a long time. That couldn't have disappeared in an instant."

He pursed his lips and held his right hand up to her left cheek. "Wanna go sling some hash with me?"

Jess smiled. "Can't think of anything I'd rather do."

Friday January 18th, 21:41

Ken and Richard stood behind the counter and watched. It was as close as the tattoo artist would let them get while he worked. Ken and Shane, the tattooist, were friends. Shane never did illegal tattoos but when Ken had come to him almost three years ago and explained what Jess wanted and why, he had obliged. When his friend called him two days ago and asked for another favor for the young woman Shane, again, agreed to do an off the books/after hour/illegal tattoo.

When anyone had asked what she wanted as a gift for her adoption Jess had said money for a good cause. She had received money from the guys at the squad, Casey and Abbie. With her own money she had bought a tattoo for her left bicep. It was the same small lettering as the one on her right only this one read 'Stabler'. What she had bought with half the money from her friends was being permanently etched across her left shoulder blade. 'Benson' was currently been scrolled in larger letters. The other half of the money Jess was saving. One day, when it was appropriate she would have a hyphen drawn across her spine and 'Cabot' etched on the right shoulder blade. At some point she had a pretty good feeling the pair would make it official. She didn't want to be presumptuous, though, and have it tattooed before Olivia and Alex figured it out themselves.

**Epilogue:**

**A Friday evening in early May…**

Over a cook-off (Elliot won this time) Jess and her quasi mothers joined the Stables at their large kitchen table. The kids were about to get up and clear the table when Olivia asked Jess if there was one car she could have in the whole world what would it be.

Without missing a beat and said matter-of-factly Jess answered. "An Audi R8."

Elliot spat out the MGD in his mouth and Richard choked on the soda in his. He leveled a look at his girlfriend from across the table. "Are you outta your mind?"

The detective looked at Jess like she really was just that. "That's a hundred and fifty thousand dollar car, Kid!"

Jess gestured, her hands out in front of her as she stood up to start clearing the table. "She asked! I would live in that car if I had one. It's hot!"

All the kids got up then and started clearing the dishes. They razzed Jess about the car and Olivia leaned to her left, Alex met her half way in order to hear her whisper. "We're not buying her an R8."

Alex grinned. "Can we get her a Mini?"

"If we keep giving her things, she is going to start to feel she is entitled to everything," Olivia mused as she watched their daughter and teased her girlfriend's back.

The A.D.A.'s grin widened. "Isn't she? And may I remind you that it was you who came to me, Elliot and Kathy about taking everyone to Disney World and Universal Studios later this month?"

Olivia turned her attention to her lover and Alex met her eyes. "That day, way back when Sharon Wilkinson took Jess to the group home she and I spent the afternoon together, in Central Park. I asked her if she could go anywhere where would she go. She told me Disney World because it was the happiest place on earth. What better gift could we give her for passing the eleventh grade than taking her to the happiest place on earth?"

Alex tilted her head. "Apparently an Audi R8, Squirt."

The detective leaned in closer and to the side so that her mouth was half and inch from Alex's ear. "She'll forget that R8 when she sees that mouse with the big ears. Oh…" she said as she bit down a little on the blonde's earlobe, "and you'll pay for that wisecrack later tonight."

A sharp intake of air was Alex's only response as her detective bit down a little harder on her earlobe as finished the sentence.

**The following Monday…**

'**Island'**

**Upstairs office**

"Welcome back, Carlos," he said, standing on one side of a large desk with some files in his hand.

"Thank you, Juan. It's good to be back in America. I see from your weekly reports business has been good all winter," he said with his head cocked to the right, alluding to not only the legal but illegal business that Carlos Ramirez dealt in.

Juan nodded his head slightly. "Yes, sir. Business has been lucrative for the past five months. It isn't everyday club profits go up in the winter."

"How do you account for that, given how watered down the drinks that we serve are?" Carlos asked, having thought the same thing about the club. His illegal businesses, drugs and recently prostitution, were a sure thing; he had been in the drug business a long time and selling women went with it. The club he owned, Island, was mostly a front to funnel money through. He owned a small piano bar called Mojito, which was where he was currently running his women and two thirds of his drugs out of. Carlos tried to keep Island as clean as possible since that's where the authorities thought the drugs were coming from.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about today," Juan said with a small smile on his face. "Let me tell you a story, and before you get angry, hear me out."

Carlos sat back in his leather chair. He nodded at the man before him to indicate he was listening and wouldn't interrupt.

Juan began. "A few months ago, on a Saturday night, I noticed two minors on the dance floor. I normally wouldn't have but they were tearing it up and most of the eyes in the club were on these two. They got the place going and almost never left the dance floor all night. At first I thought they were there getting drunk, but I talked to Ramon and he said they only ordered soda all night. I fired the bouncer who let them in that night, but in hindsight I should have given him a raise. More liquor was sold that night than on the eight Saturdays before. The next week when they showed up I had the bouncers let them in. Numbers were up for the night already; by 10:30 we were at capacity. Once they arrived and started dancing, people watched, danced and liquor poured freely all night. We surpassed sales from the previous Saturday. People started coming in anticipation of these teenagers. They heated the place up and our bar cooled it down. We've never had a winter like this, and we owe it to these two."

At that point Juan handed over two of the four files he had in his hand. Carlos leaned forward, took them from him and opened them. "Richard Stabler and Jessica O'Malley," he said after looking at the pictures on the top of the files and reading the first page of each. "What are you suggesting; we give these kids a handshake for making our winter sales boom?"

"I'm not finished, sir." Juan said. "I had a background check run on both of them. On the second page in each file you will find out who their parents are."

Carlos flipped to the second page in each file and read the printouts. As he finished he couldn't hide the smile. "Richard Stabler is the son of decorated Detective Elliot Stabler and Jessica O'Malley was recently adopted by Detective Olivia Benson." He looked up at his business manager. "Do these detectives of the NYPD know their kids are out clubbing?"

Juan shook his head. "I doubt it." He handed his boss the other two files. "There are the background checks on the detectives. Given our new line of business, _these_ particular detectives might come in handy."

The tanned man took the files and opened them. As he read them he started to understand where Juan was going with this. He finally looked up and sat back again. "Your thinking that at some point we will hit on Special Victims Unit radar, given the women we are running are barely women." His business manager nodded. "And you're thinking we can use these detectives' kids as leverage against them?"

Juan nodded. "How is it going to look to their Captain, or better yet the public, when we take it to the media that the kids of two of New York's finest have been out clubbing for months?"

A small smile appeared on Carlos's face as he went back to Richard and Jess's files.

**Manhattan's SVU Squad Room **

The detectives sat at their desks in the bullpen. Olivia and Elliot were working a case and Munch and Fin were catching the next one that came in. What walked through the door next none of them could have been prepared for. Fin looked up and recognized the two men. "What are you two doing up here?"

"Slummin' in sex crimes. How are ya, Fin?" the first man said, extending his hand to the now standing Fin.

"I'm good, man," the detective said shaking the man's hand. Fin looked around at his co-workers. "This is my old partner from Narcotic, Detective Craig Luck."

The detectives nodded at him and smiled. Luck looked around and nodded to everyone, and then he introduced his partner. "This is Detective Curtis Martin." The SVU squad acknowledged him as well.

Fin looked back at his old partner. "Seriously, C, what are you doin' up here?"

"I come to you today with an offer," the narcotics detective said.

"Really?" Fin said with his brow raised. "An offer, or you need our help."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Both. We have a guy named Carlos Ramirez under surveillance."

"Well, not so much him as his businesses. Ramirez himself has been in Ecuador for the last few months. His business, however, has flourished despite his absence," Curtis said.

"We have had his business manger, Juan Rios, under surveillance the whole time. Just before Ramirez left for the winter they got into a new line of business. They added running women to their already lucrative cocaine business," Craig explained.

Fin looked at his co-workers and then spoke on their behalf. "Prostitution is a VICE thing. No offence, but shouldn't you be barking up their tree?"

Craig nodded slightly. "We were going to, but we hadn't been able to get close enough to the organization to gauge how far the prostitution was going. Last week we finally got a guy on the inside." Craig shook his head. "It's bad. The women they're turning out are kids, teenagers."

Elliot sucked in some air. "Well…that's definately up our tree."

The door opened to Captain Cragen's office. He and another man stepped out and addressed everyone in the squad. It surprised everyone standing before them, given that no one had seen the man enter the Captain's office. "Well, I see my guys are already here. Have they brought you up to date on the Ramirez case?"

Fin looked at his former Captain. "Yes, sir."

Cragen nodded. "We're going to work with Narcotics on this. In the end, they will take the drug bust and we'll take the prostitution of the minors. Fin and Munch can start now. Benson, Stabler once you have wrapped up the allegation at the Andrews' residence you can join them."

Olivia looked at Cragen. "We're not convinced it's just an allegation. We need some more time."

"Fine. Work your case but once you're done you join everyone else on the Ramirez case." He and the other Captain shook hands, nodded to everyone and went in opposite directions, Cragen back into his office and the Captain from Narcotics out the door of the squad room.

The detectives looked at each other. Craig spoke first. "Wanna hear what we have?"

Munch nodded. "Conference room is free. Let's get started in there."

Everyone headed into the conference room to hear what the Narcotics squad had on Carlos Ramirez.

**Back in the upstairs office of 'Island'**

Carlos picked up the picture of Jess. "I want to meet this beautiful girl."

Juan narrowed his eyes slightly. He didn't think his boss would move this quickly. "Sir, if you are going to _have_ her, preparations must be made."

"Then start the preparations. This one is special," he said as he looked at the picture. His gaze traveled up to his business manager. "I merely want to meet Jessica O'Malley and befriend her. My intentions are pure, Juan, for now."

**Author's Note**

Okay, I know I left a bit of a cliffhanger here. The thing is, I'm not done with the 'S' series…yet. I wanted to thank all of you for coming on this journey with me. Scent was my first attempt at writing a novel and to have seen these characters through three is incredible for me. More of a surprise, though, is that you all have stuck it out and seen this through to what was supposed to be the end. The next novel is called Salvation and the one thing I will promise you all is this: Olivia and Alex will stay together…forever. I am in the final stages of writing Salvation and will post is as soon as I get it back from my editors. Thanks again to all of you for reading.

**Deleted Scenes from Sins:**

There were storylines and scenes that were cut from this novel in order to try and keep some of the pace. While some of the scenes and storylines will be used in future novels some were specific to _this_ one and will never be used again. Here is one of them:

Residence of A.D.A. Cabot, Detective Benson and Jessica O'Malley

310 Central Park West

Sunday December 30th, 14:07

By Sunday Jess had cabin fever so she, Casey and Alex had gone to the diner for lunch. They met Ken there and Tony actually sat with them and ate. Jess and Alex had only been home for ten minutes when the landline rang. It almost never did so both women looked at each other as Jess picked up it.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Ms. O'Malley, this is Carlos from downstairs. I have a woman named Elizabeth Donnelly here to see you."

"_Judge_ Elizabeth Donnelly?" Jess asked still looking at Alex. She heard Carlos ask and then he came back on the line.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Tell her I'll be right down."

The teen disconnected.

"Liz Donnelly is downstairs?"

Jess nodded. "Yup, she's in the lobby."

"She asked to see you?" Alex asked

"Yup."

"Why didn't you tell her to come up here?"

The younger woman stood up. "You still have to try cases in front of her. I still have to testify in her courtroom for Computer Crimes. Livie will have to go before her, too. I'm not about to invite her into our home."

Alex stood when Jess headed for the front hall. "Want me to go down there with you?"

"Naw, it's okay, Mama. You should take something out of the freezer for dinner. Livie told me this morning that once she was done her paperwork from yesterday's arrest she'd be home. It would nice if she came home to something home cooked." Jess stepped into a pair of her DC shoes that were lined up by the door.

The A.D.A. and detective had wondered if Jess continued to use that term to address them because of Abbie's presence. However, Abbie had gone home yesterday and she had called both of them Mama today. It made both women grin and they were happy to share the title. "You know, you're right. Don't be too long down there."

"I won't." Jess smiled as she looked back at Alex before closing the door and heading to the elevator.

When the doors opened the teen saw the Judge standing on one side of the security desk. Carlos was on the other. "Judge Donnelly," she said and nodded.

"Ms. O'Malley," she replied and nodded back.

There were two couches off to one side of the lobby; beyond them were two club chairs with their backs to the wall separated by a small table. Jess gestured with her right hand towards the chairs. The Judge walked towards them and sat in one; Jess sat in the other.

"How are you feeling?" the Judge asked having to turn her head to make eye contact with Jess. She set a small bag on the table that sat between the chairs.

"Much better, thank-you," the teen nodded slightly, making eye contact.

"I'm not sure how much of that morning you remember but I meant what I said to you. I admire your strength and courage. It took a lot of guts to do what you did," Donnelly said in a sincere tone.

Jess shrugged and her face remained stoic. "You saw how many people were in court with me that morning. I have a lot of people to lean on; a lot of people to support me."

The Judge was surprised. Jess had chosen seats where no one could sit behind them and she could see everything and everyone in the lobby. It was the only place Detective Benson would have picked. The stoic poker face and respect was all A.D.A. Cabot. The fearlessness the young woman exuded while speaking to her was a combination of both women. "While that's true, it wasn't them testifying against their attacker in open court. It wasn't them who voluntarily spoke on Friday morning at the hearing either. It was you. Don't ever sell yourself short, Ms. O'Malley."

While Jess nodded, she didn't verbalize that she understood; instead she changed the subject. "I appreciate you coming by to see how I am but Alex is waiting upstairs for me."

It had taken her the better part of two days to put all the pieces together but Donnelly had figured out Jess's address and her foster status; she found out a lot about Cabot and Benson as well. The whole story had surprised her but she was happy for all three women. "I'm sorry to have kept you this long. Please," she turned and picked up the small bag off the table, "take this and get back to your family."

Jess accepted the gift bag from the Judge. "I don't understand?"

"It's a get well gift."

Both women stood and Jess opened the bag. A grinned formed on her face and she looked up at the taller woman. "Red licorice and M&M's?"

It was the first time the Judge had seen the kid in Jessica O'Malley. She was a very bright and empathic young woman with a ton of courage and a huge heart; and it was all her. Donnelly shrugged. "I took a guess."

The grin turned to a smirk. "Liar. You called Don Cragen."

Elizabeth Donnelly smirked back. "Maybe."

"Thanks, Judge Donnelly." A genuine smile graced Jess's lips.

"You're welcome, Ms. O'Malley. I really am glad you are feeling better."

Later that evening:

They sat down for dinner at the dining room table. Alex looked at Olivia after she had swallowed the mouthful of food in her mouth. "I understand that you wrapped up your current case."

The detective nodded as she took a swig of beer. "Yup. Got my DD5's in for the initial case but we aren't even close to finishing the paperwork on the human traff…" Alex cleared her throat. They had discussed limiting Jess's exposure to their cases and both women had decided that they would try to keep the shop talk out of regular conversations. Olivia regrouped. "It's gonna take some time until we get the paperwork to you on the spin-off case."

Alex nodded. "The suspect you arrested isn't who you started out looking for, was it?"

"Yes and no," Olivia said after she swallowed a mouthful of food.

"What?" Alex asked after a mouthful of wine in a confused tone.

"Uhhhh…well…it was the same person," Olivia said with a furrowed brow. She was having trouble explaining without actually saying the words.

Alex looked perplexed. "How…uh….how is that possible? Was there one arrest or two?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "One."

"Hey," Jess said in an angry tone. "Do you remember that guy, that time, from that place up around the bend?"

"What?" both women asked as she looked puzzled at her.

"Exactly! What the _hell_ is going on here?" she ask, still irritated.

The pair looked at each other and then back at Jess. "We think you know too much about what we do on daily basis," Olivia started.

"So we are gonna try to cut back on the details when you're around," Alex added and took a drink of wine.

"First of all, that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Secondly, the two of you are terrible at this." She looked at Alex. "The squad made one arrest. The person they arrested went by an alias which was the first name they had. So, while they arrested someone with a different name, it's actually the same person they were initially looking for."

Olivia gestured towards Jess and almost spat out the beer in her mouth. "Exactly! God, you're good at that."

Jess sighed. "I didn't pass out in court because I know too much about what the two of you work on. I didn't pass out because of what I do for a living. I passed out because I helped send my father to prison. It had nothing to do with us or our life. Please stop blaming yourselves. The last thing I want is for things to change around here."

The girlfriends looked at each other. It took about ten seconds but they came to a silent conclusion. They looked back at their daughter. "Fine." Jess didn't care that it was said in a defeated tone. She really didn't want anything to change in their lives. She smiled. "Thanks."

Alex changed the subject. "So, our daughter had a visitor today."

"Oh yeah." Olivia said as she chewed her food. "Who?"

"Judge Elizabeth Donnelly." Alex never took her eyes off Jess. She hadn't asked her about the visit when she had reappeared in the condo but now was a good time.

Olivia choked on her food. She took a swig of beer, swallowed and looked at Jess. "What did Donnelly want?" 

Jess smiled. "To give me candy."


End file.
